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Returning to work and bedtime routine

tatithomastatithomas member
in Working Moms
Hi everyone, I've been lurking around this board for a while.  We are having out first child in November and we're super excited.  However, I'm finding I'm constantly anxious about going back to work and how it's all going to work.  My DH and I commute together from the suburbs into the city, about an hour to sometimes an hour and a half ride each way depending on traffic.  My MIL will be watching the baby for us while we're at work, but she lives in the city, so basically we'll be taking the baby with us on our commute, dropping him off, going to work, returning to pick him up and make the commute back home together as a family.

We leave the house around 7-7:30am each morning and don't typically get back home until 6:30-7:00pm each night.  I'm worried that leaves little time for any sort of nighttime routine.  Everything I've read said it's best to get the baby down by 7pm for the night.  Any suggestions about how to make the most out of the limited time I'll have with my baby during the week?  Can we extend bedtime with not detriment to baby?

I also have this insanely irrational fear that my MIL will be spending so much more time with my son than me, his mom.  And that soon enough my son will prefer her to me.  It literally has me in tears sometimes.  Any suggestions to get over this anxiety about going back to work? As much as I'd love to stay home, we just can't afford it.

Thanks so much!!

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Re: Returning to work and bedtime routine

  • 9fraulein9fraulein member
    My daughter is 5 months today, if she takes 3 big naps in the day, she won't go to bed till 9pm. I am guessing that your baby will sleep on the ride home, and then be awake for a couple hours before falling asleep for the night.
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  • traveltheworldtraveltheworld member
    My parents lived with us and watched DS when I went back to work when he was 4 months, so I felt I didn't even get much alone time with DS when I was home from work because my mom was always there. But DS clearly prefers me. There is not even a competition - I win hands down :P

    Try to think about the positives - your LO will get lots of love and one on one attention. My DS is now in DC and although I like the socialization aspects of it, I miss not having to worry about how well he ate/slept etc.

    And yes, if you drive, let him nap in the car on the way home. I usually read and play games with DS on the way to work but he is too tired to play on the way back. Good luck!
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  • mexicolombianamexicolombiana member
    I've never put my children to bed at 7 pm.  See what works for you, it will work itself out I promise. 

    We get home around 5:45 pm/6:00 p.m and we're barely eating dinner at 7:30.  Kids are asleep by 9 or 9:30 and it works great for us. 

    Good luck and don't stress about it now.  Wait until you have the baby and you guys will get into a great routine I'm sure. 




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  • tatithomastatithomas member
    Thanks everyone!!  All of your responses really helped put me at ease! 

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  • jnealetjnealet member

    I agree - neither of our girls have ever gone to bed before 8pm unless they aren't feeling well.  As newborns/infants they went to bed later than that, around 11pm.  The baby will sleep on the way home and be ready to play for a while when you get home.  And when the baby is older, you can sit in the back with him and play in the car.

    And don't worry about the MIL, my girls know who is mama and daddy no questions.

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  • Mrs_LadyMrs_Lady member
    don't stress! Aim for 730p and you are lucky MIL watches your LO. there is no replacement for mama:)
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  • laurakaz13laurakaz13 member

    Just want to add that no one can replace mommy!  Your LO will never pick someone else over you, regardless of how much time she spends with them.  My LO has lots of people (teachers, sitters, grandparents, friends) whom she loves, but she adores me (and DH) more than anyone, no matter what. 

    You'll figure out a schedule that works for you. 

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  • dizzycooksdizzycooks member
    You will still be number one, there won't even be a contest.  Even now, with all the fun and games at DC, DD still prefers me and is happy to go when I arrive.

    We have a much earlier schedule, Dd is up by 5:45 and at DC by 6:30am.  We are home by 4:45 and she's in bed by 6:30.  I am hoping that moves to 7 this fall, but for now, that's what she needs, she's a big sleeper.  I make dinner while DH plays with her and then we all eat together.  We play together for 30 minutes or so outside and then DH takes her for bathtime while I clean up the kitchen.  After that I snuggle her and we both read her stories.  It's a fast pace and we don't do anything else, but once she's asleep we have 2-3 hours to relax and do chores or whatever.
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