Parenting after a Loss

Traveling without LO?

Well the time has finally come...in about two weeks we will be leaving the country to attend a destination wedding. They are close friends and DH is in the wedding. Otherwise we may have decided not to go. We will be gone for five days and I am freaking the f out, lol. HELP!

DS will be staying with my MIL for 3 days and then my mom for 2 days. He is pretty comfortable with both. He is 7 and a half months.

I am so worried about leaving him. I just wondering what he will think...if he thinks we left him forever, How he'll sleep and eat, if he gets sick, what if they have a hard time with him, etc. The flameful part is that I'm worried he'll forget us. Yes I know that is stupid and tons of parents travel all the time for work and leisure.

Soooo mamas who have traveled without LO chime in and tell me it's not that bad! My plan is to heavily drink throughout the trip to drown my sorrows ;)
Lilypie First Birthday tickers
BFP #1 6.19.11 ~ EDD 2.23.12 ~ CP on 6.22.11
BFP #2 7.23.11 ~ EDD 3.28.12 ~ MC on 8.16.11
BFP #3 11.17.11~ EDD 7.31.12 ~ MC on 1.18.12
BFP #4 4.12.12 ~ EDD 12.25.12~ Born on 12.26.12

Re: Traveling without LO?

  • I left my twins and went to the Bahamas with my DH when they were 3 months old. My mom and aunt stayed with the babies for 4 days. It was amazing! I got to sleep through the night, take naps, drink lots of wine, sunbathe, and best of all, reconnect with DH. 

    I missed the babies so much...mostly at night and as soon as I woke up. So we paid for wifi at the hotel and my mom and aunt emailed me pictures a few times a day. We Skyped once. I loved being able to see their outfits and see how happy they were. Every night we would look at the pictures and watch some videos on our phones.

    Looking back I am SO happy we took that trip. We needed time to ourselves. As soon as we got home the babies gave us huge smiles and it was business as usual! They barely noticed we were gone but we always have those amazing memories and I really think it made us better parents since we felt so refreshed and reconnected as a couple.  You will do great! It's not that bad, it's wonderful!
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    IVF #1 BFP b/g twins!; loss at 23 weeks due to I.C. and PTL. IVF #2 BFP 5/26/12; due date 2/6/13; TAC surgery 7/20/12, blessed with another girl & boy! 

    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
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  • @nuttycoconut I am beyond jealous that you got consecutive hours of sleep with 3 month old twins. Month 3-4 was hell for us. I think we got about 3 broken hours of sleep a night back then.
    @pangnl79 I am sure it will be super hard to leave him, but you know your cutie will be in good hands. Also, 5 days of drinks and sleep? Sign me up!!
     
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  • At that age they don't completely understand object permeance yet, so they probably won't miss you. That sounds sad, but it's a good thing. It wasn't until we left DD1 at 19m that she really missed us. We Facetimed with her and she was super excited for the first minute or so, and then she just broke down crying--we think it was bc we weren't there :(
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  • I left my twins and went to the Bahamas with my DH when they were 3 months old. My mom and aunt stayed with the babies for 4 days. It was amazing! I got to sleep through the night, take naps, drink lots of wine, sunbathe, and best of all, reconnect with DH. 


    I missed the babies so much...mostly at night and as soon as I woke up. So we paid for wifi at the hotel and my mom and aunt emailed me pictures a few times a day. We Skyped once. I loved being able to see their outfits and see how happy they were. Every night we would look at the pictures and watch some videos on our phones.

    Looking back I am SO happy we took that trip. We needed time to ourselves. As soon as we got home the babies gave us huge smiles and it was business as usual! They barely noticed we were gone but we always have those amazing memories and I really think it made us better parents since we felt so refreshed and reconnected as a couple.  You will do great! It's not that bad, it's wonderful!
    Wow! This actually makes me so much better you have no idea! I didn't even begin to think about all the positives and what an awesome beach vacay it will be for me and DH. Great idea about Skype! Thanks for calming my nerves @nuttycoconut...I'm almost a little excited now!

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    BFP #1 6.19.11 ~ EDD 2.23.12 ~ CP on 6.22.11
    BFP #2 7.23.11 ~ EDD 3.28.12 ~ MC on 8.16.11
    BFP #3 11.17.11~ EDD 7.31.12 ~ MC on 1.18.12
    BFP #4 4.12.12 ~ EDD 12.25.12~ Born on 12.26.12
  • @nuttycoconut I am beyond jealous that you got consecutive hours of sleep with 3 month old twins. Month 3-4 was hell for us. I think we got about 3 broken hours of sleep a night back then.
    @pangnl79 I am sure it will be super hard to leave him, but you know your cutie will be in good hands. Also, 5 days of drinks and sleep? Sign me up!!

