Debate about sending sick kids to home daycare

NewFamily09 · August 2013

I'm really torn about whether or not I should say something to this mom. I sort of run a little home daycare, but at the moment I am only watching 2 kids, and they are the kids of a friend. Not a BFF or anything, but a friend. She and DH used to work together so we got to know each other's families well. I lover her kids and love taking care of them. They are so sweet and adorable. My problem is that she often brings them when they are sick. I totally understand that you just can't always miss work for every single little cold, but part of me also feels like it's not fair to infect other people's kids just because it's inconvenient or you lose money missing work to keep your kid home. I also realize that I signed up for this job, and I knew when I agreed to watch people's kids that this could happen. I could've turned her away when she brought her daughter with a cold. I'm a little irked because she said that she doesn't have anymore sick days. Well, neither do I. Nobody pays me when I'm sick either. Yet here I am, along with my son, quite sick with a cold because of her daughter. I've had a really sore throat, stuffy, with a bad cough. My poor 2 year old is also hacking away. We spent our trip to the beach like this. Part of me just says get over it, because I take care of kids and this comes with the territory, but another part says it's unfair to make several other people sick because she doesn't want to stay home and take a day without pay. I know that kids are going to get colds and it builds the immune system, yada yada yada, but being sick still sucks, especially for little kids. DH gets super mad when she brings over her sick kids. She's actually gotten better at times, keeping them home if her DH is able to stay with the sick kid. But if both of them have to work, she brings them to me. What do you guys think? Should I be stricter and let her know that from now on she can't bring any sick kids, or should I just deal with it? Maybe just try my best to keep the sick kid away from the others? I'm already clear that I won't take kids with fevers, diarrhea, vomiting, etc., but what about bad colds, really snotty noses, etc?

olechka · August 2013

It sucks and I'd be mad as well, but kids do get sick a lot, my daughter was sick most of the first winter at daycare, i'd have to keep her home for 3 months. I don't take her with a fever, rash, really bad cold but if its just sniffles she still goes.

TiffanyBerry · August 2013

It sucks, but you signed up for it. If you don't want to take that responsibility of dealing with kids with colds and snotty noses, stop doing it and tell her you need her to find another place (within a reasonable amount of time). She's not just losing money (which she may well need), but if she doesn't have sick days and has to stay home with her kid, she risks losing her job. That's part of the world of being a working mom.

Don't get me wrong - I sympathize with you. I watch a kid for a friend two days a week while she goes to work. If he's sick (cold or snotty nose), he still comes. Then we can get it too. And it's annoying as all heck. But it's what I signed up to do, and that is the job I voluntarily took.

sschwege · August 2013

I also care for another child in our home and I understand where you are coming from. The first little girl I cared for was sick constantly (her mother was a teacher so I'm sure that was part of it). Plus they had every excuse in the book for her symptoms (diarrhea caused by an overripe banana, a fever of 104 caused by teething, vomiting child just 'spit-up', etc). We had a signed contract that was very specific as to what was considered too sick to come, plus an additional line that read, "anything that is contagious to me or my child", this allowed me plenty of wiggle room if need be. Anyway, I tried a few times to send her home at the first sign of illness and they always came right away, but it seemed like by the time she had symptoms it was already too late, we were all getting sick. After that I just decided that unless she was so sick that she needed one-on-one attention from her parents I just let her come.

The boy I watch now is much more healthy thank goodness! But I've sort of adopted a similar approach. While I had them sign the same contract, I pretty much always let him come provided he is not so sick that I can't care for him.

Besides it goes both ways. DH's family was in town the past weekend and got us all sick with a cold, I'm not giving them the opportunity to keep their son home. I mean of course they don't have to bring their son, but I still get paid.

rlyttle · August 2013

You need to have a sick policy. What you will tolerate and what you will not tolerate. A cold is not a big deal. If they have green/yellow mucus, fever, rash, throwing up, ect then I would have that in writing and do not allow the kids to come. If they have a cold at DS's daycare, they are not able to play with all the other kids and they are separated as much as possible. DS's babysitter is very strict with her sick policy. We get a new copy of it every fall. She has even kicked kids out permanently because their parents continued to ignore the sick policy.

EDWHIP · August 2013

rlyttle said:

You need to have a sick policy. What you will tolerate and what you will not tolerate. A cold is not a big deal. If they have green/yellow mucus, fever, rash, throwing up, ect then I would have that in writing and do not allow the kids to come. If they have a cold at DS's daycare, they are not able to play with all the other kids and they are separated as much as possible. DS's babysitter is very strict with her sick policy. We get a new copy of it every fall. She has even kicked kids out permanently because their parents continued to ignore the sick policy.

I agree with this. Without a sick policy you don't have much to go on. My in home daycare has a 24 hour fever/diarreah/vomit free policy. Colds are nothing.

MrsWindyCity · August 2013

I agree you need a sick policy. You can have it say whatever you want but obviously you have to understand that people will probably not want to use your services if you turn kids with a cold away. There is no way, especially in that first year, I could have kept my job if I had to stay home with DS every time he had a cold.

erbear · August 2013

Make a policy like a daycare does. For us, I keep her home for 24 hours after a fever, or with any vomiting. Other than that, I send her. Kids get colds all the time. I cannot take a sick day every time my kids get a runny nose.

kgs0505 · August 2013

You need a specific policy. If they come with a fever, that is a no go. Colds though, that really can't be helped. Besides, what do you do when your kiddo is sick with a cold? You can't exactly keep him "home", he's in with the other kids. Yes it sucks when our kids get colds, but it happens, and it happens a lot when kids are in a new place for the first year.

RayRay007 · August 2013

Colds are a part of toddler life. A daycare that turned kids away for a cold wouldn't be in business very long. I will keep DD home if she's clearly miserable, but if it's just a cough and runny nose, she goes. Also, a fever is only a fever. If there's no other signs of illness and the child is acting normally, I don't think they should be turned away for a temperature. DD's been running a temp for weeks due to teething. If there's vomiting or diarrhea the kid should stay home.

memali26 · August 2013

I understand your frustration, but agree with everyone else that every sniffle or minor cold can't keep a child home. I watch another child, and she constantly, year round, has a runny/stuffy nose. It's annoying and frustrating and has gotten my kids, DH, and myself sick several times, but if I turned her away for every cold her mom would have lost her job for having to stay home so often. So as long as it's just a minor cold I just deal with it. Stock up on tissues and disinfecting wipes, try to make sure toys aren't getting passed back and forth too much, and clean the house and the toys more often than usual.

Anything more than a cold - anything with a fever, vomiting, diarrhea, pink eye - those things the mom either stays home with the child or finds alternate care without other children. In two years that's only happened twice - once for pink eye and once for a stomach virus.

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