MIL Vent

LO95 · August 2013

I genuinely believe there are just two kinds of mother-in-laws in the world: 1) the really amazing, do-anything for you, are you sure you aren't my birth mother kind and 2) the evil, narcissistic, drive-a-stake-through-your-heart-and-then-eat-it-for-breakfast kind. Guess which one I have?

So, this little vent is actually NOTHING compared to her usual antics, but my SIL is pregnant and planning to fly into town this week to visit. Now, normally, MIL REFUSES to pick her (or anyone else from out of town) up from the airport. So we assumed we would go get SIL (she is fabulous- love her) and she would stay the night at our house. However, MIL threw a fit when she heard our plans because she needs "time with her grandchild". In the midst of said rant, she proceeded to somehow weave in a comment along the line of, "And when is your (DH and I) guest bedroom going to finally be a nursery?"

I have 8 years of stories that are so much worse and more important that this one, but there are little digs all the time. She knows DH and I are trying to get pregnant. Why did she even say it?

Anyone else have any shitty MIL stories?

TallaB · August 2013

Girl, I hear ya.

My MIL is definitely type 2. Her latest thing...trying to force us to pay her $8k. $6k for...i don't know...the cost of raising my H? And 1k for making her attend our wedding - the worst wedding of the century (meaning, she didn't get all the attention that day). I told her she can take us to court or shut up. I don't even pretend to like her - not after 5 years of her calling me a b!tch, c**t, rude...yada, yada.

She'll be lucky to even get a memo when we get pregnant!

kristine526 · August 2013

I'm lucky enough to have the first kind. Sorry your MIL is being a B.

[Deleted User] · August 2013

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Siamese253 · August 2013

My MIL is the #1 kind. My own mother however, is a different story.

Most recently her top "gems" have been:

1. to tell me that I might not be able to get pregnant because I'm not a vegan like her (she just became a vegan 4 months ago).

2. to say that my inability to get pregnant isn't her fault because she conceived my brother in the first month of TTC, and conceived my twin sister and I 6 months after he was born while BF'ing.

3. to insinuate that if she wasn't post-menopausal, she probably could have had another set of twins in the time it's taking me to conceive one.

My DH has also been on the blunt end of my mom's delightful comments many times, so we don't visit her often. God, please don't let me be like that women when I have a child of my own.

TallaB · August 2013

Siamese253 said:

My MIL is the #1 kind. My own mother however, is a different story.
Most recently her top "gems" have been:
1. to tell me that I might not be able to get pregnant because I'm not a vegan like her (she just became a vegan 4 months ago).
2. to say that my inability to get pregnant isn't her fault because she conceived my brother in the first month of TTC, and conceived my twin sister and I 6 months after he was born while BF'ing.
3. to insinuate that if she wasn't post-menopausal, she probably could have had another set of twins in the time it's taking me to conceive one.
My DH has also been on the blunt end of my mom's delightful comments many times, so we don't visit her often. God, please don't let me be like that women when I have a child of my own.

Interesting. I am a vegan and have been for 3.5 years and terrified it will affect me getting pregnant due to soy consumption and vitamin levels. I mean, i'm definitely not going to take up meat eating, but I would never recommend becoming a vegan in order to get pregnant.

Siamese253 · August 2013

@tallaBknowing my mother, she doesn't care about what would actually help me with TTC, she just wants to brag about how awesome she is at being a vegan.

doodiebug18 · August 2013

My MIL always tells me if I would lose 20 lbs than I would get pregnant right away. I know how you feel op! We got into it one time, thank God DH was there to break up our argument.

brneyemom2 · August 2013

Ugh, I'm sorry to hear that.

I'm fortunate enough that my husband sees how crazy his mother is and we just don't spend any time with her, ever. My children don't even know who she is, and that's for their benefit. She screwed up her own life and children's lives so bad that I'm not letting her within miles of my kids.

Valie18 · August 2013

DH is on the phone with MIL right now. He is amazing.

She is giving him a hard time because we never see her. Why have we not seen her? Well, because 3 weeks ago I submitted a 70 page technical report and one week ago I had my comprehensive exam, and Monday I fly out to a conference where I'm presenting another body of work.

I swear I'd spend one night listening to her tell me how to be a better person (read more like her) just to get out of work for a night, but it's not going to work with my schedule right now. Stop trying to guilt us!

