1st Trimester
BellaBeeBaby
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Gender Reveal Parties
BellaBeeBaby
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This is our 2nd child so we wanted to do something different..so I was thinking gender reveal party. But I feel like if I do a gender reveal party I shouldn't have a baby shower cause that's a lot of my friends and family. Do people usually bring gifts to gender reveal parties? Can you have a gender reveal party/ baby shower together? Thanks!
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Re: Gender Reveal Parties
Yes, this. Gender reveal are pretty AWish, imo and showers are only for first time moms.
I think it is a to each their own type deal.
DH's family is trying to convince me to do one, but I am not sold on the idea.
1. I can think of a million other ways to spend the couple hundred dollars we would be shelling out to hold the party.
2. Neither of our families is small and you can't only invite a limited number without offending somebody.
3. I can't stand the suspense of waiting. I would rather just know right there and then.
As for a 2nd shower... I would say it would depend on how long in between kids. If its been 5-10 years then a 2nd shower I don't think is crazy, but if its sooner(as in my case 3 years) I think its greedy.
IMHO I knew when pregnant with my first that it would not be my last and therefore I purchased all gender neutral items for the big stuff, and nursery so they could be used multiple times. It drives me nuts when people plan to have more then one child and by all gender specific items for their first, like strollers, pack and plays, bouncy seats, swings, etc.
I have personally never been invited to a gender reveal. I am not so sure I would go to one either, unless it was a very close friend or family member.
I do have a friend who is pregnant with her second LO. For both of her pregnancies, she had a diaper party, baby shower and then another type of shower (her SO is Laotian). So, basically 3 showers for each baby. She also has 1/2 year bday parties. I seriously side eye her and do not attend all the extras. The baby shower and normal bdays, yes, but all that other stuff no.
Like with the baby shower thing. The first baby people always have at least one baby shower, but after that you don't hear of people having a full-blown baby shower for the second. After the first people adopt a been-there-done-that attitude. They get excited about it and want to know all about it, but they don't do as much as with the first.
Kinda like the saying that when your first child drops a pacifier you take it home and boil and sanitize it. The second you wipe it off with a wet wipe. The third you just hand it back to them. Did I explain it better this time? I really didn't mean for what I posted earlier to sound that way. Trust me, my mindset and thought processes about children couldn't be farther from how it sounded. I'm on here trying to distract myself from all-day sickness and I'm apparently foggier than I thought.
As far as the diaper shower, it's something that I guess is a regional thing. I live in the southeast and we have them all the time for mothers having subsequent children. Most of the time a mother already has everything else, so the only thing she really needs are diapers, wipes, etc. Of course if someone wants to bring an outfit or something it's gratefully accepted, but no one expects more than diapers or wipes.
Married: 5/09 ~ TTC Since: 10/10 ~ PCOS ~ Progesterone from 10/10 - 2/11 ~ HSG on 3/18 - Clear ~ Started Metformin 1000mg & Clomid 50mg 2/11 ~ Metformin upped to 1500mg 4/6 ~ 6/7 Now going to SG and put on Clomid, Ovidrel, Gonal F, Prometrium, Estrace ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP!!!!!! March 6th our little man was born.
6/17/13 - Ovidrel, Follistim, Prometrium ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP! March 17th our St. Pattys day baby arrived
10/29/17 - Started process for IVF, got pregnant & miscarried a 2nd time since summer. 2/22 started stims - Menopur, Gonal F, Cetrotide - retrieval 3/6 - , PIO, estrace 3xday - FET 4/18 = Beta 1: 616; Beta 2: 1342 = BFP
So I guess we just have a difference of opinion on the purpose of baby showers. I've always wondered why people consider it tacky to do more for the subsequent children, and I guess more people think like you do than like I do. That would explain why I see it as people in general not making as big a deal out of the subsequent children.
And I would hope so! I was just using the saying as an example of how I view people's attitudes towards second and up children. I hate it when people just give their kids something that's been on the floor without cleaning it. You have no idea what's been on that floor. That's nasty.
I always understood the baby shower as a shower for that baby not as a welcome to motherhood party.
If someone wants to throw you a second shower or gender reveal either politely say no thanks I don't want one or let them. People will know its a second child and buy gifts differently.
Also, sometimes a second shower is very appropriate. Example my cousin had a baby in high school then many years later had a baby with her husband. She had a baby shower for both. DH was invited too. It was not Awish or tacky.
Also your guests are not obligated to go or buy you a gift.
So if you don't want one or think they are stupid, don't have one or don't go to one.
Same with gender reveal. I won't have one but if someone invited me I'd probably go. I'd go to a second shower too and I only bring gifts if I'm financially able at the time.
Married: August 2012
DD: 9/22/2014
We are going to have the doctor write down on paper and put in an envelope. Then I'm taking to my baker to make cupcakes. She will be the only one to know until the party. There wil be team pink and team blue and everyone will guess what they think the baby is. Then we will all bite into the cupcakes and find out together. Possibly even reveal the name. We are only inviting a handful of family and close friends. I think it's such a fun idea.
