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Considering leaving my job...

rinne129rinne129
in Working Moms
I never in a million years would have considered being a stay at home mom... I love my career, I love going to work everyday... and then I had my daughter.

I've been part time at work for all of July (working 2-3 days a week) and I cry every single day I have to leave her... and then again when I return home and all she wants to do is snuggle/nurse. It breaks my heart. I return full time next week and she heads to daycare... I know it will "get better"... but I am considering leaving my job next summer.
A few reasons:
1) My husband and I both travel and work long hours at various time during the year. On a good day, LO will be dropped at daycare at 8 a.m. and not picked up until 6 p.m... it's a long day. I worry about elementary school years and leaning on family members too much (especially once there's more than 1 around!)
2) I plan on getting my doctorate and taking "off" for a few years to do so and saving on daycare at the same time seems like a logical idea...
3) We can afford it. It would require a few cuts and limitations, but we would still be comfortable.

Anyone go through the same thoughts? What did you decide? My only hesitations are 1) missing work once I do leave and 2) not being able to find employment once I do want to return...
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Re: Considering leaving my job...

  • NicoleWINicoleWI member
    Well, you can see how you feel next summer. If you love your career, that's an important consideration. Maybe you'd find a part-time option that would seem perfect for you by next summer.

    That said, I am leaving my job at the end of the year and am thrilled about it. I want to try SAH. I know I may not love it and might return to work, but I want to try it. It's too crazy at home between my schedule and DH's. I agree with you about the length of the daycare day--longer than I would want--and about school-age kids and activities getting really hard to manage. Even now, DD is in preschool and has several things that I want to do with her that conflict with traditional work hours.
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  • jd614jd614 member
    I'm actually going thru something similar and considering leaving in February after I get paid. I work in an industry that is very hard to
    Re enter once you leave so DH and I
    Are looking at all options right now. But I leave DS at 545 every morning and don't return until 6pm and its really hard on me. Need to weigh the pros and cons some more but I'm
    Leaning toward leaving . I can sympathize with u tho ... It's a difficult decision either way so take the next year to think everything thru. While for
    Me its never easy, it's definitely gotten easier over time so maybe give it a little more of a chance . Good luck !
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  • Karla CSKarla CS member
    I don't see how you'd be saving on childcare costs while getting your doctorate. While you'd have some flexibility, you'll still have to go to class, study, etc. Especially as your LO gets more and more active, your ability to do both at once will decrease. They don't nap 3x/day forever.

    In terms of leaving, you've got a year to decide. I'd plan to play it by ear and see how it goes. You never know, after a few months of being back at work full-time, you may find yourself getting back into your groove. Or you may be 100% solidified in your decision to SAH. 

    Gaps on resumes always make things a little tricky. Like PP said, plan to leave on good terms, maintain any professional certifications you may have, keep your network active, and when (if you decide to SAH) you do head back to work, proactively address the gap. 
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  • jnealetjnealet member

    I think it depends on your field, I have a friend who is in a pretty small field and she's having a tough time returning to work after being a SAH for 3 years.  I have a friend who is in a larger field and she did ok finding a job to return too.

     

    Our girls are in school from about 7:45 to 5:15 and they do fine.  They enjoy "school" and love their friends and teachers.  I like that they have a strong connection with someone other than DH and me.  But they both have a stronger connection with DH and me at the same time.

     

    Judging from your ticker, you've just gone back to work.  It took a few weeks to get into a routine after going back to work with D1.  If you even a little bit unsure, I would work a few more weeks and then reassess. 

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  • StayingSecretStayingSecret member
    edited July 2013
    I don't think you'd regret it.  You can always go back.  I love working, but if it was too stressful, I'd quit in a heartbeat.

    If you had the right babysitter, you could do the doctorate thing, but probably really slowly.  A class/semester.

    ETA: I would definitely postpone making a decision until the Spring - you have plenty of time to think about it.
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  • st.augbridest.augbride member
    I actually think a doctorate is very doable with kids at home. You will have the flexibility and will just need a sitter to cover you while in class and studying. In fact, while getting my PhD, I kept thinking how ideal it would have been, but of course we both were in grad school and had no money! If you guys can swing it financially, then I think it sounds like a good option. Grad schools often have child care options too. Why don't you apply for the PhD now so that you can quit next summer and have a nice break before starting?
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  • litzo27litzo27 member
    I disagree. I worked for more than 8 hours a day getting the Phd. I had DS1 while at the end of my third year (i.e. done with both classes and with my teaching requirements) and absolutely had to get a nanny to make progress on the dissertation and some other projects and finish in 5 years (normal in my field). I can't imagine going through the program and not having full time care.
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  • laurakaz13laurakaz13 member
    edited July 2013

    OP- You have to do what's best for you and your family.  FWIW, my DD is in daycare 9 hours a day and absolutely LOVES it.  I also have sitters on the side who help when I'm overwhelmed, DH or I have to travel a bit, or when we just need a bit of help. 

    I think it's hard when you first go back to work, but gets a million times easier.  If you love your career, would you be able to get back into it if you left?  I love mine and if I left, I wouldn't be able to get it back.   I'd rather work hard now for the next 12 years and then retire early. 

    I can't relate to wanting to be a SAHM, b/c I would suck at it and end up depressed.  But it sounds like if you wanted to do that, you could.  I also agree that you'll need a sitter for a PhD program.  Especially with a toddler. 

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  • rinne129rinne129
    Thanks for all the feedback ladies.

    I am going on for my doctorate no matter what and where I will be going does it in cohorts (2 nights/week for 3 years straight followed by 2-3 years of dissertation work). I will either be able to continue seamlessly from my Masters or take a few years off to just work full time and be mom and then eventually go back once they're older. If I do choose to stay home come next year, I will begin my doctorate.

    The problem with my career is that no--I probably won't be able to "get back in" if I take a few years off, but with a doctorate, there are several other options in related areas that I could pursue. Yet another perk to leaving full time work to be student and mom sooner than later...

    I understand it is early (only been back at work for a month) and that it will "get easier" and I have no doubt my LO will LOVE daycare (I've never seen a child that didn't), but if I am going to do this I have to double up on grad classes this Fall... and for that I need to make a decision sooner than later. And all of my instincts are pointing towards being home...
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  • jd614jd614 member
    rinne129 said:

    Thanks for all the feedback ladies.

    I am going on for my doctorate no matter what and where I will be going does it in cohorts (2 nights/week for 3 years straight followed by 2-3 years of dissertation work). I will either be able to continue seamlessly from my Masters or take a few years off to just work full time and be mom and then eventually go back once they're older. If I do choose to stay home come next year, I will begin my doctorate.

    The problem with my career is that no--I probably won't be able to "get back in" if I take a few years off, but with a doctorate, there are several other options in related areas that I could pursue. Yet another perk to leaving full time work to be student and mom sooner than later...

    I understand it is early (only been back at work for a month) and that it will "get easier" and I have no doubt my LO will LOVE daycare (I've never seen a child that didn't), but if I am going to do this I have to double up on grad classes this Fall... and for that I need to make a decision sooner than later. And all of my instincts are pointing towards being home...

    Then there is the answer ! You are the mama and you know best ! Good luck to you

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