AP GTKY (and intro)

Mrs.AmyDylan · August 2013

Hey ladies! I've been a bit rude and just jumped in without an intro. I'm MrsAmyDylan. We have a DD, J, who is almost 8mo. We had trouble getting pregnant and finally resorted to IVF to get our little girl. I didn't expect to AP, but I just find myself doing it naturally. I own my own business, which is in high gear in the summer. I'm very fortunate to have my parents watch J.

Even though it is probably dead on a Friday night, I'll throw out the gtky and you all can chime in whenever you feel lead.

How old is your child/children?

On a scale of 1-10 (10high) how supportive is your SO of AP?

What is your favorite baby carrier?

Did you naturally birth?

What is your Breastfeeding status?

Where does baby sleep?

Did your parents AP?

What is your biggest AP struggle?

What is your best AP advice?

Emerald27 · August 2013

Welcome!

Oooo...this is fun! We don't do GTKYs enough on this board!

How old is your child/children? 22 months

On a scale of 1-10 (10high) how supportive is your SO of AP? 9.9 lol

What is your favorite baby carrier? I like my ergo and my mei tai, but I crave a kinderpack.

Did you naturally birth? No. That was my plan, but I was induced, confined to bed from the very start, and put on a high dose of pitocin immediately. I regretted a lot about DS' birth but I've come to terms with it over time. Next time I am determined to have a better experience!

What is your Breastfeeding status? Nursing on demand all day long and occasionally during the night.

Where does baby sleep? Snuggled next to me in our bed.

Did your parents AP? No. My parenting is constantly criticized by my parents. It offends my mom that I do things differently.

What is your biggest AP struggle? Patience, and handling toddler tantrums/discipline well.

What is your best AP advice? Trust your body and your instincts.

Mrs.AmyDylan · August 2013

How old is your child/children?DD J is almost 8mo

On a scale of 1-10 (10high) how supportive is your SO of AP? 8 or 9. He mentions wanting J in her own room, but doesn't seem to care that she bed shares.

What is your favorite baby carrier?Probably the one my mom made and wore me in ages ago. She made it from a LLL pattern.

Did you naturally birth? Yes at a birthing center with a midwife. I was surprised that DH was able to get on board. A hospital birth was a hill he was prepared to die on until my OB had me all freaked out and had my in pregnant hysterics.

What is your Breastfeeding status? Boob! J started BLW about a month ago. We nurse to sleep. We MOTN nurse. We nurse on demand. I do pump and she takes a bottle when I'm working.

Where does baby sleep? She starts in the bassinet (soon crib) in our room, but moves to our bed with her first MOTN waking. She then dines at the all night boobie buffet while I sleep.

Did your parents AP?Yes! I was a cloth diapered, tandem breastfed, homeschooled kiddo. My brothers and I are all close and very close to my parents.

What is your biggest AP struggle? Finding time to workout. I'm a big workout/sports nut. I'm finding it hard to leave J on top of work. Right now I'm able to swim twice a week and do Pilates once and walk daily (with J). I'm restarting competitive tennis and my mom is going to watch J. I used to play tennis X3/week, lift with a trainer x2, ballet, swimx2, pilates.

What is your best AP advice?Find a group of AP friendly mommies. It helps you feel confident and not always on defense.

PumpkinAndThePeanut · August 2013

Hi, I've been mostly a lurker so I will intro myself too.

How old is your child/children? 4 month old (on Sunday) fraternal twin girls, E and V.

On a scale of 1-10 (10high) how supportive is your SO of AP? We're very much on the same page, which is great.

What is your favorite baby carrier? I did prefer my k'tan but have recently discovered the Moby is easier to nurse in because I can tie it a little looser and position the baby's mouth right at boob level. Looking forward to getting Ergos later.

Did you naturally birth? That was never an option with twins. My hospital would have required an epi as a precaution. As it was, I had a scheduled c-section as V (presenting baby) was breech.

What is your Breastfeeding status? It's been a long road and every day is a bit of a struggle (we don't tandem nurse as E's quite fussy) but I'm essentially EBFing now! However I go back to work in 3 weeks and am nervous about keeping up my supply while pumping during the workday.

Where does baby sleep?
E still sleeps in a RnP next to our bed (we'll soon be moving a crib into our room as she's outgrowing the RnP). V takes all naps and sleeps all night in our bed, snuggled up with me. She used to sleep in the RnP but won't anymore.

Did your parents AP? Not exactly, but my mom in particular has always treated me like my opinions matter, even when I was very young, and made sure I knew she was ALWAYS there for me, which in my opinion is mostly what AP is about.

What is your biggest AP struggle? Juggling twins. Sometimes someone just has to cry while I'm dealing with her sister.

What is your best AP advice? Do what feels right in your heart.

st.augbride · August 2013

How old is your child/children? Ds (2.5 yrs) and dd (almost 8 months--wow!)

On a scale of 1-10 (10high) how supportive is your SO of AP? 10

What is your favorite baby carrier? My new Tula! LOVE it : )

Did you naturally birth? Ds was an induced c/s due to complications and dd was a VBAC with an epidural which was MUCH appreciated!

What is your Breastfeeding status? I EPed for ds for 14 months (he couldn't latch) and am BFing dd and plan to for at least a year.

Where does baby sleep? Dd is in bed with me with an empty crib next to us, lol. I need to get her in there at some point...

