WWYD - SAHM considering going back to work

doublefiesta · July 2013

I'm usually on the SAHM board bc I SAH (duh) but I need some working mom advice.

DH needs to finish his master's (he works f/t and is on hiatus from a p/t program). I currently stay home a 2.5yo and we're expecting LO2 in December. Tuition is about $14K, we'd prefer not to take out student loans bc interest rates have gone up a lot. Employer can contribute a few grand but nothing major. So I'm considering going back to work.

Even if I found a job now, I wouldn't qualify for FMLA so I could be let go at the end of the year anyway. I'm also worried about us as a family juggling two jobs, grad school, and two LOs in daycare. I'm sure lots of people do it, but it has got to be stressful.

Then again, every little bit could help. And who knows, I do like SAHing but maybe I'll like working better.

TIA for your thoughts.

Netty_3 · July 2013

I think it would be great if you found a job where they're family friendly and won't mind you taking maternity leave regardless. I think before taking a job you need to think if it will make enough to pay for the tuition PLUS daycare. If not, you may be in a mess anyhow, and taking the loans may be a better choice anyhow. I'm not one to condone more loans, you just need to weigh these options. Because I don't like the idea of more debt, that is the reason, I think if it's possible to pay for everything that you should work.

You could always try it, and if it becomes too much for your family to take on, maybe the next semester he can get the loans and you can go back to the arrangement you have now.

jnnfrrose6 · July 2013

You didn't mention if you'd be looking for FT or PT work. I'd say PT will be less stressful for you and more flexible if you can go that route. Then, if you do still need to take on a loan for school, it'll be smaller and more quickly paid off. Plus, when you go into PT work, it's easier to let them know your availability, so you can maybe only work in the mornings, or mid-day.

*sparky* · July 2013

I didn't answer the poll because I think it is more complicated than a multiple choice answer. Has DH been working FT + in school since you had your first LO? How much of a time commitment is that for him?

My DH has a very demanding job and if he were also to take on school we would literally never see him.

How much will DC for 2 LO's run you and will you make enough to cover that + the tuition costs, after taxes?

The way I see it is, by adding graduate school plus a job for you plus another baby all around the same time, that will put a lot of strain on your family. I would only do it if it would really be financially worthwhile for you to be working during that time.

What will DH's job prospects be as a result of getting his master's and could you feasibly pay off any loans pretty quickly once he is finished?

2chatter · July 2013

I would not take on debt to pick up an advanced degree unless the pay off is real and immediate, and in my experience, it's not. So I would be looking at ways to avoid taking on the debt and still getting the degree. I assume that you working would cover DC and fund school? If so, I would not worry too much about a maternity leave; worst case is you start over with your job search, best case is you find the right role now. I was hired three days before I delivered my second child, with full maternity leave paid, so anything is possible if you word hard and are talking career versus folding tshirts at the Gap.

doublefiesta · July 2013

Thank you for all these wonderful, thoughtful responses!

So to answer some of your questions:

@2chatter, yes my job would be to cover DC and school. DD currently goes to DC 2x/wk, if we keep her there plus send an infant, it'd be almost $2400/mo for 5 days. If we switch to an au pair or home DC, it'd be more like $1600. If we pay DH's tuition monthly that'd be $3k/mo I'd have to take home. I'll have to call our accountant to see how much I'd have to make in salary.
@*sparky* DH is an engineer and works for a municipality. His "full week" is 35hrs/wk, plus school would be an additional 10 hrs/wk. His school is an hour away, but all classes are webcast, so he doesn't have to go to campus. We're very lucky, we'd still see him plenty.
Currently his job function is project manager, but he would like to move into policy and mgmt. No immediate salary bump, but more opportunity down the line. Also most of his peers seem to have master's.
@jnnfrrose6 you know I hadn't considered p/t work bc just doing a quick scan p/t seems to make less hourly than f/t. But maybe the key to keeping it all together is taking out some loans and paying for some out of pocket.

