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D.C. Area Babies
baby in the crib from the beginning?
Is it unrealistic for me to expect our baby to sleep in his crib from the beginning? I hear a lot about co-sleeping, but I just don't see that working for me and I am going to try to avoid it.
If your baby slept in the crib from the beginning can you give me some tips for when the time comes?
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Re: baby in the crib from the beginning?
We had our son in the bassinet in our room the first few months and then moved him to his crib in his room.
I didn't want to co-sleep, but I wanted him in the same room. It was convenient those first few weeks when he ate every 2-3 hours. Also, I was paranoid about him at first and felt better having him right next to me.
Every baby is different and ever family is different. You may have no problem having him in the crib from the start. If that's all he knows, he may not object.
My only caution is to be flexible. I have friends who wanted a bassinet in their room and ended up having the baby in the crib from day one for various reasons and people who swore they'd never co-sleep who found that it worked for them. It's hard to know what will work until your baby is here.
Maggie slept in the PnP or crib from the beginning. The first two weeks were the PnP in the living room because I couldn't do the stairs too easily after the c-section. After that, night sleep was in the crib and day sleep was in the swing, although while her reflux was an issue it was often sleeping in my arms.
I think you can try what you would like to work for your family and then if that doesn't work try the other options. We wanted her in the crib from the start and since she never latched on after my milk came in, there wasn't much of a co-sleeping benefit since she was on bottles and I had to get up to pump anyway (one co-sleeping benefit is easy night time BFing). So that is what we tried first. Now at times we co-slept for naps because that was the only way she would go longer than 20 minutes but she outgrew that. Also in the beginning when her reflux was a problem the swing often worked best, especially during the day for naps so we used that alot. So we just went with what worked best at that particular time and figured we'd worry about any consequences later.
I also worried a lot about putting her to bed drowsy but not asleep like the sleep books recommend but that just wasn't happening for us. I rocked her to sleep until she pushed me away at 8mo and then we started putting her to bed awake and letting her fall asleep on her own and it still worked out.
I thought my sister was CRAZY for not having her son sleep in his cradel or crib...The kid slept in his bouncy seat for the first couple of months!
Turns out he slept there because that was the one place he didn't fuss all night...he had reflux and needed to be propped up and the mattress wedge wasn't enough.
Long story short...who knows where they end up.
I would like a crib sleeper...but really I am hoping for a good sleeper.
Our DS has essentially done this. We started him in the PNP in our room, because I thought that it would be easier since I was BFing. But, he was super noisy, so he kept us awake, and pulling him into bed to nurse caused me to fall asleep with him still there.
DS has slept in his room since he was 3 weeks old. He didn't seem to have any problems with the transition to his crib. He wasn't really a sleeper until he was over 3 months old though, and didn't STTN until he was 6 months.
sam78 is right for the younger babies - but once they are 3 months and up, you really need to give them the opportunity to start putting themselves to sleep if you can. if jules falls asleep while feeding, i wake her before putting her in the crib so she knows where she's going.
people may disagree, but i say if you don't want to cosleep, you won't cosleep. bottom line. it was not something my husband or i wanted, and it was tough in the beginning, but we made it through.
We planned on having him in the crib from the beginning, but ended up borrowing a bassinet (even though we didn't think we'd use it much) and used it for about the first 6-7 weeks because I was too paranoid to have him in another room ( I was terrified he would stop breathing). He also has reflux and we were able to get a better angle in the bassinet than the crib (if we angle the mattress in the crib too much, we find him upside down or head at the foot board, because he wiggles and there is too much room vs the bassinet where he didn't have enough room to do that, and our ped. doesn't recommend the sleep wedge things). So, for now (since the last few weeks), he's sleeping in his baby papasan chair for the most part and we try to set him in the crib for at least one stretch in the night if possible. Part of the problem with the crib is that he often throws up in it.
I've also heard or read somewhere (can't remember where) that some babies don't adjust well to the wide open space of the crib after birth and being used to the confines of the womb. However, I suspect that if you use the crib from day 1 and swaddle (which calms them anyway), the baby will have an easier time adjusting.
thanks for all you opinions and advice...it's all very helpful :-)
I guess I'm not so much set on him sleeping in the crib as I am just having him not sleeping in our bedroom. But I know I need to be flexible either way. Thanks again!!