Did your parents AP? No

What is your biggest AP struggle? Trying to get dd to sleep in the crib without any type of CIO and to have her be comfortable in daycare.

What is your best AP advice? Go with your gut!

blush64 · August 2013

How old is your child/children? My oldest son is 17.5, middle child is a son who is almost 15 and my daughter is almost 3 months

On a scale of 1-10 (10high) how supportive is your SO of AP? He just follows my lead. He is probably a 6, he is getting more supportive as baby A gets older. (It's his first)

What is your favorite baby carrier? I am not sure yet.

Did you naturally birth? I consider all my births natural. All were vaginal. One was med-free, one I had an epidural and my most recent I was induced because I was overdue and had issues preventing me from going further over. I also had an epidural with the induction.

What is your Breastfeeding status? I breastfed until they were about 2. (a bit longer) I exclusively breastfeed my daughter and plan to nurse until she is 1-2 depending on where life takes us.

Where does baby sleep? In my arms but soon enough in her PNP

Did your parents AP? They did some really odd mix of parenting but turned more toward AP as they got older. Everything recommended in The Happiest Baby on the Block my mother already taught us which was amazing. At the same time there were many issues with their parenting as I grew older.

What is your biggest AP struggle? My biggest parenting struggle is discipline.

What is your best AP advice? Trust yourself and forgive yourself

sraexx · August 2013

Mrs.AmyDylan said:

How old is your child/children?

23 months and I am 6 weeks pregnant

On a scale of 1-10 (10high) how supportive is your SO of AP?

10

What is your favorite baby carrier?

I didn't carry much but I liked the ring sling, hope to carry this time

Did you naturally birth?

I had the drip painkiller that helped calm me down and I think it gave me the push i needed to then be epi free

What is your Breastfeeding status?
almost 2 going strong

Where does baby sleep?
next to me

Did your parents AP?
no, not even close

What is your biggest AP struggle?
hard nights when she nurses non stop

What is your best AP advice? The hard nights aren't forever, you are doing good.

sraexx · August 2013

Sorry this looks crazy my phone is difficult.

musicalmama5 · August 2013

How old is your child/children? DS is almost 6 months.
On a scale of 1-10 (10high) how supportive is your SO of AP? 10!

What is your favorite baby carrier? Ergo

Did you naturally birth? Sort of. I was induced since DS was 2 weeks late, but I didn't have any pain meds.

What is your Breastfeeding status? EBF, about to start BLW

Where does baby sleep? Crib for naps, crib and our bed at night. We've had a bit of a saga in the bedsharing department. I've got a couple posts on this subject, and it's an ever-evolving beast.

Did your parents AP? I think they did some things that would be considered AP, but I don't think they labeled themselves that. My mom EBF'ed all 5 of us, and I'm pretty sure we were never left to CIO.

What is your biggest AP struggle? Second guessing myself because of all the noise you hear from everyone else.

What is your best AP advice? Let your kids teach you how to parent.

Pink724 · August 2013

I'm a lurker, too, but would love to chime in!

How old is your child/children?
One DD, 6 weeks old

On a scale of 1-10 (10high) how supportive is your SO of AP?
We are very much on the same page, which is wonderful!

What is your favorite baby carrier?
The Beco Gemini for long walks and trips into the city, and my ring sling for wearing around the house and quick errands and chores.

Did you naturally birth?
Yes! No pitocin or epidural. It was a huge goal for me and I was very proud to have done it.

What is your Breastfeeding status?
EBF. She loves the boobies.

Where does baby sleep?
In a RnP next to the bed at night and we usually bed share for naps (when she's not napping in her carrier).

Did your parents AP?
I wouldn't call it AP per se, but I definitely felt like all of my needs were met. My mom had natural births with my brother and me, and breastfed us both.

What is your biggest AP struggle?
I think it's too early to pinpoint one.

What is your best AP advice?
I'm not sure that I have any, but I greatly appreciate all of the wisdom from you ladies! Thank you!

erbear · August 2013

How old is your child/children? DD1 is 4.5; DD2 is 2.5

On a scale of 1-10 (10high) how supportive is your SO of AP? 10. He let me take the lead in most parenting things.

What is your favorite baby carrier? depends on the age of the baby. Maya Wrap now, but we don't baby wear much anymore since mine are old.

Did you naturally birth? sort of. DD1 was an induction, 36 hours of natural labor before they cranked up the pitocin and I asked for an epi. Natural labor with DD2 until a c-section became needed.

What is your Breastfeeding status? Breastfed both until they weaned at 18 and 22 months.

Where does baby sleep? both in beds now!

Did your parents AP? Kind of. I don't think they called it that in the 70s but my mom breastfed, baby wore, parented gently.

What is your biggest AP struggle? Don't have one. I don't give a crap what people think about how I parent, and friends and family have been supportive of my decisions.

What is your best AP advice? Do what works for your family. You don't have to label your parenting.

ObLaDi · August 2013

How old is your child/children? 7.5 months

On a scale of 1-10 (10high) how supportive is your SO of AP? 10. He's an amazing SAHD. He wishes Atticus would sleep in his crib so that I would sleep in our room, but I don't think it's really anti-AP that he misses me.

What is your favorite baby carrier? I loved the Moby for the NB period, and the Ergo now. They're also the only two I've ever tried, though.

Did you naturally birth? Hell to the no. I had a 43 hour long induction, and mercifully had an (at least partially functioning) epidural for 18 of those hours.

