Experienced moms- scarring experiences?

StephBrim24 · August 2013

Okay, so I know we're all going to have temptations to share our horrifying experiences with childbirth with FTM's, which is fine. However, to maybe soften the blow, who wants to share them now? It'll be therapeutic for us (maybe) and be ummmm...educational for the FTM's that peak in? Get sharing! What was your scarring experience from childbirth/recovery? Mine- 3rd degree tear. Can't tell you how awful it is to not know you're going to poop until it's just about falling out. No recognition of the feeling at all. How's that for TMI?!

JayNina · August 2013

Ugh, I had a 3rd degree tear as well. DD was almost a year old before I felt completely normal down there.

karen31186 · August 2013

I had to have an emergency c-section and the incision ended up not healing right. They had to reopen part of the incision and a home health nurse had to come out twice a day to pack my incision. NOT FUN!!!

liamandlettie · August 2013

I think I've told it but ill sum it up. There were MANY factors that lead to what I think was a freak delivery. No doctor. No episiotomy. Yes to epi ( thank you jesus). 4th degree tear with extreme blood loss. I don't remember holding my son for the first time but I do remember singing Come Together during repair surgery. Lol. Took over a year to recover (a month to just stand up straight). I had physical therapy down there for months and countless nights crying after or during sex. BUT with all that...I definitely wanted this baby. I know I can do it again...just not sure hoooooow it will all play out. I'd love to hear birth plans for other moms with this experience!!

totalbabydoll4ever · August 2013

1. Demoral suppressed my son's breathing so he was taken instantly and put on oxygen, I didn't get to hold/see him.

2. 3rd degree tear with severe bleeding and clotting, resulting in me fainting and being on bed rest for 36 hours and not allowed to be alone with my son while standing for 2 weeks, until my iron was high enough to be ok. ( I do have a deficiency to begin with). Also needing a catheter b/c i was too swollen to pee.

On the bright side, my labour and delivery was very easy. Just under 6 hours with no pain during contractions and I did not have an epidural. I think that I paid for it after.

Everyone is totally different. Just keep in mind that all of these stories are totally different because people are different, and their pain tolerace is different and the was we perceive pain is different. I can guarantee that your experience will be different than everyone else's because you are not like anyone else.

Keep in mind, no matter how your little one enters the world, it will end, the pain and discomfort, no matter how much you feel (if any), it will all be over.

Have a wonderful birth experience and make it your own!!

nicolesspirit · August 2013

Epidural insertion spot did not heal and leaked spinal fluid and left me feeling like I was literally going to die from my head bursting. Blood patch fixed it immediately but I sweat thinking about it happening again.

Oh, take Colace immediately a couple days prior to a C-section if you know ahead of time. post surg. poos are THE WORST.

liamandlettie · August 2013

Oh, take Colace immediately a couple days prior to a C-section if you know ahead of time. post surg. poos are THE WORST.

Ooooooh the worst. Gripped the garbage can and hummed as loud as possible!!! Lol

StephBrim24 · August 2013

FarmBoysWife said:
Maybe someone has access to those peer reviewed journals

Ohhhh don't you bring that here! No hijacking the thread! Let's keep this about our own scarring experiences! ::head in hands::

KariB509 · August 2013

Overall my labor and delivery wasn't bad. I did have an episiotomy though, which I'm sure was better than massively tearing, but the healing process was not fun. Not sure if this is how normal healing is, but I was pretty much unable to walk any more than a few steps for the first week or so without being in a lot of pain from the pressure down there. Then, even several months after I gave birth, sex was awful. It was at least 6 months until it started feeling good again.

liamandlettie · August 2013

FarmBoysWife said:

jenniemac2000 said:

I think I've told it but ill sum it up. There were MANY factors that lead to what I think was a freak delivery. No doctor. No episiotomy. Yes to epi ( thank you jesus). 4th degree tear with extreme blood loss. I don't remember holding my son for the first time but I do remember singing Come Together during repair surgery. Lol. Took over a year to recover (a month to just stand up straight). I had physical therapy down there for months and countless nights crying after or during sex. BUT with all that...I definitely wanted this baby. I know I can do it again...just not sure hoooooow it will all play out. I'd love to hear birth plans for other moms with this experience!!

