Who will be breastfeeding?

adventureolive · August 2013

PurpleSnapDragons said:

I think there are lots of reasons not to try. I have friends who view their breast only in a sexual manner a sn don't want I share with baby, friends who are afraid it will change how their boobs look, friends on medication that prevents it from being safe. Friends who want their husband to have and equal share of night feeding. I hate how judgy some ladies get against formula feeders.

Being on a medication that makes breastfeeding unsafe automatically makes it a "not a choice" situation. Also I work full time and I pump and freeze. DH is a SAHD and we still feed her exclusively breastmilk. There are milk banks available if I didn't produce enough, but I do luckily.

So far that just leaves vanity and weird sexual hangups. I'd like to hear some of the real reasoning behind that too. I don't think being curious as to why someone would choose formula feeding when breastfeeding is a perfectly viable option for them is shaming, it's curiosity.

MrsEmilyS · August 2013

I breastfed my daughter for 14 months and plan to do the same again

slensic · August 2013

I nursed DD for 23 months. Much longer than I planned actually but I ended up being much more attached to it than I thought I would be. Especially after the horrible first few months, I didn't enjoy it until she was about 2 1/2 months old. I only made it through because it was so important to me. Those first few months taught me you have to make choices that are right for your family only and not worry about what anyone else is doing. I know lots of very healthy ff kids. I don't know how long I will for this baby. At least a year I hope and I am hoping the start is much smoother because I have some experience. I am dreading the pumping though

tarynkim · August 2013

I'm nursing my two and a half year old and it doesnt seem that he'll give it up soon, so I may also be tandem nursing (to the dismay of my family lol)!

Twirple · August 2013

slensic said:

I nursed DD for 23 months. Much longer than I planned actually but I ended up being much more attached to it than I thought I would be. Especially after the horrible first few months, I didn't enjoy it until she was about 2 1/2 months old. I only made it through because it was so important to me. Those first few months taught me you have to make choices that are right for your family only and not worry about what anyone else is doing. I know lots of very healthy ff kids. I don't know how long I will for this baby. At least a year I hope and I am hoping the start is much smoother because I have some experience. I am dreading the pumping though

This is so true. When DS was 4 days old, he refused to latch on. It got to the point where he had not eaten in over 18 hours. He was in tears, I was in tears, and DH was trying to comfort us both. The Lactation Consultant that I spoke to over the phone recommended that we get an eyedropper and I express some milk and feed him with that. He choked on it. I ended up giving him part of a bottle, which I was told was a horrible idea. It took the edge off his hunger enough that he was able to relax, and he latched on. When I told the LC what I'd done, she told me I could have ruined him. As I said previously, he nursed for 2 years. Sometimes you have to listen to your instincts.

CurlieWhirlie · August 2013

mom2twin said:

I did with my twins. Exclusively for 6mo, then real food slowly took over. Then it was twice-once a day until they were almost two. Plan on doing it again...

This was pretty much my experience with my son. He decided when he didn't really want to anymore.

MamaFantastic · August 2013

I BF my son for 17 months... best decision I ever made! I have friends and family members who had to supplement for various points of baby's first life, and I have never judged them for it. Someone's supply dwindled after 4 months and baby's weight started falling off the charts... so for her it was just a no brainer to start supplementing. My cousin had a traumatic delivery and she didn't produce enough milk from the get-go, so she has to supplement with an ounce after every BFing session. My neighbor lost a ton of blood during delivery due to a hemorrhage and her supply took a beating too - so she supplemented for a few weeks while she built her supply up, and then she PUMPED for a year afterward... exclusively.

I give all 3 of these women HUGE props for the sacrifices they made to take care of their babies, even though they all fed formula at various points. I would never dream of judging them.

I also wouldn't dream of faulting a woman for choosing to FF if she had lingering stress or hesitation stemming from a history of sexual abuse. That, to me, is untouchable and I could never pass judgment on someone who has experienced a horrible situation like that.

And obviously, the people who can't BF due to medication contraindications are not even a part of the discussion. Same goes for people whose jobs would make pumping impossible (not challenging, but impossible).

So there are lots of reason why I don't judge certain "I choose to FF" people. But I will say... those who just choose to FF for no other reason than not wanting saggy boobs or not wanting to be "hindered" at work or at night, or not wanting to avoid alcohol on a consistent basis..... I do judge those people and I see their decision as being somewhat selfishly driven, especially when the science is SO overwhelmingly in favor of breastfeeding.

