Anyone NOT excited to tell family?

ksr53777 · August 2013

I come from a larger family, one of 5 children. While I know my parents love and adore my 3 children, every time I have told them I was pregnant I knew they weren't thrilled. I know it's because they've done the big family and they know how hard it is and they want my life to be 'easier.' However, it's always a bit of a bummer to not get big hugs and congratulations when we tell them. This is our 4th and I know their reaction will be the same, if not worse. It's not that they'll be mad, they'll just be really, really quiet and not say much of anything. I'm thinking of telling them at DS's birthday party, so that my in-laws will be here too. Then we can just let all the grandparent know at the same time and I can focus on how excited my in-laws are (they'll be over the moon, DH is an only and they've been hinting for more grandkids but didn't think it was likely).

greywolf18 · August 2013

I don't want to tell my mom, since her reaction last time (last year... I ended up having an m/c at 7w6d, first natural conception. Have 1 DD from IVF, 6.5yo) was to go on and on about her dog that had died 2 or so weeks earlier. She didn't even ACKNOWLEDGE that I told her.

Luckily my MIL is awesome and will be wildly ecstatic - and this will be like her 20th grand kiddo. She LOVES all of them and is always excited for more! She even has a few great grands. :-) she treats each one as if they're the one and only. She is amazing!

Best of luck with your parents. It sucks. :-/

MrsG325 · August 2013

I have opposite worries. My mom is one of my best friends and my dad is awesome. We're telling them this weekend. My mil on the other hand.... I'm just not super thrilled to tell. She has a lot of "advice" as it is for our life. Plus they live out of country and I'll have to deal with them complaining about having to fly in. Maybe it won't be bad but I'm not looking forward

MSchepper · August 2013

I'm terrified... I'm the only girl and wanted to tell her at 12 weeks but that would be my wedding day and I want to tell her an my dad before that. I don't want them to think that's why we're getting married so fast. But at the same time I'm 27 and they have no grandkids so maybe it will be okay... Who knows ... My future mil told us already don't give her an out of wedlock surprise... But my future brother I. Law and his wife just found out they are 3 months along... So maybe it will be okay...

Mustardseed2007 · August 2013

Yeah. Not excited. I did already tell my parents and my FIL and MIL. We haven't told my BIL and his wife yet. Basically since we had a MC in may, telling people comes out kind of weird. "I'm pregnant, we'll see how it goes". Just awkward.

The other thing about telling my SIL is that I know once I do, all the belly rubbing will start. I can't STAND that. I really just can. not. stand. it.

And I've told her and told her and she just keeps doing it. But she has such a vapid, sunny disposition about her all the time that I feel bad loosing it on her. So I really don't want to tell her and start all that either.

NicoleAnne416 · August 2013

Our two kids are older, we just moved to a small town (DH's hometown) and the only place open to rent right away was a 2 bedroom apartment/4plex. We're already pretty cramped. I just can't WAIT to see their reactions when they thought we were done. Oh boy...

greywolf18 · August 2013

I also don't want to tell my sis. She'll be 40 this year and has never been able to conceive. She only just this past year decided to look into it though (whereas we did IVF when I was 27). So I kinda have the mindset of "well, it's not MY fault you weren't more proactive." She'll be surface happy, but seeing as she didn't come to the shower for DD or come to see her after she was born... I just don't know what reaction to expect.

ZebNMichelle · August 2013

Just my mom... She is a negative person. And was not happy when i told her my last pregnacy that i lost. Everyone else will be excited.

ajwifey21 · August 2013

I'm totally not excited either. We already told my parents and they were so super excited and supportive and I know the rest of my family will be too, but I'm not excited to tell his family, mainly my SIL. DH and I have been through a lot lately and are working through some big problems so needless to say, this baby was a surprise.

We're doing MUCH better these days, but everything with his sister is always filled with drama and unfortunately since she knows about the issues we've been having I know that when we tell her it's going to turn into this big ordeal ugh. She drives me crazy!!! I've tried so hard to develope a relationship with her, but she continues to do things to try to come between my husband and me and I am SO over it!! Sigh... Last time I was pregnant I couldn't wait to tell people... This time I'm wondering how long I can go before people will start noticing.

ajwifey21 · August 2013

Fortunately I just lost 30 lbs so maybe people will think I'm just getting fat again...haha. No matter what though I'm excited about this baby and no one should take that away from us! Keep your head up ladies!!

michaelad3 · August 2013

I'm sure my parents and ILs will be fine once the initial shock wears off, but I am definitely nervous to tell them. DH and I have been married for 2.5 years, just bought a house in march, and are 25/26, but DH still has 2+ more years of school, and I'm our primary income earner. I just don't want the judgement and the "don't you think you should have waited".

