Poll- How many kids for you?

MamaHanna · August 2013

So after the OU's yesterday about how rude it is for people to tell others how many children they should have it made me think about how many I want. I want 4 and I get a pretty good amount of shit for that. I know it's not the norm but I come from a big family and haveing 1 or 2 would just be weird for me. What is your "ideal" number

lilypienmessimy · August 2013

I have 3 sisters and I'll definitely be having at least 4. I love having a big family and look forward to giving that to my children as well! The more the merrier!

lisab613 · August 2013

I say 2 now but I think I'd really like 3. We keep saying we'll see how the first one goes before we decide when to have a second, but we both definitely want a second.

natleilynn · August 2013

We definitely want a brother or sister for this LO so at least 2. I told him no more than 3, though. Twins run in our families so I'm prepared for the possibility that there could be two next time.

MelAnnDi · August 2013

I would say 2 or 3. We don't know yet.

adawn1981 · August 2013

I picked 2, but I think I will only be having one. I have a 17 year old SS and a 10 year old SD and this will be our first together. H was complete with his 2 kids, but we decided to have one together - I would like 2 of my own, but 1 is a compromise I was willing to make seeing as though even though I will have only 1 bio child of my own, I am blessed to have 2 stepkids as well. If he changes his mind we will have 2 but I am thankful for the 1

shoeflypie · August 2013

I picked other because this is my first. DH and I want 3 or more but I have convinced myself to not pick a set number. Without sounding like a Dugger, I tell people that I want as many as God will give me... I've dealt with infertility and am just being open to my life path... I would love a big family though. Big being like 4/5 kids.

mcraig107 · August 2013

We WERE done with 3 but then God blessed us with a 4th. We are done after this one and the hubby is getting snipped. I came from a small family and hated it so I'm happy my children will have each other and they are all about 2 to 2.5 years apart.

nicholssquared · August 2013

As many as I conceive. I don't really have a number, just letting God do his thing.

notkateanymore · August 2013

katyj25 said:

Since IF has played a factor for us, we are now undecided. I have an 11 year old son and will now have a daughter. For now, I feel complete. I think MH would like to try for one more, but I am not sure I want to go down the IF road again. We will revisit the subject in a couple years.

And we have a 9.5 year old daughter and will now have a son. The gap was caused in part by IF. We have decided that I'm getting my tubes tied during my RCS. We had toyed with having another one close in age to this one, but I'm 35 in two weeks and it's been a hard pregnancy.

MarieC78 · August 2013

haha...guess I'm the first person to pick 1. There are a couple of reasons.

1) I'd be around 37 by the time we could start thinking about trying for a second one, and I really don't want to put my body through it again.

2) We want to live within our means, and as our finances are now, that will be with one baby.

willowprincess · August 2013

We don't believe in using birth control, so we have no idea how many we will have. I would love around 8-10, but we will see.

northport6 · August 2013

I'm an only child and it ruled -- my parents and I have a great relationship and we had a lot of fun growing up. Granted, it was because I was adopted; they had planned to have more than one, but after 5 years of trying and 4 years on the state waiting list, they were in their 30s by the time I entered the picture and their circumstances had changed.

But DH envies the relationship I have with them, and wants that sort of connection and involvement with our child, so we're only planning on having one.

Galaxy8227 · August 2013

This will be our second and we're done after this. If money wasn't an issue I could see us having a larger family but realistically two is best for our family.

watercolor5 · August 2013

3 is our plan, though I'm pregnant with our second daughter, and if #3 is also a girl, DH might want to try one more time for a son. He may have a hard time convincing me...

This was an oops pregnancy and our DDs will be 15 months apart, so I think the current plan is to get an IUD to ensure more spacing between #2 and #3, because I don't think I could handle 3u3 or close to it. I'm 30 now, and want to be done by 35, so I think 3 still makes the most sense for our family.