Andrewsgal · August 2013

adventureolive said:

PurpleSnapDragons said:

I think there are lots of reasons not to try. I have friends who view their breast only in a sexual manner a sn don't want I share with baby, friends who are afraid it will change how their boobs look, friends on medication that prevents it from being safe. Friends who want their husband to have and equal share of night feeding. I hate how judgy some ladies get against formula feeders.

Being on a medication that makes breastfeeding unsafe automatically makes it a "not a choice" situation. Also I work full time and I pump and freeze. DH is a SAHD and we still feed her exclusively breastmilk. There are milk banks available if I didn't produce enough, but I do luckily.

So far that just leaves vanity and weird sexual hangups. I'd like to hear some of the real reasoning behind that too. I don't think being curious as to why someone would choose formula feeding when breastfeeding is a perfectly viable option for them is shaming, it's curiosity.

but the point is no one needs a reason. Why does anyone need to justify their parenting choices to you? BFing does not make you a great mom just like FF does not make you a crappy mom. I bF both my kids. I don't care at all how someone else chooses to feed theirs.

AcaAwkward · August 2013

I am still BFing my almost 18 mo old. We had a TON of struggles - bad latch, severe jaundice and weight loss that required she be in the NICU for 5 days and be fed formula for 3 weeks, my milk didn't fully come in for 2 full weeks, I've had thrush twice and mastitis 4x, clogged ducts, my right boob dried up at 9 mo so we had to switch exclusively to the left... Needless to say, I'm immensely proud of us for sticking to BFing!

That said, damn, I was SO SMUG about BFing before I had my DD. I read all the books, could spout off all the facts and benefits, and, while I'd say outloud I didn't judge formula feeders, I totally did. Ooooooo to be a perfect parent again (ie: one that has no children)! Now I can SINCERELY say: as long as you are feeding your baby, you are doing a great job. Taking care of a newborn is not for wussies, and if BFing doesn't work out or just isn't making you happy, rock on with formula. I have too many friends who beat themselves up over the decision to stop BFing / EPing...only to find they were much happier, saner mamas when they switched to formula.

sexyntexy · August 2013

I tried both times and failed miserably. It was hard. And yes it was easier to have my H's help and not have every feeding on me. Also I was only home for 8 weeks and my job wasn't super conducive to pumping.

Judge away. I'm super close to my kids and they are fine.

TMVG · August 2013

slensic said:
I nursed DD for 23 months. Much longer than I planned actually but I ended up being much more attached to it than I thought I would be. Especially after the horrible first few months, I didn't enjoy it until she was about 2 1/2 months old. I only made it through because it was so important to me. Those first few months taught me you have to make choices that are right for your family only and not worry about what anyone else is doing. I know lots of very healthy ff kids. I don't know how long I will for this baby. At least a year I hope and I am hoping the start is much smoother because I have some experience. I am dreading the pumping though

I could have written this word for word lol wow - yes!

TMVG · August 2013

junebug1027 said:

TMVG said:

junebug1027 said:

My first could latch, but was tongue tied so breastfeeding was very difficult for her. After the first couple weeks unsuccessfully nursing I decided to pump exclusively. I did that for 9 months until I just couldn't do it anymore.

I hope with this one things will be much smoother.

My DD was tongue tied too - I was rather upset that the lactation consultant didn't figure it out until we came back after leaving the hospital (too much damage). We had a simple procedure done a couple of days later and (aside from other unrelated obstacles) it all worked out. Now I will be asking first thing that LO's tongue be checked. I hope your next will be much smoother, too!

We had the procedure done too but she was already several weeks old so the damage to my supply had already been done. I had to work really hard to get my supply back up. When she did nurse she still took so long that pumping was usually quicker, surprisingly.

Amazing - you and all the mom's who pumped for so long. I had to do some in the first couple of weeks and dread the possibility.

TMVG · August 2013

Nijay714 said:

TMVG said:

junebug1027 said:

My first could latch, but was tongue tied so breastfeeding was very difficult for her. After the first couple weeks unsuccessfully nursing I decided to pump exclusively. I did that for 9 months until I just couldn't do it anymore.

I hope with this one things will be much smoother.

My DD was tongue tied too - I was rather upset that the lactation consultant didn't figure it out until we came back after leaving the hospital (too much damage). We had a simple procedure done a couple of days later and (aside from other unrelated obstacles) it all worked out. Now I will be asking first thing that LO's tongue be checked. I hope your next will be much smoother, too!

