DH staying at the hospital

MMMiller · August 2013

This is really just a GTKY but I like to hear people's opinions on the matter. This is my second, with my first H was with me (of course) throughout the labor and until I could walk after the birth--it was around midnight at that point and I sent him home. From that point on he came to the hospital once in the mornings and once in the evenings to keep me company--but he would get so antsy (he can't stand just sitting around), he drove me nuts so usually I would just send him home. The nurses would actually comment, "Where is your husband? You don't have other children for him to take care of do you?" My husband is super supportive and we are absolutely his priority but I just don't understand who it benefits to have both of us coming home exhausted. This time, he will have to take care of my son while I'm in the hospital, so I will likely see him even less...unless there's some sort of issue of course. So what's your plan? Or what have you done in the past?

fluttergirlmoonchild79 · August 2013

When I had DS, DH was with me for a few days. DS was in the NICU for 11 days. Our hospital allows you to stay in your birthing room free of charge (after being discharged) if your child is in the NICU. After 4 or 5 days DH left and went back to work - figuring it would be better to save his days off for when I needed help at home, at the hospital I had a full staff. He would come for a few hours after work and then go home and spend time with the dog and sleep to then go to work. He stayed for longer over the weekend and stayed at the hospital with me one night. This time around we're hoping for no NICU stay so hopefully he'll just be staying the 2-3 nights at the hospital with me. My parents will be in town to take care of the dog.

lafsalot · August 2013

We live 2 minutes from the hospital, I am hoping that I will have a fairly quick labor and delivery, I would prefer to and DH home to sleep, but if I am in labor, I think I will want him there until after the birth and we are both checked out ok. Then off to the house to let puppies out, shower, get some rest and pece and quiet. Hospitals are lousy places to try and sleep, so my preference is he go home. I will sleep better if he is home I think. This is all subject to change if there are complications.

SweetLaura286 · August 2013

I will mostly want him with me except for trips home or to the store. I think I'd be really sad sleeping away from him just after giving birth

aliwisewoman · August 2013

DH stays with me the whole time. He is a bit crazy about it actually. LOL We had a 2 year old when I was pregnant last and my MIL and FIL stayed at our house with him. This time, I'm not exactly sure. I had asked my dad and stepmom but now there is a little drama on their end. I wasn't very happy with the way MIL handled things while I was at the hospital. So now I'm stuck. DH will not leave my side, even if I ordered him away.

Chargersgrl33 · August 2013

DH stayed with me the whole time last time. He would go home during the day but that was only if my Sister who was in town was with me. Then he would come back and stay at night.

This time around he isn't allowed to stay with me. He can only stay for visiting hours which are about 1 1/2 hours a day. It sucks but it's the joys of living in a foreign country.

hollowway · August 2013

N plans on staying at the hospital with me. I'm sure he will be able to get some sleep and help change diapers while there. BIL lives with us so he can watch the dogs.

beccaxbooxbear · August 2013

First time dh stayed the whole time. We spent a well in the hospital because ds was in the nicu. This time I plan on having dh stay with me atleast thru my labor and delivery. He will most likely go back to work a day or two after birth. Then I'm most likely going to stay with my mom for a week or two while I recover. Then dh is planning on taking a week off to be home with me and ds and lo one we're home so I get about 3 weeks support.

Ninjamama86 · August 2013

We haven't talked about it, but i'm 99.9% sure my husband will be with me the majority of the time. He may run home to shower and check on the dog, but I'll definitely have him staying over night with me and helping me with not only the baby but all the family and visitors.

Kim22 · August 2013

First baby he stayed overnight every night and we kept baby the whole time. I left sore and exhausted. Second baby I stayed overnight alone and sent baby to nursery except when the nurses brought her for me to BF. I went home in much better shape. He was going to stay as my sister offered to keep my other child but my other kid had a fever and my sister has 2 little ones herself so I felt bad for her and my sick kid. This time it will depend on time of day of the birth and all. If baby comes in the morning, I will probably be good to stay alone at night but if its later, DH will probably stay first night.

Barbercharm · August 2013

With our first, we lived about 30 minutes from the hospital.. H stayed with me the whole time (if I remember correctly). That guy can sleep anywhere, though.. So he slept the first night as I labored through the night!

. Not even the constant flow of nurses can wake him up! With our second and third we lived next door to my parents.. So when it was time to the hospital, my dad would come over to stay with the kids and my mom would come with us. Those times we lived less than 10 minutes from the hospital so my husband would go home frequently after the baby was born. With this LO we live in a new state.. We no longer live next door to my parents, but my brother and SIL live close. We're less than 10 minutes from the hospital.. Not sure who will stay with our 3 kids when we go to the hospital, but I know H will be back and forth to the hospital after LO is born.

dobrydney · August 2013

DH is planning on staying with me/us until we leave. The hospital has a pull-out in the room for the Dad (or whoever your support person is). I offered that he could go home and sleep or go into work for a few hours a day so that he could be with us more once we went home--but he's insistent on being part of conversations with Dr.s and nurses regarding LO so that he can learn and be a second set of ears too. We only live a couple of miles from the hospital, so I'm sure he'll run home at some point for something, but otherwise he's planning on staying.