Just a question- did you do unassisted pushing or were you told? I thought somewhere I read that if you wait to push when your body is ready/you feel the urge to push there is less tearing (it would make sense, if the body isn't ready, its not ready)

I'm partially curious as my midwives don't do directed pushing, they only let you push when you tell them you want to.

Maybe someone has access to those peer reviewed journals

Initially I was pushing with each contraction. I could feel them. The nurse was telling me to push, breath, relax, push harder, etc. I had an epidural but I could definitely feel them coming. At some point the nurse kept telling me to stop pushing. We had no doctor and I needed to stop. At that point it was outta my contol. I was screaming for help and pushing. after that...it was a little chaotic. But baby was fine the whole time. Because there was no doctor, I feel like I never got answers. The doc that did my repair is now my doctor. He thinks that another vaginal delivery is favorable. I think he has a penis.

karacakes98 · August 2013

No hubby, no meds, no one handing me my baby post-birth, an episiotomy sans meds, my mother watching DD be born...ugh. I suppose I'll take it over my sister's experience, though.

When my sister went into labor, she was in so much pain she almost passed out. She eventually abandoned hopes of an unmedicated birth and got an epidural. Baby wasn't tolerating labor, so she was rushed off for an emergency C - section. Her last memory is of the doc saying something along the lines of, "Um, we're going to need to put you under," and next thing she knew she awoke in the ICU with a port in her neck. Turned out her uterus had attached to her colon and every contraction was literally ripping her insides apart. She ended up with a perforated bowel, lost tons and tons of blood, and now cannot have any more children. The doc who operated told her when she opened her up it looked like a bomb had gone off. My sis was out of town when she went into labor and happened to go to very good teaching hospital and was told that, had she been elsewhere, odds were the doc wouldn't have been able to save her without doing a complete hysterectomy and that she very well could have died in the process.

liamandlettie · August 2013

FarmBoysWife said:

jenniemac2000 said:

FarmBoysWife said:

jenniemac2000 said:

I think I've told it but ill sum it up. There were MANY factors that lead to what I think was a freak delivery. No doctor. No episiotomy. Yes to epi ( thank you jesus). 4th degree tear with extreme blood loss. I don't remember holding my son for the first time but I do remember singing Come Together during repair surgery. Lol. Took over a year to recover (a month to just stand up straight). I had physical therapy down there for months and countless nights crying after or during sex. BUT with all that...I definitely wanted this baby. I know I can do it again...just not sure hoooooow it will all play out. I'd love to hear birth plans for other moms with this experience!!

Just a question- did you do unassisted pushing or were you told? I thought somewhere I read that if you wait to push when your body is ready/you feel the urge to push there is less tearing (it would make sense, if the body isn't ready, its not ready)

I'm partially curious as my midwives don't do directed pushing, they only let you push when you tell them you want to.

Maybe someone has access to those peer reviewed journals
Initially I was pushing with each contraction. I could feel them. The nurse was telling me to push, breath, relax, push harder, etc. I had an epidural but I could definitely feel them coming. At some point the nurse kept telling me to stop pushing. We had no doctor and I needed to stop. At that point it was outta my contol. I was screaming for help and pushing. after that...it was a little chaotic. But baby was fine the whole time. Because there was no doctor, I feel like I never got answers. The doc that did my repair is now my doctor. He thinks that another vaginal delivery is favorable. I think he has a penis.

Ahhhh, well.. sometimes when nature calls, doc's gotta be on its time.

But that last line has me cracking up!

As a FTM then, you know what I feared the most? An episiotomy. Jokes on me.

memali26 · August 2013

I've been pretty lucky. Despite long inductions, the most traumatic part of either of my deliveries was my epidural failing after a few hours with DD2. She was posterior until about an hour before birth, so I had horrible, horrible back labor. I got the epi to help with that, but after it failed I just completely checked out. There are at least 3-4 hours of labor I just don't remember, and DH says I was pretty non-responsive. I'm pretty sure I'll take that failed epi over these 3rd and 4th degree tears you ladies are talking about, though!

BethRN1987 · August 2013

karacakes98 said:
No hubby, no meds, no one handing me my baby post-birth, an episiotomy sans meds, my mother watching DD be born...ugh. I suppose I'll take it over my sister's experience, though.