Ladies is tongue tied when the thing at the bottom of your tongue goes all the way to the lower tip of your tongue? If so my son was too, I had it clipped when he turned 1.. I really didn't have an issues with it feeding wise, but I thought it would possibly affect his speech in the future so that's why I had the procedure done

Yes - glad it didn't affect nursing!

nikki912 · August 2013

I loved it lost of the time with my son. He nursed until he was a year old and I wasn't sad when he was finished. However a few months later I missed it! Ever since I found out I'm having another one I can't wait to breastfeed again. Such an amazing feeling and I felt so close to the baby!

vballgirl78 · August 2013

I nursed my daughter until she was about 9 months. It was a wonderful experience for both of us, but it was really hard at first and really challenging when I returned to work (pumping when you are a teacher and don't always get a regular break is not easy). I'm definitely planning to breastfeed this time around as well and hopefully now that I've had some experience it won't be quite so hard at the beginning. Fingers crossed!

laf10 · August 2013

I nursed ds 14 months. I'm planning on about the same range this time too.

RubiksElf · August 2013

First time mom, but I'm going to throw everything I can at it.

Also, this option....

...made me giggle.

Beener0514 · August 2013

I *loved* breastfeeding and am so excited to do it again for this baby. I exclusively BF for 7 months and DD weaned herself. I was so sad and cried many nights over it.

SB31 · August 2013

My milk never came in with DD. It was heartbreaking. I have health problems and was severely anemic after the birth. I consulted with LCs, my OB, her pedi, changed my diet, drank the tea, took supplements, pumped like crazy when she wasn't latched on, and gave it my all. After a month I started making 4 oz a day. It lasted 3 months before I dried up. I'm hoping it'll work better this time.

Twirple · August 2013

SB31 said:

My milk never came in with DD. It was heartbreaking. I have health problems and was severely anemic after the birth. I consulted with LCs, my OB, her pedi, changed my diet, drank the tea, took supplements, pumped like crazy when she wasn't latched on, and gave it my all. After a month I started making 4 oz a day. It lasted 3 months before I dried up. I'm hoping it'll work better this time.

This is basically the same thing that happened with a friend of mine with her DS. She was able to EBF her daughter until she started on solids, and still BF her until she was a year old.

SB31 · August 2013

@Twirple That gives me so much hope!

Lizzydarcy618 · August 2013

LittleLady77 said:

I would love to hear from those ladies who just don't want to try and why. I would like to say no judgement here but in all reality you probably get some side-eyes so you would have to be brave... I for one am just curious why someone wouldn't try.

Wow... really? Let's just say that it's none of your business how I feed my kid, just that I DO feed my kid. Trust me, when they're all six months old and in daycare, you're not going to be able to tell who was BF'ed and who wasn't. They'll all be sick because... that's daycare. Also, there's no spot on the application to Harvard to identify if you were BF or FF. Trust me, I teach at the college level and you cannot tell the difference.

Bottom line: stop judging, take care of your kid, and don't starve them.

Lizzydarcy618 · August 2013

adventureolive said:

So far that just leaves vanity and weird sexual hangups. I'd like to hear some of the real reasoning behind that too. I don't think being curious as to why someone would choose formula feeding when breastfeeding is a perfectly viable option for them is shaming, it's curiosity.

Oh, honey boo boo child... re-read your post. If saying that some people who don't BF don't do it because of "weird sexual hangups" isn't judging or shaming, I truly want to know what is.

kennedyc3 · August 2013

BFing with DD was a nightmare! She was never 100% breast milk and I had to switch to full time pumping after a short while. Only made it 5.5 months with her, but I plan to try again with Baby #2.

mmknightly · August 2013

stephaniemthomas said:

I truly want to know why anyone cares how other people feed their child? I was formula fed and was not a sick baby at all and graduated high school at 16. Soooooo.....? As long as people are feeding their kids, who the eff cares how they do it??

Exactly. Even if it is just out of curiosity, it's nobody's business. Keep the curiosity to yourself.

katiedidthat · August 2013

I am still bf-ing my son at 10 months despite flat nipples (a nipple shield has been our crutch all 10 months), jaundice, an upper lip tie, supply tanking on one side and returning to school full time at 3 months. It has been hell but I plan to continue to give it all I've got with him and with the next baby.
As for saggy boobs- I went from a decent size 34b to a 36dd by 2 weeks post partum and I'm now a delightful 34a and 34d combo, so no vanity issues here, haha.

LittleLady77 · August 2013

Lizzydarcy618 said:

LittleLady77 said:

I would love to hear from those ladies who just don't want to try and why. I would like to say no judgement here but in all reality you probably get some side-eyes so you would have to be brave... I for one am just curious why someone wouldn't try.

