CPW: How do you plan on feeding this kid?

mrsjenni · August 2013

sugarland726 · August 2013

Wait. I have to feed this kid? Damn, he's getting needy.

mrsjenni · August 2013

sugarland726 said:

Wait. I have to feed this kid? Damn, he's getting needy.

That was one of my options in the poll but I took it out before I posted it, lol!

PreDempsey · August 2013

As a FTM I'm super nervous that it won't work. My good friend and huge BF advocate couldn't EBF when her baby was tongue tied and just couldn't latch, and it made her feel like such a bad mom which isn't the case at all. I'm having a difficult time approaching the issue without putting pressure on myself or baby to perform.

1017Shannon · August 2013

I will try and breastfeed but its actually up to my little one lol. I will try and try but if he or age isn't into it I have no problems going to formula!!

PBP2002 · August 2013

I BF'd DS until 15 months - but honestly, I didn't love it. I'll do it again, but I'm already looking forward to weaning.

ac1259 · August 2013

PreDempsey said:

As a FTM I'm super nervous that it won't work. My good friend and huge BF advocate couldn't EBF when her baby was tongue tied and just couldn't latch, and it made her feel like such a bad mom which isn't the case at all. I'm having a difficult time approaching the issue without putting pressure on myself or baby to perform.

Thats what happened to me with my DD. I attempted to pump but I was barely getting like 4 oz a day and took so much time. I'm scared the same thing is going to happen again and I had so much mommy guilt for being unable to breast feed. Even now I wish I had tried harder. But DD is happy and healthy and she did get what I was able to provide for a couple weeks. All you can do is try and then do what makes Mom and Baby happy. But I'm definitely with you stressing about it already.

HullGut · August 2013

I really want to breast feed but I don't know if it will work out. I am willing to try hard to make it work, I'm excited to be able to breast feed my child. That being said if I can't breast feed, it's ok too. After losing a baby I've learned as long as they are healthy and eating that's all that matters.

Deblondie1 · August 2013

I really hope I can BF. I had to pump for 4 months with DD then she went to formula. Since this LO will go to daycare, hopefully I can pump and BF. if not, DD is doing pretty good as a FF baby LOL

ach298 · August 2013

I hope to BF, but that didn't work out with DS and I ended up pumping for 7.5 months. I'm not EPing this time (I don't see how it would even be remotely possible with a toddler and a NB) if BFing doesn't work out.

Even with a lot of support (I saw 7 different LCs and had over 14 appts and even took him to a speech therapist to make sure there wasn't a physical reason for him not latching), some times the best laid plans don't work out. It took me a long time to get over the mommy guilt and the judgement I felt from other moms for bottle feeding my baby. Not going to let myself feel guilty this time. However my baby gets fed as long as he/she get fed is fine by me.

wifetomrb101 · August 2013

I'm planning on BFing -- or pumping and bottle. DD wouldn't take a bottle (or whole milk out of a sippy after 6m) so I was sick and tired of BF but I kept going until a year since she needed the milk. I think I'm going to try giving the bottle once a day as soon as BF'ing is going good (hopefully it works). I'll do 1 pump a day then too. I just don't feel like paying for formula!

DamnPrecious · August 2013

Formula.

gingerbabe · August 2013

Having BF DS exclusively, I assume everything will go well and I can BF this new LO, but in the back of my mind I remind myself this kid or me could have problems that we didn't have with DS. So, my plan is to BF, and I will make every possibly effort to do so (as much as I HATE BFing) but like most things regarding labor/birth/kids, I will not kill myself if plans have to be changed.

I am down to 3 sessions a day with DS and cannot wait to completely wean him! I need a break before this LO comes!

adunkin · August 2013

I'm planning to formula feed from the very beginning for medical reasons. It is for baby's own safety, but I'm still really worried about all the Judgy McJudgersons out there. (Where we live, I honestly don't know a single woman in our expat community who hasn't BF.)

MrsGraham06 · August 2013

I had a not-so-positive experience with DS1. He was born 10 days late, weighed 10 lbs 1/2 oz at birth, and had a bigger tummy than most newborns. I think his blood sugars weren't very good, when I was trying to feed him at the hospital, so they gave him bottles (with my OK). He was eating 1 oz at a time (most nb eat a few drops of colostrum and that's all they can hold at a time). He got bm several times a day for the first 5 months, but it was a struggle. After that, it was easier to not feel guilty about not producing enough, and when DS2 came along, I was all prepared for Round 2. Instead, I was able to keep up my supply with his huge demands, and he only got formula occasionally. After my much more positive experience with DS2, I was more hopeful when DD came along, that she could go with no formula at all. I think we bought 3 small cans when she was close to a year old, and that was it, and at daycare only.