What is your Breastfeeding status? We BF around the clock, including every 1-2 hours all night long. I pump and he gets milk in a bottle when I'm at work.

Where does baby sleep? On a floor mattress in his room with me. We just bought a crib since he's getting super mobile, and will put him in it for naps and the beginning of the night. I can't really see sleeping separately until he's nursing less at night, though.

Did your parents AP? Yes, I was unschooled, which is pretty AP. My mom was also up with my every 90 minutes until I was 18 months old. I always thought she was exaggerating, but now that DS is following in my footsteps, I have a sinking feeling that maybe she wasn't!

What is your biggest AP struggle? The repeated doubt as to whether I should be sleep training, or that I'm doing DS a disservice by not teaching him to STTN.

What is your best AP advice? If you have the opportunity, read John Holt's book Growing Without Schooling. It's a huge part of my AP philosophy.

youenjoymyself · August 2013

How old is your child/children?
DD, almost 6 months

On a scale of 1-10 (10high) how supportive is your SO of AP? 9

What is your favorite baby carrier? Love the Ergo and ring sling

Did you naturally birth? That was the plan, but things went south quickly. She ended up being a csection baby. I was just happy she got here safely.

What is your Breastfeeding status? Still trucking along. I pump at work and feed on demand at home. She also gets some formula.

Where does baby sleep? Right between us.

Did your parents AP? I don't think so.

What is your biggest AP struggle? Making time for me.

What is your best AP advice? Don't succumb to societal pressures. It's your baby; do what feels right.

Cricket81 · August 2013

How old is your child/children?
1 little boy, 6 weeks old

On a scale of 1-10 (10high) how supportive is your SO of AP?
9-10 although he doesn't have any idea that it's what we are doing

What is your favorite baby carrier?
So far I have mostly just used the moby. I used the ergo with the insert a couple times, but it's been to warm for it.

Did you naturally birth?
Sadly, no. I was induced (at 41 weeks 6 days), had an epidural after 27 hours of contraction, then was in labor for 9 more hours. Ended up having a vacuum assisted delivery after 4 hours of pushing. LO wasn't breathing when he was born (stress from being stuck and cord wrapped around neck) so he was intibated and taken to the NICU. he was breathing on his own within 10 minutes, but it was really scary. However, after 5 days in the hospital, he came home with us and is perfectly healthy and wonderful.

What is your Breastfeeding status?
Exclusively breastfeeding with an occasional bottle of bm on long car trips and such.

Where does baby sleep?
In pack and play in our room. I had too many dreams of waking up and not knowing where the baby was to bed share.

Did your parents AP?
I really don't know. From what I remember from being little And watching them with my brother they seemed to be responsive.

What is your biggest AP struggle?
MIL who thinks its good for his lungs to cry now and then and that he should be on schedule by now.
What is your best AP advice?
I don't think I have any, I feel like I am still learning.

blu-eyedwife · August 2013

How old is your child/children? 22 months

On a scale of 1-10 (10high) how supportive is your SO of AP? He's a 9 on our AP parenting choices, but we're not 100% AP (for instance, my son was in a crib from day 1)

What is your favorite baby carrier? My Babyhawk

Did you naturally birth? nope. Induced.

What is your Breastfeeding status? Weaned last month

Where does baby sleep? His crib.

Did your parents AP? It wasn't called AP back then, but they followed some of the same tenants - I was breastfed, both parents wore us, rocked to sleep, no sleep training, my feelings were acknowledged, etc. However, I was colic-y and I know that caused a lot of issues for them and my brother had an infection shortly after coming home from the hospital which killed all his digestive enzymes so he was formula fed pre-digested formula.

What is your biggest AP struggle? None really - maybe outside opinion? I know DH got a lot of flack from coworkers about us not sleep training. They told him everyone has to do CIO eventually.

What is your best AP advice? Not AP specific, but a parenting philosophy which is AP and works for all is to do what works for you and not worry too much what others are doing.

PipSqueak0313 · August 2013

Mrs.AmyDylan said:

How old is your child/children? Dd is 21yo, ds1 is almost 17yo, and ds2 is 5.5 months

On a scale of 1-10 (10high) how supportive is your SO of AP? Xh was a 0 -- when my older 2 kids started acting their ages (when dd was 6-10) xh would comment that it was time to put the fear of daddy in them. The kids have had no contact with xh in the last 5 years and he has been in prison for child abuse for 4 of those years.

Ds2 is dh's first child and at least for now, he is following my lead on parenting.

What is your favorite baby carrier? I didn't trust the carriers I was exposed to when my older two were babies and this time I have an Ergo because a friend was given two and she gave one to me.

Did you naturally birth? I was induced with all three because my water broke and I didn't go into labor the 1st time, the 2nd time my water breaking caused all PTL to cease, and the 3rd time my body tried going into labor but just couldn't get the contractions to come more than 10 minutes apart.

I had IV pain meds with the Pitocin all three times because my body reacts strongly to Pitocin. (1st was 4 hours from first felt contraction to delivery, 2nd was 5-6 hours from start of induction to delivery, and they started the Pit when I was 4-5cm and I went to 10 in maybe 2 hours)

What is your Breastfeeding status? With lack of support for the first two I only was able to bf for 4-6 weeks. This time, I have made it 5.5 months and still going.