When my sister went into labor, she was in so much pain she almost passed out. She eventually abandoned hopes of an unmedicated birth and got an epidural. Baby wasn't tolerating labor, so she was rushed off for an emergency C - section. Her last memory is of the doc saying something along the lines of, "Um, we're going to need to put you under," and next thing she knew she awoke in the ICU with a port in her neck. Turned out her uterus had attached to her colon and every contraction was literally ripping her insides apart. She ended up with a perforated bowel, lost tons and tons of blood, and now cannot have any more children. The doc who operated told her when she opened her up it looked like a bomb had gone off. My sis was out of town when she went into labor and happened to go to very good teaching hospital and was told that, had she been elsewhere, odds were the doc wouldn't have been able to save her without doing a complete hysterectomy and that she very well could have died in the process.

This scares the shit out of me! I have mega colon and last time I had a laparoscopy they had the cut my bowels away from my stomach. I didn't think about this being an issue during pregnancy- I think I will be talking with my doctor about how to ensure this does t happen.

jwls84 · August 2013

Let's see! Things were going great, progressing quickly, then the pushing started and nothing was happening. B was sunny side up and they didn't know since I didn't exhibit typical symptoms (back pain). Then his heart rate dropped, then stopped and they said I had to do vacuum assisted. I did an unmediated birth and the vacuum was brutal and resulted in a 3rf degree tear AND 2 episiotomies.
After getting stitched up the doctor said here is a prescription for stool softener, you cannot become constipated or I'll tear all the stitches holding my rectal muscles together. I have never been do scared to poop!

hisbeautyalways · August 2013

jenniemac2000 said:

As a FTM then, you know what I feared the most? An episiotomy. Jokes on me.

My biggest fear was c-section (I had a vaginal birth, so yay for success there).... second biggest was episiotomy. They gave me a damn episiotomy, and I got two tears. That is my fear again... it was a horrible recovery.

I also have plenty of other bad things to say about my first birth, but I think I've posted bits and pieces just about everywhere already, and I have a sleeping toddler on my lap.

StephBrim24 · August 2013

MadApple said:

@karacakes98 Your sister's story = Wow.

Exactly! Wow!

liamandlettie · August 2013

FarmBoysWife said:

jenniemac2000 said:

FarmBoysWife said:

jenniemac2000 said:

FarmBoysWife said:

jenniemac2000 said:

I think I've told it but ill sum it up. There were MANY factors that lead to what I think was a freak delivery. No doctor. No episiotomy. Yes to epi ( thank you jesus). 4th degree tear with extreme blood loss. I don't remember holding my son for the first time but I do remember singing Come Together during repair surgery. Lol. Took over a year to recover (a month to just stand up straight). I had physical therapy down there for months and countless nights crying after or during sex. BUT with all that...I definitely wanted this baby. I know I can do it again...just not sure hoooooow it will all play out. I'd love to hear birth plans for other moms with this experience!!

Just a question- did you do unassisted pushing or were you told? I thought somewhere I read that if you wait to push when your body is ready/you feel the urge to push there is less tearing (it would make sense, if the body isn't ready, its not ready)

I'm partially curious as my midwives don't do directed pushing, they only let you push when you tell them you want to.

Maybe someone has access to those peer reviewed journals
Initially I was pushing with each contraction. I could feel them. The nurse was telling me to push, breath, relax, push harder, etc. I had an epidural but I could definitely feel them coming. At some point the nurse kept telling me to stop pushing. We had no doctor and I needed to stop. At that point it was outta my contol. I was screaming for help and pushing. after that...it was a little chaotic. But baby was fine the whole time. Because there was no doctor, I feel like I never got answers. The doc that did my repair is now my doctor. He thinks that another vaginal delivery is favorable. I think he has a penis.

Ahhhh, well.. sometimes when nature calls, doc's gotta be on its time.

But that last line has me cracking up!

As a FTM then, you know what I feared the most? An episiotomy. Jokes on me.

Ohh!!! One more question.. and i promise not to ask for peer reviewed journals..

But did your mom tear if she birthed you vaginally?

You know the whole stretch marks thing.. my mom never had them, but I did.. and I have the unfortunate knowledge to know that neither my mother, nor my grandmother tore during their deliveries.. and my Uncle was a sunny side up breach baby..

