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November 2012 Moms
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Put your MIL complaints here

Hummingbirdbaby3Hummingbirdbaby3 member
in November 2012 Moms
Last night we got together with MIL and her fiance's family. Combined, there are 14 grandkids and we did some family pics and dinner. So, we were sitting at the table and her future SIL and DIL were looking our way at the baby and making comments that I couldn't hear. MIL decides to turn to me and say, "Their son Drew was just this age when he passed away from SIDS." UMMMMMM WHAT?! So I said, "That's terribly devastating. And I really didn't need to hear that" DH said the same. Then she said, " Oh but they're just remembering him happy and just like Benjamin is tonight" STOP!!!! I had to excuse myself before I burst into tears. So needless to say that last night was a very sleepless night in our house. 
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Re: Put your MIL complaints here

  • kb&mbkb&mb member
    I love mine dearly but she is kind of kooky.  And without fail, she holds little man for like 5 seconds before saying "I'm not sure what he wants" or "I think he wants his mommy" - usually he is just squirming because that's what he does now - he isn't just going to sit quietly and calmly in her arms - he wants to get down and crawl or play.
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  • MaebbMaebb member
    @hummingbirdbaby3, that was an awful thing for your MIL to say, and I'm glad you told her so. I probably would have said more to her.

    The most flamable thing my MIL has said was saying that we're bad Christians because we have gay friends, we voted for Obama (oh, the horror), and we care about the environment (because, you know, that makes us crazy liberals, and this is America, where we're free to be as wasteful as we can afford to be). Needless to say, she and I don't see eye to eye politically, but I normally just try to avoid talking about it.
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  • winecastle14winecastle14 member
    I have great in-laws but they drive me crazy sometimes because they are so passive aggressive. My family is honest (in a kind way). DH's family sugar coats EVERYTHING and won't ever tell each other when they think the other is doing something wrong or if they have a bad idea. In my eyes, you need your family to be honest with you because who else will be.  

    As a result, DH is SUCH a people-pleaser and has no back bone with his mother or sisters...which is the main source of our arguments. I just want him to grow a pair and tell them no sometimes. He should be able to be honest and say "sorry sister, we would prefer if you leave your INSANELY HYPER new (big) puppy at home this time because LO is just starting to crawl and we don't want our 2 dogs and your puppy running a muck while LO is crawling around." That should be understandable right??!! I could go on and on forever about stupid things that shouldn't matter that he won't stand up to them about 
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  • Hummingbirdbaby3Hummingbirdbaby3 member
    MIL is hard to deal with a lot. But I try to put on a happy face! Last night was rough. I just cried and cried allll the way home because I just couldn't stop thinking about it. I kept thinking, they probably had a normal evening with their son before the unthinkable happened. OMG I may cry now... This may sound totally naive, but I really felt like we were out of the woods with SIDS. Only because I read how rare it is after 6 months. Wow. And their story is interesting. They had two girls, then their son who passed, and got pregnant with twin girls, and another girl a few years later. So they now have 5 girls. Beautiful family. Man oh man, I cannot imagine. I snuggled him for almost an hour before getting the nerve to put him down and checked on him constantly...
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  • SNBellandSNBelland member
    I like my MIL for the most part, She really does try, but has some mental illness including hoarding that drives me up the walls. 

    Ps Now I'm going to be up all night checking on E. BAHHH! It's a good thing I work overnights because if I didn't I would be in that room so often to check on him. 
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  • Hummingbirdbaby3Hummingbirdbaby3 member
    Chickie79 said:

    First, your MIL is...ummm....special


    Second, your new siggy pics are adorable! You are beautiful and B is so cute!


    Third, my MIL is very sweet, but she drives me insane with her impromptuness. She says she's coming down to stay with us but never says when or for how long. And she's as dumb as a box of hair. Just sayin.