AppleGrapeMSTK · August 2013

Prior to moving out of state last month, we lived with MIL. I swear she survived all 3 of her strokes just to spite me.

Any time I tried to lay down the law with DD, MIL would come in and say the opposite. I bought DD shoes, but she misbehaved, so I told her I would take them back to the store if she didn't change her attitude. She got worse, so I returned them. MIL got in line behind me and REPURCHASED the shoes I had just returned. I almost left her at the shoe store.

Valancyy · August 2013

LO95 said:

However, MIL threw a fit when she heard our plans because she needs "time with her grandchild".

This line cracked me up. Time with her grandchild who is currently in your SIL's belly?

Luckily I have a great MIL. But some of these stories make me shudder. What is wrong with people?

StacyJYay · August 2013

LO95 said:

I genuinely believe there are just two kinds of mother-in-laws in the world: 1) the really amazing, do-anything for you, are you sure you aren't my birth mother kind and 2) the evil, narcissistic, drive-a-stake-through-your-heart-and-then-eat-it-for-breakfast kind. Guess which one I have?

So, this little vent is actually NOTHING compared to her usual antics, but my SIL is pregnant and planning to fly into town this week to visit. Now, normally, MIL REFUSES to pick her (or anyone else from out of town) up from the airport. So we assumed we would go get SIL (she is fabulous- love her) and she would stay the night at our house. However, MIL threw a fit when she heard our plans because she needs "time with her grandchild". In the midst of said rant, she proceeded to somehow weave in a comment along the line of, "And when is your (DH and I) guest bedroom going to finally be a nursery?"

I have 8 years of stories that are so much worse and more important that this one, but there are little digs all the time. She knows DH and I are trying to get pregnant. Why did she even say it?

Anyone else have any shitty MIL stories?

Too many to mention. Seriously. I feel your pain.

TallaB · August 2013

cjchio said:

We aren't on speaking terms with my mil. I have nut allergies, and she tried to feed me nuts in a meal she cooked. Thank god I didn't eat it. I don't think she was trying to kill me, but wanted to prove my allergies weren't going to kill me.

@cjchio oh my god!!! I don't have nut allergies, but my MIL likes to try and pass off foods as "vegan" when they aren't and acts all offended when I double check the ingredients or packaging. I have a dairy allergy - but nothing that would kill me. She just can't seem to respect my beliefs or decisions. But, what your MIL did is just dangerous! I would seriously make her watch or read some stories about anaphylaxisis (yes, i know that's spelled wrong) and severe allergies and make her understand before I let her serve me anything again!

MalyJ · August 2013

With DS I had an emergency C-section. After being wheeled back to my room on my hospital bed, she and my mom came to my bedside to talk to me. DS and DH weren't even in the room...they were in the nursery doing the clean up, weighing, etc. So it was literally MINUTES after being stitched back up.

Anyway, MIL leans over my bed as I'm still flat on my back and says "I hope your C-section recovery is better than mine. My stitches and staples ripped open 3 different times and had to be re-done. Very painful! But then again, you're not quite as heavy as I was when I had Jon."

What?!

Valie18 · August 2013

cjchio said:

cjchio said:

We aren't on speaking terms with my mil. I have nut allergies, and she tried to feed me nuts in a meal she cooked. Thank god I didn't eat it. I don't think she was trying to kill me, but wanted to prove my allergies weren't going to kill me.

@cjchio oh my god!!! I don't have nut allergies, but my MIL likes to try and pass off foods as "vegan" when they aren't and acts all offended when I double check the ingredients or packaging. I have a dairy allergy - but nothing that would kill me. She just can't seem to respect my beliefs or decisions. But, what your MIL did is just dangerous! I would seriously make her watch or read some stories about anaphylaxisis (yes, i know that's spelled wrong) and severe allergies and make her understand before I let her serve me anything again!
I tried prior to. My husband and I sent her links to FAAN, and a great video about what can happen. She doesn't care. She is insane. We have put ip with abusive control freak behavior with her for a longtime. She would buy bil $300 computer stuff and his wife cashmere sweaters for gifts at christmas. I got a lotion set from walmart while my husband got a 2xl shirt with chili peppers on it. Wtf?

She sounds insane. That's scary about the allergies.

SweetTea420 · August 2013

My MIL is bipolar. I love her, but its really difficult to learn to deal with her outbursts. She'll get mad about something dumb when something else is actually bothering her.

