Butting heads

ally2011 · August 2013

Jellybean902 said:

I've tried to get DH involved... And he is, in a lot of ways but he also skips out on a lot of other opportunities and I feel that's his fault. I've made DH responsible for tummy time, and he likes that. I'm consistently trying to get DH to hold DS and when I had him over, DH takes him and holds him, talks to him, sings to him, etc. DH also does diaper changes. But DH also kept talking about wanting to babywear. He picked out the mei tai carrier almost two weeks ago and has yet to use it. He leaves for work at 2:30 pm and it's his decision to not wake up until 2:00 pm to have JUST enough time to get ready to leave for work instead of waking up earlier in the day to spend time with his son. And it's him who is glued to the TV in the middle of the night and doesn't take care of DS unless I physically put him in DH's arms. So.... It is in no way that I have no heart for him wanting to be involved. I've tried to create ways for him to be involved. Some opportunities he takes and others he blows. I will ask him what it is about feeding DS that matters so much, but I'm glad there's a few other moms on an attachment parenting board that understand the importance of EBFing. Once DS starts solid foods at 6-8 months, anyone can be a part of that, but I never wanted DS to use a bottle, especially since its not due to some extreme circumstance making it necessary.

So he's involved but not in the exact way you want him to be? If you have resentment about what he does/doesn't do then you need to talk to him.
And she is reducing her husband to general population.

Lurker and not thread related....but it looks like the chest clip on your cars eat is too low. Mine was too until I read that it should be at armpit level so I always slid it all the way up now. It can do damage in a wreck if too low. Sorry if this is annoying and it is just camera angle but I was glad someone told me.

ally2011 · August 2013

measton8809 said:

Jellybean902 said:

I've tried to get DH involved... And he is, in a lot of ways but he also skips out on a lot of other opportunities and I feel that's his fault. I've made DH responsible for tummy time, and he likes that. I'm consistently trying to get DH to hold DS and when I had him over, DH takes him and holds him, talks to him, sings to him, etc. DH also does diaper changes. But DH also kept talking about wanting to babywear. He picked out the mei tai carrier almost two weeks ago and has yet to use it. He leaves for work at 2:30 pm and it's his decision to not wake up until 2:00 pm to have JUST enough time to get ready to leave for work instead of waking up earlier in the day to spend time with his son. And it's him who is glued to the TV in the middle of the night and doesn't take care of DS unless I physically put him in DH's arms. So.... It is in no way that I have no heart for him wanting to be involved. I've tried to create ways for him to be involved. Some opportunities he takes and others he blows. I will ask him what it is about feeding DS that matters so much, but I'm glad there's a few other moms on an attachment parenting board that understand the importance of EBFing. Once DS starts solid foods at 6-8 months, anyone can be a part of that, but I never wanted DS to use a bottle, especially since its not due to some extreme circumstance making it necessary.

So he's involved but not in the exact way you want him to be? If you have resentment about what he does/doesn't do then you need to talk to him.
And she is reducing her husband to general population.
Lurker and not thread related....but it looks like the chest clip on your cars eat is too low. Mine was too until I read that it should be at armpit level so I always slid it all the way up now. It can do damage in a wreck if too low. Sorry if this is annoying and it is just camera angle but I was glad someone told me.
Thanks for the tip. We raised it after that picture was taken. Now it's proper height. I appreciate someone looking after my girl.

I hate commenting on pics b/c I loosen my DDs sometimes if we are on an errand and not in the car (like if it is in the main part of the grocery cart...not where she could fall) so she can stretch a little more and I have taken pics like that....and of course if I posted those ones I would likely get a comment even though that is never how she is when we are driving. So I hesitate to say anything as I am sure others do the same, but still tend to err on the side of baby safety even if it makes me look like a nosey a__

sugarbear0524 · August 2013

measton8809 said:

I've made DH responsible for tummy time, and he likes that.
You aren't the boss. You're not assigning tasks to an employee. You're parenting together and it takes conversations to do it successfully.

I totally agree. You may have the ability to breastfeed, but that doesn't give you the right to delegate tasks or make all the parenting decisions. Don't treat him like an employee or a child who doesn't know what he's doing. He will become resentful. His vote counts too.

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