Where does baby sleep? Most nights I rock/nurse to sleep and then he sleeps in his crib from 8-10pm until 4-5am. For naps, where ever I can get him to sleep -- often on me multi-tasking (eating and sleeping at same time)

Did your parents AP? I have no clue what their parenting style would be called other than an eclectic mix. Some of it depended upon my mother's health as she has had many health problems over my lifetime.

What is your biggest AP struggle? Right now, trying to sort out how much of how I parented my older 2 was AP vs permissive as xh claimed. I parented my older 2 more on intuition than by any book

What is your best AP advice? Admit and apologize to your kids when you realize you screwed up.....and then forgive yourself.

spainy17 · August 2013

How old is your child/children? 7 months

How supportive is SO of AP? I would say 6. He doesn't really get some of it as his mom raised him about as opposite of AP as you can get but he lets me run with it.

Favorite Baby Carrier? I LOVE my Maya wrap and get asked about it wherever we go. It is truly awesome.

Naturally birth? Nope, I labored 36 hours and DD was horribly stuck and had an epi and a C-Section. We both would have died without modern medicine today. Thankful to have options.

Breastfeeding status? EBF on demand day or night, pump while at work.

Where does baby sleep? In her crib at night. She was a crappy latcher so I had to get up to BF her anyway so she has never bedshared.

Did you parents AP? I think so but it wasn't called that. Mom EBF and parents were so supportive and always included us in decisonmaking. We did not homeschool or bedshare though.

AP Struggle? The fine line between teaching baby to soothe herself and yet care for her emotionally.

AP advice? Baby wear. It is the best dang thing ever.

Marsee · August 2013

Mrs.AmyDylan said:

How old is your child/children? Just turned 2

On a scale of 1-10 (10high) how supportive is your SO of AP? He's normally at a 5, but once I explain why I'm doing what I'm doing, he becomes very supportive because he says it "makes sense". Then he's at a 9 or a 10.

What is your favorite baby carrier? I have a BabyHawk, a Sakura Bloom RS and an Ergo Performance. I love them all for different reasons; don't have a favorite.

Did you naturally birth? Tried to for 16 hours in a freestanding birth center using HypnoBirthing. Loved that part of the process. I could feel DS move down and then he would move right back up. I never felt the urge to push and after LOTS of trying, he just wouldn't budge. Found out that he was caught on my tailbone and only had a 10" cord. ended up with a semi-emergency CS in the nearest hospital

What is your Breastfeeding status? Still going! Woohoo!

Where does baby sleep? First was in cosleeper, then in bed with me then on futon on floor with me, now in crib for 80% of night and then shares twin mattress with me on floor when he wakes up.

Did your parents AP? I guess. It's hard to say; it's a mixed bag.

What is your biggest AP struggle? Thinking that I have to be there doing everything all the time. It's very hard for me to let go and give myself a break.

What is your best AP advice? I don't really have any. . . hmmm.

OkieMama · August 2013

Emerald27 said:
Welcome!

Oooo...this is fun! We don't do GTKYs enough on this board!

How old is your child/children? 22 months

On a scale of 1-10 (10high) how supportive is your SO of AP? 9.9 lol

What is your favorite baby carrier? I like my ergo and my mei tai, but I crave a kinderpack.

Did you naturally birth? No. That was my plan, but I was induced, confined to bed from the very start, and put on a high dose of pitocin immediately. I regretted a lot about DS' birth but I've come to terms with it over time. Next time I am determined to have a better experience!

What is your Breastfeeding status? Nursing on demand all day long and occasionally during the night.

Where does baby sleep? Snuggled next to me in our bed.

Did your parents AP? No. My parenting is constantly criticized by my parents. It offends my mom that I do things differently.

What is your biggest AP struggle? Patience, and handling toddler tantrums/discipline well.

What is your best AP advice? Trust your body and your instincts.

I feel like I could've written this word for word! Except my LO is 12 mo

Also, hi I'm new too!

ncbelle · August 2013

Howdy

How old is your child/children? 4.5 and almost 2.5

On a scale of 1-10 (10high) how supportive is your SO of AP? 10

What is your favorite baby carrier? woven wraps generally

Did you naturally birth? yup - twice!

What is your Breastfeeding status? youngest is almost done - once every other day or so

Where does baby sleep? both now sleep in their own room (they share)

Did your parents AP? not really

What is your biggest AP struggle? I guess I'd say transitioning to parenting older children

What is your best AP advice? trust your heart and instincts - they are usually spot on!

ForeverEverAfter · August 2013

ncbelle said:

How old is your child/children? 8 months

On a scale of 1-10 (10high) how supportive is your SO of AP? 8. He accepts what I do, but he keeps passing on advice from others to put her down and in her own bed.

What is your favorite baby carrier? Maya wrap or Chimparoo (SSC) depending on the situation.

Did you naturally birth? Mostly! I had my water broken, and had the gas when I panicked during transition. I had zero support during labour so I have come to terms with it, and will have a Doula next time.

What is your Breastfeeding status? EBF up to 6 months, now BF in addition to BLW

Where does baby sleep? Starts the night in her room, bed shares after first waking.

Did your parents AP? Not really, my mom CDed, BF and bed shared when nursing, but was pretty authoritarian once we were school age

What is your biggest AP struggle? Looking for child care. I have to use in home and Im so worried about finding someone who will respect my views. I have the first interview this week.

What is your best AP advice? trust instincts and babywear! Those things make life so much easier!

Meganequine · August 2013

How old is your child/children? 18 months

On a scale of 1-10 (10high) how supportive is your SO of AP? We are generally on the same page or we talk things out so I'll say 10. (Of the AP things we do.)

What is your favorite baby carrier? Probably my ergo because it's easy to use, but that's all I really used. Would like to try more options when #2 comes along and then maybe I'll have a new favorite.

Did you naturally birth? No, but I was happy with my birth. Induced progressed to a 10 and then cervix swelled and reverted back to a 8 Ended up with a C-section. Will be trying a VBAC with #2 and will try without meds but I'm not against an epidural. If baby is late we'll just schedule a RCS.

What is your Breastfeeding status? Combination of nursing and pumping until just past a year (which I consider EBF as he never had formula.) Nursing never came easily or was magical for us or I might have done the before bed session longer. Will BF #2 at least a year.

Where does baby sleep? In his crib most of the time in his room. If he wakes in the middle of the night he does join us in bed, but we didn't start that until almost a year when we got a king size bed and felt like he could "fight back" if we get in his space.

Did your parents AP? Not with that label, but they were very responsive and respectful. DH's parents definitely not.

What is your biggest AP struggle? Getting enough sleep.

What is your best AP advice? Do what feels right to you. You don't have to do everything AP to be AP (maybe that's an opinion)

mb314 · August 2013

How old is your child/children? 11.5 Months

On a scale of 1-10 (10high) how supportive is your SO of AP? hmm. 7? I think ifI called what we do AP, he would be a 2, but he follows my lead with DS

What is ywit follfavorite baby carrier? Ergo. DS loved the Moby until 4 Months, and now we use the ergo

Did you naturally birth? Yep.

What is your Breastfeeding status? still doing it but will begin to reduce workday pumping sessions soon. I cannot wait to ditch the pump but will prob BF mornings and nights for a while.

Where does baby sleep? He starts the night in his crib in his room. But he ends up in our room. Usually he is in our bed, but I have been trying more lately to put him in the pack n play in our room. He still wakes 3 To 4 times a night, so it is usually a combo of all 3.

Did your parents AP? Um, no. Def not.

What is your biggest AP struggle? the sleep training (or lack thereof) and debating with DH over it.

What is your best AP advice? It is not a game of who is more AP. just follow your instincts and gut. Find what works for your family

KateLouise · August 2013

How old is your child/children? 3 1/2yrs and 18mths

On a scale of 1-10 (10high) how supportive is your SO of AP? 9

What is your favorite baby carrier? Woven wraps. Specifically Girasol and some didymos

Did you naturally birth? Yes. Both times.

What is your Breastfeeding status? Currently BF 18mth old

Where does baby sleep? Just moved to her own bed, but she wakes once at night, and either gets in our bed, or I go to her bed.

Did your parents AP? Not in terms of feeding and sleep routines, although Mum BF us. In terms of snuggles and physical contact, and generally respecting us.

What is your biggest AP struggle? When I'm really tired and have friends whose babies who STTN, and who did CIO.

What is your best AP advice? There is no "right" way. Do what feels right for your family.

opheliainwaders · August 2013

Hi there!
How old is your child/children? DD will be 12 weeks on Thursday (woah!)

On a scale of 1-10 (10high) how supportive is your SO of AP? I'd say a 7? He follows my lead, but is becoming quite the baby wearer. He also likes science and evidence, so is becoming an advocate for breastfeeding, no CIO, etc.

What is your favorite baby carrier? I like my Ergo a lot (I'm tall!), but at the moment, our wrap is the greatest.

Did you naturally birth? I did! I wound up asking for an epidural because I didn't know I was in transition (long story short, there was a shortage of nurses/beds in the hospital, so we were on our own while I was laborig), but by the time they found the anesthesiologist, I was ready to push. I'll definitely go drug-free next time.

What is your Breastfeeding status? EBF since 2.5 weeks (DD was a preemie with bad jaundice, so we did have to supplement at the start).

Where does baby sleep? In her crib or bassinet. None of us seems to like bed-sharing!

Did your parents AP? She didn't call it that, but the more I talk to my mom, te more I realize that she did.

What is your biggest AP struggle? Explaining our refusal to sleep-train.

What is your best AP advice? I'm new at this, but...go with your gut!

NoeK · August 2013

How old is your child/children? 11, 7 and 6 months

On a scale of 1-10 (10high) how supportive is your SO of AP? 10- He is a serious AP advocate

What is your favorite baby carrier? Oddly enough, LO Moby the most, he hates the Ergo and the Infantino

Did you naturally birth? With my first two yes in a BC, with the last one although he was a VB I was to stresses to dilate properly and ended up getting an epidural 29 hours in

What is your Breastfeeding status? I BF when I am home and pump for DH to feed him when I am at work

Where does baby sleep? In bed with us

Did your parents AP? Sort Of. I wasn't BF but we did co-sleep and my my was a SAHM so it was all about me and my sister

What is your biggest AP struggle? Negative opinions from other people

What is your best AP advice? Don't give up!

jane8188 · August 2013

Joining in, this seems like a good chance for an intro!

How old is your child/children? My son is almost 6 months

On a scale of 1-10 (10high) how supportive is your SO of AP? 9.5, although he's doesn't know the term AP. We are very much on the same page.

What is your favorite baby carrier? The one I use those most right now is my beco, but there a a few I'm lusting after right now. Maybe once he gets bigger I can get one!