I know I'm late, but I'll respond anyway
We did not want to co-sleep with DD in our bed. We would have literally had to buy a new bed b/c it would have been so hard to make ours safe for co-sleeping. That and DH is the worldn't HEAVIEST sleeper and neither of us was comfortable with the thought of him sleeping in the same bed as the baby. Seriously. The monitor is right next to his head and he almost never wakes up when she wakes, never has.
Anyway, that said, we decided to put the PnP with bassinet in our room at first... wanted her close by so I could check on her, make BFing easier, etc. Well, after 3 or so days of that we decided that it just wasn't working for us. I found it much more comfortable to BF her sitting in the glider (which is in the nursery) than I did in bed. And she made so much noise while she slept. I was up all night, even when she was sleeping, because I couldn't sleep through all her little noises. We moved her to her crib and never looked back.
Others mentioned swaddling to help the baby in the crib. I definitely agree with that. Also, we put her down so that she was laying right next to one of the short sides of the crib. That way she had crib sides on three sides (her head, her feet, and one of her sides) and vast open space just on one side. I think it helped her not be enveloped by lots of openness. HTH! Also, this doesn't really pertain to using a crib, but if you haven't seen the Happiest Baby on the Block DVD, I'd definitely suggest it. That was the best instruction "manual" for nice tight swaddling techniques (and other good info to calm baby). We borrowed it from the library before DD was born and I plan to do so again before this baby comes so that I can refresh my memory.
we had dd in a pack n play in our room for the first month because she had to be attached to the bililight for jaundice. she actually slept the first two nights in her crib and then we had the jaundice issue. but she was fine. if you dont mind taking some extra steps to their room, its not bad.
she has been in there since like 2 months and i wouldnt have it any other way! co sleeping was not for me..if i did it, it was the morning nap for an hour or so when she was younger. she will now only sleep in her crib.
as far as other tips, just stick with it. dont give in to it being easier for whatever reason. good luck!
It's worth mentioning that cosleeping doesn't necessarily mean bed sharing. So I guess you'll hear a lot about cosleeping, when in reality all those parents don't have the baby in bed with them. Cosleeping can be:
baby in bassinet in room
baby in crib sidecared to your bed
baby in crib in the same room as you
baby in a co-sleeper attached to your bed
baby in bed with you (bedsharing)
The AAP recommends some for of cosleeping/room sharing for the first 6 months as a SIDS risk reduction.
I'm a little late here, but I'll put in my $.02.
DD#1 slept in her crib in her own room with both our doors closed from the first night we brought her home from the hospital. We used a monitor to alert us of any issues and it worked out just great for us. She is a great sleeper to this day. Co-sleeping was sooo NOT on my list of to-do's, nor was sleeping in our room. She did great.
DD#2 was a lousy baby. She had colic from hell and perhaps some reflux issues too. However, we still insisted she sleep in her own crib (or at least in her own room). In our house, our bed is for DH and me - not kids. Period. I admit there were many nights where she just slept terribly in any location other than on our chests in the glider (but still in her own room!). But again, I think that was b/c of the reflux and her need to be elevated. Had we brought her to our bed, she still would have been laying flat and still miserable. Yes, it sucked for a while since DH and I weren't getting the best sleep. But I firmly believe that none of us would have slept any better if DD had slept anywhere else.
As the PPs have mentioned, every baby is different. You have to figure out what will work best for you and your family. And decide which battles you want to fight. Sleeping in the crib from day 1 worked for us with both our girls.
As far as tips, swaddling worked great for both my girls. Gave them that sense of security which helps in an otherwise "large" crib. If you have any other questions, feel free to ask.
Unfortunately the CPSC study (funded and influenced by JPMA and crib manufacturers) they use to come to that conclusion doesn't seperate safe co-sleeping practices (hard mattress, no pillows, duvet, soft bedding, non smoking mother, sleeping away from father in bed, using crib rail, and breastfeeding/not formula feeding) from unsafe (being left alone in bed, smoking mother, etc, etc) and their associated risk factors.
https://www.naturalchild.org/james_mckenna/cosleeping.pdf
hmm...yeah, there are a lot of variables. personally i'd never feel like it was a safe place for her, especially now that she is so mobile. i would never ever leave her alone in the bed without us there, that's for certain.
our daughter slept in her crib from day one. never had a problem. we use a baby monitor and have a seperate movement monitor for extra peace of mind. i am so glad we did this. so much easier for them to adjust to sleeping on their own when they are fresh. she is a great sleeper at night. her nursery is only a few steps away, so i get a good night sleep and so does she.