*Mrs*Rohrbaugh* · August 2013

For us it just depends. If we have a boy and a girl that'll be it for us. But if we have 2 boys or 2 girls we'll probably have a third.

sabriel1 · August 2013

After this pregnancy we'll have both a boy and a girl and everyone thinks we'll be done for some reason however, my husband and I have always talked about having a really large family so we are thinking more like 5-6. I just don't want to get up so high that we'd have to purchase some kind of weird vehicle to transport everyone together. I currently babysit another 21 month old along with my DD so I'm used to having two around so I think at least 3 for sure. I like being pregnant, I even love the excitement of labor and delivery so I don't mind doing this again a few more times, though my opinion may change in the future if I have difficulties or anything.

74dragonfly · August 2013

I always wanted two. IF delayed our second. I am extremely grateful for this baby.
Not to be negative but not everyone gets the family size they want.

esf60 · August 2013

I want 3, my husband wants 2. That means we'll have 3, G-d willing

cantsitwithus · August 2013

Definitely 2 but we're not opposed to more if we think we can handle it. Time will tell!

Skylight21 · August 2013

I would like 2 or 3. But 3 would be the max for us

amberpro · August 2013

I would like a third in a couple years, but we'll see. We'll play it by ear. And DS1 will have to be in school... No more than 2 at a time in DC.

cammyisagirlsname · August 2013

I'm pretty sure I'm one and done!

daisydaisy23 · August 2013

Definitely 2. We were thinking about 3, but DH is 6 years older than me and now feels that he will be too old (by his standards lol) for another one after our second is born this year. If we had a third I want our first to be in school before he/she is born, which would be about 3 years from now...DH would be almost 40 and he doesn't think he wants more kids at that age.

Plus...I think I will have my hands quite full enough with 2. Haha.

samiaf · August 2013

This is number 11 for us. 4 by adoption and 6 by birth with a boy on the way. My husband had a vasectomy reversal about 7 years ago and this will be the 3 rd after reversal. We never use birth control. I am 42 so I don't think many more(if any) are in our future. So I try to enjoy every day of mothering(impossible but I try)and being preggie and being a wife.

MrsGraham06 · August 2013

This is #4 for us (I picked 5+). We had talked about 4 or 6, and joked about 10 before we were married. It's all going to depend on my husband's new business, how quickly it picks up, and how quickly the money "comes rolling in". If it's not really happening before I'm recovered from this one, then something permanent will happen, and we'll either foster later, or adopt, or something along those lines.

We plan for our house to be open to those who need a safe place, whether that is an official foster home, or just our kids' friends.

Stephanie2167 · August 2013

I have to say 3 now. )

We planned on two, but God just laughed.

jamrosj · August 2013

I want at least 3. This is #2 and DH is between 2 and 3

jax63081 · August 2013

Galaxy8227 said:
This will be our second and we're done after this. If money wasn't an issue I could see us having a larger family but realistically two is best for our family.

I couldn't agree more.

Supergirl2013 · August 2013

I always said two since I have the pair already but god had other plans for me. New Husband, new job, new life. Having my 3rd and my last. Getting my tubes tied after she is born.

grannyweatherwax · August 2013

I think we might be done after this one. Financially speaking, 3 would be too much of a stretch for us at this point in our lives. I'm young enough to change my mind later though. Also, I am not a huge fan of pregnancy in general First and third trimester are horrible

StefiMarie · August 2013

I am one of seven, DH is one of 2, before we met, I said 3 or 5, he said 2 or 3, so we went with 3, and now that number 3 is in the oven, we feel that three really is the perfect number for us. My kids, their genders, and their birth order has been such a blessing and I wouldn't change a thing!

(Although my sanity may not be intact any more! 3 kids in three years!)

mestills · August 2013

I am still undecided. DH is all for 2, which this one will be our second. I am not ready to say we are done, yet. So I am thinking we will discuss it at a later date.

MrsGraham06 · August 2013

Not trying to be snarky but for the people that say "I want to have however many god will give us" or " we'd love a large family" do you not think about how you will take care of them financially or worry about giving them the attention they need? I'm just curious as to how that works.

________

Sorry, quote box being stupid again...

@Heaven802002:

The way it works is that God provides. If God blesses us with children, he will bless us with the means to provide for them. That's been true for us so far. And every time we have really needed money for something, money is there. Oh, sure, you can call it coincidence as much as you like (DH did for a long time) but He doesn't usually (for us) come out and say "Oh, I see you need $200. Well, here is $203.47".

