"The whole point of these message boards are for a means of support and an outlet for us..."
@picklesforbreakfast : no it's not. It's strictly for entertainment. If you give support and participate then you may (and usually do) get support back. You don't get it just for signing up.
Re: GRP : I don't do them myself, personally. We just announce at family dinner or by phone/Skype/FaceTime. I think they are a little bit attention whorish, but whatever. I'd attend one for fun, to eat cupcakes and drink punch.
Re: 2nd showers etc. : I have attended some but generally it's not done in my social circle. Traditional etiquette and manners are a big deal. I have been to some Sip n' See's and those are lovely. I fail to see how different sexes, or throwing out old baby items entitles or makes it permissible to throw another shower.
A) sex specific items don't really matter. Poop, and vomit don't discriminate. If you want to buy blue for your boy and you had a girl the first time then it's up to you to foot the bill.
It's no one's fault you threw your baby's items away. Buy new things on your own.
Basically, you chose to have the subsequent kids so pony up the dough and provide for them.
Perfectly put. Some people are just overly opinionated about other women's lives. Sometimes there is constructive insight, but when people jump on the bullying bandwagon I start to understand where kids get it. Thankfully most of us have compassion and maturity
I understand the whole "transition" thing, but personally I feel that mothers should be able to have a shower for each child. There doesn't have to be extensive gift giving! It should be a celebration of the new baby. You can make it a "shower" of some small object... Socks, books, hugs, whatever. It's not about the money. Have fun with whatever you choose
This is wrong on so many levels! First, like others have pointed out a shower is to shower the new mother to be with gifts and welcome her to motherhood. It is not your family and friends responsibility to throw you a shower for each one of your children, giving you gifts.
Secondly, having additional showers that revolve what you call a "small object" - First off, you should never tell guests what to bring to a shower. Aka, no bring a book instead of card or bring a pack of diapers with you too! Also, how many pairs of socks does a new mom need? And if I got a shower invite saying it was about giving hugs I would be completely weird-ed out and wouldn't attend.
I am totally amazed by the people who think they should be showered for every child they decide to have.
I'm going to share my full opinion since that's what the OP is asking:
First of all, to those of you getting butthurt - Stop it. It's the internet. It's really not that serious. Take a break from your computer for a while.
As for gender reveal parties: I have attended a few, and I actually really enjoyed all of them. I was a little skeptical about the first one, but once I went and spoke to my friend that was throwing the party, I understood what she was doing. She didn't expect/want gifts - she just wanted her friends and family to get together so that she and her DH could announce their pregnancy, celebrate with people they love, and share a special moment with those people.
That being said, I can see where someone would thing that gender reveal parties are AWish. If you choose to throw one (and no one is saying that you can't - ultimately you're going to do what you want to do), just be aware that some people may be unfamiliar/uncomfortable with the idea. Be specific in your invitations about no gifts. All three of my friends were. People brought gifts, yes, but that was entirely on them. They, in no way, shape, or form, were obligated to gift. That is a decision that they made and were not expected to do.
Showers/sprinkles: Since so many of you don't seem to understand the purpose of showers/sprinkles, the purpose is to "shower" or "sprinkle" the mother-to-be with gifts. These events imply that each guest is to bring some form of gift. It's expect really. I think that there are three types(?) of second or more showers, so I'm going to lay them all out here and what my response would be to each. 1. A shower/sprinkle hosted by the second + time mom: There is no way that I would attend one of these. Ever. To me, the attitude of entitlement in this situation is overwhelming. I have been invited to these and have gone to two. Never again. Both times, the mothers were obviously disappointed that people didn't give them the big, expensive gifts that they were expecting. I, as a friend or family member, should not be expected to buy you things just because you chose to reproduce. Both of those experiences were incredibly awkward and were just tacky period. I've been invited to others, and have been asked to host others by the mothers-to-be and have turned both down. 2. A shower/sprinkle thrown by someone in your social group: I'm iffy about these, too. However, I'm not in your social group, so I don't really care what you do. My church, like a PP, will throw showers or sprinkles for second time moms if the baby is a different sex/gender/IDGAF. Depending on the circumstances, like if it's been 5+ years since the parents have had children, I would consider going, but I would probably get something small. I still think at that point, it's the responsibility of the parents to provide what they need. Just because your second, third, ninth, child isn't the same sex/gender/I(still)DGAF as your previous child/ren doesn't mean that I, or anyone else, should be required to buy you stuff. 3. Moms that have children 10 or more years apart: I'll use an example from my family for this one. My cousin, who was a teen mom, has gotten her life together and is TTC with her fiance. Her son is 10 or 11 (I can't remember). I doubt she has all of her baby stuff that she had for him. I would go to a shower for her, however, I would get something small or go in with another person on a larger gift like a travel system or something. I would, though, expect her to provide the bulk of her needs.