Did you naturally birth? Yes, I feel very blessed that I didn't have any complications and I was able to stick to my plan.

What is your Breastfeeding status? EBF

Where does baby sleep? His crib is sidecarred to my side of the bed, so he starts out is his crib and the comes into bed with us at his first waking.

Did your parents AP? I was EBF, but that's it, everything else was pretty much the total opposite. My husbands parents kind of did though.

What is your biggest AP struggle? Hearing negative comments from family mainly. My mom tells people that I spoil him by holding him too much, and she's been asking me since he was 2 months old if I've let him cry to sleep yet.

What is your best AP advice? Don't let what other people say make you second guess yourself.

ReeceFamily · August 2013

How old is your child/children? 7 months-ish

On a scale of 1-10 (10high) how supportive is your SO of AP? He's about an 8. Never complains about bedsharing, is a little paranoid about BLW, but he's coming around. I'm predicting some clashes in discipline philosophies down the line, but I just bought him the audio of Positive Discipline, so hopefully he'll be on board as DD gets older.

What is your favorite baby carrier? I used a hotsling when DD was smaller (meh) and now I have an Ergo. It's fine, but then again I haven't tried any others.

Did you naturally birth? I didn't do a lot of labor prep outside of reading and hiring a doula. I did about 17 hours of unmedicated labor, but DD was sunny side up and getting stuck, which was slowing labor. So I had a epi at about 7 cm, and it went to hell in a handbasket from there, but I did manage to have a vaginal birth at the very least. We are one and done, otherwise I might try natural next time.

What is your Breastfeeding status? Combo of BF, pumping, and supplementation with FF (for daycare). My goal before giving birth (and not knowing much about how it would go) was to BF for 6 months, but I'm loving it, so I'll continue to BF (with supplementation) for as long as it makes sense.

Where does baby sleep? In a cosleeper (10% of the time) and with us in bed (90% of the time).

Did your parents AP? Nope. I'm sure they had no idea what it was. I had a very traditional upbringing.

What is your biggest AP struggle? Not being able to do everything that I might like to. Both DH and I need to work full time for various reasons, but I wish I could go to part time to spend more time with DD and to homeschool when the time comes. We'll see.

What is your best AP advice? I don't feel like I'm qualified to give AP advice, since I am an accidental AP-er! I'm just here to absorb wisdom .

TristansMommy6357 · August 2013

Hi

I'm a ftm. My son is 2 months old.

My SO is a 9.5. He's a little uncomfortable with bed sharing and I haven't talked about BLW, but we generally agree on almost everything relating to our son.

I love my K'tan. I have an ergo and moby but DS loves the K'tan and it's the easiest to use.

I wanted to have a natural birth but ended up with an emergency c section... without pain meds...

. It was pretty crazy and we almost lost him!

I EBF but am pumping for when I go back to work. And I just found out a few days ago that I produce excess lipase... So that complicates things

My son sleeps with me in the bed

he loves it and it feels so natural to me. I have researched how to do it safely and I couldn't imagine him anywhere else.

My parents didn't AP. I didn't even know what it was till I had my son.

I haven't had too many AP struggles yet. One minor thing is that I live in southern california and it gets hot when I babywear on my walks and I'm worried about LO getting too much sun.

My advice is to do what feels natural and listen to your mommy instincts

ReeceFamily · August 2013

TristansMommy6357 said:

One minor thing is that I live in southern california and it gets hot when I babywear on my walks and I'm worried about LO getting too much sun.

I'm in Sacramento, totally agree on this one. I thought DD was going to suffocate in the Moby we tried!

Jenny952 · August 2013

How old is your child/children? My DD is 21 months.

On a scale of 1-10 (10high) how supportive is your SO of AP? He's about a 9. We aren't full AP, but more ap-light and he's almost all the way supportive of what we do.

What is your favorite baby carrier? I had a moby when DD was little and then I got a boba at the beginning of the year. I loved the moby because there is nothing better than a snuggly infant.

Did you naturally birth? No. I had a planned c-section because DD had a birth condition that made it risky for her to do a natural birth. That was a real sad time for me but I know it's what was best for her. If we have #2 I will do everything I can do do VBAC.

What is your Breastfeeding status? Still bf but starting to wean. DD is 21 months and isn't as interested in it as much and I can tell that she's not drinking much anymore too.

Where does baby sleep? She starts out in her crib, but a lot of nights she ends up in bed with me. I like giving her space, and having my room to DH and I to watch tv, or read, or talk in bed at the end of the day. It's one of the reasons I consider us ap-light.

Did your parents AP? Not at all, though I can't see how they could have done it. They had 4 under 4(!!!), so they formula-fed, CIO, no babywearing, etc. Even so, my parents, especially my mom, have been very supportive of us, and she's been really interested in learning about it.

What is your biggest AP struggle? I think it's just being confident in our decisions, like extended bf and babywearing. Not a lot of our friends or family are following a similar parenting style and our parents aren't familiar with it, so I don't really have many people IRL to talk about this kind of stuff with.

What is your best AP advice? Do what feels natural and following your instincts. It did not feel right to let DD cry in her crib. It felt right to hold her and rock her to sleep and nurse whenever she wanted.

eroplane · August 2013

How old is your child/children?

18 weeks

On a scale of 1-10 (10high) how supportive is your SO of AP?

7

What is your favorite baby carrier?

So far the boba 3G but I haven't really tried many others??

Did you naturally birth?

I had an epidural. It was wonderful.

What is your Breastfeeding status?

EBF at home. Pumping at work.

Where does baby sleep?

Crib then bed with me. Lots of dream feeds.

Did your parents AP?

In a way yes.

What is your biggest AP struggle?

Peer pressure and lack of support.

What is your best AP advice?

Do what is best for you and your family. Screw everyone else!!

kcisthebombdotcom · August 2013

Kids are 3.5 and 2.5
My dh is a 10. He's very supportive--if I ever get snippy with the kids when I'm frustrated he tends to lecture ME on ap. lol.
I love the ergo...still using it with my 2.5 yo.
I had csections.
Not bf.
My youngest mostly sleeps with me but spends a night here and there in her own bed. My oldest sleeps in his own bed.
My parents did not ap--quite the opposite.
I really don't feel anything has been a struggle. If it is, it isn't working for our family and we don't do it. Most of ap for me seems like the easier, natural way so it isn't a challenge.
Best advice is do what feels right for you and your child.

Learntoswim18 · August 2013

How old is your child? 2.5 weeks

On a scale of 1-10 (10high) how supportive is your SO of AP? 9.5 - he's very supportive of my parenting decisions and it all makes sense to him too

What is your favorite baby carrier? Ergo & Ring Sling

Did you naturally birth? Yes - a natural hospital birth. It was very intense and couldn't have done it without the support of my husband & doula.

What is your Breastfeeding status? Exclusively breastfeeding with a goal of at least 1 year.

Where does baby sleep? Sidecar Crib

Did your parents AP? Don't think so

What is your biggest AP struggle? Accepting that it's ok that I do things differently than most people around me.

What is your best AP advice? Research, ask for advice, look to others for their experiences but always follow your instincts.

JJ_13 · August 2013

How old is your child/children?
8.5 months

On a scale of 1-10 (10high) how supportive is your SO of AP?
DH is around a 9 in terms of being supportive of MY approach to AP. That said, I am by no means a total AP'er - I think I would be classified as "AP" according to some and not to others. I try to avoid labels in general, but I am on this board a lot so figured I'd respond.

What is your favorite baby carrier?

My Beco Gemini, although now that it's warmer, I'm using my Ergo (and the stroller) more.
Did you naturally birth?
Kind of. I was induced (Pitocin) but no epidural. It was insane, but I'm proud of myself for doing it.

What is your Breastfeeding status?
EBF, plus introduced solids at 6 months. I pump at work and feed from breast when I'm around LO.

Where does baby sleep?

In her crib, in her room. We room-shared until she was 6 months and then found that everyone got better sleep if she was in her own space.
Did your parents AP?

I think they AP'ed us as babies (wearing, EBF, co-sleeping, responsive, etc) but as we got older, my parents got extremely strict, inaccessible and more authoritarian, so no, overall, they did not.
What is your biggest AP struggle?
Shutting out the noise (on both sides of the debates!) ,avoiding labels, and knowing that I've done my research and am confident in the decisions we're making for our family.

What is your best AP advice?
Try not to put too much pressure on yourself. It's a balancing act of striving to be the best mother possible and caring for your LO (and whole family) in a gentle, conscious manner, while not needing to be a martyr. Educate yourself, think, and then be confident in the decisions you make.

MelissaRae1525 · August 2013

Hello! I've never posted here before but I find myself agreeing with a lot of AP theories as my son Jacob gets older.

How old is your child/children? Jacob is 7.5 months old

On a scale of 1-10 (10high) how supportive is your SO of AP? He agrees with a lot, we're semi-bed sharing and doing BLW and have agreed on extended BFing but often says Jacob will have to learn to sleep in his crib and cry himself to sleep (which I'm not doing).

What is your favorite baby carrier? I never used one really, I had a ring sling but he was on the large side and never really fit well.

Did you naturally birth? I abhor this phrase because I had a c/s. I had a baby come out of my uterus, so yes, I gave birth naturally. I did not have an unmedicated birth, though.

What is your Breastfeeding status? BFing full time, some BLW solids.

Where does baby sleep? He starts the night out in his crib but usually ends up in our bed after nursing around 3-4 am. This is new though, for the first 7 months he was in our bed full time. He just moves around too much and often kicks me in the bladder

Did your parents AP? Kind of.

What is your biggest AP struggle? Patience in understanding his needs and remembering his developmental abilities

What is your best AP advice? I don't think I have much, other than do what feels right to you and your baby, and don't let anyone make you feel bad about your choices.

It's nice to "meet" you ladies and I look forward to posting here!

jafiorino · September 2013

How old is your child/children? 5 months

On a scale of 1-10 (10high) how supportive is your SO of AP? 8; he is down for most of it, butt I think he was a little shocked when we moved the crib into our room yesterday. When she was born was planning to transition her to our room a 6 months.... that is definitely not happening.

What is your favorite baby carrier? I loved the moby so much for the newborn phase.. Now she seems to prefer my pikkolo.

Did you naturally birth? No, I was induced.

What is your Breastfeeding status? EBF, and starting BLW in 3 weeks.

Where does baby sleep? Starts the night in bassinet next to my bedside, ends the night in bed with us!

Did your parents AP? Nope.

