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crying- new baby

brittasbrittas member
in Attachment Parenting
Hi to all! So I never let DS cry for long. Now he is 2 and DD is here (she is almost 3 weeks). I feel like I let her cry much more than DS. Because I have a toddler to take care of, and she is more fussy than he was, I find myself being in the middle of something when she begins crying. I've never let her cry for more than 5 minutes, but I feel like I am being a bad mom. Sometimes she will fuss a little, then fall asleep. This isn't considered crying it out, right?

I feel a little guilty that I can't give her my undivided attention like I did with my first child. Any tips or advice or support would be much appreciated. 
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Re: crying- new baby

  • Emerald27Emerald27 member
    When you're juggling the needs of more than one child, you just do your best. :) You're a great mom who obviously loves both her LOs a lot!

    If you can anticipate her fussing for you while you're with the 2 year old, could you wear her in a sling/wrap/mei tai, etc., so that she is being snuggled and can be easily nursed if she becomes upset? At least that would leave you hands free to help the toddler. ;)

    Also, if the 2-year-old can tolerate something like; "Mommy will be right back. I need to pick up your sister." and can wait for you to get her and put her in a carrier, it would be setting a good example for the toddler to show that mommys need to respond to babies' cries quickly and with love. Maybe he can help you meet her needs too (pick an outfit, fetch diaper or wipes, choose a toy)! :)

    And if the toddler struggles with the time it takes when you nurse, maybe saving a special activity for him for just while the baby eats, even that involves you in some way, like reading a book, can help him through it.
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  • Pookers7Pookers7
    I second the idea of a carrier. My eldest is 3, so she's a bit easier to talk to about it but I can't stand hearing baby cry. This baby is definitely less intense than big sister but she can't stand being put down for an instant. So, carrier it is. I think it is a good learning experience for the older one and it definitely helps to have the big one "help" the little one. We've had a few talks about how I did all these things for her when she was little and she loves it. We went through all her old baby pictures and talked about it. "See how I held you while you were sleeping? I'm changing your diaper here!" She can't feel jealous if she knows she had the same treatment. She brings toys to her little sister and give her hugs and such when she's crying now. If she doesn't stop, she'll say "Mommy, H is crying, put her in the sling!" or my favorite:" H is hungry! Give her your boooooob!"
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  • cyprissacyprissa member
    Yeah I second the carrier and the special activity for your toddler. We have Melissa and Doug reusable sticker books that we play with when I'm nursing DS2.
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