My sister's loss

BeeGirl2 · August 2013

I have been on the bump for a little bit but only recently discovered the community boards. I was lurking for parenting tips and such and then a week ago the world changed forever. My sister 24 weeks pregnant with twin boys went into labor. the doctors tried everything and could not stop it and both babies passed. I feel so many emotions and find myself burying these feelings because they are secondary to the pain I feel for what her and her husband are going through. My friends try to talk to me about it but I do not feel like it is my story to tell. i want to respect my sister (who is a very private person) and let her tell her story when she is ready. I feel like the experience is sacred to her right now and I would be violating a trust by talking about it. I have questions and concerns and just didn't know if this was a place I could ask some of my questions. I am not sure I am even ready at this point but have the utmost respect for this board and want to make sure it was ok.

fluttergirlmoonchild79 · August 2013

***SIGGY WARNING***

I personally don't have a problem with questions (in fact I welcome them) but I can't speak for everyone who posts on this board. If you'd like, feel free to private message me. I'll be more than happy to answer any questions you may have (or at least try to). I commend you for being sensitive to her needs as well as the needs of us loss mommies.

angelsnight · August 2013

fluttergirlmoonchild79 said:

***SIGGY WARNING***

I personally don't have a problem with questions (in fact I welcome them) but I can't speak for everyone who posts on this board. If you'd like, feel free to private message me. I'll be more than happy to answer any questions you may have (or at least try to). I commend you for being sensitive to her needs as well as the needs of us loss mommies.

Ticker warning

This, you can also private message me if you would feel more comfortable as well. I'm very sorry for your family's loss.

Noethola · August 2013

I am very sorry for your families loss. While it is a very different loss for your sister and her husband, the extended family is deeply affected as well.

I agree. I am very open to questions, especially in how to help family members both cope and interact with the parents who have lost a baby. Feel free to PM me or ask here.

lrichmond86 · August 2013

It sounds as though you've been very sensitive and supportive of your sisters needs right now. I think it's important that you continue to respect your sisters privacy, but I do understand that this impacts you deeply as well. I'm so sorry for the loss of the twins and hope that we can be helpful in handling this difficult time.

Heatherhah · August 2013

I am okay with questions as well. Either through pm or on here. I love to educate people when ever I can on this topic since it is so taboo.

Heather

BeeGirl2 · August 2013

Ladies, thank you so much for your support. I met a woman about 5 years after her baby was born sleeping and I remember being truly touched by her story. I remember thinking how strong she must be for having gotten through such a horrific time... but then to watch the last week as my sister and her husband have lived the nightmare... the raw feelings that my entire family is experiencing is one I really have no words for. Coming on her gave me hope that so many people are able to go on, heal and some even have rainbow babies. It also sadness me so deeply to see how often this really happens to people, I really just had no idea... I will be reaching out to all of you at some point. I want to support my sister as much as I can in any way that I can. God bless all of you and your angles.

BrandiLeigh5 · August 2013

I gave birth to my Twin boys at exactly 24 weeks also. Jacob grew his wings 3 days after birth and Noah grew his wings 35 days after birth. I would be more then happy to answer any questions you have. Feel free to PM me anytime.

Dixon813 · August 2013

I am so very sorry for your families' losses. You caring and being touched to come on this board truly says a lot...

As many have already said, we welcome questions - either PM or this format - should you have anything you want to ask. And PP said there are some resources on this board that may help you with what to do/say for your sister and brother in law.

We lost our triplets at 23 weeks, and while I don't know your sisters story, having to go through labor THREE SEPARATE TIMES was very difficult emotionally and physically. I will be praying for you and your family - and please feel free to PM or ask open questions.

ehlersm · August 2013

I am so sorry for your family's loss. I lost my twin boys about a year and a half ago. I would consider myself a very private person and I think because of that a lot of people would not talk to me about it. Some days that was okay and some days I just wanted to be able to talk about my children like everyone else does. Now that I am over a year out and have my rainbow, I often bring up the topic myself if nobody else will. Feel free to ask whatever on this board and maybe mention it to your sister as a safe place to come when she is ready.

bunnycakes011508 · August 2013

I am so sorry.

I'm sure your sister appreciates your discretion. The loss of a pregnancy is hard on more than just the couple. My husband and I are crushed, but my in-laws are also very sad and disappointed. When I told my dad the news he literally couldn't breathe and had to step outside. My side of the family is very upset. I found out a couple weeks later that a cousin on my side of the family, a couple weeks further along than me, lost hers the same week I did. I'm so upset about it. They're such a wonderful, loving family and I was so excited about the new baby cousin. It hurts not only to think about my loss, but hers as well.

It's normal- people look forward to a new family member and get really excited too. I hope you stick around, because while the parents definitely need help dealing with the pain, so does the family around them.

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