Do you have a back up plan?

Tigger & pooh · August 2013

this was kind of brought up on another board but if your DH was to die or you got divorce have you thought about what you would do?

LoriLee14 · August 2013

move closer to my parents and look for a job and daycare.... I really hope to never find out though

Andrewsgal · August 2013

Yes if he were to die I would be fine for a while but return to teaching full time as I love the hours for being a WM. I have kept up my contacts so I could get a job pretty easily or at least sub for a while. I really wouldn't have to work for a while due to his life insurance, but I would want to bank that money and start supporting my family, we live 100% debt free so I could afford our life as it is no on my salary cutting out a lot of savings and vacations and stuff. More than likely I would sell the house and move closer to my family for their support. If we divorced my answer would basically be the same. I would downsize but we would be fine.

Tigger & pooh · August 2013

We personally have a good size life insurance policy on DH ( I jokingly tell him to sleep with one eye open). But a divorce would be tough. I feel pretty confident about getting a job right away but my files only makes 37-40,000 so it wouldn't be the same lifestyle.

sschwege · August 2013

LoriLee14 said:

move closer to my parents and look for a job and daycare.... I really hope to never find out though

This is what I would do too.

It's scary because DH has Type I diabetes and while he got it later in life (25 years old) and it's well controlled, it's pretty much impossible to get good life insurance. He has some through his work (I think it's a year's pay) and another small plan, but nothing that would really make a big difference.

alake · August 2013

We have a substantial life insurance policy. I would probably be able to stay at home until Roo went to elementary school, in five years. I would sell our current house and move back to Canada. With the money from the sale of our house, I could purchase or build to my liking a house back home, and leave a substantial nest egg for the kids. We have set up a living will for them. Each of them has enough money to go to university, when they graduate. If they choose not to go, it will be theirs when they turn 25.

penguingrrl · August 2013

If something were to happen today I would probably need to move in with my mom, which she would be fine with. It would be temporary while I got back on my feet. Our lifestyle would change drastically, though, as DH has significantly higher earning potential than I do (he's a chemical engineer with his PhD, my degree is in history and my experience is museum work).

notkateanymore · August 2013

Yes of course. I don't think any SAHM doesn't.

roxy_jj · August 2013

KateMW said:

Yes of course. I don't think any SAHM doesn't.

This. If she doesn't have a back up plan, it isn't very wise and she should come up with one ASAP.

kcisthebombdotcom · August 2013

I think in either scenario I'd temporarily move in with parents so I could get things sorted out/start healing emotionally. Either way I think it would be too difficult to live in the house we shared so I'd want to sell it. I would pick up some extra waitressing shifts to make money in the interim then begin looking for a job with more traditional hours.

notkateanymore · August 2013

roxy_jj said:

KateMW said:

Yes of course. I don't think any SAHM doesn't.

This. If she doesn't have a back up plan, it isn't very wise and she should come up with one ASAP.

And it's totally fine if your backup plan is moving in with family, etc. but it's a plan!

Chapter79 · August 2013

I would move in with my best friend, and her wife. They have a ton of room, and I know without a doubt they would help support us just a little bit while I got on my feet. They make a hell of a lot more money than my parents- my parents would honestly struggle to help with anything on a financial level. So while they would be an emotional help, that's probably all they can handle.

I hate thinking of that.

SallyAnneS · August 2013

Pretty much what everyone else said. If he died we have life insurance to help while I get a job, downsize etc. If we divorced I would kick him out of the house while I found a job and daycare and then move to an apt after the house sold. (Forcing him to pay his half of the house expenses till it sold). I also havr the option to move back with my mom if needed and in both cases might do that for awhile to help with ds while I heal emotionally.

joyfullyfound · August 2013

DH and I have discussed this seriously in the past. If he died, his life insurance pay out would be a huge help... I'd be able to take my time finding a job, and could probably only work part time if I wanted to. I'd stay in our house, get a job as an RN, and my MIL or my dad (possibly a combination) would look after DD. Gawd, that makes me sad.

Stefibeth · August 2013

I've thought about it abstractly, I guess. Hopefully we would be entitled to life insurance benefits. I have family in the area who would be able to help me during transition, hopefully, and I'm sure I would return to full-time work.

rach10782 · August 2013

If DH were to pass away I would be fine financially. If we were to divorce I would move back to NY (to be close to my family) and go back to work full time.