    Thanks! We took pics yesterday before the crappy dinner. Haha I was so happy to finally have a real family pic.
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  • ExcitedMum2BExcitedMum2B member
    Hummingbirdbaby3 said:
    MIL is hard to deal with a lot. But I try to put on a happy face! Last night was rough. I just cried and cried allll the way home because I just couldn't stop thinking about it. I kept thinking, they probably had a normal evening with their son before the unthinkable happened. OMG I may cry now... This may sound totally naive, but I really felt like we were out of the woods with SIDS. Only because I read how rare it is after 6 months. Wow. And their story is interesting. They had two girls, then their son who passed, and got pregnant with twin girls, and another girl a few years later. So they now have 5 girls. Beautiful family. Man oh man, I cannot imagine. I snuggled him for almost an hour before getting the nerve to put him down and checked on him constantly...
    That's what I thought to until your post. I'm sorry your MIL brought that up. And in front of them? Terrible.

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  • jg1011jg1011 member

    @Hummingbirdbaby3 That is just horrifying. Like you...I hadn't given it much thought at this point. That is downright scary...and completely inconsiderate of your mom on so many levels! I am happy to hear they have 5 girls....but that loss never goes away.

    On a happier note....I LOVE your siggy pics!

     

    @beane4018 My mother does the same thing....She then adds...he always fusses with me. I don't know what's wrong with him.....Ummm...nothing is wrong with him. If you made an effort to ever leave your house, you may see him more and then he will smile for you.

     

    As for my MIL---I am blessed ...really. She is pretty good. However, lately she thinks because I am on summer vacation it is my job to be at her beck and call. And....she insists on riling V up right after bath time....um...hello....it's WIND DOWN time! 

    Those aren't terrible so I guess I cant complain.

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  • atrinh11atrinh11 member

    That is a terrible thing for a MIL to say.

    Mine barely speaks English. Sometimes it is a blessing...

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  • maven212maven212 member
    Dear god - that is just deeply awful. 

    My ILs have issues and have said some pretty terrible things to DH and I. DH put his foot down with them around this time last year and things have gotten better, but it's a little bit like trying to litter train a tiger...you know..the tiger knows, ultimately, that it can pi$$ wherever it wants and there is very little you can do about it. 

    They have a lot of footwork to do before they will be back in my good graces. 
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  • winecastle14winecastle14 member
    Hummingbirdbaby3 said:

    MIL is hard to deal with a lot. But I try to put on a happy face! Last night was rough. I just cried and cried allll the way home because I just couldn't stop thinking about it. I kept thinking, they probably had a normal evening with their son before the unthinkable happened. OMG I may cry now... This may sound totally naive, but I really felt like we were out of the woods with SIDS. Only because I read how rare it is after 6 months. Wow. And their story is interesting. They had two girls, then their son who passed, and got pregnant with twin girls, and another girl a few years later. So they now have 5 girls. Beautiful family. Man oh man, I cannot imagine. I snuggled him for almost an hour before getting the nerve to put him down and checked on him constantly...

    That's an awful thing for her to say but don't let it get to you so badly. If we let our minds go there with every possible thing that could happen to our babies we'd all be crazy.

    The SIDS risk does decrease dramatically after 6 months but never goes away. Don't hate me for telling you this but after they turn one the SIDs turns into SUDS (Sudden Unexpected Death Syndrome). It's rare but it happens. DH's coworker's 2 year old just passed from SUDS one night in his sleep. I'm not saying this to freak you out. Just to make my point that we can't let all of those scary thing run the way we live life. No one is promised tomorrow. But MIL does suck for saying that to you.

    Cute, cute, cute new siggy pic!!
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  • SurpriseAt39SurpriseAt39 member
    I know you will all be shocked to hear...
    But MIL hasn't done anything crazy/rude/obnoxious lately. 

    ...probably since we were away for over a week...lol.

    We aren't announcing my pregnancy until at least 4 or 5 months this time. Unless I reeeeaaaally start to show...a lot...

    She was overboard crazy excited with the last one.  And she has told us repeatedly that I better not get pregnant again because I'm 40 and too old for a baby...  
    FIL said he'd be okay with me having 10 more. Lol. 

    Part of us just wants to see if she asks me again if I'm on a diet. I'm waiting for a comment on my waist line or weight. 

    I'm sure it won't be long before she does/says something ridiculous. 

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