UO: Unpopular Opinion

AcaAwkward · August 2013

Let 'em rip!

Enami · August 2013

I'm pro-choice.

Emily041285 · August 2013

I'm going to come right out and say it....I don't like the bachelor. I mean, what makes you think you're going to find true love on a tv show? And why does the entire world get so upset when two weeks after the show airs so and so is cheating on the other in people magazine? You really thought that was going to last? Really?

Whew. I feel so much better.

Stasi · August 2013

Enami said:

I'm pro-choice.

I agree, although I'm not sure that this qualifies as an unpopular opinion (when considering # of people who agree with this statement...like 50/50)

It'll start an interesting conversation nonetheless, ballsy!

maelic · August 2013

I sure as hell hope that's not an unpopular opinion, Enami!

Stasi · August 2013

(I used this one in S12 too)

I eye roll when people say they are going to pick a few names and wait to see which one fits the baby when they are born. Babies comes out all swollen and red and smash faced (sometimes).

I do not know how you can look at that and think "you're totally an Ella and NOT a Sophia like we thought you might be"

**names were chosen at random**

maelic · August 2013

I hate parents who say they want to know the sex of the baby so they can "prepare". Prepare for what? It'll eat and poop the same.

The pink and blue mania makes me want to throw things. Let your children be children, why do you need to force gender conformity on them right from the start? TV and advertising will do it soon enough.

Enami · August 2013

maelic said:

I sure as hell hope that's not an unpopular opinion, Enami!

On a site with so many women that are having trouble conceiving and miscarrying, I've seen a lot of posts against women who choose to abort for one reason or another. We considered it right after we found out we were pregnant with DS, I heard a lot of "just be happy you can have a baby without going through all of this". Maybe the climate here has changed since then.

GrinAndBarrett · August 2013

I don't like the beach. Sand gets everywhere and into everything. I detest putting on suntan lotion, but if I don't I know my pale a** will burn. I don't like being hot. I don't like swimming in the ocean. I don't like feeling dirty all day. Yet, I married into a family that adores the beach and goes every summer for two weeks. Sign me up for a trip to mountains any day!

nikki912 · August 2013

Pro-choice. I believe a lot of people's decisions are based on religious beliefs and that has no place in our government.

MamaFantastic · August 2013

oh boy, i'm going to unleash the floodgates.

i believe spanking can be an effective means of punishment when applied in conjunction with consistently applied rules and loving positive attention. (that said, we stopped spanking our kiddo awhile ago because we realized it wasn't working for him - but i will definitely consider using it again when he's older if we think it would be helpful).

maelic · August 2013

If anything, I've become even more pro-choice since I got pregnant. The idea that a woman could be forced to carry a child she didn't want is revolting to me.

ashtonblair123 · August 2013

oh boy, i'm going to unleash the floodgates.

i believe spanking can be an effective means of punishment when applied in conjunction with consistently applied rules and loving positive attention. (that said, we stopped spanking our kiddo awhile ago because we realized it wasn't working for him - but i will definitely consider using it again when he's older if we think it would be helpful).

I totally agree with you. So many kids would be better if there was some punishment.

ashtonblair123 · August 2013

Well, it seems this is a fairly pro choice discussion. I can't understand how you can look at abortion and not see a murdered baby. I just can't get on board with that.

nikki912 · August 2013

I'm also a big opposer to gender conformity. With that said ill happily let my son play with barbies, buy him a baby doll, and paint his nails if he asks. However the pink sparkly sneakers he picked out I let him try on but geared him towards a more "boy" choice. Because while I'm comfortable with it the world isn't yet and id hate to use my child as a tool in my own agenda. It would only hurt him.

xilovemybabiesx · August 2013

@ashtonblair123 I completely agree with you on this one.

ashtonblair123 · August 2013

My UO: I think ADD is almost always just an excuse for a bad child.

Stasi · August 2013

Enami said:

maelic said:

I sure as hell hope that's not an unpopular opinion, Enami!

On a site with so many women that are having trouble conceiving and miscarrying, I've seen a lot of posts against women who choose to abort for one reason or another. We considered it right after we found out we were pregnant with DS, I heard a lot of "just be happy you can have a baby without going through all of this". Maybe the climate here has changed since then.

(just trying to get this straight) I don't think people, in general, that have infertility issues would judge someone who got pregnant and chose to terminate that pregnancy just because they are struggling to get pregnant...