Wow... really? Let's just say that it's none of your business how I feed my kid, just that I DO feed my kid. Trust me, when they're all six months old and in daycare, you're not going to be able to tell who was BF'ed and who wasn't. They'll all be sick because... that's daycare. Also, there's no spot on the application to Harvard to identify if you were BF or FF. Trust me, I teach at the college level and you cannot tell the difference.

Bottom line: stop judging, take care of your kid, and don't starve them.

All I said was I won't judge but there are women who will so be ready to take some criticism if you post. I'm not going to judge here, I've never been through it. I would like to think I will BF but I might not like it. I asked a question on a public forum and we were only getting one side of the story. There are women who choose not to BF, I have a few friends who have made that choice. Why not talk about it in a confidential setting?

No one can tell the difference on BF kids or FF kids- true. That being said, the research is still out there that say BFing is a little better and has lifelong benefits. Are the negligible, yes. If you want to argue that the research if void or wrong, fine go ahead but don't come after me for stating that it does indeed exist.

Thanks for letting me know what I can and cannot post about... oh and the advice on not starving my future kid- that was helpful.

DemoDoll · August 2013

adventureolive said:

PurpleSnapDragons said:

So far that just leaves vanity and weird sexual hangups. I'd like to hear some of the real reasoning behind that too. I don't think being curious as to why someone would choose formula feeding when breastfeeding is a perfectly viable option for them is shaming, it's curiosity.

Some weird sexual hang up? Umm try sexual abuse...something hopefully you never experienced. It's something you never get over and for some women, anyone touching their boobs brings them back to that abuse. Check yourself before you bring judgement on others. Hmm, it is twatwaffle Tuesday, isn't it?

Love your child with all your heart and feed them whatever way is best for your family, that's a #1 mom in my book!

DemoDoll · August 2013

LittleLady77 said:

Lizzydarcy618 said:

LittleLady77 said:

I would love to hear from those ladies who just don't want to try and why. I would like to say no judgement here but in all reality you probably get some side-eyes so you would have to be brave... I for one am just curious why someone wouldn't try.

Wow... really? Let's just say that it's none of your business how I feed my kid, just that I DO feed my kid. Trust me, when they're all six months old and in daycare, you're not going to be able to tell who was BF'ed and who wasn't. They'll all be sick because... that's daycare. Also, there's no spot on the application to Harvard to identify if you were BF or FF. Trust me, I teach at the college level and you cannot tell the difference.

Bottom line: stop judging, take care of your kid, and don't starve them.

All I said was I won't judge but there are women who will so be ready to take some criticism if you post. I'm not going to judge here, I've never been through it. I would like to think I will BF but I might not like it. I asked a question on a public forum and we were only getting one side of the story. There are women who choose not to BF, I have a few friends who have made that choice. Why not talk about it in a confidential setting?

No one can tell the difference on BF kids or FF kids- true. That being said, the research is still out there that say BFing is a little better and has lifelong benefits. Are the negligible, yes. If you want to argue that the research if void or wrong, fine go ahead but don't come after me for stating that it does indeed exist.

Thanks for letting me know what I can and cannot post about... oh and the advice on not starving my future kid- that was
helpful.

Did you even read your own sentence? You said you WOULD judge.

Holljade · August 2013

I would say ppl might not want to bf bc its fucking hard.

Also some people have to be put on medications after birth that arent safe for the baby.

Also? They just dont want to.

If their kids are fed and taken care of who cares.

DemoDoll · August 2013

I should contribute to the original question.

I BF DD for 6 months. It was a roller coaster of emotion. The first 2 months were emotionally draining. We had latch issues, low supply, nipple blanching, etc. I worked my ass off and got my supply up and was EBF. Then I returned to work and could only pump 75% of what she needed. Every couple of weeks it kept getting less and less, even if I increased my pumping time, sessions, bought new tubing, new shields, tried two different pumps, etc. the pump couldn't get the milk out like my DD could. It finally dwindled to less than an oz per session. I quit pumping and only BF at home when DD wanted to. I LOVED it!

All in all. I'm proud of myself for what I accomplished but sometimes I feel like I would have been happier and a better mom if I hadn't stressed and caused so much anger at myself for "failing."