Allycat11 · August 2013

I would move closer to my family and go back to work.

MountaineerMomma · August 2013

LalaMama81 said:

Definitely for death, I could pay the mortgage off and have plenty of time to prepare myself to enter the workforce when they'd be in school. I might even be able to get away with part time for a loooong time. Divorce, not as explicit but we'd make it work. In either scenario I'd consider moving closer to my parents/inlaws/sister.

Pretty much this. Except I probably wouldn't move close to family. That would just cause more problems. Plus, there are no jobs in my field there.

LatteLady5 · August 2013

We both have large life insurance policies. I'd move close to his family (as we're closer with them) and finish school.

bumpuser8448316 · August 2013

Death- I'd be fine for a few years. Divorce- I'd be living with my parents until I got my shit together

bridein08 · August 2013

Divorce- I'd get a job as a nurse. I live ten minutes from my parents, so support is there. Death- I'd use the $$ to pay off the house and still have a few hundred K's. I would not return until to work until youngest was kindergarten age. If it was a line of duty death, I would not return to work at all.

Spin313 · August 2013

I'd be a wreck in case of divorce, but we've planned ahead with insurance packages in case something happened to either of us. The house could be sold at a profit and my parents are both close by, retired, and willing to help.

cmrand4 · August 2013

We have enough life insurance that I could stay home long enough to get the kids mostly raised and then I would go back to teaching. I would stay in my same town, although my family would probably try to convince me otherwise.

jenniann87 · August 2013

Divorce - I would move back in with my parents until I was able to get a job and get my shit together.

Death - I would be fine financially. We have life insurance and DH's work will pay benefits and about 50% of his pay until the kids are 18yo. We live less then 30min from our families, with my parents being 10min away. I would probably have my dad and mom move in with me for a short time for support. And go back to work part-time.

Ballet513 · August 2013

I have a masters in communication disorders and am keeping my speech pathology license and certifications current. I also work 6-8 hours a week PT to stay in the field. I own two rental properties (purchased before H and I were married) and I make income from the rents paid by the tenants so I have that too. We have good life insurance policies so our home/bills would be paid with money left over if H were to pass away. Hopefully I'll never be a widow or get a divorce but you never know what could happen.

prism207 · August 2013

Divorce-We'd likely have to sell the house and split the profit. Between that and child support, I would be okay til I got a job. I'd probably move closer to my family, currently 2 hours away, and maybe even in with my sister and her two kids. We could help each other a lot.

Death-My H has a good life insurance policy that includes paying off the mortgage. So the house would be paid for and I could sell it for the profit or stay put. I can imagine wanting to sell and move home. The life insurance would be enough to cover all expenses for several years, leaving enough for college tuition for the kids, until my youngest is in school full time and I would get a full time job at that point if not before.

lisamoe · August 2013

I would go back to nursing full-time. I think I could find a job pretty easily, I have kept up with my license and have kept in contact with some people who may make it easier for me to get into the hospital I worked at before SAHM.

Other than that, I would have to research daycares (haven't done).

vlagrl29 · August 2013

Do what I did last time. Life goes on. I would probably have to get a part time job to supplement my business income so we would have enough income to live on. Obviously if he died we would be ok because he has a lot of insurance on him. If we divorced DD and I would live in our home. Either way the home is only in my name so we wouldn't have to worry about that.

mysticl · August 2013

DH is in the military so I have put a lot of thought into what would happen if he died. Fortunately his current job is about as safe as it can be (he doesn't deploy with this job). I would sell both houses (we own one here and one at the last duty station which we rent out), sell his car, probably sell off a fair chunk of our stuff, pack up what's left, the kid, and the pets and go home to my mom. I hate where we live and have no support system here and without DH I have absolutely no reason to stay here. His life insurance is pretty good so I would use that to pay off any debt left after selling off all of that stuff and hopefully still have a cushion till I could find work/childcare.

If we were to divorce I'd be pretty screwed. I wouldn't want to take DS 800 miles away from him but again no support system here and not great job prospects. I couldn't even find anything to apply for when we first moved here and then I got pregnant so I quit looking.

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