DebateThis · August 2013

MIL is coming up to stay with us ahead of the birth to take care of our pets when we go to the hospital, but in the event LO comes before she arrives, DH will have to go home at least once.

[Deleted User] · August 2013

DH will stay with me through the whole labor and however long after that until things settle down and we can both get some rest...we have friends who live right down the street from the hospital who offered their spare bedroom for him to sleep in, so he will do that...go there to sleep/shower and then come back in the morning...he's 6'4 and I can't see him fitting in those tiny recliner things they have set up for dads in the room...no point in him being exhausted and uncomfortable, there will be plenty of time for him to bond with the baby in the middle of the night for weeks and months to come

3Dewdrops · August 2013

I think I'll be making the hospital trip alone. We are away from family/friends and I'd rather birth alone than have people I hardly know watch my girls. I should probably talk to DH about this...

Last time he stayed with me the whole time except for briefly one night when he went to go eat. I think since I was on vicodin he didn't trust me with the baby. It was pretty silly since it barely took the edge off the pain so its not like I was loopy or anything. (the vicodin was for my messed up tailbone)

[Deleted User] · August 2013

The user and all related content has been deleted.

barista411 · August 2013

DH will stay with me the whole time. My parents will have DD so I will not be worried about her at all. Last time I was pretty beat up after her delivery and it was wonderful to have DH there. The nurses were able to teach DH how to take care of me (ie get to the bathroom, shower, and that kind of stuff) It definitely took the couple days we were in the hospital for him to get the hang of it. I did send him home a couple times and I sent him to get movies and food but other than that he was right by my side.

GopherBaby13 · August 2013

stlucia_wife said:
DH will stay the whole time. All the hospital rooms have a couch that pulls out to a queen bed for SO.

The showers are really nice too. It's like staying in a hotel.

This. Except my SO might not stay the entire time. Like PP said, he gets pretty antsy at hospitals and unfortunately, this is the same hospital where his father passed away. He has a hard time being there sometimes.

juliane2004 · August 2013

It's hospital policy that no one can stay from 11pm-6am, including hubbies. So, DH will go home.

HerbanMom · August 2013

Depends on the personality I guess. My xH stayed at the hospital with me for the birth of both of our boys, each stay was 48 hours and he slept on a pull out sofa with no complaints. He would leave to pop into work and take care of a few things or to gather things for us that we may need but honestly, it was his choice to stay and I don't think he would've had it any other way. I will be delivering in a birth center this time but SO will be there for the length of the time we get there from the time we go in until we leave (without complications we'll be discharged 4 hours after the birth) and that was per him that he won't be going anywhere, if we need anything he'll send his mother. My two sons father and my neighbors will be keeping the kids depending on what day of the week I deliver if they aren't in school.

[Deleted User] · August 2013

Our current plan is for DH to go home after LO is born and he's had some quality time with him. He will go home to take care of DD and our kitties. DD will stay with my sister and her hubs while I am laboring. If laboring will be overnight DH will likely come home to put DD to sleep if need be.

I plan to keep LO with me in the room even if DH is at home. The only way the hospital will not allow that is if I have a c/s then the LO cannot room in with me. So in that case, my mom will stay at the hosp with me and LO so he can room in with me.

Friendilina · August 2013

My story .... I m so tensed thinking wht to do these days

... Last time my MIL n FIL were here they created more work for me.... From 2nd day I had to make meal from scratch .... Although they were not needed here last time ..... My mil hardly did anything for my daughter till this date .... But this time I have to stop her from coming n arrange something for my daughter ..... Don't expect anything from stepmom .... Damn i m even crying while typing this

aliwisewoman said:
DH stays with me the whole time. He is a bit crazy about it actually. LOL We had a 2 year old when I was pregnant last and my MIL and FIL stayed at our house with him. This time, I'm not exactly sure. I had asked my dad and stepmom but now there is a little drama on their end. I wasn't very happy with the way MIL handled things while I was at the hospital. So now I'm stuck. DH will not leave my side, even if I ordered him away.

SittingOnAMtnTop · August 2013

With DS1 DH stayed the entire time, except for 30 minutes to sneak us in some beer and rare roast beef sandwiches

He'll stay the entire time we are at the hospital with #2 as well.

Kaymee · August 2013

DH stayed the entire time for DS1, and will be doing the same for DS2. My parents will be staying at our house to watch out son and take care of the pets. They'll also visit at the hospital with DS1.

heluvsunshine · August 2013

My husband says he will stay by my side the whole time. He won't mind staying at the hospital .

McJen715 · August 2013

With DD1 he stayed nearly the entire time. She was born at 2:55AM, so later that day/evening he went home and let the dogs out and showered and came back and stayed the night on the pull out couch/bed. We only live 10 minutes from the hospital so it wasn't like it was that far.

We are lucky to live by pretty much all our family. DD1 will be staying at either MIL's or my parents and H will stay the whole time again.

ETA: DD2 will room in with us. The women's hospital I birth at doesn't have a nursery aside from the NICU.

MMMiller · August 2013

Thanks for all of your responses it's so interesting to hear how others plan to handle the situation. I honestly kind of enjoy the quiet time at the hospital, and I will feel much better about my H being with ds...as I know he will be nervous about where Mommy is.

Want a personalized experience?

DH staying at the hospital

Re: DH staying at the hospital

Choose Another Board

Search Boards