BTDT natural birth moms...

MariaKeegs · August 2013

Do any of you dread the start of labor, the pain of childbirth and the mess of post partum recovery?? I am 37+ weeks and getting ready for my second homebirth and 4th unmedicated birth. I love it. The experience is amazing and I wouldn't do it any other way. But it also hurts. A lot. And newborns are so...draining. And it's overwhelming. Please tell me I'm not alone. I'm starting to feel guilty!!

nosoup4u · August 2013

You're not alone. I'm not currently pg, but we're on the fence about having a third, and part of me doesn't want to go thru pg, labor and a baby all over again. Totally part of motherhood!

KateLouise · August 2013

I felt like that before my second was born. I was fortunate that labour and caring for a newborn was easier.

I did find the mess of post partum recovery a lot more irritating. I was really ready to be up and out there, but felt "icky"

I don't think there's anything to feel guilty about. We all know you will absolutely adore your new little one when he or she arrives, but let's face it babies are hard work, and you're doing it with 3 other little ones. And yes labour is an amazing experience and I wouldn't do it any other way...but yeah it hurts and it's exhausting.

Best wishes with your upcoming birth.

KateLouise · August 2013

Oh and part of me reason for wanting to be pregnant with #3, yesterday, is that I know the further I get away from the baby zone, the harder it will be to go back to it.

Arielle27 · August 2013

Definitely!

I had relatively easy/quick labors with my two...and still I remember being so traumatized by the pain the first time!! I couldn't sleep for a week without being nervous that contractions were about to begin again. I went through the whole birth scenario in my head a million times thereafter. Then I spent a few weeks as an emotional mess, crying about everything!

However, 15 months later as I readied myself for another birth, I found myself looking forward to the miraculous experience again. It was also different because I had endured a month of ptl and constant false labor with my second. So there wasn't time to relish the anticipation of the pain, as it were, but rather I just wanted the month of contractions to finally end!!

As for th newborn drain, in a way it was worse because I had two, but in a way I knew why to expect so recovery and snapping back into ready form was so much easier!

This time I've also had a ptl scare and a lot of false labor, and only now as I'm finally reaching what will most likely be the last few weeks of pregnancy for me (I'm just hoping to make it to term), I'm starting to remember the pain involved!!!

However, having gone through this twice before, I'm quite confident that things will go as quickly, if not more quickly than before and I console myself with that.

In terms of the newborn drain... Well I've been in constant fear of that inevitable outcome since I found out I was pregnant! I will have 3 under 3 and am just terrified!! Especially since we finally decided to budget for some extra help in the beginning (which I didn't have with the other two) and we had to fire the person we found already, so we now have nothing lined up...

ssemovsk · August 2013

I've only had one and it was a long and painful labor but I have every intention of having a natural birth when we eventually have baby number2. Hopefully it'll be easier second time around!

beckyandmiles · August 2013

Yes, you're not alone! I'm 36 weeks now, with my second. Planning to go unmedicated again. This time I'm trying to prep my support system by asking for help & letting everyone know I'm not planning to leave my bed for 2 weeks... hopefully this will benefit us all in the long run!

MariaKeegs · August 2013

beckyandmiles said:
Yes, you're not alone! I'm 36 weeks now, with my second. Planning to go unmedicated again. This time I'm trying to prep my support system by asking for help & letting everyone know I'm not planning to leave my bed for 2 weeks... hopefully this will benefit us all in the long run!

I love that idea!! Gotta run that by my hubby. At least one week in bed, right??

aylafsu88 · August 2013

Yes! Honestly, the difficulty of post-partum recovery is my biggest fear. IMO the pain of labor is only temporary but the postpartum recovery part was the worst. My tear took forever to heal and I was in a lot of pain. The hormones, lack of sleep, and the pain made me miserable. I really hope that when we have #2 the post-partum period will be much easier.

Luv2Run1st · August 2013

I didn't realize i had any fears until I almost thought I was in labor a couple nights ago and I started thinking to myself that I wasn't ready to experience it yet. Now after having a few days, I think I am feeling less anxious and ready.

My mom always said she got nervous at the end for all of the above..post partum and birthing. When it is your first, its kind of nice that you don't know what to expect so the fear/ anxiety is much less.

Arielle27 · August 2013

MariaKeegs said:

Yes, you're not alone! I'm 36 weeks now, with my second. Planning to go unmedicated again. This time I'm trying to prep my support system by asking for help & letting everyone know I'm not planning to leave my bed for 2 weeks... hopefully this will benefit us all in the long run!
I love that idea!! Gotta run that by my hubby. At least one week in bed, right??

If you can get away with it - amazing! Personally, I found that recovery with number 2 was SO much easier! I couldn't get out of bed for a week after my first was born, but I was doing laundry and feeding my son dinner while breastfeeding the day I got home from the hospital with number 2... I literally just snapped right into normal life within days! I have friends who have had similar experiences.

So whether you get that great rest or not, here's hoping for a quick and easy recovery for you!

abirdd9 · August 2013

I loved everything about being pregnant, in labor and giving birth to my first and am counting down the days until we TTC so I can experience it all over again. I loved laboring and look forward to doing it all again!

My friends and sisters look at me like I have three heads when we talk about pregnancy and I start talking LOL!

KaylaC0514 · August 2013

I absolutely loved my birthing experience. Some people think I'm crazy for saying that because I had to be induced at 42 weeks (unpleasant), labored all night long, had a 2nd degree tear,.. and some other things didn't go very well. But for the most part I'm hoping I go into labor without having to be induced this time. I hope I can have another water birth. But yeah, not looking forward to all of the post partum bleeding and discomfort.

tokenhoser · August 2013

I took a week "off" to recover, and I think it makes a big difference to properly rest and take care of yourself. I am lucky - my DH is off work (teacher) and my mom could come to help. I didn't leave the house for a week, although lying in bed is far too boring for me to do that long. As for recovery, I highly recommend naproxen/Aleve for pain, ice pads made in advance, and baths (or sitz baths) at least twice a day if you have a tear. Calendula cream and aloe are also nice down below.

I had a third degree tear this time, and they used the words "deep" and "multiple" as well, but after a week I was feeling close to normal. I totally credit taking the time off to heal properly before jumping back into real life.

As for labour, I was excited to meet my baby, but I'm no lover of the pain to get there.

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