Is that what you are going for in this UO?

ksulli · August 2013

Enami said:

maelic said:

I sure as hell hope that's not an unpopular opinion, Enami!

On a site with so many women that are having trouble conceiving and miscarrying, I've seen a lot of posts against women who choose to abort for one reason or another. We considered it right after we found out we were pregnant with DS, I heard a lot of "just be happy you can have a baby without going through all of this". Maybe the climate here has changed since then.

I had needed hormonal treatments to concieve and suffered a miscarriage, and came out of the whole experience solidly pro-choice although before it I wasn't firmly planted on either side.

MamaFantastic · August 2013

I'm very very pro life. In general, I fall very conservatively on most social and political matters.

KNSATX · August 2013

I love asking people who drink cows' milk if they'd ever drink human breast milk and watch them get grossed out and lose their minds. It makes absolutely no sense to me that women who have carried and delivered babies, and have been through breast feeding, can not see the parallels. Non-human milk isn't meant for humans. Cows' milk is for baby cows. Period.

Enami · August 2013

@ashtonblair123 I guess because I don't see a fetus as a baby. It has the potential to be a baby, but until it can survive on the outside, it seems more like a parasite. And the choice is up to me whether to nurture the potential or not. But I also don't have the religious views most people do, nor do I believe the child has a soul from the moment of conception. But I was very much pro-life until my unplanned pregnancy, because, like you, all I saw we're dead children. I couldn't identify with what their mothers were going through. Now I can. @nikki912 DS has a baby doll he takes everywhere, even the grocery store. I've only ever had one person comment, and it was to ask if it was an American Girl Doll.

nikki912 · August 2013

@ashtonblair123 as someone who used to work with special needs kids ADD does definitely have real diagnostic criteria (I know you weren't arguing against that). Those kids however are easy spot out compared to the crap heads with parents who don't know how to discipline and a psychiatrist who is diagnosis and prescription happy. Those kids were worse to deal with than the kids with actual ADD.

CalinAZ · August 2013

ashtonblair123 said:

My UO: I think ADD is almost always just an excuse for a bad child.

As a teacher, I would very much disagree, especially if you are saying ADD versus ADHD (though both are rough). Students I've had with these conditions literally cannot focus to save their life. I had one with ADD who would just stare like a deer in headlights, completely stressed, all day every day in class, despite every minute having me gently reminding him to focus. It would take him the entire after-school time until he went to bed to do his homework and he still wouldn't finish. Mom refused to look into any treatments for him and he used to cry all the time because he felt so different from the other kids and was always so stressed. Another child I taught had ADHD and could not control his body/mouth to save his life. He was an incredibly bright child but if he didn't take his medication would be unable to complete any assignment. It was not because these kids were bad. Their brains do not work the same as someone without these conditions.

That said, I've been reading more about how diet and environment can develop these disorders and how changes in those can help to lessen the symptoms. But, saying they aren't real makes no sense if you have ever spent 6 hours a day with a child like that. I can't think of any ADD/ADHD kid I've had that has ever seemed purposeful or malicious in his/her behavior.

ashtonblair123 · August 2013

LalaMama81 said:

ashtonblair123 said:

oh boy, i'm going to unleash the floodgates.

i believe spanking can be an effective means of punishment when applied in conjunction with consistently applied rules and loving positive attention. (that said, we stopped spanking our kiddo awhile ago because we realized it wasn't working for him - but i will definitely consider using it again when he's older if we think it would be helpful).
I totally agree with you. So many kids would be better if there was some punishment.

So hitting your kid is the only way to discipline? I have never hit my kids and they have plenty of discipline.

Are there kids out there w/o discipline? Sure. But hitting them isn't a magic cure-all.

No, hitting is only one form of punishment. And of course, you should beat them. But if they won't behave and you can't get get them too with other punishments, by all means a spanking (hard enough to sting a little) wont be bad for them. I got spankings growing up, but not very many. I think punishments should e a mixture of things that work for each specific child.

Enami · August 2013

Stasi said:

Enami said:

maelic said:

I sure as hell hope that's not an unpopular opinion, Enami!

On a site with so many women that are having trouble conceiving and miscarrying, I've seen a lot of posts against women who choose to abort for one reason or another. We considered it right after we found out we were pregnant with DS, I heard a lot of "just be happy you can have a baby without going through all of this". Maybe the climate here has changed since then.

(just trying to get this straight) I don't think people, in general, that have infertility issues would judge someone who got pregnant and chose to terminate that pregnancy just because they are struggling to get pregnant...

