Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
flcl
member
Re: unexpected pregnancy & friendship issues
TTGP Jan Siggy Challenge: Workout Fails
So THAT's how you get into baby-making position!
I wouldn't say anything about what she posts. She still wants to remain childless and she is entitled to her feelings and opinions.
However, I wouldn't tolerate her telling your mutual friends and especially your husband that she is mad at you and the baby. Honestly, I would talk to her about it but I also wouldn't let her berate you either. You changed your mind, simple as that.
If I were you, I would keep an eye on her and have strong boundaries. If she proves to be kind and respectful of your decision, then great; but if she is continues to give you a hard time, I would seriously reconsider having her as a friend.
Sweetie, I'm sorry but this isn't a friend. Why are you bending over backwards to make her happy? You need to stop it and gather some self respect. How old is she anyways ? She has the mentality of a middle schooler and really high maintenance. I am also willing to bet that most of your friendship has been one sided anyways.
Seriously, let this one go. Some people grow apart and that is ok. One woman I was very good friends with in high school, I don't talk to anymore. As we grew older the more I realized I didn't enjoy her company and found talking to her exhausting. I too had to walk on eggshells because she seemed to always take offense at the smallest things ? So I slowly ended the friendship and don't regret it either.
Yes, it's true that your pregnancy has changed the relationship, but it's not your "fault". Your pregnancy simply showed some very upsetting traits that you wouldn't have otherwise seen/felt.
It's understandable that she would be wary of how your pregnancy will change your friendship, but a mature adult would discuss that with you. That she misses you. Then talk about the changes you're going through.
One of my friends has drifted away since I got married. She isn't married, has never had a serious boyfriend, has no kids... basically we're living totally different lives. There's nothing wrong with that, it's sad of course, the end of an era, but you can't force a relationship to work when there's so much wrong with it.
So yes, I'm for drifting away as friends. I think someone so negative, someone unable to share your joy... isn't someone that you want in your or your child's life
My aunt and her husband have chosen not to have children......but she loves to spoil my DD! She was a little opinionated about her decision not to have kids while I was pregnant, but Miss "A" won her over.......maybe your friend will see that getting to play with your little one without the late night crying sessions isn't the worst thing ever,
It is ok to call her out though. If you have to honor her opinion, then she needs to honor yours.
BFP 6/15/14 EDD: 2/24/15
BFP 6/15/14 EDD: 2/24/15
I finally got the guts to tell her how I feel about the comments she's been making. She responded exactly like how I thought she would. This girl has definitely mastered the art of blaming others yet somehow making everything about herself.
She stated that she's not going to stop voicing her opinions on pregnancy and having children because those are her feelings. That's fine, I wasn't asking her to do that. I just wanted to know that some of her negative comments towards me were hurtful. She then asked for examples of specific comments.... I knew this was a slippery slope, but I gave her a couple (I hate pregnant people, you and your stupid baby). She tells me that I'm the reason why she said those comments, they were jokes and that she wouldn't have said them if it weren't for me. Her final statement was, "sorry I make you uncomfortable, apparently I'm just a shitty friend to everyone". It's pretty clear that she's doesn't care to take responsibility for her hurtful words. I've decided to stop communicating with her at this point.
On one hand, I'm sad that this happened to our friendship. On the other hand, I'll have a lot negativity to deal with in my life! Thanks to all the PPs for your time and advice!
I have a feeling that maybe your friend is just feeling insecure about your friendship, and maybe needs some reassurance that you will still be around for her when baby comes. She might end up loving your child as much as you do.
Edit: Well, I just read that you talked to her about it. So sorry about losing your friend. But I will say, don't cross her friendship out completely. She may just come around after you have the baby and she realizes that accepting you and your baby wont get HER pregnant. Hahaha! Good on your for confronting her and defending yourself though.
BFP 6/15/14 EDD: 2/24/15
You're probably right that she may end up loving my child after it's born. I guess that's not really my concern. I know that it may sound weird that I'm saying this but I don't need her to love my baby, I just need her to be a supportive friend who doesn't ask me to defend myself when she says things that I find hurtful. My concern is how to remain friends with someone who clearly doesn't care about my feelings and constantly puts blame on others for her words and actions. I support that she doesn't want kids and completely understand where she's coming from. I'm fine with her telling me how horribly disgusting she thinks it is to be pregnant, give birth and raise children. It stings though when she starts saying negative things about me being pregnant or makes comments about my "stupid baby". I get that this is difficult for her, I'm the last one of her closest friends without children. As painful as it was for me to hear a friend say those things to me, our friends and my husband, I don't really blame her. It just bothers me that she blames me for feeling hurt.