I was the third. She had no tearing and natural. We were all under 8 lbs. Full term deliveries.

hisbeautyalways · August 2013

My mom had a quick, easy delivery with my brother. She tore HORRIBLY.

With me, she had a long, horrible delivery. No tear, piece of cake.

liamandlettie · August 2013

karacakes98 said:
No hubby, no meds, noJuly one handing me my baby post-birth, an episiotomy sans meds, my mother watching DD be born...ugh. I suppose I'll take it over my sister's experience, though.

When my sister went into labor, she was in so much pain she almost passed out. She eventually abandoned hopes of an unmedicated birth and got an epidural. Baby wasn't tolerating labor, so she was rushed off for an emergency C - section. Her last memory is of the doc saying something along the lines of, "Um, we're going to need to put you under," and next thing she knew she awoke in the ICU with a port in her neck. Turned out her uterus had attached to her colon and every contraction was literally ripping her insides apart. She ended up with a perforated bowel, lost tons and tons of blood, and now cannot have any more children. The doc who operated told her when she opened her up it looked like a bomb had gone off. My sis was out of town when she went into labor and happened to go to very good teaching hospital and was told that, had she been elsewhere, odds were the doc wouldn't have been able to save her without doing a complete hysterectomy and that she very well could have died in the process.

Holy. Shit. Did she have more kids after that?

liamandlettie · August 2013

jenniemac2000 said:

karacakes98 said:
No hubby, no meds, noJuly one handing me my baby post-birth, an episiotomy sans meds, my mother watching DD be born...ugh. I suppose I'll take it over my sister's experience, though.

When my sister went into labor, she was in so much pain she almost passed out. She eventually abandoned hopes of an unmedicated birth and got an epidural. Baby wasn't tolerating labor, so she was rushed off for an emergency C - section. Her last memory is of the doc saying something along the lines of, "Um, we're going to need to put you under," and next thing she knew she awoke in the ICU with a port in her neck. Turned out her uterus had attached to her colon and every contraction was literally ripping her insides apart. She ended up with a perforated bowel, lost tons and tons of blood, and now cannot have any more children. The doc who operated told her when she opened her up it looked like a bomb had gone off. My sis was out of town when she went into labor and happened to go to very good teaching hospital and was told that, had she been elsewhere, odds were the doc wouldn't have been able to save her without doing a complete hysterectomy and that she very well could have died in the process.

Holy. Shit. Did she have more kids after that?

Ok reread. Scratch that.

legallyginger · August 2013

torilea said:
You know, looking at this seemed like a good idea at the time. Morbid curiosity. But now? No. I just want to curl up in a corner and cry. I don't want to give birth anymore. Can I just make someone else do it for me?

This.

I am desperately clinging to a statistic I read somewhere that only 3-5% of births involve third degree tears or worse. If this isn't true, i don't want to know. I want to live with my blissful ignorance on this one.

hisbeautyalways · August 2013

FTMs who popped in - this thread will be skewed because it's supposed to be about those few bad births.

Do you feel better?

hisbeautyalways · August 2013

FarmBoysWife said:

Hey, I posted my non bad birth!

Reading the title, I would assume most who had a great experience would skip this. But yes, yes you did.

liamandlettie · August 2013

torilea said:
You know, looking at this seemed like a good idea at the time. Morbid curiosity. But now? No. I just want to curl up in a corner and cry. I don't want to give birth anymore. Can I just make someone else do it for me?

I can't stop laughing. So true. But look we are all back for more!

legallyginger · August 2013

hisbeautyalways said:
FTMs who popped in - this thread will be skewed because it's supposed to be about those few bad births.

Do you feel better?

I'm repeatedly telling myself that. But still... sometimes you want to prepare yourself for the worst. And then sometimes you immediately regret that preparation.

karacakes98 · August 2013

torilea said:

legallyginger said:

torilea said:
You know, looking at this seemed like a good idea at the time. Morbid curiosity. But now? No. I just want to curl up in a corner and cry. I don't want to give birth anymore. Can I just make someone else do it for me?
This.

I am desperately clinging to a statistic I read somewhere that only 3-5% of births involve third degree tears or worse. If this isn't true, i don't want to know. I want to live with my blissful ignorance on this one.