My SIL is also throwing me a shower closer to my due date. I am a first time mom. Like they said the reveal party there should not be gifts.
I am truly being sincere and not snarky when I say this: not everyone wants to squee over every milestone of your pregnancy. It's a bit self-indulgent to assume so. I'm not saying that on the surface everything that you're saying sounds sweet and homey. But, in reality, asking your friends to celebrate that you're pregnant, that you're having a girl, that you're having a shower, that the baby is born is just too much. In this world where modesty is all but forgotten, it's good to take a step back and see things from an alternate perspective. Everyone can be happy without needing to jump up and down at each and every step along the way, ya know? Especially if you're asking them to bring their own meals a la potluck at your celebratory parties.
A
Just about everyone I know with multiple kids has had a baby shower for each child. We are not planning on having one for our second, as they are less than two years apart and we have everything we need. But I think a lot depends on the age gap and if baby #2 is a different gender.
For the gender reveal, I have only seen this done at a baby shower or online in a cute way. I have never attended a gender reveal party. For my first, I made cupcakes with pink on the inside to take to work. They had to bite into or cut into the cupcake to see the pink. It was fun and over quickly so it wasn't disruptive. Other than that... we just said "it's a girl" on Facebook, and told our close friends and family in person or over the phone. I think with our second I will probably do something similar with Oreos and take them to work. I'm too tired to bake cupcakes now. LOL!
Just something small and cute, the cake was homemade by a friend who I knew wouldn't tell me.
I would have not done this normally and didn't with my first 2, but this is my last kiddo and the first time we are near family while pregnant.
I'm going to disagree with most of this ribbon. In my world and our church second-and-above-time mothers don't really ask for a shower, but we throw them anyway. We like to celebrate every child like it's the first, because it's a unique and special being. True, the presents are usually different. They run more towards toys and books and gifts for the older siblings (we celebrate them as well; it's a big transition for them, too!). So I guess they're more transition parties than outright showers, but we call them showers anyway. Showers of loooooove! *cheesy grin*
And I think this is great. A lot of my friends are on their second third or fourth kid, and all of them say they felt more overwhelmed after their second was born than they did with their first. Plus, if the second baby is a different gender than the first, or it's been more than a few years between births the moms have usually given away much of their baby stuff, so a shower can be more necessary than you might imagine.
As far as a gender reveal party? As much as I'm in favor of baby showers, I find them insufferably awkward as it is, and wouldn't enjoy attending a GRP. What a friend of mine did, which I thought was great, was had a earlier than usual baby shower (around 24 weeks), waited until then to do a gender reveal and find out the sex themselves, and had the cake at the shower dyed pink so that when they served it at the shower everyone found out and was excited. That was pretty cool. But you'd have to be ok with waiting a bit to know the gender, and getting non-gender specific stuff at your shower.
My two cents, so take it for what it's worth.
B-)Baby Girl Born: April 2014
If you ask me what I came to do in this world, I, an artist, I will answer you:
For a second child, I really like the concept of a sip-and-see. It's not a gift giving event, so I would even say it is appropriate to host yourself. It's like a brunch with mimosas, or a cocktail party that you would have after the child is born. It's a fun get-together with friends and family, and everyone loves to hold a new baby!
Babies can be celebrated without demanding gifts from people. Hence a gender reveal, a meet the baby or sip 'n see. If people choose to bring gifts, then that's on them. You're not asking for the gift. Yes - each child should be celebrated. But just because you have a second+ baby doesn't mean that people should be obligated to buy you stuff.
It's sex, not gender.
Biological anatomy vs. psychological construct
Two very different things
I know that when you post a question on a message board that you are subjecting yourself to all sorts of criticisms and opinions, but these replies are seriously over the top. The whole point of these message boards are for a means of support and an outlet for us. I know we're all going to have different opinions, and that's a very wonderful thing, but these posts are straight up attacking someone for a thought, an opinion, a question... and mostly, just reflecting an idea among like people. Say what you will and "to each their own" but this is completely out of control.
I'm pregnant for the first time, and really thought I wanted to do a GRP, but clearly, everyone hates them. This post completely changed my thoughts on that. What I thought would be a celebration (I mean hey, you're supplying the food the booze, all they have to do is show up and have a good time, right? Wrong, apparently) is apparently an obligation for others and is self-indulgent for the parents. I get it, but I certainly did not realize it was viewed that way until after this post. I would have and still would love to attend a GRP, but I am certainly in the minority on that one!
Showers for a second baby are usually called "sprinkles" and are always hosted by a friend/family member. Usually the gifts are very small or sometimes the group gets together to buy one nice gift. I've noticed them mostly with someone who's pregnant with multiples for a second birth or pregnant with a different gender. THERE ARE NO RULES, JUST GUIDELINES AND WE BREAK THEM ALL THE TIME. So girl, have your cake and eat it too. I hope you do exactly what you want and use these posts as nothing but entertainment.
Check out my pregnancy blog: http://www.picklesforbreakfast.com
I actually appreciate this
It's the internet. People can respond however they wish. If you're that sensitive about an internet stranger's opinion, then the internet isn't the place for you.