Sorry for the long response...thanks for listening

bethughknee · August 2013

FTM here with no idea what to expect. I would like to BF and pump but also keep in mind that sh*t happens and hope I won't feel too guilty if it doesn't work.

I have read a lot of "Ughh I hated BFing!" and I am wondering what it is that people didn't like. I just want to be prepared for whatever I will or won't like and all that. I guess I'm specifically asking @PBP2002 and @gingerbabe for this thread. What should I look out for to hate? Haha.

ksonne · August 2013

Breasted DS (and pumped while at work) until he was 14 months and self weaned. I stressed a lot about supply and pumping enough. I won't stress as much this time, if this LO needs formula, so be it. If baby is fed, happy, and healthy, then I'm happy.

MrsGraham06 · August 2013

@bethughknee: One thing that no one told me was that it was painful...past the 1st time nursing. I had almost no support with DS1, didn't know where to turn, etc. It was painful for probably 6 weeks. I hated the pain, and having a frustrated baby.

susieandmarty · August 2013

Bf did not work for me. I had a breast reduction at 18 and my supply was Terrible. Dd was not gaining wEight and though I said I would be relaxed if if did not work - I was becoming depressed by it and feeling inadequate. I saw lactation consultants, spent a ton of cash and after 8 weeks stopped entirely when I relized that my hours pumping resultd in less then one if her feeding a day, was cauding stress and tears, and was keeping me from enjoying time with my new born. I may skip it entirely this time.

A note to first time moms - do what you want. Do not be made to feel uncomfortable in anyway by your feeding decision. It is amazing how much is out there to guilt a formula feeder and it is hard to get over (it is the same for breast feeders too - I know). Just don't allow yourself to judges no matter what you choose.

BuckeyeANG · August 2013

I'm planning to BF. It was easy for me with DS (past the first 6w or so) but I'm not one who loves BFing. I didn't hate it, but it wasn't a bonding experience or anything like that for me. It was just a method to feed my kid. We kept at it for a year (I'm very proud of that) but boy was I happy to be done!

SunflowersBride · August 2013

I must be a weirdo. but breastfeeding is something I'm really looking forward to! I feel good that both my mom and MIL breastfed me and my DH, so I have some good family resources to call up if I need help (in addition to obviously using lactation consultants, etc.) I also recognize it's not a walk in the park, but I have a high pain tolerance and for whatever reason I'm just very determined to make it work. My mom told me all about her terrible bleeding, cracked nipples and she still made it for a year with me, and I plan on doing the same.

mrsjenni · August 2013

adunkin said:

I'm planning to formula feed from the very beginning for medical reasons. It is for baby's own safety, but I'm still really worried about all the Judgy McJudgersons out there. (Where we live, I honestly don't know a single woman in our expat community who hasn't BF.)

@adunkin- There is no shame in that. I FF my first two for several reasons and I was confident in my answer when people asked me (not that it's any of their business, but ya know... people are rude.) I did BF #3 for several months until I had to quit for medical reasons (for him). I will try to BF again with this baby, but if it doesn't work out for some reason, I'm going straight to formula. Don't worry about the Judgy people... they're not perfect.

SunflowersBride · August 2013

mrsjenni said:

adunkin said:

I'm planning to formula feed from the very beginning for medical reasons. It is for baby's own safety, but I'm still really worried about all the Judgy McJudgersons out there. (Where we live, I honestly don't know a single woman in our expat community who hasn't BF.)

@adunkin- There is no shame in that. I FF my first two for several reasons and I was confident in my answer when people asked me (not that it's any of their business, but ya know... people are rude.) I did BF #3 for several months until I had to quit for medical reasons (for him). I will try to BF again with this baby, but if it doesn't work out for some reason, I'm going straight to formula. Don't worry about the Judgy people... they're not perfect.

I will never understand why anyone cares how other people choose to feed their kids. It has zero impact on my life.

mrsjenni · August 2013

bethughknee said:

I have read a lot of "Ughh I hated BFing!" and I am wondering what it is that people didn't like. I just want to be prepared for whatever I will or won't like and all that.

@bethughknee - Because you're a FTM, part of my answer doesn't really apply to you, but I hated BFing. I FF my first two (see above) but BF #3. Nursing a NB is extremely time consuming. I have 2 other kids running around and no matter what I did, they took my nursing as the perfect opportunity to fight, ask for a snack, need help on the potty... you name it. It's rather hard to wipe my son's ass with someone attached to my boob.

I also wasn't big on nursing in public (I could care less if others do it, I just can't)... so it's hard to go out AT ALL in the beginning (before you can pump much), b/c you're feeding them every 45 minutes or so (that's how often my fat boy ate

. I've nursed in my car more times than I can count. Lastly, I wasn't comfortable nursing in front of my dad, FIL and/or BIL's so when ever we went over our families houses (which was often... we're both close to our family) I'd have to go off by myself to nurse. I feel like I missed everything and was off secluded somewhere all the time. (Not at home, just while visiting others and/or having visitors.) It's also really hard to be the ONLY person that can feed the baby. (Again, until you start pumping more regularly... but I never produced much that way.)

I know part of it is my "fault", but still. It was hard. So no, I didn't love it. I'll do it again, but I'm not looking forward to it.

TNgoldengirl · August 2013

@bethughknee Well you didn't ask me specifically but I'll tell you my loves/hates:

Love-

Not washing bottles!

Not spending $ on formula

Being able to feed on the spot, whatever room we were in, with minimal effort

Soothing powers of a crying baby

The health benefits- LO has never been sick and is very intelligent

Bonding and all that, feeling womanly, etc

I had a baby who latched easy, not too many issues

Dislike-

I was the only one who could feed her (I could have pumped some, but it was just easier to just BF)

Sometimes I just wanted to relax! Or not nurse her to sleep every night- could also probably be solved by pumping (and this was around 12-15 months, I was feeling DONE)

DH saying at night- just give her your boob! Anytime she was crying. It's like ugh, you can help too

Leaking!- my biggest problem. First several weeks, had to change shirts every night and wake up with soaked sheets, or sleep on a towel, even with breast pads.

Sore nipples- I honestly don't remember pain lasting but a week or two. Nurses gave me "soothies" which really helped, and that pain was temporary and worth it

bethughknee · August 2013

@MrsGraham06 & @mrsjenni

Thanks for the insight! I have said it before but my favorite part of TB so far has been reading about things I never even thought to consider. It really is such a huge help to an over-analyzer like me.

And mrsjenni, as a blogstalker of yours I can't really agree with you saying any of your BFing dislikes were "your fault." So there.

AFWife10 · August 2013

My almost 20 month old DS just weaned 5 days ago. So I'm planning on breastfeeding #2 as well. Hopefully to 2 years, but I'll stick to a year goal at first.

2Dash · August 2013

I would like to EBF again.

That said I tried not to put too much pressure on myself with DS - I wanted to do and was happy that it worked well for us but I don't think that people should feel guilty when in doesn't work.

A couple of friends with 2 or more have told me they BF #2 for less time thatn #1 just because of the demands of additional children. I'm going to try to be laid back BF as much as I can for as long as I can and not stress about it.

PBP2002 · August 2013

@bethughknee - For me it just got old being the only one that could feed DS. That I had to do ALL of the middle of the night wake ups (since he was only really waking up to eat). That I couldn't go away from DS for more than a few hours. And then pumping at work was just not my favorite thing to do, at all; in fact, I hated it. But with that said, knowing all that I hated, I still did it for 15 months and I plan to do it again for as long.

Don't get me wrong - there are perks - you never "run out" of supplies (we got laid over in an airport for an extra 6 hours once and I was glad I didn't have to worry about having enough formula/clean bottles), YOU are the one that can calm the baby when no one else can, it saves a ton of money, and of course, it's good for the baby.

ETA: I did have issues at first, and DS had weight loss (and then gaining) issues, but even that isn't what I consider to be the downsides - I had a great LC and Doctor that helped us through the whole "learning curve" of nursing.

2Dash · August 2013

bethughknee said:

FTM here with no idea what to expect. I would like to BF and pump but also keep in mind that sh*t happens and hope I won't feel too guilty if it doesn't work.

I have read a lot of "Ughh I hated BFing!" and I am wondering what it is that people didn't like. I just want to be prepared for whatever I will or won't like and all that. I guess I'm specifically asking @PBP2002 and @gingerbabe for this thread. What should I look out for to hate? Haha.

I had a positive BF experience - DS gave it up around 7.5 months and so I switched to formula then. I would think the "hate" comes from struggles with baby not latching, supply issues etc. For me I didn't mind BF but HATED pumping - it was so time consuming and you would have to do it when baby was down which is your only free time and it really aggrevated me. If pumping is a big problem this time around I may do a mix of BF and formula we shall see.

mrsjenni · August 2013

bethughknee said:

@MrsGraham06 & @mrsjenni

Thanks for the insight! I have said it before but my favorite part of TB so far has been reading about things I never even thought to consider. It really is such a huge help to an over-analyzer like me.

And mrsjenni, as a blogstalker of yours I can't really agree with you saying any of your BFing dislikes were "your fault." So there.

Ha! I guess what I meant was that, if I were more comfortable NIP or in front of male family members, then maybe it would have been easier for me? I also suffered from Post-Partum Anxiety... I didn't have it with my first two and didn't even know it was a "thing" until maybe 7-8 weeks postpartum. I never sought out help for it (and around 10 weeks post-partum my dad died suddenly)... it's something that I plan to take care of this time FOR SURE. I think some of my BFing dislikes might have stemmed from PPA.

Also? It wasn't all bad. I did enjoy the bonding that I had with him during times when I was home alone or with DH there to referee the other kids

I'm trying to focus on those times as I head into this experience again. And although Reid had major reflux issues and we had quit BFing to put him on meds and special formula, I didn't really have any supply or latch issues, etc, so I'm thankful for that and hope for it again this time!

MrsGraham06 · August 2013

Oh...right...latch issues...So, again, my boys were big (10 lbs, and 9 lbs 6 oz) and had no problem with latching. DD however, was 7 lb 5 oz, and her mouth did not really fit around my nipples. She was 2 months before that evened out, and things were better. I don't remember what I did during those 2 months, besides just kept at it.

I guess I kind of see breastfeeding and med-free birth in a similar way: If that is your goal, have a good support system going into it, and understand that things might change.

sugarland726 · August 2013

mrsjenni said:

bethughknee said:

I have read a lot of "Ughh I hated BFing!" and I am wondering what it is that people didn't like. I just want to be prepared for whatever I will or won't like and all that.
@bethughknee - Because you're a FTM, part of my answer doesn't really apply to you, but I hated BFing. I FF my first two (see above) but BF #3. Nursing a NB is extremely time consuming. I have 2 other kids running around and no matter what I did, they took my nursing as the perfect opportunity to fight, ask for a snack, need help on the potty... you name it. It's rather hard to wipe my son's ass with someone attached to my boob.

I also wasn't big on nursing in public (I could care less if others do it, I just can't)... so it's hard to go out AT ALL in the beginning (before you can pump much), b/c you're feeding them every 45 minutes or so (that's how often my fat boy ate . I've nursed in my car more times than I can count. Lastly, I wasn't comfortable nursing in front of my dad, FIL and/or BIL's so when ever we went over our families houses (which was often... we're both close to our family) I'd have to go off by myself to nurse. I feel like I missed everything and was off secluded somewhere all the time. (Not at home, just while visiting others and/or having visitors.) It's also really hard to be the ONLY person that can feed the baby. (Again, until you start pumping more regularly... but I never produced much that way.)

I know part of it is my "fault", but still. It was hard. So no, I didn't love it. I'll do it again, but I'm not looking forward to it.

I think this is really important to point out that breastfeeding has to work for baby AND for mom. A lot of moms will continue BFing due to guilt because they are producing and their kid nurses well, but they are SO unhappy doing it. I'm of the camp to do what is best for all parties involved, and for STMs that also means your other kids. I mean, FFS. It's not like when you switch to formula you're actually feeding them cocaine.

I mean if you and baby are happy with how BFing is going, then more power to you. But if one of you is unhappy with it for whatever reason, consider altering the arrangement.