RayRay007 · August 2013

I'm reluctant to tell the ILs but not because they're negative. Because they'll be over the top. My family is pretty reserved and I told them already and they we're like "oh, that's exciting" and they asked a few questions, but otherwise, life carries on. My ILs will probably jump up and down and be embarassing, will ask a million inappropriate questions about the state of my private parts, my weight, etc. and I'll never hear the end of it. FIL probably won't let me lift a finger. Also, we have a wedding to go to OOTC next summer and I was just going to plan it as usual and take along a 2 month old, but they will probably think they have to have it revolve around the 2 month old. I know I should think it's sweet but it's annoying.

ksr53777 · August 2013

While I'm not happy for those of you also going through this, it does make me feel a little less awful about going through it myself

It is just disappointing that I can't share this super exciting event in my life and be happy about telling my parents. They are also going to think it's terrible timing, as DH will be in the middle of his master's program when this one is due. However, we didn't want to wait and have a 6 year gap between the 3rd and 4th.

justright47 · August 2013

I'm unexcited because my mom will be so annoyingly happy that she'll drive me nuts. I know, weird but she already calls me all the time and will most likely call everyday once she knows. Excited to tell my dad because he's mellow. Not excited to tell MIL either because she's just weird, she'll be happy but I'm afraid a little too involved as she doesn't have a close relationship with her 1st GS. Everyone else will be cool.

slensic · August 2013

I am not excited about telling SIL. We had some drama concerning the birth of my DD and she is now 15 weeks pregnant with her first. I think in the long run it will be great to have cousins so close in age but initially I don't know how her reaction is going to be. I am afraid there is going to be a little of I am stealing her thunder attitude.

ksulli · August 2013

We're telling tonight, which is early for us after last time.My parents, sister & ILs will all be together, which never happens, so that's why we'll spill. Last time we waited till 13w and my mom's reaction was, "I'm so glad you waited to tell me, I would have been SO stressed" because we lost the 1st. Gee, thanks, I'm glad I could save YOU the stress.

I also find it super awkward to tell people. I'd almost rather wait till I'm showing and they ask. Hopefully DH will be the one to spit it out.

oh, and my older sister has none (hasn't been trying) but I'm sure on some level she'll be upset that I'm finishing my family before she even starts hers.

emnoahmom · August 2013

Me. When I told my mother about baby number 5 her faced dropped and she said that she wasn't telling my father. I can only imagine the reaction this time. She only had two kids and could barely handle that. I don't think she has much respect for us having a big family or for me being a SAHM. Honestly, I don't care this time around, but I am keeping it quiet for as long as possible.

deidremaria · August 2013

I'm so sorry your parents won't be thrilled. At least your in laws will be. I kinda have a similar situation. I told my mom and she's ecstatic but my dad not so much. He thinks I'm too young and not ready and have so much more I can do before I become a mom. Don't get me wrong he is right to a degree but I know I'll do just fine. This baby is in no way a set back. As long as you and your family (husband and kids) are excited about the new addition that's all that matters

BiggerinRealLife · August 2013

Not excited to tell either of our fathers. We're estranged from them but feel they have a right to know. Will be the first conversation I've had on the phone with my dad in 6 years. Awkward, party of one...

Also not excited to tell my MIL. She alteady talks about DH'a birth like it were yesterday (he's my husband and 33 years old. Time to cut the cord, lady.) and I'm pretty sure she's going to try to make my pregnancy all about her. Which is why I want to wait to tell her because I totally don't put it past her to "just tell a few close friends" who happen to be mutual friends and steal our thunder. But it's important to DH to tell her sine we told me mom. Le sigh. Here's hoping my fears are unconfirmed.

awc1986 · August 2013

we're terrified of telling anybody. we had a blighted ovum in may that wasn't discovered until my scan at 12 wks 5 days and we don't want to tell anyone until we've seen that little pickle on a screen. we told everyone last time, which made it even harder when we found the empty sac. i'm 95% convinced there's nothing there again.

Charlyse · August 2013

I'm not excited to tell my very best friend. She's been trying to get pregnant since April. She using fertility medication and she and her husband have designated " humping time". I decided to wait until Halloween to mention it to her.

kmonroe2 · August 2013

I'm kind of dreading telling my side of the family. My husband and I have both mentioned we want our kids close in age but would get a lecture on how hard it is to have 2 kids, how expensive kids are.....blah, blah, blah. It's kind of ridiculous since I am 32 years old and have a stable, well paying job. Whatever.