My mother keeps trying to assure me that she had 6 kids, it wasn't that bad, she had minimal tearing, blah blah blah. THERE ARE PLENTY OF WOMEN THAT ARE NOT LUCKY LIKE YOU OKAY MOMMY.

When I was having DD my mom tried to calm me down by telling me women have done this for centuries and blah blah. I practically screamed at her that I didn't care and I wanted drugs!

[Deleted User] · August 2013

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BrideNamedMeg · August 2013

If anyone wants to hear a non-horrific story, I had my DS at home, he was 9lb 5oz, was posterior and while pushing sucked and was hard for me I didn't tear at all. My midwife kept warm compresses on me while he was crowning and I'm pretty sure she used oil or something (lub? lol) as well to help him along.

The only scarring part for me was I broke blood vessels around my eyes while I was pushing and my eyes got super puffy, I looked like I'd be punched twice in the face after the birth! I looked way better after a day or so.

jfb29 · August 2013

Yeah. My fears remain confirmed. My mom had a 4th degree tear with me. I was over 10lbs when I was born and I apparently almost killed her in the delivery process due to me pressing on an artery or something. They actually kicked my dad out of the room and he was an administrator at the hospital. I'm so afraid of having a big baby like I was and of a 4th degree tear!

SamJustice · August 2013

Five day labor. On day two, I went in, but the doctor (who wasn't my usual) told me it was just a UTI and sent me home saying if my pain got worse, it was just the infection spreading to my kidneys. By Friday, the pain was so bad, I went to the walk in, who told me to go to L&D an hour away. Got to L&D, nurses checked me and couldn't feel my cervix, just a bulging water bag. Said I was lucky I didn't birth my son in the car. I didn't have time for an epidural, but they gave me a quick spinal that completely went away by the time the doctor broke my water.

So basically, five days of labor ended up in a kind of med free birth, not by choice.

angelsnight · August 2013

My doctor couldn't get the placenta out right after my DD came out, so I had to have these strips put in me (can't remember the name) to help coax it out. Hours later another doctor checked me to see if it was close, and rather than telling me what she was doing (I thought she was going to let me push it out) she went in after it. My epi had worn off by then and MH said she was damn near elbow deep in me. Worst.pain.of.my.life. And after that, FYI hubby, I will NEVER be open to trying fisting.

crystaljoanna · August 2013

Love the real stories. My husband's step sister just gave birth on Saturday and when I asked her how it went she said "it was great!" I was like really??? I've decided she's a big fat liar. Bearable, doable, not as bad as I thought would have been more honest answers at least!

hisbeautyalways · August 2013

crystaljoanna said:

Love the real stories. My husband's step sister just gave birth on Saturday and when I asked her how it went she said "it was great!" I was like really??? I've decided she's a big fat liar. Bearable, doable, not as bad as I thought would have been more honest answers at least!

A week or less after birth, I wasn't ready to really talk about my birth. I defended it, actually, because my mother and SIL couldn't help but bitch about the hospital I gave birth in, and how *they* didn't get the level of attention they wanted in the waiting room.

Alishapower77 · August 2013

I had a uterine infection 3 days after my son was born and was placed back in the hospital.

bunniekrissy · August 2013

Well, nothing too scarring, but I have to say the first 2 weeks PP were misery. I couldn't stand up straight, could barely pee for 3 days, and had horrible constipation for weeks.... Also I had the baby blues and anxiety for 2 weeks and I was really starting to get concerned when it finally got better. OK, one more weird thing ... I ended up going to the ER at 4 days PP with my poor newborn in tow because I was having chest pain/trouble breathing. They found nothing wrong and I believe it was probably a panic attack. I also felt like every time I fell asleep I would wake up gasping for air, like a form of sleep apnea or something? It just went away after a few days.

Also, the doctor took 40 minutes to show up to deliver my baby while his head was crowning and they made me wait to push. I had an epidural but there was a "window" on my left side so I could definitely feel the contractions some.

Then when my baby was born the doctor would not give him to me immediately to hold as requested because I asked for delayed cord clamping and he said the baby had to stay below the placenta ... probably my least favorite part of my actual birth experience. All that said I am still a birth enthusiast and it was more the recovery than the actual birth that I had the trouble with!