Here's the gist - do what you want to do. Just understand that if you invite people to these events, they may not have the same opinion that you do and can choose not to attend. It's not something to be taken personally. It is what it is - to each their own. Just be respectful of your guests, and keep it classy.
"Wrong on so many levels"? A little extreme. But thanks for taking the time to edit my post and comment on every word. You care a lot! Sounds like no one would want to come to your shower. You sound horrible to be around. Good luck with that!
Y'all are a bunch of negative Nancys that remind me of people arguing politics. Everyone thinks their opinion is right and everyone else is wrong. This is a time to be happy and excited, not a time to try and bash/bring others down. These are pepole's opinions. Yes, they may not be the same as yours, but what gives you the right to attack them for it? Give your two cents and move on. Grow up, be nice to each other. This is supposed to be the best time of your lives. Peace, love and healthy babies!!!
Y'all are a bunch of negative Nancys that remind me of people arguing politics. Everyone thinks their opinion is right and everyone else is wrong. This is a time to be happy and excited, not a time to try and bash/bring others down. These are pepole's opinions. Yes, they may not be the same as yours, but what gives you the right to attack them for it? Give your two cents and move on. Grow up, be nice to each other. This is supposed to be the best time of your lives. Peace, love and healthy babies!!!
I think Gender reveal parties are a cute idea. Especially if it's your first. I'm planning on having one at my house. Nothing crazy tho. Just a few friends and family. I think it's more exciting than just saying "Oh, we're having a girl/boy." My husband thinks it's a little much tho. But then, every cute idea I have for telling our parents and family he shoots down too. He says we "have to take this serious," while I want to have a little fun with it. It's not something you get to do everyday.
@Mariposa1616
Perfectly put. Some people are just overly opinionated about other women's lives. Sometimes there is constructive insight, but when people jump on the bullying bandwagon I start to understand where kids get it. Thankfully most of us have compassion and maturity
Wow. You don't know the definition of bullying, it seems. It does not mean "being disagreed with" or even "being disagreed with strongly." Then, I can't believe that you went so low as to call an entire message board of women trying to explain the problems with a self-centered culture as immature, lacking compassion, and raising the next generation of bullies. That is lower and full of more cowardice than any strong disagreement between adults.
OP- Since you came on here and asked for opinions, I will give you mine. I think gender reveal parties for people I care about are cute. But I have to be one of your close family members or best girlfriends.
Second or subsequent showers are downright frowned upon and gross in my circle and I wouldn't be caught dead accepting one. Showers, as everyone has said, are to shower the new mom into motherhood.
Why does everything always have to turn into an argument?! I find the rudeness and personal stabs disgusting... Especially over something as trivial as a gender reveal or a baby shower! We have birthday parties year after year, yet no one has any issues with that?? I find it ridiculous that people are judging others based on the way that their group of family and friends treat different situations. I would think this website is somewhere to share knowledge, emotions, and day to day experiences of being a pregnant woman, not to bash each other, regardless of what side you are on.
