Adoption

Is it harder to adopt after a bio child?

My husband and I were blessed with an IVF baby, but the odds of an IVF success again are unlikely, based on age and my stim history. We really would like another child, but I am afraid having a child already will be an issue. I have several seminars scheduled, but not until the new year, so I was hoping someone could tell me if this is what they experienced, or offer perspective on adopting after a bio child.

I am also concerned about age limits. We are in our late 30s, is age a factor, too? 

Thanks so much, all signs have been pointing to adoption lately, but I am so overwhelmed. 

Robin

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Re: Is it harder to adopt after a bio child?

  • Hi first of all congrats on your baby!!!!!!!!!!  I know exactly what you are and have been going through.  We have a 18 month old IVF baby and we tryed for 8 months for another but due to my age and my lack of stim.....it was unsucessful.  So now we are adopting from Korea.  The first question I asked when we found our agency was " Were we going to be less likely to be matched because we have a biological child?"  They quickly answered NO they told us that the ONLY small way it may be a factor is if a birth parent has specifically asked for their child to go to a home where their baby is the only or oldest.  Otherwise it will not.  As for our age....I too am in my late 30's......I do not know about domestic but international they have age limits for adopting infants BUT I think that they are 43-45.....each country has its own rules but you should be fine internationally!!!

    GOOD LUCK and happy holidays 

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  • I assume you are talking domestic so I don't have much knowledge, other than I've known several people who did this. GL! It's nice to see you over on this board too.
  • We are planning to adopt our second child. ?I had to have a hysterectomy when DS was born :(. ?I am an only child and what a sibling for my little man. ?I've just started researching, but I've seen nothing that leads me to believe we will have a problem.
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  • Your son is beautiful.  I don't have a suggestion for adopting after a bio child, but my older brother is adopted and then my parents had me.  There was never any difference in how my brother felt.  He never felt like he was 2nd class or anything like that.  He always felt like he was wanted.

    In my case, we adopted Ben after 4 years of trying and 2 miscarraiges.  We were in our early 30's.  We are not going to try for a bio child, but I know I wouldn't treat them any differently.

    Good luck!

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  • It wasn't even a factor for us (domestic). Our bio daughter was 2 at the time and we were chosen for the twins before we had even completely our paperwork...

    Good luck!

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     TheNextWest............your family is BEAUTIFUL!!!!

     

     

    imageTheNextWest:

    It wasn't even a factor for us (domestic). Our bio daughter was 2 at the time and we were chosen for the twins before we had even completely our paperwork...

    Good luck!

  • I am adopting internationally (from Korea) and i know its not an issue with international adoption like a previous poster said.  We reached out to a few agencies domestically and they all told me that if we had one bio child, it wouldn't be an issue but with two bio children (especially a boy and a girl), they thought I would have to wait a very long time to be chosen.  So it looks like you will have a few options :)
  • It's definitely not a factor, unless like a PP said, it's a birth mom who has specifically requested a family with no other children.  That rarely happens.  In my experience, I've only seen a handful of birth moms who request that.  Oftentimes, they like knowing there will be siblings.

    And you're still young!!! :)  No worries as far as age goes.  Congrats on your beautiful son and best of luck on your adoption journey.  Keep us posted:)

    "Our children are not ours because they share our genes... they are ours because we have had the audacity to envision them. That, at the end of the day...or long sleepless night, is how love really works." Adoption Consultant Blog
    Personal Adoption Blog
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