Community› The Bump Message Boards› Working Moms
Working Moms
New Discussion

different kind of guilt question

Curls218Curls218 member
in Working Moms
I have 5 1/2 weeks until my due date.  I have been busting my butt at work over the last few months because I know that starting next month I won't be able to do the after work hour stuff that my job necessitates (I work in entertainment) until after the new year at the earliest, plus I'll be out for 10ish weeks while other people do my work.  I've always been one who didn't like to give up control or delegate, definitely a "if I want it done right I should do it myself" type.  While I have embraced that a bit more over the past few years, I have just been feeling horribly guilty about completely checking out from work for such a long period of time.

My boss actually said to me the other day that I need to start cutting myself some slack and not drive myself crazy.  But I don't know how to do that!  I am not passing my work off on others until closer to baby's arrival, and I'm still feeling well enough to do the after hour stuff.  I am now realizing that I can't continue like this until I go into labor, so I do need to step back at some point.  But I feel like my coworkers are going to think I'm just being lazy.  Which I know is ridiculous, but that's a feeling I can't shake.

I assume a few others of you are/were workaholics.  How did you transition into maternity leave/being a mom from your go-go-go mindset??
Lilypie First Birthday tickers
Report Reply to Post

Re: different kind of guilt question

  • costa2011costa2011 member
    I was a workaholic until I had my daughter. I go back to work Thursday and I'm basically in tears just thinking about it. Everything changed when she was born. I went to visit my job w/ the baby 1/2 way thru my leave and I was telling my boss how I felt now and she even said that kids will always give you a different perspective about what's important. Yes, working is important financially, but there are bigger things. Not to say that you'll definitely feel like that too, but I'm sure after you have your LO, the guilt will subside.

    "No one will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you're the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside." -Unknown

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    imageimageimageimage

    Anniversary

    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • michaelaskedlaurenmichaelaskedlauren member

    Once you have a baby, you will be amazed at how much your perspective changes (in a good way), this applied to me 100%. I know it is hard now to look at the big picture since your baby isnt in your arms quite yet, but once he/she is youll be amazed at how natural it feels to dial it back. And to be honest I feel like I get just as much done only working 8 hour days as I did when I pulled 15 hour ones!

    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

    zachary happens! | little fish :)

    runtri

    Report Reply
  • DiveFrogDiveFrog member

    I totally felt the same way. And I kicked myself for weeks after I had DD because she ended up unexpectedly coming 4weeks early. So basically there ended up being very little hand-off to the person that was covering for me and in the end things went far less smoothly then if I would have slowed down earlier and transitioned things earlier.

    Next time around with 6-8 weeks to go things are going to be lined up and officially moved off my plate.

    Report Reply
  • Curls218Curls218 member
    DiveFrog said:

    I totally felt the same way. And I kicked myself for weeks after I had DD because she ended up unexpectedly coming 4weeks early. So basically there ended up being very little hand-off to the person that was covering for me and in the end things went far less smoothly then if I would have slowed down earlier and transitioned things earlier.

    Next time around with 6-8 weeks to go things are going to be lined up and officially moved off my plate.

    I realized with the work I took home to complete over the weekend I had everything with ME so if I had to go to the hospital or something I would have been SOL getting all the info back to my coworkers.  I think I'm going to start taking copies home so at the very least they'll know what's in the works and have access to contact numbers, etc.
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    Report Reply
  • laurakaz13laurakaz13 member

    I am definitely a workaholic too.  I used to work long hours, go to the gym, hang with DH and do more work at home, then do it all over again.  Once I had DD, I did change my ways a bit. 

    I took 3 1/2 months maternity leave.  Going back was tough for a bit, but I was glad to be back fairly quickly.  I am still super driven at work, but I do not stay late anymore unless 100% necessary. 

    I'm 100% not the SAHM type though, so that would never be an option for me no matter what.  I am about to leave for a 3 week international trip overseas for work, I will say it is a bit too long for me.  :-(

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • SparkySharkySparkySharky member
    I worked all the way up until I had DS except for a week of vacation I had to take or lose. I ended up having him while I was on vacation. I think it was harder being at home for that last week, b/c I suddenly realized how effing big I was and that just getting off the couch was like trying to move the sun. As you get closer to the end, work will likely be a welcome distraction.

    After I had DS, my world changed. I was still "me" all the way up until I had him. After I had him, I still checked my email from time to time during leave, b/c sometimes I needed a break from being a full-time mom; but at the end of the day, I realized that my most stressful and miserable times were when I was trying to keep up some old pre-mom habit. Once I let it go and made my son my first priority, things worked much better. I was much closer to getting everything done than I was when I tried to put my DS on hold. That just doesn't work, dude, never mind the crazy guilt of being the only woman in the world whose shoulders it's on to make sure this sweet thing thrives - and not doing it for even a minute.

    Even now, I'll get wrapped up in work for a few hours and be the "old me," but then I remember the sweet baby boy I have at home and I feel like a 5-year-old with a really great toy waiting for me at home. You still work your butt off - but now you just can't wait to get home.

    So I guess my advice is - don't sweat it. If you feel like working, work. If you're in touch with yourself, what you want to do will also be what you should do.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"