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Is it wrong to say no kids at the baby shower?

SmsgstewartSmsgstewart
in Baby Showers
My mother in law is throwing me a baby shower. My husband has a huge family. I don't mind that there will be a lot of people there but I really don't want kids there. I feel like they would be bored anyways and the kids in his family I've met are pretty annoying. I don't want it to take away from my attention or make the baby shower less fun. Would it be rude to say no children on the invitations?
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Re: Is it wrong to say no kids at the baby shower?

  • SmsgstewartSmsgstewart
    Ok. I've never been to a baby shower but I just picture it being more for adults. I wouldn't wanna go if there's gonna be a ton of annoying kids there
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  • EastCoastBrideEastCoastBride member

    Yeah.  Child free showers are perfectly fine.  I've actually never been to a baby shower that had kids there.  Totally fine.

    BUT the attitude of "i want all the attention on ME!"- not pleasant.  Even at weddings- ALL attention actually isn't on the bride the whole time.  People will be having side conversations, eating, paying attention to other stuff.  Whether kids are there or not.

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  • Sam Buttons Sam Buttons member
    As a PP mentioned, you will be a mother of an annoying child some day. Its inevitable. So, I'd take a minute to think about that fact before I start throwing that sentiment around. Also, wanting all the attention on you? Come on. I don't mean to be rude, but you realize that comes with motherhood - the attention will never be just on you. Plus it sounds super bratty.

    That said, childfree party's are fine, but it's up to the host.
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  • mysticlmysticl member
    Like others said, child free is fine.  The only shower I've been to that had kids was my own.  It was a family shower and they were family (also they were the host and hostess' kids so it's not like they were going to kick their own kids out of their house).  

    However you should keep in mind that stating no kids could cause some people not to come.  Some people don't like to go to events where their child isn't welcome.  Some people don't have anyone to watch their children for them.  You also probably shouldn't tell your mother-in-law that you find her cousins, nieces, nephews, grandchildren (whatever the relation) to be annoying.  
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  • ArgyleBrideArgyleBride member
    No kids is fine, but please, please do not put it on the invitation--that would be rude.  The names of the people/person invited should be on the envelope--that's it.
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  • FemShepFemShep member
    How on earth will having kids around take away from your attention? If the hostess would prefer to have adults only at the shower, that is certainly her prerogative. However, it's the hostess' decision, having kids around doesn't diminish your oh-so-special all-about-you party in the slightest, and many little girls would be thrilled to attend a baby shower. So you may want to check your assumptions, mom-to-be.
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  • BallSoxBallSox member
    I'm in the "I guess if you're inviting someone who has a brat of a child and you don't want them to throw a big scene and ruin the hostesses house but you can't just NOT invite THEM so you have to have no kids at all" camp as pretty much all family events around here are for the entire family.  

    HOWEVER, I think it's amusing when it's a no-kid event because a mom to be or guest to honor wants everyone's undivided attention.   

    FFC time?  Pretty much every time I see someone talk about wanting a no-kid event, I automatically assume it's because the guest(s) of honor are attention whores, not because there's one or two specific kids they don't want there.  
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  • SmsgstewartSmsgstewart
    Idk why it's so wrong to want a shower to be about me and have attention one last time. Cuz once the baby is born ill never have the attention on me. And I don't want the kids there because those specific kids are so annoying and crazy. I usually love kids but that group of kids drive me crazy and their parents don't know how to control them
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  • Jeveritt11Jeveritt11 member
    BallSox said:

    I'm in the "I guess if you're inviting someone who has a brat of a child and you don't want them to throw a big scene and ruin the hostesses house but you can't just NOT invite THEM so you have to have no kids at all" camp as pretty much all family events around here are for the entire family.  

    HOWEVER, I think it's amusing when it's a no-kid event because a mom to be or guest to honor wants everyone's undivided attention.   

    FFC time?  Pretty much every time I see someone talk about wanting a no-kid event, I automatically assume it's because the guest(s) of honor are attention whores, not because there's one or two specific kids they don't want there.  


    This!
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  • EastCoastBrideEastCoastBride member
     
    Smsgstewart said:
    Idk why it's so wrong to want a shower to be about me and have attention one last time. Cuz once the baby is born ill never have the attention on me. 
    O.k. then.  Go on w/ your attention needing self, then. 
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    ~Benjamin Franklin

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  • MMason12MMason12 member
    I think the fact that you don't want children at the event because you want all the attention on yourself is bratty.  

    These ladies are taking time out of the day to attend to your shower and have more than likely bought you a shower gift -- how can you not view that as being about you?  What do you expect that these women do throughout the shower? Are you going to get offend if they spend time talking to each other and not swooning over you every moment of the shower?

    With that being said -- you are not the host of the shower. Your Mother-in-law is. A shower is a gift that she is offering to host you and you should be grateful for the gift. Since your Mother-in-law is hosting the shower she gets to make the decision on the guest list and by extension whether or not kids will or will not be invited.  You could voice your opinion on the issue to her; however, it is her decision in the end. 

    On a side note -- If I found out that the guest of honor at a Baby Shower did not want kids around because they thought there were "annoying and crazy" (as you called them above) I would be wondering 1) why the heck they decided to have a baby and 2) I wouldn't attend as I would be insulted that all you wanted was me to swoon over you and give you a gift. 
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  • BallSoxBallSox member
    So basically you just want your friends around so that you can get their presents, but not actually spend time with them and their family? 