PBP2002 · August 2013

sugarland726 said:

mrsjenni said:

bethughknee said:

I have read a lot of "Ughh I hated BFing!" and I am wondering what it is that people didn't like. I just want to be prepared for whatever I will or won't like and all that.
@bethughknee - Because you're a FTM, part of my answer doesn't really apply to you, but I hated BFing. I FF my first two (see above) but BF #3. Nursing a NB is extremely time consuming. I have 2 other kids running around and no matter what I did, they took my nursing as the perfect opportunity to fight, ask for a snack, need help on the potty... you name it. It's rather hard to wipe my son's ass with someone attached to my boob.

I also wasn't big on nursing in public (I could care less if others do it, I just can't)... so it's hard to go out AT ALL in the beginning (before you can pump much), b/c you're feeding them every 45 minutes or so (that's how often my fat boy ate . I've nursed in my car more times than I can count. Lastly, I wasn't comfortable nursing in front of my dad, FIL and/or BIL's so when ever we went over our families houses (which was often... we're both close to our family) I'd have to go off by myself to nurse. I feel like I missed everything and was off secluded somewhere all the time. (Not at home, just while visiting others and/or having visitors.) It's also really hard to be the ONLY person that can feed the baby. (Again, until you start pumping more regularly... but I never produced much that way.)

I know part of it is my "fault", but still. It was hard. So no, I didn't love it. I'll do it again, but I'm not looking forward to it.

I think this is really important to point out that breastfeeding has to work for baby AND for mom. A lot of moms will continue BFing due to guilt because they are producing and their kid nurses well, but they are SO unhappy doing it. I'm of the camp to do what is best for all parties involved, and for STMs that also means your other kids. I mean, FFS. It's not like when you switch to formula you're actually feeding them cocaine.

I mean if you and baby are happy with how BFing is going, then more power to you. But if one of you is unhappy with it for whatever reason, consider altering the arrangement.

@sugarland726 I get what @mrsjenni was getting at. When it comes down to it, I felt (just my feelings - not saying anyone else should feel this way) that my reasons for not wanting to BF were all selfish (I couldn't go out for hours and hours with my friends, I didn't want to get up in the middle of the night). None were, in my mind, "good" reasons to stop. Because FF would come with it's own set of "problems" (added costs, new supplies to purchase, figuring out what kind DS should be on, etc. etc. etc.).

sugarland726 · August 2013

@PBP2002, I think every mom will have a tipping point at when BFing no longer is a good option for them and every mom's tipping point will be different. Of course, none should be shamed.

PBP2002 · August 2013

sugarland726 said:

@PBP2002, I think every mom will have a tipping point at when BFing no longer is a good option for them and every mom's tipping point will be different. Of course, none should be shamed.

Agreed! Believe me - I am the LAST person you'll see starting a BF/FF debate.

mrsjenni · August 2013

Here is the post I wrote about my BFing struggles with Reid and what happened after I decided to quit. If anyone cares to read it...

https://www.jennifromtheblog.com/2012/11/the-end-of-era.html

Just thought I'd share. And I completely agree with you @sugarland726, which is a big part of what I explain in my post above.

monkeybutt61612 · August 2013

I tried breastfeeding my first, but ended up having to exclusively pump. That breast pump made me so absolutely miserable. Some may call it selfish, but I'd rather not dread the thought of feeding my child. Formula all the way.

purplepenguin2011 · August 2013

I am going to formula feed #2 just as i did with #1. I know i'm in the minority, but it was definitely a decision that i am confident it. I mostly did it b/c i knew i was going to be going back to work and i work in a male dominated industry. I just knew that I wouldn't want to take the time to pump, and personally I have just never really wanted to BF. It's a personal decision. DD1 is a very healthy and smart kid so I think you just need to do what you think is right for your family.

shortstuff15 · August 2013

I am one of those that hates breastfeeding. For one, my body produces skim milk that doesn't give my kids the fat they need to gain weight. For two, for some reason I cannot feed without using two hands. Even after my kids latch I need one hand to hold my boob up and the other to hold the kid. It makes it next to impossible to comfortably nurse in public. My kids also take 45 minutes plus to eat regardless of age. With other kids around I just don't have that time. I also do not bond whem breastfeeding. I can't see their face and feel like a cow rather then a human. I much prefer formula.

I will do 6 weeks of mixed (formula when in public) and then go straight to formula.

rowanthefrog · August 2013

I'm grateful that I was able to EBF my other sons for 15-16 months. I hope that everything will go well with this one as well. I really loved everything about breastfeeding and its one of the things I'm really looking forward to.

A

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