Sleep whisperer/Ferber help

chance_encounters · September 2013

So DS is 7 1/2 months and we just started working on sleep training about 8 nights ago. DS is still waking and crying at night. Right now he goes down at 7/7:30 I do a sleep feed (breasted) at 11 and he wakes up at 1:30 wanting to nurse. The first 3 nights of training he cried for nearly 4 hours. Now he cries for an hour or less. Then he wakes at 3:30 wanting to nurse (which I usually do) and he is up for the day at 6:30. According to the book his schedule should be more like this: *6 Months & Beyond Schedule* 7:00 AM Wake & Feed 7:30 Activity btwn 9-9:30 Nap 11:15 Breast/Bottle (snack) 11:30 Activity 1:00 Lunch (solids) 1:30 Activity btwn 2-2:30 Nap 4:00 Breast/Bottle (snack) 4:15 Activity 5:30-6:00 Dinner (solids) 7:00 Bath/Bedtime ritual btwn 7:30-8 Bedtime 9 MOS. & BEYOND: Baby should be able to go 5 hours between feeds. ************************ Please give me some guidance on this! I would like to eliminate these 1:30 & 3:30 wakings but it has been an uphill battle. Thanks ladies.

erbear · September 2013

It could be that you need a different method. I know it's frustrating, but 8 nights in, he shouldn't still be crying for an hour. it's not working. And 4 hours the first night? Yikes.

Are you doing straight CIO? Check-ins?

chance_encounters · September 2013

Check ins. And the pick up put down. He is never alone more than 20 min and if I feel he is getting really upset I go in before time is up. He is not straight hysterical crying. He will start out crying, then it goes to a whimper/whine back to a cry. I talked to the doctors in his ped. Office Friday. One said stop going in period and just let him cry it out. The other one said go in every 30 minutes no less and soothe him but do not give up.

=Lee=B · September 2013

Pretty sure if I gave that schedule to my daughter she'd chew it up and spit it in my face, then laugh! Breastmilk is digested quickly, typically in about 2hrs max. If baby is supposed to go 5hrs by this schedule it means the baby is sitting there hungry for about 3 hrs before the schedule says to feed. I wouldn't want to go anywhere near ME if I was left hungry for 3hrs! My husband knows enough to proceed with caution (and snacks in hand) if I am hungry! My 6month old just started being able to go 3hrs between feeds, sometimes. She still has 4-5 naps a day. This schedule would wreak havoc on her and would have her up screaming all night because she would be starving from not getting enough during the day.

I think you need to tweak the schedule to meet your babies needs.

Also, I would think 4hrs (even 1hr) of crying would leave one quite thirsty.

jglenn4 · September 2013

Wow. That schedule seems so rigid for a baby.

I have to agree with Lee B. My daughter will be 6 months in 2 days and she is taking three naps (with each lasting about 1-2 hours). I exclusively pump and my daughter drinks 6 bottles a day and drinks them about every 3-4 hours. I've tried to tweak it by giving her more to see if she could stretch the time between feedings but it does not work. 4 hours is the max between feedings unless she ends up sleeping unusually long. I didn't have to sleep train her, she kind of fell into her own schedule. What I have noticed is that she naturally fell into a 1-2-3 schedule (a nap one hour after waking between 4 and 5 a.m., then another nap 2 hours after she wakes up from the first nap, then her final nap is 3 hours after that one). We normally start her bedtime routine at 7-7:30 and she's in bed no later than 8:30.

I too think you should try something else. It doesn't seem like Ferber is working. All of my friends that have used it said by night 2-3 their baby was sleeping through the night. Sounds like your LO has something else in mind. :-) FYI...my pediatrician said at 6 months most babies should be able to sleep through the night without needing to feed. I, however, am 38 years old and have woken up nightly (btwn 2-4 am) the majority of my life for a midnight snack! I can't go back to sleep unless I do so. Maybe your LO is a late night snacker.

