Telling people you are TTC

CopperPoppy · July 2013

I'm curious who you have told that you are TTC. Did it change with TTC1 vs #2? Friends, family, coworkers? Why? I'm just trying to get an idea. We really haven't told many friends and of family, only my mom knows.

rainbowmkr1979 · July 2013

Only my DF knows! My 13 year old knows that we want to TTC one day. I could never tell my mom! And considering from our engagement to marriage is only 4 months they all probably think I'm pg anyway :-)

SummerMomma2Be · July 2013

We have told a few friends. A while ago we told some family we were shooting for the Summer but haven't really told people this month was the official month. I am contemplating when it does happen how quickly we will tell people. With DS, we told a lot more people. We are trying to be a bit more discreet now.

rainbowmkr1979 · July 2013

Oh, and my 2 best friends (maids of honors) know we are currently TTC but they are it! So, me, DF and 2 friends making four total who know!

Valie18 · July 2013

My DH and our doctor and a bunch of people on the Internet. We don't need the extra opinions, pressure or support yet.

douglamj · July 2013

I probably have told too many...my mom, sister, and 3 or 4 very close friends from college

jenandtim828 · July 2013

I have told my best friend. From seeing what my SIL went through with her TTC, I don't want the added stress of my inlaws or family or coworkers asking or knowing. Plus, it's really no ones business.

chickpea912 · July 2013

I have only told my bff. Haven't even told our parents, and I doubt we will. People are pretty good about not pressuring us (either before DD or since then), and I don't want to invite any additional pressure.

ETA: I haven't even told my online group from my bmb, some of whom I am very close with. Just keeping it private.

JemmaWRX · July 2013

We're actually TTA for now but my sister and a few friends know the plan is to start trying this Winter. I only told people who I can trust to be supportive should it take a while or if we run into any issues.

Valancyy · July 2013

With my first we just said a general, "we'll start trying after being married for a year." We ended up TTC sooner, but conceived our son right around our first anniversary anyway.

With our second, we didn't tell anyone we were trying, but everyone knew we wanted 2 kids.

For #3 (and most likely last), we haven't told anyone we are going to be trying. We get the "are you going to try for a girl?" questions (which I hate, by the way). Our parents think we're stopping at two kids.

So, to answer your question...no, we never told anyone we were actively trying. I only had one person come out and ask with my first (a co-worker), and at that point I was pregnant but not telling yet.

sexyntexy · July 2013

3 close friends know. Some others know we are thinking about it. When I tell people we are trying for a third they think we are insane especially since we have the "perfect" family w/ a boy and girl. Apparently you can only have 3 if you have 2 of the same sex.

Since I have received a lot of rude comments I only tell close friends.

kristine526 · July 2013

You guys. :-)

DH (duh) and our two closest "couples" know. We're not telling family because once that happens, the whole world knows. As for my coworkers, they have themselves shoved so far up my uterus that I won't tell them until the 2nd tri out of spite. :-)

Valancyy · July 2013

sexyntexy said:

3 close friends know. Some others know we are thinking about it. When I tell people we are trying for a third they think we are insane especially since we have the "perfect" family w/ a boy and girl. Apparently you can only have 3 if you have 2 of the same sex. Since I have received a lot of rude comments I only tell close friends.

I never thought of that side of it. People are crazy.

lookame3639 · July 2013

Ive only told a few coworkers (who are also pretty good friends) my oarents know I want another kiddo but dont know we are activly TTC. Fiances family has no idea even kiddo talk is flying around..

sexyntexy · July 2013

Valancyy said:

sexyntexy said:

3 close friends know. Some others know we are thinking about it. When I tell people we are trying for a third they think we are insane especially since we have the "perfect" family w/ a boy and girl. Apparently you can only have 3 if you have 2 of the same sex.

Since I have received a lot of rude comments I only tell close friends.

I never thought of that side of it. People are crazy.

It's so annoying. We told my MIL we are thinking about it and she said "you are trying I kill me". She lives 6 hours away and watches them like once a year. Um, ok? Lol. People and their damn opinions!

elektragreen · July 2013

I've only told my best friend that we are TTC. We don't plan on telling anyone else until I am pregnant.

CopperPoppy · July 2013

Yea I've noticed it's kinda different for everyone about who they tell but generally not many. I agree it's a good idea to not tell. It's hard for me because I have a hard time concealing my excitement about things.

It's kinda like why tell people? There's not really anything to tell. Yup, I'm having unprotected sex, FYI.

sexyntexy · July 2013

laurae29 said:
Yea I've noticed it's kinda different for everyone about who they tell but generally not many. I agree it's a good idea to not tell. It's hard for me because I have a hard time concealing my excitement about things.

It's kinda like why tell people? There's not really anything to tell. Yup, I'm having unprotected sex, FYI.

It's why I loved the bump and all the e-friends I have made. They care lots about the state of my ute.

jenb_99 · July 2013

I told several friends when we were TTC #1, but I've only mentioned it in passing to one friend this time. I'm a lot more appreciative of my privacy these days, and more guarded.

mrs_tacos · July 2013

My parents and a few of our close friends know.

ap142193 · July 2013

It's been mentioned to our family and my co-workers, but we haven't made a big deal out of it so I'm not sure home much attention was paid to the statements.

CopperPoppy · July 2013

Elbug said:
With our first we were very open about it. This time I didn't want to tell anyone. My husband just loves to tell people everything though.... so our entire family now knows and a friend (who just spilled the beans to a bunch of other acquaintances we know). We keep getting random questions about ttc and people seriously look at my stomach all the time. I really want to respond back when they look with a huge juicy fart since there is nothing but gas and poop in there.

Mad respect if you do it and post it for proof. But I know what you mean. Other people can be so dang intrusive.

KatieN123 · July 2013

I told 4 close friends, MIL, and mom that we would be aiming to get pregnant at beginning of the summer. I told co workers that we would be trying in a year. I would not tell many people beacuse if you don't get pregnant in your time frame then they will ask you if you are. I wish now I would have not told some of the people since I was just diagnosed with PCOS and it seems it will take a while for me to get a BFP.

brookeK1990 · July 2013

No one but I think my fiancé has told his work friends

GirlOnTheBeach · July 2013

DH and I weren't going to tell anyone but my very close friend began talking about wanting to TTC and so DH and I told her about it. Turns out it was a good thing because now she and I can talk openly about our TTC journeys...

Soon2bStaff · July 2013

I feel like we have told way too many people! I believe that it's no one else's business besides DH and I but we are at that age where everyone around us is pregnant or TTC so it's easy to relate!

We have told our parents, a handful of close friends, and a couple coworkers! It's worrisome because I don't want people to only talk about that around us but everyone has been super supportive and they know it is pretty much not in our hands to when we are blessed with a baby!

BG09 · July 2013

My DH, doctor, and 2 of my close friends know. I'm sure lots of people assume that we will be trying for a baby soon, because we are building a new house and we just gave my pet bird away to a good home, which I'm sure raised some red flags (because a sleeping baby and a chirping bird are not a good combo).

MelanieAdam0707 · July 2013

With #1 I told my Mom we were TTC, but TFAS- well, it got a little complicated b/c my sister is getting married next year at the end of June so we've openly talked about us hoping to TTC for a due date before her wedding. DH and I just talked about not wanting the unexpected aspects of pregnancy (not being able to travel/bed rest) to prevent me from being at my sisters wedding(and being MOH!!). So we'll resume TTC for a due date after June if needed...but given the circumstances I told my parents, sibs and their SO

clh4444 · July 2013

We didn't really tell people outright but given our age and that my friends know I do want a family, they probably know we are. Of course it's been over a year and not PG yet so they have at least stopped raising their eyebrows if I don't drink. Haven't really said much to most of the family. I told my aunt, who is like my 2nd mom but she has been super annoying about how she read some article about couples who choose to remain childless and how their lives turned out. So she thinks I am crazy and I wish I had not told her so I did not have to listen to it. Plus if someone I barely know looks at me one more time, asks if I am having kids and says you're not getting any younger, then there will be throat punching involved. JFC, I know how friggen old I am.

LaDyBostonRN · July 2013

Some of my fellow nurses at work know, and my best friend. I don't want to tell family mainly because I want it to be a surprise. I probably shouldn't have told my co-workers in case it takes us a while to get a BFP, but what's done is done. I'm sure they will be supportive though.

GoaliesWife123 · July 2013

DW and I are a same sex couple with very opinionated families. Needless to say, we've told only my Mother, DW's Dad and three friends. Our families believe they should have a say in everything, so it was very intentional not to tell them. We didn't want the "are you pregnant yet" or the "why are you having a kid" remarks. We also thought to the future and if we are not successful, we don't want to have to explain why we aren't going any further (RE, etc.).

BBer4 · July 2013

Our families know. We told them after we made our RE appointment. I'm happy they are all so great because they have been so supportive and no one has said anything punch worthy.

Stasi · July 2013

We told everyone under the sun the first time. This time, I'll totally share if it comes up, but I'm not offering it up. My mom and a close co-worker knows so far...

zg49 · July 2013

I told one aunt (who wouldn't stop talking about us having kids one day), my hair dresser and a friend that just had a baby.

I will not be telling my mom or MIL as they will just add more stress to the situation.

beachlovingirl · July 2013

We've told way to many I think, a couple of close friends and my mom...I'm already sick of people asking if I'm pregnant yet. We've been trying 4 months, and I swear if I hear one more time to stop trying, relax and drink more wine and boom I'll be pregnant, I might slap someone! Thank God for the TTC board, otherwise I'd be freaking out that I wasn't already KU

MrsWallick · July 2013

I told my best friend and my SIL who is also TTC. We haven't been married long and I don't want to deal with people's unnecessary judgement. When it actually happens, everyone will be happy. Not their business right now.

MMason12 · July 2013

Two of my best friends know. We haven't told any one else including all our families, other friends, co-workers, etc. (Oh, all you ladies online here at the TB know as well, lol.)

We get asked EVERY SINGLE DAY (no joke!) when we are going to start having kids. It is much easier to blow that question off when they know we aren't trying verse having to hear, "Aren't you pregnant already?" That's the one thing I do NOT want to hear constantly, so we are just keeping it private.

Everyone will find out once I get a BFP (if I am so blessed) and I am 9-11 weeks along.

KenziK · July 2013

My mom knows that we are going to somewhat soon, just doesn't know exactly when. The only person who knows we are starting in a couple weeks is a good friend of mine that I work with. She and her H are going to start TTC the same month so we are constantly chatting about it.

MissLadyTay · July 2013

We told NO ONE when TTC number 1. But now that we are working on number 2 I don't care who knows. When friends ask about having another I just say we're trying. People have been really sweet and supportive. I don't offer the information though. My parents haven't asked so we haven't said anything.

Swede25 · July 2013

A lot more people than I would have liked knew that we were TTC #1. I was so excited about it that I told a lot of family and friends, who then told others, etc. Then, when it didn't happen as fast as they would have liked, the questions were never-ending! Sure made dealing with unexplained fertility tons of fun! Now we are getting all of the "Time for another one! H really needs a brother or sister!" comments. Yeah, thanks. Only a few friends and my immediate family know we are interested in having another.

curlylocks3 · July 2013

Originally we planned on keeping it all quiet until 12 weeks. Now my doctors, my parents, my brother and SIL, most of my girlfriends (and their spouses), my boss and most of my coworkers know.