    Thanks! I know you're probably right :)
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    BFP #1 6.19.11 ~ EDD 2.23.12 ~ CP on 6.22.11
    BFP #2 7.23.11 ~ EDD 3.28.12 ~ MC on 8.16.11
    BFP #3 11.17.11~ EDD 7.31.12 ~ MC on 1.18.12
    BFP #4 4.12.12 ~ EDD 12.25.12~ Born on 12.26.12
  • At that age they don't completely understand object permeance yet, so they probably won't miss you. That sounds sad, but it's a good thing. It wasn't until we left DD1 at 19m that she really missed us. We Facetimed with her and she was super excited for the first minute or so, and then she just broke down crying--we think it was bc we weren't there :(

    This actually makes me feel better too...I really don't want him to have any separation anxiety and I think your right about the object permeance. But he will remember when I come back...right?!? Lol

    That is so sad about your DD, poor thing!
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    BFP #1 6.19.11 ~ EDD 2.23.12 ~ CP on 6.22.11
    BFP #2 7.23.11 ~ EDD 3.28.12 ~ MC on 8.16.11
    BFP #3 11.17.11~ EDD 7.31.12 ~ MC on 1.18.12
    BFP #4 4.12.12 ~ EDD 12.25.12~ Born on 12.26.12
  • Ugh I keep forgetting to use the new tagging feature!
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    BFP #1 6.19.11 ~ EDD 2.23.12 ~ CP on 6.22.11
    BFP #2 7.23.11 ~ EDD 3.28.12 ~ MC on 8.16.11
    BFP #3 11.17.11~ EDD 7.31.12 ~ MC on 1.18.12
    BFP #4 4.12.12 ~ EDD 12.25.12~ Born on 12.26.12
  • @nuttycoconut I am beyond jealous that you got consecutive hours of sleep with 3 month old twins. Month 3-4 was hell for us. I think we got about 3 broken hours of sleep a night back then. @pangnl79 I am sure it will be super hard to leave him, but you know your cutie will be in good hands. Also, 5 days of drinks and sleep? Sign me up!!
    @s0ulchicken I only got the sleep when in the Bahamas! Lol. Actually I did still wake up at 1am and 4am while on vacation but it was nice not to have to do a feeding. My little ones just started sleeping through the night one week ago. They did a long stretch in the early part of the night (7pm to 1am) then woke up every 3 hours after that. I feel like a new person this week, it's awesome! How are your babies sleeping now?
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    IVF #1 BFP b/g twins!; loss at 23 weeks due to I.C. and PTL. IVF #2 BFP 5/26/12; due date 2/6/13; TAC surgery 7/20/12, blessed with another girl & boy! 

    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers


  • @nuttycoconut I am beyond jealous that you got consecutive hours of sleep with 3 month old twins. Month 3-4 was hell for us. I think we got about 3 broken hours of sleep a night back then.
    @pangnl79 I am sure it will be super hard to leave him, but you know your cutie will be in good hands. Also, 5 days of drinks and sleep? Sign me up!!

    @s0ulchicken I only got the sleep when in the Bahamas! Lol. Actually I did still wake up at 1am and 4am while on vacation but it was nice not to have to do a feeding. My little ones just started sleeping through the night one week ago. They did a long stretch in the early part of the night (7pm to 1am) then woke up every 3 hours after that. I feel like a new person this week, it's awesome! How are your babies sleeping now?

    They started STTN around 4.5 months, but recently Aubrey has started waking up in the wee hours to play. Hoping that this is a quick phase, because I miss sleep! I have a massive sleep debt to catch up on ;) Congrats on STTN. It's the best thing ever!!
     
    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
  • Okay after I read the first post I was going to commiserate with you but now I'm feeling envious! DH and I used to talk about going somewhere for our 5 year anniversary this December. May have to revisit that...


      Our Angel Patricia born sleeping 3/30/12 at 31 weeks
    Our Fighter Anna born early 1/8/13 at 26 weeks
    Hoping to bring home #3 due 9/9/15
  • I left my first daughter a few times. The longest trip was at 16 months for 8 days. I talked to my pediatrician about it back then and she said, babies don't think in terms of, "my mom is gone forever." They may think something is off or miss you guys a bit here and there but when we came back everything was just the way it was when we left. Now that DD is 4, she talks about how much she missed me even if I only go to the store for 20 minutes.

    Have fun! Enjoy yourselves!!

    Thanks for sharing your experience!
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    BFP #1 6.19.11 ~ EDD 2.23.12 ~ CP on 6.22.11
    BFP #2 7.23.11 ~ EDD 3.28.12 ~ MC on 8.16.11
    BFP #3 11.17.11~ EDD 7.31.12 ~ MC on 1.18.12
    BFP #4 4.12.12 ~ EDD 12.25.12~ Born on 12.26.12
  • Okay after I read the first post I was going to commiserate with you but now I'm feeling envious! DH and I used to talk about going somewhere for our 5 year anniversary this December. May have to revisit that...

    I know! These ladies are making me feel so much better that I almost feel guilty for complaining! First world problems for sure. I'm actually getting excited now :)
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    BFP #1 6.19.11 ~ EDD 2.23.12 ~ CP on 6.22.11
    BFP #2 7.23.11 ~ EDD 3.28.12 ~ MC on 8.16.11
    BFP #3 11.17.11~ EDD 7.31.12 ~ MC on 1.18.12
    BFP #4 4.12.12 ~ EDD 12.25.12~ Born on 12.26.12
  • Okay after I read the first post I was going to commiserate with you but now I'm feeling envious! DH and I used to talk about going somewhere for our 5 year anniversary this December. May have to revisit that...
    Same here.  I was initially like, "oh, I would have been a wreck leaving DD at 7 months", but then I was like THAT...SOUNDS...DELIGHTFUL!    :)

    Seriously though, I would have felt similarly, but looking back, it would have been nice to get a little time with DH around that time.

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