Good luck!

chance_encounters · September 2013

Ok. What brought us to this is DS was sleeping 7:30-3:30am nursing, back to sleep and up for the day at 6:30 then suddenly stopped. I know he is capable of sleeping more 2 - 3 hours at a time.

jglenn4 · September 2013

Mine did that too 2-3 different times since she started sleeping through the night. Each time the situation lasted about a week. Every time I thought I was going to have to try CIO or some other sleep method she fell back into a routine. Could this just be a temporary thing (e.g. a growth spurt)?

chance_encounters · September 2013

@jglenn4 this has been going on for a month now. At first I thought it was a growth spurt or teething. But now I just feel it is a bad habit. I am close to giving up but on the same note he is so much happier when he sttn. For others NO his grumpiness did not start with sleep training. He has actually been oddly happier this last week.

princessbmw · September 2013

Pick up/put down is not the Ferber method. You might want to read his book and try it according to his method, lengthening interval check ins. My 7 1/2 month old still wakes a couple times a night which is totally normal. He nurses every 3 hours or so during the day.

princessbmw · September 2013

Ferber also has a plan for eliminating night wakings.

Litgirl77 · September 2013

Like PP said, definitely read Ferber. The pick up/put down thing actually made things worse for our LO bc he would get so worked up.

I don't breastfeed, but I will say that the whole dreamfeed thing backfired for us. For some reason, giving our LO the extra feed actually made him wake more. I think Weissbluth (I highly recommend his book too - Healthy Sleep Habots, Happy Child) says something about it stimulating their digestive systems so they actually want more? Can't remember exactly, but I do know that dropping the dreamfeed helped our LO - we just let him wake naturally and he started going longer and longer until he STTN.

Good luck!

chance_encounters · September 2013

Ok the schedule above is approximate. If he is showing ques that he is getting tired earlier or later then we go with that. Just like how I am not going to force feed him if he is not hungry yet. I would say within 30 minutes that schedule is pretty accurate for him. The pick-up out down is part of the sleep whisperer. I will not just let him bawl! Sometimes rubbing his back and shushing him works and other times it does not and that is when I pick him up and calm him down, lay him back down and rub his back. You know what at this point I say f*ck it. I tried Ferber and it did not work. I switched to sleep whisperer and it did not work. I saw this video yesterday's and this is how I feel

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAtB2zSLly8 He will sleep through the night when he sleeps through the night. I am over it. I do not want my baby to cry anymore!

princessbmw · September 2013

When you do checks according to Ferber, you aren't trying to soothe her back to sleep. You are just letting her know you are still there ad she is not abandoned. My checks were literally 30 seconds. A little shush, pat on the back, tell her calmly that you love her and its is time to sleep. The goal is for them to learn how to fall asleep on their own.
I think the mixing of the sleep training theories is what's giving you problems.

spikeinc · September 2013

I agree with princess that mixing the sleep training theories is your issue. Saying that, you also seemed exhausted and stressed out with this process.

There is a place called Mom's on Call in Georgia that for a nice fee of course, come in and help you do the sleep training and help correct anything that you might be doing inadvertently incorrectly. I can't remember where you live, for some reason I think California but there should be a similar type of service there.

If you want to look into that, or see if they have a recommendation for a company near you, their website is https://momsoncall.com/0-6-month-babies/

I just looked at their website and they do also have a support hotline (also a charge) where you can ask specific questions to the nurses.

poppyc8 · September 2013

I agree with not having such a rigid schedule during the day. I followed our LOs lead and it ended up being the 123 schedule for naps and feeding more during the day so they are hungry less at nights. He is now down to one night waking to eat usually at 2 or 4 am. We feed our LO every 2 1/2 to 3 hours max during the day.

I would also try canceling the dream feed to see when your LO naturally wakes at night. If you wake and feed him its suggesting to him to eat at night and not as much during the day.

VPGIRL06 · September 2013

we actually did Ferber yesterday for the first time. at 6 months, LO has finally figured out that mommy and daddy leave-but come back when she cries. She was sick at first so that's what we thought the night wake ups and wanting to be rocked to sleep (I haven't rocked her to sleep in months) was about, but last night she had just been fed (hadn't finished her bottle), was clean, no fever, no stuffy or runny nose, no cough-she was fine. so we did the Ferber checks when we put her down, went in at 3 min, 5 min, and she was asleep before the 10 minute check. slept 12 hours, when she'd been waking up 3+ a night for the past week or so

so-yeah. Ferber worked for us but we also jumped on it fairly fast

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