TallaB · August 2013

cjchio said:

cjchio said:

cjchio said:

We aren't on speaking terms with my mil. I have nut allergies, and she tried to feed me nuts in a meal she cooked. Thank god I didn't eat it. I don't think she was trying to kill me, but wanted to prove my allergies weren't going to kill me.

@cjchio oh my god!!! I don't have nut allergies, but my MIL likes to try and pass off foods as "vegan" when they aren't and acts all offended when I double check the ingredients or packaging. I have a dairy allergy - but nothing that would kill me. She just can't seem to respect my beliefs or decisions. But, what your MIL did is just dangerous! I would seriously make her watch or read some stories about anaphylaxisis (yes, i know that's spelled wrong) and severe allergies and make her understand before I let her serve me anything again!
I tried prior to. My husband and I sent her links to FAAN, and a great video about what can happen. She doesn't care. She is insane. We have put ip with abusive control freak behavior with her for a longtime. She would buy bil $300 computer stuff and his wife cashmere sweaters for gifts at christmas. I got a lotion set from walmart while my husband got a 2xl shirt with chili peppers on it. Wtf?

She sounds insane. That's scary about the allergies.
We seriously think she has severe mental issues.

She sounds like it. We actually recently went to therapy with my MIL (because I refuse to have any communication without a neutral 3rd party) and she argued with the therapist and stormed off and then later complained the therapist ONLY had a masters, so clearly didn't know anything.

I don't understand some people.

Pintobean39 · August 2013

I'm so glad my MIL is nice to me .... Then again she does live half way across the us from us and we only talk on the phone and see each other about once a year. The only complaint I have about her is she shows favoritism to her children. I'm married to her not so favorite son. I just don't understand how you can have a favorite.

Now my ex MIL is a BITCH and she has never liked me. Last year she literally threatened to get a lawyer if I didn't send her grandson to a school she wanted him to go to. Her son, my sons father, gave up custody of his son a couple of years ago. I guess she just thinks she should take over in his place.

TeeJ526 · August 2013

Wow... Hearing about MILs trying to aggravate nuts allergies and other MILs being bipolar or having severe mental issues really puts things into perspective for me. You ladies are awesome for having to deal with that regularly.

magpie87 · August 2013

@LO95 Your MIL sounds like a piece of work. I thought my MIL fell into the first category, but over the last year, she's changed a lot and I'm not really sure where she would rank now.

sueann911 · August 2013

Wow. These make me thankful for my MIL who is driving 30 miles to meet me halfway to give me a trigger shot in a dark parking lot.

WolFox · August 2013

Sometimes she is okay, and sometimes she's crazy and terrible. I stand up for myself so she hasn't been bugging us too bad lately, but if how she has treated my BIL and SIL since THEY had kids is any indication, we're going to have issues once we have kids too.

Swede25 · August 2013

My MIL fits in between #1 and #2. She does care very deeply for people she loves, but within the last few years she has been so passive aggressive about things and tries to put DH or I on guilt trips all the time. I first noticed it when we got engaged and she decided to go ahead and tell my BIL that DH was going to ask him to be best man...when my husband hadn't decided at all if that was the case (awkward). It only got worse when my son was born. My parents live in the next neighborhood over and my ILs live 5-6 hours away, so it's always about how they never get to see him, we never go out of our way to see them but see my parents all the time (um, 1/2 mile vs 5 1/2 hours...), that sort of thing. Everything, no matter the situation, has to be about her. Today was my son's birthday party and she had to make comments about what SHE wanted, not what my son wanted. I really wanted to tell her to F off. She has no clue how much her son really doesn't like her being around and it's sad. She will also try to turn DH against me in order to get her way. If I tell her one thing and she doesn't like it, she'll email DH right away trying to convince him otherwise by basically going against every reason I have. Little does she know that I've already talked to him and he thinks she's batshit crazy.

We purposely did not tell them when we were TTC our first, nor did they know about our infertility treatments and losses, and we sure as hell aren't telling them we are TTC now. MIL has the biggest mouth ever. DH's brother and his wife are expecting their first, and while they themselves weren't at the bday party today, MIL felt the need to tell a mutual friend of ours how often they were having sex in order to conceive. At one point our friend looked really uncomfortable, so I said "I'm sure they will LOVE knowing you are telling people this..." and she replied with, "Oh she tells people all the time!" Right! I know I'm going to be getting cervix updates from her even though I don't want them. Ugh.

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