Also, we do make sure to spend time with our kids. We understand they need our attention. So, even though DH has 3 jobs, and works at home for one of them, he waits until they are in bed before working. We eat as a family, spend evenings as a family, spend weekends as a family. We make sure to spend one-on-one time with each of them as well. It takes effort, but it took effort when we had only 1, it took effort when we had only 2. It will take effort when we have 4. But we think it's worth it.

KelseyKetchum · August 2013

We are undecided. So every 2 years assess money and sanity then maybe try again

swirl25 · August 2013

We always discussed and agreed on having 2 and this is #2, but now that it's another girl, I can tell DH is waffling the tiniest bit over whether we should go for 3 in hopes of a boy. Although he said that even if you could guarantee it would be a boy if we had a 3rd, he wouldn't definitely want to go for it. As for me, in my mind we're done after this little lady gets here. Shop is closed.

MEP923 · August 2013

Ideally I'd like 3. I come from a family of 3 siblings. In reality though it may have to be 2. We went through 3 years of heartache to get this one and I don't know if I can put myself through that again. I would like to take a break from it all after this one to get back in shape and just have my body as my own and then maybe in a few years I will go with an "if it happens, it happens" kind of attitude but I don't think I will ever actively try again. Also, right now we are in our starter home. One day we would like to rent it out and move to a different part of the state. We have a plan right now to accomplish that in about 3 years. If we have another, it will probably be impossible for a lot longer.

sleepymonkey · August 2013

We are undecided. We wanted 2 but this I have not handled this pregnancy that well so I'm not sure I will want to do it again. And since I am 36, time is of the essence so a second child would probably have to be pretty close after this first one. I don't think I'll forget the misery of first trimester that quickly!

sportsmomma · August 2013

ClaireFraser said:
We are undecided. This is number 2. DH is strongly pushing for a 3rd, but I need to get through #2 first to see if I feel like I can handle 3. Also, we need to see what finances will be like in a couple years before we decide on a 3rd.

Exactly this.

MalDR0418 · August 2013

Growing up in a somewhat large family (5 of us siblings) and extended family (46 first cousins), I always said I wanted 12 kids when people asked me when I was younger. I doubt we'll have that many but I'd totally be open to it! DH is completely on board too, but of course, we'll be happy with any number we have.

willowprincess · August 2013

MrsGraham06 said:

Not trying to be snarky but for the people that say "I want to have however many god will give us" or " we'd love a large family" do you not think about how you will take care of them financially or worry about giving them the attention they need? I'm just curious as to how that works.

________

Sorry, quote box being stupid again...

@Heaven802002:

The way it works is that God provides. If God blesses us with children, he will bless us with the means to provide for them. That's been true for us so far. And every time we have really needed money for something, money is there. Oh, sure, you can call it coincidence as much as you like (DH did for a long time) but He doesn't usually (for us) come out and say "Oh, I see you need $200. Well, here is $203.47".

Also, we do make sure to spend time with our kids. We understand they need our attention. So, even though DH has 3 jobs, and works at home for one of them, he waits until they are in bed before working. We eat as a family, spend evenings as a family, spend weekends as a family. We make sure to spend one-on-one time with each of them as well. It takes effort, but it took effort when we had only 1, it took effort when we had only 2. It will take effort when we have 4. But we think it's worth it.

This is well put. We trust God to provide for each of the children he blesses us with. We also understand that that means He will provide for our needs, not necessarily all our wants. So we most likely won't have a lot of extras or have our kids in a bunch of activities, which is fine.

As for the attention aspect, like pp said, it just takes intention. We choose how we spend our time, and we will choose to be intentional when it comes to spending time with our children.

I came from a family of 6 and never once felt lacking in attention. Neither did my siblings. My dh is 1 of 3 and there is 7 years between each child. He has recounted multiple incidences to me where he felt he missed out on family attention. It's just all in what you put into it.

Want a personalized experience?

Poll- How many kids for you?

Poll- How many kids for you? 216 votes

Re: Poll- How many kids for you?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards