Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

Separation Anxiety and 18 month sleep regression

Lately, my DD has been VERY resistant to bedtime and naptime. She SCREAMS as soon as we/I finish the routine and puts her down in bed. Before a few days ago, she'd go down just fine by herself and sleep pretty well for the night/nap. Now, however, my husband is having to go in and just reassure her that he's still there (if I go in she somehow manages to scream louder "Momma....nananana....Mama" etc. It usually is taking her an hour to an hour and a half to finally fall asleep because she's just screamed herself exhausted. She's going through a wicked separation anxiety from me, because I'm with her at home, even though we go tons of places with people. We didn't want to do cry it out at all again, but this hit us blindsided. So my husband is going in to reassure her that yes, we/he are still here for her but it's time to sleep. Then when she wakes up at night one of us (ahem....husband) is usually already so out of it they (ahem, HE) brings her to bed with us no matter what time. So now she's getting into the habit of sleeping pretty much all night with us. I'm worried about that too.

Does anyone have any other advice to give about maybe helping her through this phase - separation anxiety, sleep issues, the 18 month sleep regression. Should we continue the CIO with reassurance all night or would that make it worse? Should we move her bedtime to a later time? Her naps are completely nonexistent since I'm the one that has to put her down - it's so weird, she was taking good 1 1/2 to 1 and forty minute naps in her crib when I'd put her down. She does get to snuggle with me when we're at Grandma's but we haven't done that for MONTHS at home so I don't know what I should do there either - CIO with reassurance and then just let her skip it if she doesn't go to sleep? Urgh. I'm not even that tired since she's sleeping with us but I am frustrated - my time alone and my husband and I's time alone is shot because she won't go to sleep.

Re: Separation Anxiety and 18 month sleep regression

  • We are in the same boat, DS is 15 months and got his molars in 2 weeks ago.  Typically when teething or sick he sleeps with us and goes back fine.  Not this time, he is sleeping with me in the queen bed in his room.  He refuses to go back in his crib - points to the bed.  We are thinking of putting him in the bed, he moves so much I would imagine he is hitting his head in his crib.  But that still won't fix the waking up in the middle of the night.  Can't wait to hear other answers!
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  • DD has always been very attached.  Separation anxiety of some variety is the norm around here in certain circumstances, and alone at night is a big one.  I sleep with her.  Not the right answer for everyone, but if my husband were scared and lonely in the middle of the night, I wouldn't tell him to bugger off and go to sleep alone, so I don't tell her.  (I can get enough rest sleeping with her that it works out.  There are certainly going to be situations where you have to tell the kid "yeah, you're alone and scared and lonely, but we need to function as a family and I can't help you now."  That's what compromise as a family is all about.)
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