Now I see these studies out there and wonder how accurate they are. DD was only given BM for 6 months yet she has had pneumonia twice, along with the big at daycare that was breastfed until he was 2. All the kids I know who have been breastfed have been sick as much, if not, more than FF babies. Plus my kid is saying more words than a 1.5 year old at this point. The doctor said she is off the charts for all of her milestones.

nikki912 · August 2013

I for one am embarrassed that our generation has decided to make breastfeeding so entirely taboo and touchy. Do it, don't do it whatever. If you choose to do it- please don't judge others in their choice not to. If you don't do it please be confident enough in your decision not to implode when someone asks about it or talks about their own experiences. Maybe she thinks she's better than you but chances are she doesnt- and who really cares. Lets support eachother ladies, women have enough struggles with men when it comes to breastfeeding- we don't need it from eachother too.

Love and light.

LittleLady77 · August 2013

DemoDoll said: Did you even read your own sentence? You said you WOULD judge.

In looking back it does come off that way, but I honestly don't judge people who don't BF. My cousin decided it just wasn't for her, I still love her and her kid. My intention was just to say if you do come out, just know it's an unpopular opinion.

The truth of the mater is that there is research that says it's better... that's undeniable. Yet every mom I know talks about how hard it is and how they feel like a failure if they don't EBF. In reality I wonder if the stress and toll BFing takes is worth those so called benefits which ironically is what you elude to in your post.

I appreciate you sharing your story and I appreciate a few ladies who came on here and said they aren't going to try. It's their choice and it doesn't affect my life at all. I wonder if those same ladies are going to be rolling their eyes at me in a year from now when I'm frantically trying to get the BFing going and hating myself for failing while they sit back and watch DH give the baby a bottle.

Lastly, as far the the "intelligence" piece goes, The studies I have read clearly state that the level of intelligence difference was based on an IQ test and the delta between children who were BF and ones who weren’t was less than 4 IQ points which is negligible at best.

AcaAwkward · August 2013

DemoDoll said:

I should contribute to the original question. I BF DD for 6 months. It was a roller coaster of emotion. The first 2 months were emotionally draining. We had latch issues, low supply, nipple blanching, etc. I worked my ass off and got my supply up and was EBF. Then I returned to work and could only pump 75% of what she needed. Every couple of weeks it kept getting less and less, even if I increased my pumping time, sessions, bought new tubing, new shields, tried two different pumps, etc. the pump couldn't get the milk out like my DD could. It finally dwindled to less than an oz per session. I quit pumping and only BF at home when DD wanted to. I LOVED it! All in all. I'm proud of myself for what I accomplished but sometimes I feel like I would have been happier and a better mom if I hadn't stressed and caused so much anger at myself for "failing." Now I see these studies out there and wonder how accurate they are. DD was only given BM for 6 months yet she has had pneumonia twice, along with the big at daycare that was breastfed until he was 2. All the kids I know who have been breastfed have been sick as much, if not, more than FF babies. Plus my kid is saying more words than a 1.5 year old at this point. The doctor said she is off the charts for all of her milestones.

I always chuckle when people cite immunity to the sickies as a benefit for BFing... I'm sure there's merit to it, but my EBF kid has been sick A LOT. Just little viruses (and thankfully nothing in the first 6 months), but she gets them just as often as or maybe more than her FF peers do... And I'm never sick. I sure wish BM would erase all those germs she picks up when gnawing on the Target shopping cart handle the minute my back is turned, but it hasn't been a magic bullet for us!

PregoPuma · August 2013

I BF'd my DS the entire 1st yr AND still had1400 oz of frozen BM leftover to donate to Milkin' Mamas here in Orange County, Ca. The BM goes to babies who are sick, premies, babies in need in the NICU. They also make medicine out of it for these babies. I would do it all over again. And I plan to

champ579 · August 2013

Still bf here, my dd is beginning to wean, I'm super sad.

DIY7 · August 2013

Nope. I wish, but nope.

melzh · August 2013

I had a very slow let down with DD so I exclusively pumped. Will try again but will have to start pumpjng by 4 wks for daycare supply

Twirple · August 2013

PregoPuma said:

I BF'd my DS the entire 1st yr AND still had1400 oz of frozen BM leftover to donate to Milkin' Mamas here in Orange County, Ca. The BM goes to babies who are sick, premies, babies in need in the NICU. They also make medicine out of it for these babies. I would do it all over again. And I plan to

I donated some leftover breastmilk on Human milk 4 Human babies. I made so much milk that for 5 months I only had to pump once a day at work to get everything that DS needed for the next day. Now that there is a milk bank collection site here, I plan to pump more next time and donate the rest.

Mandyw75 · August 2013

Can I ask the ladies that had lots of milk come in if they did anything or was there any contributing factors to help that along? I breastfed my son until he was 14 months but I always felt I didn't have lots and lots and it was a bit of a struggle. My mother did not breastfeed me and I wish that she had of.

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