What is your biggest AP struggle? Defending myself to people questioning my parenting decisions. Well it isn't really a struggle, I just get annoyed that I have to explain myself to people who are not DD's parents!!!!

What is your best AP advice? I just naturally fell into AP by following my heart. I then realized everything I was doing (EBF on demand, babywearing, co-sleeping) was actually a thing! So my advice would be to follow your heart, it knows what is best for you and baby.

URMySunshine77 · September 2013

How old is your child? seven months

On a scale of 1-10 (10high) how supportive is your SO of AP? 7

We have never talked about parenting techniques or the concept of AP. His natural inclination is not AP, as he is old school. He wanted to try CIO, but I held out because it just didn't feel right. However, he was/is a huge advocate of BFing.

What is your favorite baby carrier? Ergo

Did you naturally birth? No. I chose an epidural.

What is your Breastfeeding status? I EBF. Things have been going well, but I recently noticed that one breast is oddly bigger than the other.

Where does baby sleep? In his crib. I don't think that I can sleep with him because I have night terrors where I wake up looking through all of my blankets to find him. I dream that he is smothered.

Did your parents AP? No. I was raised in an authoritarian household where adults are always right. I lived in fear of upsetting adults. My feelings always came second, and I'm determined to give my son more confidence and self worth through AP.

What is your biggest AP struggle? I work from home, so I sometimes need to check e-mails or contact students and faculty during the day while I spend time with DS. However, I always feel horribly guilty for not doing an activity 100% of the time with him, even if he is occupied while I work in these snippets.

What is your best AP advice? I would have to agree with the advice to follow your heart. I didn't know about the AP approach until I started reading about Sears vs Ferber. Then I realized that AP was my natural style.

CLLDLL · September 2013

How old is your child/children? 7 almost 8 yo DS1, 11 month old DS2

On a scale of 1-10 (10high) how supportive is your SO of AP? I would say an 8. He kind of hates bedsharing/co-sleeping past 6 months because it cuts down on "sexy" time, but otherwise I think he loves it as much as me.

What is your favorite baby carrier?So far I'm loving our Beco Gemini, but I really want to try a Maya wrap should we be lucky enough o have another LO. I think it'd be better for BF'ing than the Beco was.

Did you naturally birth? For DS1 I had a hospital birth with an epidural after laboring for a short while on my own with Pitocin going. I was determined to do things differently with DS2, and we did. Labored at home as long as I could. NB friendly hospital. No meds. Hep lock only. No tests/vax/antibiotics etc. (besides agpar) for baby during the first 24 hours.

What is your Breastfeeding status? 11+ months with DS2. Plan to wean from the pump at work starting Oct. 1st. Will continue to BF morning and nights until DS2 self-weans. If he makes it to 18 months w/out self-weaning I may give him a gentle nudge around that time if my cycles haven't returned since that is when we want to start TTC baby #3.

Where does baby sleep? In our room. He was in a PNP, but we're transitioning to a mattress on the floor at the suggestion of one of you great AP moms!

Did your parents AP?Sort of. She didn't call it AP, but she never sleep trained and did what she could to meet our needs. She co-slept/bed-shared, BF'ed, gave us natural foods, and pretty much was an awesome mommy.

What is your biggest AP struggle? Figuring out what works for each baby. DS1's needs were soooo different from DS2's.

What is your best AP advice? Relax and go with the flow. Follow baby's cues rather than trying to force something on them. Figure out how to fit baby into your life rather than completely uprooting your life/family for baby.

pixieprincss · September 2013

How old is your child/children? 13 months and 2.5 years

On a scale of 1-10 (10high) how supportive is your SO of AP? 10

What is your favorite baby carrier? Woven wraps. My two favorites are Girasol Amitola and Firefische

Did you naturally birth? DS1: using Bradley methods and with the help of our doulas, I got through over 50 hours of labor unmedicated. I got an epi for the last bit which helped me retain a vaginal birth despite a hostile doctor and an extremely difficult labor, DS2: yes--awesome CPM birth

What is your Breastfeeding status? DS1- 18 mo, DS2- 13 mo and going strong

Where does baby sleep? Boys start in floor beds in their own room then come in with us as desired in the night (DS2 nurses every 2-3 hours at night, so he's with us soon after I get in bed)

Did your parents AP? No.

What is your biggest AP struggle? Getting two little ones down for naps since they have different timelines and needs . It worked well enough for awhile, but at their current ages and stages it is just hard.

What is your best AP advice? Follow your intuition. The more you use it, the stronger it gets. Seek out link-minded support, but don't force yourself into an AP bubble. Don't neglect the "Baby B" of balance. Self-care and marital care makes for happier parents which trickles down to the kids long-term.

Princessmama18 · September 2013

Mrs.AmyDylan said:

How old is your child? Will be 2 in a few days

On a scale of 1-10 (10high) how supportive is your SO of AP? We are on the same page.

What is your favorite baby carrier? Ergo

Did you naturally birth? No, via C-section

What is your Breastfeeding status? Never breastfed due to my medication

Where does baby sleep? His own bed in his own room....but having some challenges now...

Did your parents AP? My mom breastfed me, we co-slept for a long time, she devoted her life raising me....so I hope I will be a good mom to my babies as she was with me. Dad was more on the side, passive I believe.

What is your biggest AP struggle? Gentle parenting toddler.

What is your best AP advice?Go with your gut, but also be open to other suggestions...you never know who can surprise you with an advice that will suite you and your family.

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