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July 2013 Moms
lrichmond86
member
dh vent
lrichmond86
member
This post is going to make dh sound like a jerk and he's really not. I promise he's a good husband and dad. Is just that he's totally clueless about what I do during the day and it's starting to make me resent him. For some reason dh seems to think that what I do while he's at work is very easy (like I'm lucky to me on summer vacation and not have to "work"), and that because I sometimes become frustrated on tough days I must need his advice on how to do things the "right" way. He's constantly telling me how to do things for dd that I obviously already know how to do. This weekend I had a college friend visiting and he had a lot of time during the day that he was solely responsible for dd. By Sunday evening he was so frustrated that he was snapping at everyone who he came in contact with. When I pointed out to him that maybe my job is tougher than he thought, his response was that "she's not usually this bad". No, dh, she's pretty much the same every day. I'm a terrible sleeper, so even when he gets up with the baby at night I always end up being awake for at least an hour after. I'm freaking exhausted. And yet tonight when I woke him up because it was his turn to feed her and she was crying, he asked if I could just do it "since I was already awake anyway". Seriously? I wasn't awake until she woke me up! He tries. He really does. He just had NO IDEA! I want to talk to him about it, but he will most certainly be offended if I criticize his parenting. I don't want to make him feel bad, I just want him to recognize that what I do all day isn't so easy, and that he could be more helpful by working with me instead of giving me advice. Sorry for complaining. I should me very thankful for having such a wonderful family, but I just needed to vent.
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Re: dh vent
It must be the season for the July daddies to collectively implant their heads up their asses, because I could have written almost the exact same thing. Last night, DH asked if he could go out for 1 beer with some friends. He'd be home at 10. LO started crying at 8, so at 930 I called him to make sure he was on his way out the door. Yeah, he showed up at 11 (he left for work at noon.) Then, he had the nerve to tell me today that it was "my turn" since he fed him the previous time. I said, "I get plenty of consecutive feedings. And I'm pretty sure I'll be on duty all night because he's getting his vaccinations today. This one's on you" and walked away. Then, he made me worry he was going to miss the doctors apt which I had explicitly told him I didn't want to go to alone. (He did make it on time.) DS has been fussy a lot lately and DH has a hard time calming him down. I know he's getting disheartened, but the solution to that is to spend MORE time with him, not less. He was SO involved in the beginning, and now it seems like he just wants to do the minimum. I know I need to be encouraging and not pissy, but it's hard.
Even aside from all of that, take heart. I have read and heard time and time again that Dad's find their groove a little later than moms do. Best of luck!
TTC/BFP/FF details in bio
Right. I wouldn't wake dh up unless he told me to. Don't tell me one thing and change your mind while we're sleeping!