Is that what you are going for in this UO?

Absolutely not. It's just my experiences here that led me to believe it was an UO. I honestly feel terrible for anyone struggling with IF and can't imagine what they must be going through, just as I couldn't imagine what a woman dealing with an unplanned pregnancy went through until I was that person.

Mamamonzo · August 2013

ashtonblair123 said:
My UO: I think ADD is almost always just an excuse for a bad child.

Sadly it is, or people medicate right away. I was diagnosed when I was 21 and it changed my entire college career. I managed to Get through high school with decent grades but graduated with honors from college after being on academic probation my first semester. I was never a problem child and my teachers never once suggested it to my parents.

sugarrush · August 2013

im just lookin for some clarification on of the purpose of a UO thread. Perhaps I am just too new for TB, but is the point to state your unpopular opinion and have people fight you over it? Or is it just for others to read, maybe get a chuckle (or get angry) and then move on? Because i'm all sittin here initially thinking to post "I really dislike Andy on Big Brother" and then im reading all this other crazy intense stuff.

Just a newb lookin for clarification

MamaFantastic · August 2013

LalaMama81 said:
So hitting your kid is the only way to discipline? I have never hit my kids and they have plenty of discipline.

Are there kids out there w/o discipline? Sure. But hitting them isn't a magic cure-all.

who said that? i very carefully worded my original post to say that i think spanking CAN be an effective punishment tool (among many others, of course) when applied with love (i.e. not in anger in the moment... when applied calmly and consistently based on the offense) and when surrounded by love and attention and positive reinforcement. to elaborate, this includes deciding whether or not the individual child has a personality that would handle that form of punishment well.

your statement "hitting your kid is the only way to discipline" clearly shows you didn't absorb the intended message of my first post.

again - we don't spank our kid. we realized it didn't work for him and rather than stick dogmatically to our "pro spanking" guns, we moved in a different direction because that's what was best for our kiddo and our family (and our sanity!). i will stand 100% behind my statement that spanking can work for specific kids when the environment and the parents are appropriate. we can agree to disagree, and i'm definitely not trying to change your mind (hey, that's why i posted it as an UO... i know i'm in the minority here!) but i felt compelled to correct you because your blanket statement about your assessment of my UO was not accurate whatsoever, or representative of what i actually said. you're certainly entitled to your own opinion, but please don't misrepresent mine.

nikki912 · August 2013

@Lalamama81
There is research in support and against. Just like everything else. Personally all the parents I know who are avidly against spanking have crappy kids. BUT I also know a few who use spanking for everything and their kids are crappy too. It really is something that should be child specific and never over-used. To each their own!

Serenla · August 2013

karissamonzo said:

ashtonblair123 said:
My UO: I think ADD is almost always just an excuse for a bad child.
Sadly it is, or people medicate right away. I was diagnosed when I was 21 and it changed my entire college career. I managed to Get through high school with decent grades but graduated with honors from college after being on academic probation my first semester. I was never a problem child and my teachers never once suggested it to my parents.

I do not think it is an excuse for having a bad kid. I think people just jump to the medication side. I was also diagnosed when I was 12 and put on meds right away. It was not a problem until college when I became depressed and suicidal. I ended up doing some research into adhd meds and found that it can cause, you guessed it, suicidal tendencies in young adults. Which prompts my UO I suppose.

We medicate waaaaay to quickly instead of trying finding a more natural way to solve problems. Sometimes meds are needed but it shouldn't be the first thing we do.

Edit, spelling.

BeeBee08 · August 2013

Sugar Rush said:

im just lookin for some clarification on of the purpose of a UO thread. Perhaps I am just too new for TB, but is the point to state your unpopular opinion and have people fight you over it? Or is it just for others to read, maybe get a chuckle (or get angry) and then move on? Because i'm all sittin here initially thinking to post "I really dislike Andy on Big Brother" and then im reading all this other crazy intense stuff.

Just a newb lookin for clarification

I really dislike Andy on Big Brother too. Actually, I don't like anybody that is left. Maybe Aaryn, but she should have made a bigger move last night. But I don't dislike Andy as much as Amanda.

nikki912 · August 2013

@lalamamma81
https://m.now.msn.com/spanking-not-harmful-if-children-feel-loved-study-finds
https://www.thenewamerican.com/culture/family/item/548-new-study-finds-spanking-is-good-for-kids
https://mobile.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2012/07/spanking_and_mental_illness_a_new_study_does_not_link_the_two_.html?original_referrer=https://www.google.com/

If you had read my post more clearly I said "personally" which implies my own personal experience which could of course not include you since I don't know you.

sugarrush · August 2013

BeeBee08 said:

I really dislike Andy on Big Brother too. Actually, I don't like anybody that is left. Maybe Aaryn, but she should have made a bigger move last night. But I don't dislike Andy as much as Amanda.

Yes!! That's what we've been saying too -- ever since Judd left, we were like "okay now who do we root for?" We haven't really been overly connected to anyone this season. I originally liked Helen until she turned into this crazy mastermind control freak, kinda like Amanda 2.0! I hated Aaryn up until the point where she legit felt bad for getting rid of Judd. Why everyone in the house hasn't made McCrae and Amanda targets is baffling to me!

AcaAwkward · August 2013

maelic said:
I hate parents who say they want to know the sex of the baby so they can "prepare". Prepare for what? It'll eat and poop the same.

The pink and blue mania makes me want to throw things. Let your children be children, why do you need to force gender conformity on them right from the start? TV and advertising will do it soon enough.

Not everyone who wants to decorate or purchase clothes with a specific sex in mind is going overboard with pink ruffles and blue trains. I am not a girly-girl mom. My daughter's room is bright turquoise, she loves playing with trucks, and we don't even own a doll (although, if she showed interest, I'd surely buy her an appropriate one - as I would a boy).

That said, there were only so many yellow duck onesies and green frog sleepers I could stomach, and many gender neutral nurseries are a bit boring to me.

Empireceo · August 2013

ColleenSwerb said:

Oh, here's one. I hate the bump badges. I don't care how you gave birth (all natural! Water! CS proud!), I don't care how you feed your child, I don't care about any of the other nonsense badges that are out there (proud pouch feeder? Who the f!ck cares?!). They come across as very judgey and "I'm better than you because of x/y/z".

Ha, I guess this doesn't apply to birth month badges though?

Speaking of UOs, pro-choice Catholic here who also waited to find out what DS was until he was born and got an onslaught of incredulous comments from just about every family member/stranger who asked me. If you're planning on having more than one kid, wtf is the point of getting blue or pink stuff?

AcaAwkward · August 2013

ColleenSwerb said:
Oh, here's one.
I hate the bump badges. I don't care how you gave birth (all natural! Water! CS proud!), I don't care how you feed your child, I don't care about any of the other nonsense badges that are out there (proud pouch feeder? Who the f!ck cares?!). They come across as very judgey and "I'm better than you because of x/y/z".

Proud Pouch Feeder??? Bwahahaha, that just gave me a good chuckle!

I'm with you - hate the badges.

BeeBee08 · August 2013

@SugarRush, I agree with you 100%. I was really rooting for Judd and I think they're all going to feel like a-holes when they watch this. He wasn't involved in ANY of the schemes that they accused him of. That was crazy.

Andrewsgal · August 2013

If you truly believe there is research to back up hitting your kid you have never done research. There is zero scientifically backed research to spank your child. In general I assume parents that hit their kids just don't have the tools or techniques to effectively dicipline their children. I think it is amazing that If I hit my husband I will go to jail, but hitting my kid is fine?

You can think abortion is wrong, I don't care, but you have no right to take that choice from me. Keep your anti choice propaganda to yourself.

The whole gender thing is a joke to me. People get on a stupid no pink and blue high horse. It is the new in thing. You can not push gender sterotypes without making it your own personal political statement.

AcaAwkward · August 2013

Re: spanking - I think it can have it's place, but I also think too many parents are One-Size-Fits-All Discipline (that applies to all types of discipline, not just spanking) to their children's detriment. What works with one child might not work with another, and I think it's much more beneficial to really dissect each child's personality before deciding on appropriate and effective punishments.

Andrewsgal · August 2013

nikki912 said:

@lalamamma81 https://m.now.msn.com/spanking-not-harmful-if-children-feel-loved-study-finds https://www.thenewamerican.com/culture/family/item/548-new-study-finds-spanking-is-good-for-kids https://mobile.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2012/07/spanking_and_mental_illness_a_new_study_does_not_link_the_two_.html?original_referrer=https://www.google.com/ If you had read my post more clearly I said "personally" which implies my own personal experience which could of course not include you since I don't know you.

Where is the actual study? It's funny there is basically zero information about the actual study in that article.

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