Mommy to Maveric Von 10-28-2005
Wife to John 08-17-2013
Mommy Round 2 to Baby H as of 08-26-2013 (date of positive test )
My sister is throwing us a gender reveal party. and this is our 2nd. She put in the invitation. "If you would like to help out the growing family. The family loves Target gift cards for anything they may need. As well if you bring a pack of Pampers diapers you will be entered into a raffle"
I think it's perfectly fine. Especially since it says "if you want to help the growing family... "
I think gender reveals are a great way to celebrate and have fun with it all... being a 2nd and not having a shower...
My sister is throwing us a gender reveal party. and this is our 2nd. She put in the invitation. "If you would like to help out the growing family. The family loves Target gift cards for anything they may need. As well if you bring a pack of Pampers diapers you will be entered into a raffle"
I think it's perfectly fine. Especially since it says "if you want to help the growing family... "
I think gender reveals are a great way to celebrate and have fun with it all... being a 2nd and not having a shower...
Isn't it the same thing? Asking for gifts..still sounds like a shower to me. To each their own.
Married: 5/09 ~ TTC Since: 10/10 ~ PCOS ~ Progesterone from 10/10 - 2/11 ~ HSG on 3/18 - Clear ~ Started Metformin 1000mg & Clomid 50mg 2/11 ~ Metformin upped to 1500mg 4/6 ~ 6/7 Now going to SG and put on Clomid, Ovidrel, Gonal F, Prometrium, Estrace ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP!!!!!! March 6th our little man was born.
6/17/13 - Ovidrel, Follistim, Prometrium ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP! March 17th our St. Pattys day baby arrived
10/29/17 - Started process for IVF, got pregnant & miscarried a 2nd time since summer. 2/22 started stims - Menopur, Gonal F, Cetrotide - retrieval 3/6 - , PIO, estrace 3xday - FET 4/18 = Beta 1: 616; Beta 2: 1342 = BFP
Re: Gender Reveal Parties
"The whole point of these message boards are for a means of support and an outlet for us..."
@picklesforbreakfast : no it's not. It's strictly for entertainment. If you give support and participate then you may (and usually do) get support back. You don't get it just for signing up.
Re: GRP : I don't do them myself, personally. We just announce at family dinner or by phone/Skype/FaceTime. I think they are a little bit attention whorish, but whatever. I'd attend one for fun, to eat cupcakes and drink punch.
Re: 2nd showers etc. : I have attended some but generally it's not done in my social circle. Traditional etiquette and manners are a big deal. I have been to some Sip n' See's and those are lovely. I fail to see how different sexes, or throwing out old baby items entitles or makes it permissible to throw another shower.
A) sex specific items don't really matter. Poop, and vomit don't discriminate. If you want to buy blue for your boy and you had a girl the first time then it's up to you to foot the bill.
Basically, you chose to have the subsequent kids so pony up the dough and provide for them.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
Perfectly put. Some people are just overly opinionated about other women's lives. Sometimes there is constructive insight, but when people jump on the bullying bandwagon I start to understand where kids get it. Thankfully most of us have compassion and maturity
Married: August 2012
DD: 9/22/2014
EDD: 03/01/13; DD: 10/26/13
Mourning the loss of Amarine Stella, born at 21 weeks, 6 days.
We will always love you, our little angel.
First of all, to those of you getting butthurt - Stop it. It's the internet. It's really not that serious. Take a break from your computer for a while.
As for gender reveal parties: I have attended a few, and I actually really enjoyed all of them. I was a little skeptical about the first one, but once I went and spoke to my friend that was throwing the party, I understood what she was doing. She didn't expect/want gifts - she just wanted her friends and family to get together so that she and her DH could announce their pregnancy, celebrate with people they love, and share a special moment with those people.
That being said, I can see where someone would thing that gender reveal parties are AWish. If you choose to throw one (and no one is saying that you can't - ultimately you're going to do what you want to do), just be aware that some people may be unfamiliar/uncomfortable with the idea. Be specific in your invitations about no gifts. All three of my friends were. People brought gifts, yes, but that was entirely on them. They, in no way, shape, or form, were obligated to gift. That is a decision that they made and were not expected to do.
