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October 2013 Moms
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UGH: Shocked/Disgusted.. Am I crazy? Kind of long.
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Ok, so my grandmother's health has been in decline for several years. It's down to the wire and she's actually lasted a couple weeks longer than the doctors thought, though they say it could be any day now. I've said my goodbyes as has the rest of my family. She's at peace because of her faith and so are we.
She has six children, the youngest being my uncle from her second marriage. The first five kids are from her first husband who was not a very good person, to say the least. Anyways, when she married my "pop" her oldest was only around 8, as she had them pretty much back to back. He brought a good many valuable antiques with him from his family, and they were handed down more over the years. Because my youngest uncle, Bill, is pop's only blood child, even though the others were all basically raised by him and they all grew up together, Bill gets the first pick of all of the antiques that came directly from that side of the family. I'm not sure if this was something that was stipulated my pop or my grandmother, or both. Agree or disagree, that's just how it is, even though five other kids that all had a hand in raising Bill, the youngest, grew up with all of these furnishings and my grandmother spent 55 years taking care of the house and all their belongings. This is a 6000 square foot house with 7 bedrooms full of beautiful furniture, as well as formal and informal living and dining rooms.
As I said above, my grandmother is still alive, though barely. My uncle bill's wife just posted a bunch of pictures of the furniture in my grandmother's house on her facebook wall. Mind you, she just married in to the family about ten years ago. She is family, but still. I guess she is over there scoping out all of her new stuff before my grandmother is even gone with no regard to the feelings of the other five kids and ALL the grandkids and great-grandkids that grew up loving that house and all of the things in it so much, and more importantly, loving our grandmother. Anyways, here are a couple of the pictures she's posting. There are several.
The antique bed in the background is solid brass and is worth ALOT. Last it was appraised it was well into to 5 digits.
Duncan phyfe sofa and three matching tables. The legs are wrapped because we had the carpet cleaned.
I'm just kind of taken aback. I'm not sure if my pregnancy "bitch" is just causing me to overreact or if I'm correct in thinking this is totally tacky and out-of-line.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: UGH: Shocked/Disgusted.. Am I crazy? Kind of long.
I know my mom and uncle did a bit of dividing up some things before my grandfather died (and after my grandmother was dead) and no one was upset by it, because they knew it had to be done and didn't want it to become a Big Deal if one person sort of wanted That Chair but didn't know that for the other person it was The Most Special Chair in the World.
Also, my grandparents encouraged us to let them know if there was anything special that we wanted while they were still alive, so that they could make a point of setting it aside for us, again to avoid possible misunderstandings later.
But this does depend on how well your family gets along; ours does, but I know that's not always the case.
Iris born Halloween 2013! 6 lbs, 1 oz, 18 inches long
Before my great-grandmother passed away, she had everyone come to her house and pick out the items they wanted, and they were labelled with masking tape on the bottom. When she passed away, my aunt cleared out the place, completely disregarding the labels. Nobody has forgiven her.
People become different when death and wills come into play. It's sad and disgusting. I've lost some important people to death and along with them are the people that become vultures.
No, they are in her house. There are just things laying around right now as it's become storage and things got moved around when the carpet cleaners came.
Thanks everyone. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't crazy for thinking this was totally inappropriate. There are no captions or anything, just a bunch of pictures. I'm interested to see what she says if anyone starts commenting on them.
I would comment on the pic and say "Oh this is Granny's sofa" etc. But I'm passive aggressive that way.
9/13/12 BFP 9/25/12 M/C at 6.5 weeks
***All AL'ers Welcome***
I'd rip her a new asshole.
Mmmmmm frosted flakes.
"WOW! You must have no respect for your own MIL or DH! How dare you try to sell off property that does not even belong to you yet considering a will does not come into action until the actual person is deceased, which she very clearly is not! You disgust me. At the very least respect the fact that she has family that will see that you are only trying to make money off a poor woman's property. If all you want to do is sell her stuff let the rest of the family take what they ARE sentimentally attached to and do what you like with what's left. SHAME ON YOU!"
Maybe it angers me so much having dealt with something similar not too long ago. Whatever you decide to do I hope you set this heifer straight.
I agree with PPs, I would immediately contact the aunt who is executor of the estate and notify her that this woman (uncle's new wife) is listing grandma's possessions for sales on FB (that are not even theirs yet) PLUS that there should be a discussion that if there are any items they don't want to keep, the rest of the family should get first right to purchase or exchange for other items left to them per the will.
This behavior is reprehensible and this woman should be ashamed of herself.
I really don't think it is your place to say anything, but your parents need to address this issue with the uncle and he needs to reign in his wife and let her know how inappropriate she is behaving.
I really hope the situation clears up with a minimum of ugliness.