FemShep · July 2013

It sounds like you need to make ~$60,000 to make it worthwhile after taxes; don't forget to also factor in costs like commuting, meals, extra household help, etc.

OP, what qualifications do you have? What kind of job would you pursue? Is working as a consultant an option?

Would going to work PT in the evenings and on weekends be an option? Your H could watch the kids while you pick up extra money.

daisy662 · July 2013

I think you need to weigh how much you would realistically earn if you went back. My DH is an engineer and he has 2 masters degrees that he obtained a couple years ago. While I personally don't see that it has benefited him at all yet, he says it could down the road as he takes on higher level positions. I personally don't think engineers make enough to justify it, but that's just me... I will say this, for me, I would not want to be a full time sahm. I would be bored. In a perfect world, I would work 2 or 3 days a week. Unfortunately, I am the major breadwinner so it makes more sense for us that I continue working ft. Best of luck!

shannm · July 2013

Would you be able to cover two kids in daycare plus tuition (for me, that is over 30k) with your potential salary? If so, I vote get a job.

doublefiesta · July 2013

I worked for 10 years in some sort of communications capacity for scientific and medical consulting (marketing, advertising, copy editing). I have a BA from an ivy but no adv degree. $60k is an avg salary for what I do, but I've been out of work for 3 years now. I don't know what I could get realistically. Also, my work was stressful - crazy deadlines, crazy clients, travel several times a year. It's why I always planned on SAHing. I could try to pick up consulting work. I guess I'd have to put in a lot of unpaid hours lining up work but it could pay off at the end, and it's no different from unpaid time spent applying for jobs. And hopefully I could do it evenings and weekends. My neighbor has a DD my DD's age and she waits tables 3 nights a week. I don't know where she gets the energy after taking care of a 2yo all day but I guess we all do what we have to do.

NicoleWI · July 2013

In your situation, I would wait until after LO and then decide, since you already don't qualify for leave. You could put yourself in a really stressful situation of having to go back to work well before you are "ready" with a newborn and no leave

It's very difficult to find a PT job that covers child care, sadly. I make a really good salary and nice benefits, but I cut down to 4 days/week and now I am pretty much working only for money I don't see--for my health benefits & retirement savings. I kind of can't believe that with my income (professional job, years of experience; so much better than so many people), I still barely cover child care. It's crazy.

Also, IMO, if you don't work b/c you love your career, and if you don't get a lot of personal fulfillment and/or just really need the "break" from home, you are adding a lot of complication and juggling and stress to your life by starting to work when you have a toddler, and infant, and a DH working FT plus school. With your DH working plus in school, you would likely be the one to pick up all the slack--handle sick kids, evening appointments, etc, and that can be hard.

I would take the loans, at least for now, and certainly not make any major decisions until after the baby arrives and you get settled into a new routine. Plus, you don't know what your baby will be like! My second baby was REALLY HARD and it was kind of a nightmare for awhile b/c he was up most of the night and wouldn't take a bottle all day while I was gone.

Don't take a job right now!

laurakaz13 · July 2013

I'm not the SAHM type so I would never choose that if I didn't have to. I really love having a successful career and our family does well with it.

DD is so incredibly happy in daycare and we have lots of perks with having two great salaries. I would work over having to take loans out for school. That's just me. I wouldn't feel SAH was justified if you couldn't pay for school on your own.

So clearly you know how I voted! Also, if you hate it, you can quit but it is worth a try.

lexusolsen · July 2013

I was laid off while DH was working two jobs and going to grad school. I was also 9 months pregnant. I turned down an offer for a job five month later because even though the money would have been helpful, our lives would have been too crazy. DH had to work two jobs because the career builder job wasn't stable. Yes, paying for it out of pocket would have been awesome but it costs us $50 a month... It's not the end of the world.

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WWYD - SAHM considering going back to work

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