Showers/sprinkles: Since so many of you don't seem to understand the purpose of showers/sprinkles, the purpose is to "shower" or "sprinkle" the mother-to-be with gifts. These events imply that each guest is to bring some form of gift. It's expect really. I think that there are three types(?) of second or more showers, so I'm going to lay them all out here and what my response would be to each.
1. A shower/sprinkle hosted by the second + time mom: There is no way that I would attend one of these. Ever. To me, the attitude of entitlement in this situation is overwhelming. I have been invited to these and have gone to two. Never again. Both times, the mothers were obviously disappointed that people didn't give them the big, expensive gifts that they were expecting. I, as a friend or family member, should not be expected to buy you things just because you chose to reproduce. Both of those experiences were incredibly awkward and were just tacky period. I've been invited to others, and have been asked to host others by the mothers-to-be and have turned both down.
2. A shower/sprinkle thrown by someone in your social group: I'm iffy about these, too. However, I'm not in your social group, so I don't really care what you do. My church, like a PP, will throw showers or sprinkles for second time moms if the baby is a different sex/gender/IDGAF. Depending on the circumstances, like if it's been 5+ years since the parents have had children, I would consider going, but I would probably get something small. I still think at that point, it's the responsibility of the parents to provide what they need. Just because your second, third, ninth, child isn't the same sex/gender/I(still)DGAF as your previous child/ren doesn't mean that I, or anyone else, should be required to buy you stuff.
3. Moms that have children 10 or more years apart: I'll use an example from my family for this one. My cousin, who was a teen mom, has gotten her life together and is TTC with her fiance. Her son is 10 or 11 (I can't remember). I doubt she has all of her baby stuff that she had for him. I would go to a shower for her, however, I would get something small or go in with another person on a larger gift like a travel system or something. I would, though, expect her to provide the bulk of her needs.
Here's the gist - do what you want to do. Just understand that if you invite people to these events, they may not have the same opinion that you do and can choose not to attend. It's not something to be taken personally. It is what it is - to each their own. Just be respectful of your guests, and keep it classy.
"Wrong on so many levels"? A little extreme. But thanks for taking the time to edit my post and comment on every word. You care a lot! Sounds like no one would want to come to your shower. You sound horrible to be around. Good luck with that!
This will end well.
OP- Since you came on here and asked for opinions, I will give you mine. I think gender reveal parties for people I care about are cute. But I have to be one of your close family members or best girlfriends.
Second or subsequent showers are downright frowned upon and gross in my circle and I wouldn't be caught dead accepting one. Showers, as everyone has said, are to shower the new mom into motherhood.
She put in the invitation. "If you would like to help out the growing family. The family loves Target gift cards for anything they may need. As well if you bring a pack of Pampers diapers you will be entered into a raffle"
I think it's perfectly fine. Especially since it says "if you want to help the growing family... "
I think gender reveals are a great way to celebrate and have fun with it all... being a 2nd and not having a shower...
Isn't it the same thing? Asking for gifts..still sounds like a shower to me. To each their own.
Married: 5/09 ~ TTC Since: 10/10 ~ PCOS ~ Progesterone from 10/10 - 2/11 ~ HSG on 3/18 - Clear ~ Started Metformin 1000mg & Clomid 50mg 2/11 ~ Metformin upped to 1500mg 4/6 ~ 6/7 Now going to SG and put on Clomid, Ovidrel, Gonal F, Prometrium, Estrace ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP!!!!!! March 6th our little man was born.
6/17/13 - Ovidrel, Follistim, Prometrium ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP! March 17th our St. Pattys day baby arrived
10/29/17 - Started process for IVF, got pregnant & miscarried a 2nd time since summer. 2/22 started stims - Menopur, Gonal F, Cetrotide - retrieval 3/6 - , PIO, estrace 3xday - FET 4/18 = Beta 1: 616; Beta 2: 1342 = BFP