Katiecave · August 2013

I'm a little nervous about telling my MIL because she has a big mouth and I just KNOW she'll tell probably more than one person at church. I'm not really all that excited to tell my mom.
We've never been that close and it's worse now that my dad passed away (my dad and I were super close). She has a live-in boyfriend that I despise and don't want to be a part of my LO's life. Oh wells.... Can't not tell them I guess.

bwelding85 · August 2013

This baby is a complete surprise. We're already having trouble financially with just one and our small apartment is already busting at the seams. Our family doesn't totally know our situation, but they know enough to know that a second baby is going to make things really hard. Throw in the fact that ill probably have to give up one of my jobs, and we're kind of screwed... Anyway, I think they're going to be more worried/concerned/frustrated than excited. I'm really nervous to hear their reactions.

cfthoct292011 · August 2013

I don't look forward to telling my MIL when we got pregnant last year she basically told DH to make me get an abortion. Then when i found out the baby had triploidy and spina bifida she said well see i told you what to do. Now she acts like she cares but i think its just that an act. And i'm nervous to tell everyone else because i just miscarried in january and i dont want them to be too scared to get attatched but its inevitable. Now that my nieces and nephews and his baby brother and sister are older i think ill wait longer to tell them because fortunately last year at their ages they just forgot i was prego and never asked this yr im not gonna be so lucky. So this should be a fun roller coaster plus im scared o not having enough money

shukjen · August 2013

shukjen · August 2013

NOT excited. My mom lives with us and is going to be on me like white on rice once she hears the news.

luvU2theMoon · August 2013

I am not married... so you can imagine for me there are not too many people that i am excited to tell... I miscarried two years ago and only told my mom and sister. I am not afraid to tell my mom or sister because they support me in every way and will be excited! However tell my boyfriends parents makes me nervous. I shouldnt be, i am 24 and i have been wiht my boyfriend fro 6 years. We just have chosen to not get married, But his parents dont really like that and he has an almost 8 year old son and his sister has a 5 year old both of which came from a "mistake" as his parents say. I am hoping because i have such a good rekationship with them and they know how responsible and well off we are right now that they will be happy but they are very traditional so i guess you never know... i have 6 weeks to find the best way to tell them.

BladeDancer · August 2013

I'm not excited to tell my mom. We had a talk about a month before I got pregnant and she said that she hoped i wasn't planning on having a baby soon because i hadn't been dating long. So yeah she's going to be pissed. I feel like a wusy because I'm 36. Pathetic.

ksr53777 · August 2013

BladeDancer said:

I'm not excited to tell my mom. We had a talk about a month before I got pregnant and she said that she hoped i wasn't planning on having a baby soon because i hadn't been dating long. So yeah she's going to be pissed. I feel like a wusy because I'm 36. Pathetic.

What is it about our parents that makes otherwise successful, full-grown women freak out?!?! Sometimes when I'm worrying about it I have to remind myself that it's not like I'm 16, even though for some reason I can still feel that way around them.

JennyBeeThree · August 2013

I told my mother the minute I got a BFP. She knew we were trying and I was just so over the moon excited I HAD to tell her. She was excited.. My dad, however.. Not so much. He will be better once the baby is here, but he isn't fond of the idea of me going through another c-section and all the morning sickness, etc. He's worried about his little girl, which is sweet.. I just wish he would be more excited. Soooo I understand your frustration.

mrstaraboo · August 2013

While I can't relate to your exact situation I know I'm not thrilled and am actually a bit terrified. This is my first. I'm not married and my older sister is at 16 weeks with her first. I just know I'm going to be judged but I'm 30 and fiancé is 34. We both have great jobs and he owns his house. It was our plan down the road but it looks like we got out timing wrong! I don't want people to feel sorry for me or think he and I are getting married just because of a baby. First came love next came ababy carraige now all that's left is marriage!

wvReelrn · August 2013

Not excited to tell the future inlaws. We miscarried in may, 2 weeks after we told them. They were excited but both after saying congrats we're asking when we were getting married bc they are very traditional. So after the miscarriage they were upset (it would have been there first grandchild) but we had talked and told them that we were gonna wait until after we r married. Well suprise suprise. Here we are and I'm so afraid they will think this is on purpose and it wasnt planned but this baby is wanted by us. Hope they will understand. Just worried. Also my guy still has a year of residency before he moves home so we are 2 hours away and will be until he is done. However my parents are thrilled

Sisimama10 · August 2013

Me too! Baby number 2 and I was still terrified to tell my parents. I am almost 28 and have been a wonderful mom to baby number 1 and have a full time teaching job, but still feel 13 at times!

Anyone NOT excited to tell family?

Re: Anyone NOT excited to tell family?

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