Husband enthusiastic?

Annabelle1992 · August 2013

This is our first child. And I can't seem to get my husband to care at all. He humors me when I ask or seem upset that he doesn't have feelings one way or the other. Am I wrong to want to hear him have some type of opinion?

jlrschmidt · August 2013

Of course you're not wrong. But I think it does take longer for first time Daddies to let the news sink in. I'm sure it's not really real to him yet. My DH was like that the first time and then one day, a few weeks after we found out, he was vacuuming in the other room and I heard it shut off and DH comes in to our room crying and saying "We're going to have a baby". It's just hard for them to wrap their head around at first. As women we are biologically programmed to love that child the minute we know its there, but it's different for them.

Nijay714 · August 2013

I agree with jlrschmidt.. It took my SO a while to show that emotion we feel instantly, I think it hit him the first time he saw the u/s video and heard the heartbeat, and it really hit him when I started showing..

Christinekeyser · August 2013

My husband is also kind of indifferent. I think he isn't sure what to do and I am hoping that it will become more real to him at our first u/s this Friday. Our pregnancy isn't a surprise as we have been trying for a few months and he was obviously actively involved then. This is our first so I am sure that deep down he is a bit nervous.

WifeofaComposer · August 2013

Last year, my husband was scared when we got our first BFP, but he grew into the idea around 8 weeks, and then he was crushed when we lost that baby at 11 weeks. The second one, Henrietta was his baby girl - he was excited from the start and when we lost her at 19 weeks, it was a devastating blow to both of us, but he took it particularly hard, and he even still cries on many days. This time, he is very excited and enthusiastic, and also very protective. He's not letting me do any housework so I can rest whenever I'm home...I am quite okay with that.
I-)

Margotsha · August 2013

My DH was nervous at first but we talked thru that and agreed that we'd always be a team. He is excited now and doing a lot better. He used to text me and say, "how's my baby doing today". Now his texts say, "How are my babies?" lol

Wysbaby · August 2013

My honey didn't believe it at 1st becuz he's away but I can tell he's excited becuz he can't keep his mouth shut he's telling everyone! Smh! I'm sure once he's back he's going to go crazy.... Some Men don't get its real till we get morning sickness or big or when they finally hear the baby heart beat.. I think the pressure of officially becoming a "man"for 1st time dad's is overwhelming no matter how much practice(sex) they took part in when its a "baby" its serious for them!

thomas930 · August 2013

With all my pregnancies my DH has been reserved until that first u/s. Sometimes it take a little while for it to sink in for men since they don't feel anything physical.

jsoubel · August 2013

For some men, it's not real until the baby arrives. My DH was super excited at first but then it was like pulling teeth to get him to help prepare. He's a great dad and you would have thought I told him that we won the powerball when I told him that I'm pregnant this time. lol.

EDIT: maybe get him a book? Pregnancy is a mystery to men and if he knows what's going on, he might engage more. My DH really likes The Expectant Father.

ZebNMichelle · August 2013

Zeb seem stand offish I think it's because he is scared of another loss.

AliciaBeth · August 2013

During my first pregnancy, my husband was the same way until we attended our prepared childbirth classes. Then things quickly got very real for him. To my surprise, when our son was born, he was the one crying- and I was the one asking for a coke to drink!

Now that I'm pregnant with our second, it has become much more real to him much earlier. He wants to talk about it a lot and just make sure we are very prepared. I love it, but it is so different!

danamarie421 · August 2013

This is our first and my hubby has been kinda weird as well. He tends to be pretty sarcastic in general, so maybe I'm just more sensitive to it. He just doesn't seem as excited as I am. He found out 3 days before the BFP that he is getting laid off from his job on Sept 1st, so I think maybe he's just a bit stressed due to this...

OceanLeaves · August 2013

I agree with pp's, it doesn't seem real to dads for a long time. With our first, DH didn't get excited for a long time - and honestly, he didn't REALLY wrap his mind around it until I laid DS in his arms. I saw an instant transformation at that moment, and he's been an incredible dad. Don't stress too much, he'll come around.

PaddysGirl8 · August 2013

I dont think you are wrong to want to see the emotion from him. But it may just not seem "real" to him just yet. Try not to be upset, I am sure that he will get more excited as your pregnancy progresses.

fourthnlast · August 2013

My husband is really reserved until that first appointment and he hears from the Dr. that I am indeed pregnant.

CiderWench · August 2013

This is our fourth. My husband shows excitement three times during pregnancy: upon first hearing the news, at the anatomy scan, and when I go into labor. He tries to attend all appointments and is supportive, but he just doesn't feel a connection to the baby until it gets here.

fourthnlast · August 2013

You're lucky your husband can attend the dr visits! My husband won't be able to make it to all of them

KNSATX · August 2013

I love this thread. My husband is typically rather stoic across the board, but it seems he's being pretty normal in comparison. He said he'll be excited when little one kicks, and when s/he's here.

Annabelle1992 · August 2013

fourthnlast said:
You're lucky your husband can attend the dr visits! My husband won't be able to make it to all of them

Actually my husband won't be attending most of them. His work is extremely strict. He didn't go to the first one with me I went alone. And it appears the first ultrasound I will be alone as well

janice9821 · August 2013

My hubby is still in shock I think. But he decided he is going to stop drinking along with me and said he wants to go to all my appointments, so I think it is starting to sink in. I had to POAS every couple days until I got a nice dark line before he really believed it, though.

squeakyfrog15 · August 2013

I don't know my hubby is super excited and it's kind of annoying! I feel bad for saying it but I feel like it's every 5 minutes he says you're pregnant, or we are having a baby and I just want to say yup I know haha! I'm chalking up to my hormones that's making me a grouch! Because I'm excited, just not showing it! I think a mix of yours and mine would be best!:)

elizabethb3 · August 2013

I'm going through the exact same thing. This is our first and DH isn't really reacting much at all. To my surprise, though, he did tell me the other night that he didn't feel ready to be a dad and wished he was still in his 20's and carefree. :-O He then did a LOT of backpedaling! I know he's happy about it deep down and will be a great father. I think it's just really hard for it to sink in for guys and for them to feel an emotional connection, especially before there's any physical "proof." I'm hoping that it will hit him when we (hopefully) can see/hear a heartbeat at our first appt.

GlasgowJen · August 2013

I feel like my other half is taking the piss as he keeps having all the symptoms I'm having.. Cramps, headaches, toilet troubles and he's sooooooo tired! It's bloody annoying! He is delighted but has told me he is beyond nervous until we get to 12weeks. I don't think he wants to allow himself to get broody and excited until he knows we're past 'that' point. I also think he'll get much more excited when we can actually tell people, mostly his mum as they're very close.

Beachgal72 · August 2013

My husband wanted to tell everyone right away. I had to explain why that wasn't a good idea. Now he is still excited, but really has no clue that I could be having any pregnancy symptoms yet. He thinks because the baby is so small all is status quo. This is also the man who thought menstrual cramps were just one quick cramp and then it is over until about a year ago. Oh, men!

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