Stowne101 · August 2013

My unmedicated birth story not by choice:

I was strep B positive so I was hooked up to an IV. I had come into hospital the night before because my water was leaking. At 8:00am they decided to start pitocin. At about 11:00am I was begging my nurse for an epidural. She went and checked with the Dr. and the Dr. didn't even want to come check me. She said to the nurse "this is her first pregnancy she can't be that far along". And had the nurse relay that message to me. I was out of my mind in pain at this point. I kept ripping off the monitors and my hospital gown. My husband who is a psychologist later told me I resembled a psych patient. At about 1pm the nurse felt so bad for me that she checked me and I was 10cm. She ran and got the dr. who decided to come in and deliver. How nice of her. When the dr. came in I said I wanted my epidural and she said it was too late. I believe I had some choice words for her. I then delivered my son without any pain meds. He came out in like 3-4 pushes and I needed 1-2 stitches, but after I pushed him out I wanted to get up. LOL I still want to punch that dr. in the face and I complained to my OB at my 6 week and already let my feelings be known for this pregnancy.

NortyLeigh · August 2013

I had a fairly easy labor and delivery compared to many people (Just under 8 hours from start to finish). Just as the baby's head was starting to come out the dr. was paged to an emergency c-section. They stopped my pitocin with his head ready to go and made me wait an entire hour! Once the dr. was back, his head kept pushing out and then sucking back in. I ended up having two second degree tears AND an episiotomy (they had wanted to cut me earlier to get him out but I was scared. I don't think I would have had the tears if I had just agreed right away. With an epi, you don't feel it anyways!) I still had a set of stitches two months after giving birth and that spot will randomly ache at times. Also, at 5 weeks PP my bladder dropped (TMI but you can see it some). It's super uncomfortable. I can't jog or even walk sometimes without feeling it. Apparently it happens to a lot of people but I never knew this ahead of time. I need to have surgery to fix it but can't until I'm done having kids. I'm scared to death to push this one out in fear that my bladder will end up on the table! :-SS

SmittyPants · August 2013

23 hours of pitocin in induced labor, epi wore off at hour two of pushing, episiotomy, and forceps. The doctor told me it was going to feel like he was trying to pull me off the bed. It took two nurses and my husband to exert opposite force so he didn't pull me off the bed. It honestly felt like he was shattering my pelvis. I have never felt so much pain in my life. DD was 9 pounds, 9 ounces, and 21.5 inches long. I will never forget seeing the forceps sticking out of me- ever. That said, I'd do it all again for her.

TradeMama · August 2013

Baby #1: Easy labor, easy delivery (6 hours total), 3rd degree tear
Baby #2: Was told we could avoid tearing again, but the cord was wrapped around his neck twice, so they had to get to him quickly and another 3rd degree tear
Baby #3: The epidural made me cry and the bedpan, for some reason, was awful. I was in labor for 36 hours-- I got to the hospital dilated to 2 cm, and they kept me overnight because since it was my third they thought I'd go quickly. The next morning, they checked me and I was at 2 1/2 cm but my water had broken. I labored allllll day, then at midnight, they said that I had only made it to 4cm, despite pitocin and all sorts of other things. They gave me an epidural, which hurt like hell (I didn't remember it hurting like that with the other two), saying that maybe if I could relax and not be in so much pain I'd progress. I didn't. So after 36 hours of labor, I had a c-section anyway. My sweet boy was healthy and wonderful, so no regrets there... but I threw up all of the following day because I had a reaction to the morphine they gave me. The worst part, after having two vaginal deliveries, was that I couldn't pick up my own baby without help.
Baby #4 (current pregnancy): Repeat C-section. They gave me the option of a VBAC but I turned it down because there is too much risk for me.

ellajune2012 · August 2013

I'm not sure why I came in here, morbid curiosity I guess. I have to say I was taking all the stories in stride until @TallAsh mentioned her sister... wow!

But now I have a question: to all those who said they had to 'wait' to push because their doctors/midwives weren't there.... how the hell do you do that? I would think if my body wanted to push I'd just be like "damn you, I'm getting this baby out RIGHT NOW." Doctor or no doctor.

Oooh, and another question: how long does it take to get the placenta out once you give birth? Is it easier at that point?

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