No "I love you"s

Re: No "I love you"s

• bosha711 member

  August 2013

  We don't have this problem, but that makes me really sad reading it! Hopefully it's just a phase? Is it a result of sibling jealousy maybe?
  
  
  

  
  
  

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• Coltsdad member

  August 2013

  He was doing this well before his brother came along.  He'll hug you and stuff, but he only on very rare occasion will say "I love you" and it is almost always prompted by someone saying "Say 'I love you', J". 
  
  As far as the not liking my wife, I know he loves her, but when she comes in the room to get him from nap or in the morning, she reports he asks for me instead a bunch.  He will tell my wife to get up to let me sit next to him.  I mean when she comes home from work, he gets excited, he gives her hugs and stuff, so I mean it isn't like he completely ignores her or dislikes her, but his behavior hurts her feelings.
  
  It just sucks because one of the things you always look forward to is hearing your little one tell you "I love you, mommy" or "I love you, daddy" and we just simply do NOT get it from him at all and we don't know why because we tell him we love him ALL the time.
  

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• lrn327 member

  August 2013

  I can't speak to the lasting preference for one parent over the over (though C strongly prefers only one of us at a given time and makes it known), but we definitely had the "I love you" problem too.  He learned to say it a very long time ago but NEVER said it, even if you said it to him and then prompted him.  About 3 weeks ago, that changed and he started saying it much more.  I was really starting to wonder about it....  I know it's really tough, but just give him a bit longer and see if it changes.

  

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• tiffanyp member

  August 2013

  Hmm... I'm not sure about the "I love you" thing. It seems like somehow he has a negative association with it. It seems weird for a 2-year-old to be defiant about that, since they don't fully grasp the significance of it. Avery went through a short Barney phase where she watched it every day for a couple weeks, and after that she started saying it randomly (or singing it). Maybe you can randomly put a few of those episodes on now and then to see how he reacts. 

  
  

  As far as preferring you over Mom, that's tough. Did this start after A was born (or after he knew the new baby was coming), or did was he always a daddy's boy? 

  
  
  
  

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• keags5496 member

  August 2013

  E only says I love you if you say it to him first by he's affectionate so I'm fine with that. You mentioned he'll give hugs so maybe he just doesn't really get what it means to say I love you and is giving the typical 2 year old response.
  
  I'm curious if his preference is always you too. And is it an all the time preference? E prefers me to do bath time and storie and wake ups, but wants DS to play with him. That's partly because those are the things we always do for him. If not, have you tried talking to him and trying to find out why? Or letting him know somehow that he's making mommy sad?

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• stephy1221 member

  August 2013

  A knows we want her to say I love you too so sometimes she says no and that she only loves the dogs but for the most part she will say she loves me. A few months ago not so much.

  
  

  As for preference, with A it is whatever parent is spending the most time with her. if DH is working a lot she only wants mommy even once he his home.
  

  
  

  I am sure like all toddler phases this will pass : )

  
  

           

  
  

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• babycakes member

  August 2013 edited August 2013

  G usually won't tell us he loves us unless we ask first or say "I love you" first.  With DH, he'll say "yes" about 50% of the time.  With me, he'll say "yes" all the time.  Hes also a mamas boy.  He'll do what your LO does.  If Dh goes to get G after a nap or in the morning, he'll say "No!  Want mama!"  He'll only go to me for comfort if he gets hurt too.  Both DH and I discipline the boys the same, I think.  I'm sure DH gets a bit hurt, especially since this has been going on for at least a yea, if not longer.  With me just ending mat leave (1 year) and now staying at home (til I find another job), I'm sure it totally solidified G being a mamas boy!

  
  

  I really do think its a phase though and once I go back to work and G starts seeing DH more often the mamas boy thing will ease up.

  

   

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• pitterpatter129 member

  August 2013 edited August 2013

  Nate has never said I love you.  Ever.  He is behind in speech and I think he has no idea what it means, so no desire to say it.  

  
  

  N prefers Daddy too if he's home.  He was a mama's boy and my nursling until he was 2, so I'm not too offended.  It's kind of nice to get at least one of them off of me. Kids go through attachment phases of preferring one parent.  In our house, DH is more likely to be the "fun" one who will wrestle and be the horse, so no wonder he prefers him to play! 

  

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• jnicolen1 member

  September 2013

  oliver says i love you...he will both initiate, and respond.  ive never asked "do you love me?", so i don't know if say no if asked when its not his idea.

  lately, oliver prefers daddy for most things.  he will do what your LO does when i get him in the morning ("NO, I WANT DADDY!").  it is fairly frequent, and it can be hurtful, but he does still request me on occasion.

  i figured that it was because DH works a ton, so oliver misses him like crazy.  

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• rainydayluck member

  September 2013

  It sounds like maybe "I love you" is turning into something you are giving him a complex about. It isn't a big deal. It's a pretty abstract idea. Ours says I love you when we say it first. It is something fun and silly we do with each other (saying I love YOU, back and forth), so it is paired with something fun, not some demand of do you love me, say you love me, etc.
  
  There is probably a lot more going on that is contributing that can't be ascertained via a short post.

  
  

  DD1: IUGR, low AFI delivered at 36 weeks

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  DD2: IUGR, low AFI delivered at 37 weeks
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• Coltsdad member

  September 2013

  Apparently he broke that phase this past weekend.  He was very loving on her, and actually said the words "I love you" for the first time in quite some time, unprompted.  Whatever it was, I'm glad it seems to have ended.
  

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