Got into it with another mom sigh

Monsieur_et_Madame_Ha · August 2013

I got into it with another mom at my cardio stroller class this morning. Or more precisely, I got laid into. Hard. I'm still shaking just thinking about it.

Long story short, Baby Boy does ok for the first part of the class, but more often than not, he gets pissed once we stop moving (so about 20 minutes toward the end). This morning was no exception. One of the moms offered to hold him, but I declined. I've already tried every trick I could think of, and nothing works aside from leaving the class. So I let him cry. Which really didn't sit well with that other mom.

She didn't tell me right away though. It was only when I overheard her bitching to the instructor (poor instructor, WTF is she supposed to do anyways?) about me that things got ugly. I went up to her and asked if she had something she'd like to tell me. She started telling me how not normal this was, how horrible I was for letting my baby cry that way, that babies don't just cry without a reason (hey Baby Boy was crying for a reason: he was pissed and wanted to go home - I just wasn't ready to that just yet) etc.

I told her he was **my** child and I knew him best and that he was fine. I reminded her that earlier on when classes first started, I did in fact try to calm him down, and that nothing worked, which is why I just let him be now. She gave me the "my mom is a doctor" speech, then the "you are his mother (for christ sake)" speech, and a few choice others. It was awesome (not)

I just told her again that he was my child and I knew him best and to just mind her own business. I may or may not told her something about how you don't see me bitching her out for strapping her kid all kinds of wrong in her stroller, though. But other than that, I think I handled it well enough to at least not make an ass of myself.

But really, I am just so angry right now. I am angry at her for attacking me and questioning my parenting the way she did. And for doing it in front of the class, too. And for trying to drag our instructor into this. And also, hello awkwardness come next class.

And of course, I can't help but wonder "what if she is right?" I've always been of the mind that a little bout of crying twice a week (I go Wednesdays and Fridays) wasn't going to kill him. But maybe even that is too much and I actually am being selfish? I don't know. *sigh*

I'm just so rattled right now. As a mother, one of the worst things someone can say to you is that you are doing a bad job as a parent, and that is exactly what that other mom did to me this morning.

Thanks for letting me vent. Here's a cookie for your trouble.

JaysonandKristin · August 2013

I can't. I just can't.

Not her place. Not even close. Her mother may be a doctor, but as a doctor, she's still only one mind. There are countless parenting philosophies all backed by one medical mind or another. Her throwing that in there is so juvenile.

I say, screw it! Go on Friday, and just do what you've been doing. There's no need to feel shameful about the decisions that you make as a mother. Did you rehash this with Mr. Ha yet?

What did he have to say? Was he taken aback by the fact that you let his precious baby fuss for 20 minutes?

Women like her will play martyr and be held hostage by their children's behaviors until their kids are grown. You are not that kind of mother.

Good for you for confronting her.

fancefpp · August 2013

You are NOT a bad mom! Don't let that dbag get in your head. As long as baby boy wasn't hungry or hurt, a little crying isn't going to hurt him. She should feel awkward next class because she attacked you for a stupid reason....babies cry! My DS2 cries every time we get into the car. Should I not drive anymore? Please don't feel like you are doing something wrong!

ohyeahdollface · August 2013

Kudos for standing up to her!

I say go the next time, and hold that chin up! You are an amazing mother, and I know you would never do anything that would harm your children. A little bit of fussing is normal, hes a baby!

<333

Duffgurl · August 2013

Sometimes people just like to stick there nose in when it is not needed. I think you should go to your next class. You know your LO better than anyone else. As long as he is not hungry or hurt he should be fine. If the crying just gets out of hand leave or handle it the way you would at home or any other place. Good for you for standing up for yourself and your LO. ::big hugs::

melissa0726 · August 2013

I'm so glad that you said something to her! Good for you!! She can think whatever she wants, but who the hell is she to actually say something to the instructor in front of everyone??

Babies cry. Sometimes it's just out of frustration and to relieve tension, and if you've tried everything else, there's nothing you can do but let them go until they're good and done. But I'm not telling you anything you don't already know. Don't let her get to you! ((hugs))

homediva · August 2013

Oh my. I can't believe she said something. My friend and I used to do Stroller Fit and I know exactly what it is like! We used to call it Stroller FIT because the kids would always throw fits. May I point out that my friend, whom I did the class with IS A DOCTOR and her little one was always crying by the end. If you let him cry a couple times he will probably realize "hey, this isn't so bad, and crying is getting me nowhere." that other girl had no business calling you out. You've probably tried this but I found bringing snacks helped....and would usually throw a carrier into this stroller and switch him to that for the end of the class. Hello extra weight = better workout! That girl needs to eff right off!

Monsieur_et_Madame_Ha · August 2013

Thanks ladies. I'm still pretty shaken, to tell the truth.

I am not quitting that class, though. In the future, I might leave before the end, though. I don't know. Or I think i will tell her to call CPS on me if she really is that concerned. Ha!

Monsieur_et_Madame_Ha · August 2013

5953fpp said:

My DS2 cries every time we get into the car. Should I not drive anymore? Please don't feel like you are doing something wrong!

That's what I was trying to get her to understand, but she just couldn't. ugh

BnchaNums · August 2013

I'm shaking for you. What an asshole. Keep on keepin on, you're doing great.

NotSharknado · August 2013

Fuck her and the horse she strolled in on. Don't you dare let this ass make you feel like you are doing something bad.

I say go to the class and if baby boy cries, then so be it. If you don't go you are letting her think she's right. And she's not.

Hold me back, Imma cut a bitch.

eatmorecupcakes · August 2013

Am I the only one who is imagining this whole convo in French? It makes the other mom even biitchier to me for some reason. She can go kick rocks.

ladybugpjb · August 2013

eatmorecupcakes said:

Am I the only one who is imagining this whole convo in French? It makes the other mom even biitchier to me for some reason. She can go kick rocks.

Nope - I did, too.

MHa, I am so sorry this happened to you.

buckyfan30 · August 2013

I hate when other Moms do that. Someone once tried to teach her child about sharing and used my child as an example. Ds was 17 Mo old at the time and because he didn't want to share she asked me if he was in a daycare because that should help...yes he's in daycare you stupid lady!

JaysonandKristin · August 2013

buckyfan30 said:
I hate when other Moms do that. Someone once tried to teach her child about sharing and used my child as an example. Ds was 17 Mo old at the time and because he didn't want to share she asked me if he was in a daycare because that should help...yes he's in daycare you stupid lady!

That good ol' scientific evidence that proves daycare kids = good sharers. Pppffffftt!!
Stupid lady indeed.

MandiNewMommy · August 2013

Sounds like you handled it very well! Not sure I would have been as calm, and cool about it. I say do what you feel is best. Go to class and try to enjoy!