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Little Man (4 years old---holy cow)
    He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be.  He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.  
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  • SmsgstewartSmsgstewart
    It's not any of my friends it's just my husbands family and I haven't met most of them yet so I won't really know anyone there. But I don't care about presents I'm not really expecting any cuz his family is poor. I just want a nice party where I can get to know his family
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  • SmsgstewartSmsgstewart
    My husband and I just got married he's in the Air Force so we don't live near either of our families he just met my family last week. And like I said I don't care about the presents I'm not expecting anything from his family
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  • Disneygeek77Disneygeek77 member

    Sure you can request no children, that is fine, just don't be too surprised if some can't make it because of that. 

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  • SmsgstewartSmsgstewart
    Well it doesn't matter anymore cuz I guess my husband lied and his mom isn't throwing me a shower she had no idea what I was talking about when I asked her what day worked for the baby shower
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  • notkateanymorenotkateanymore member
    I have no issue with no kids at a shower, but your reasoning is a little crappy.
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  • notkateanymorenotkateanymore member
    Smsgstewart said:
    Well it doesn't matter anymore cuz I guess my husband lied and his mom isn't throwing me a shower she had no idea what I was talking about when I asked her what day worked for the baby shower
    Maybe it's a surprise? Why would he lie?
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  • SmsgstewartSmsgstewart
    He said that when my mom said she was throwing me a shower he wanted his mom to look good too so he said she was throwing me one too but he never actually asked her
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  • Disneygeek77Disneygeek77 member

    And he shouldn't.  A shower is a gift and should come from her.  Sounds like you aren't getting one from his side.

    You also need to talk to him about lying because he just made you out to be a fool.

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  • SmsgstewartSmsgstewart
    Yeah I know he's bad with communication and says things to make himself look good
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  • notkateanymorenotkateanymore member
    There is a big difference between bad with communication and lying. He's lying.
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  • nah82nah82 member
    I feel more like you are the one who is lying, to us.  First you said that you didn't want kids at the party because you knew these specific kids and they are bratty and that's why you don't want them there.  Then you say you have never met his family and you aren't worried about presents, you just want to get to know everyone.  Soo, you just know these specific kids that you haven't met are bratty so you don't want them at your shower?
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  • SmsgstewartSmsgstewart
    I met his brother and little cousins and I know they're Annoying. He has a huge family I've only met his mom, brother, aunt, and cousins cuz they were there when we eloped. And I want to get to know his family without annoying kids around. I hardly know his mom cuz his brother is always with us misbehaving so she spends the whole time were at dinner or wherever we are trying to get him to stop. I can't even talk to her cuz his brother interrupts the conversation or has a meltdown
    And like I said a few weeks ago my husband told me his mom was throwing me a shower after my mom said she was. cuz he's competitive and wants his family to look good too. But when I texted his mom
    Asking what day she was thinking for the shower she didn't know what I was talking about. And I confronted my husband and he told the truth she was never throwing me one. So this post doesnt matter anymore cuz im
    Not having one with his family so get a life and move on to another post. I hope it cleared it up for some people that for some reason wanted to know all my drama. I thought that ended after high school but I guess not
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  • SmsgstewartSmsgstewart
    That's your choice
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  • linzerdlinzerd member
    I'm wondering if what OP meant was that she didn't want HER OWN attention to be focused on the children? And forgive me if someone already addressed this, I didn't read all the answers. I have been to showers where there were children, and I suppose it depends on the atmosphere. At one there was only one child and she became obsessed with being the person to pass the gifts to the mama, which was kind of annoying. But then one guest, the cousin of the mama, who I could tell was annoyed, kind if freaked out a bit when it came time for her gift, because it was a fragile and breakable gift and so, she didn't want a 6 year old carrying it.
    The other I attended, was another friend who loves children and there are many in her family. Her shower was outside and there were also a lot of men there w/ their SO's, so it wasn't a big deal or surprising at all that there were kids too.
    I know there will be kids at mine b/c my niece will be invited, my bff's daughter (the baby from the first shower I mentioned) will surely be there, and the baby from the 2nd shower I mentioned I'm sure.
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  • linzerdlinzerd member
    So never mind everything I said about the attention thing, just read the rest and now I guess everything is null and void since there is no shower? Oh well, I shared my experiences with kids at b-showers though!
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  • MMason12MMason12 member
    Smsgstewart said:
    Yeah I know he's bad with communication and says things to make himself look good
    Well, don't the two of you have an awesome marriage built on love, trust and honesty. **Eye rolls**

    There is a huge difference between miscommunication and him just flat out lying to you to make him and his family look good. He's lying. And if he is lying about simple little things like this to make him and his family look good then what else is he lying to you about. 
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    Married: August 2012
    BFP #1 9/2013 -- MC 10/2013
    DD: 9/22/2014           
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  • SmsgstewartSmsgstewart
    Ok I'm just deleting this app. I thought this was suppose to be a place to ask questions and get support not get bullied by strangers. I don't appreciate random people insulting me and trying to make me feel bad. You don't know me or what I've been though so I'm done with this app
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