just warning you this post will not go over well. Much as it may be disappointing that your friends or family aren't offering to do this for you, what I've learned & read here many times is that a shower is not a guaranteed thing - it is a gift from someone in your life to you. And it's generally understood here that it's very tacky to throw your own shower. If no one offers, there's no shower, simple as that, unfortunate as that may be.
I'm having no shower as my best friend is away at the right time and my mother doesn't agree on them.Why don't you host a meet and great after the baby is born? A baby shower should be a gift where everyone may offer a gift, by doing your own shower your expecting gifts.
Put the money you would spend on throwing your own shower towards buying the things you need. Throwing your own shower is telling people to buy you gifts. It's just bad taste. After the baby is born you could always host a sip and see.
I agree with the others...a shower isn't a guarantee. If you don't have many friends then maybe someone in your family would throw it for you? I think my aunt and cousin threw mine (my cousin is my bff). Like others said, the $ you would spend on the shower could buy a lot of baby stuff!
Just a question though, and not to sound mean, but if you don't have many friends and they are all busy, who would you invite to said shower?
IMO, to each their own. If your friends don't think it's tacky(or don't say it to your face) it might still be thought of as present grabbing to others. As PP have said, showers are a gift. I have lurked the BSB countless times and watched posts like this go up in flames. Just to warn you as well, you will get alot of negative responses.
If you were told not to plan your own shower, it may mean one of two things: 1. People don't like the idea, and were obviously close enough to you to be honest; 2. Perhaps someone is planning a surprise shower.
In either case, YOU are having the baby and are ultimately responsible for the little darling. A shower is a great way to help a mom out, but it isn't a requirement, and should not be expected. My advice would be as PP's have said. Buy your own things, and if you want to, leave stuff in boxes and tags and save receipts. If per chance someone throws one, awesome! Take what you don't 'need' back. And if nobody does it, you're still prepared for baby's arrival.
I first thought this was MUD. This wasn't asking for advice, just stating something that in the past has stirred up some flames and drama. I'm impressed with how nice all of the responses were. OP, there's still plenty of time for someone to decide to throw you a shower. If no one offers, you can always host a meet the baby party after he or she is born.
I first thought this was MUD. This wasn't asking for advice, just stating something that in the past has stirred up some flames and drama. I'm impressed with how nice all of the responses were. OP, there's still plenty of time for someone to decide to throw you a shower. If no one offers, you can always host a meet the baby party after he or she is born.
@JRT512 , everyone's just waking up on the east coast! Lol.
I first thought this was MUD. This wasn't asking for advice, just stating something that in the past has stirred up some flames and drama. I'm impressed with how nice all of the responses were. OP, there's still plenty of time for someone to decide to throw you a shower. If no one offers, you can always host a meet the baby party after he or she is born.
@JRT512 , everyone's just waking up on the east coast! Lol.
I agree, I would not plan my own shower. But, you could just grab two or three of your closest friends and go out for brunch and maybe pedis and manis. Wait till closer to when baby will be born. Tell them it's will probably be your last "fun time" out party before baby comes. I have done this with pregnant friends before. You may not be getting presents out of it but you will still have the great memory of doing this with your few closest friends! You will also not be spending as much money...
I agree, I would not plan my own shower. But, you could just grab two or three of your closest friends and go out for brunch and maybe pedis and manis. Wait till closer to when baby will be born. Tell them it's will probably be your last "fun time" out party before baby comes. I have done this with pregnant friends before. You may not be getting presents out of it but you will still have the great memory of doing this with your few closest friends! You will also not be spending as much money...
This is exactly what I'm doing, inviting my closest friends and having a fancy meal at our favorite restaurant, I hate parties and lots of people fussing over me, i just feel super uncomfortable.
While it stinks that you feel no one in your life will make the time to do this for you, it is very poor etiquette to throw your own. As others before me have pointed out its like asking people blatantly to buy you stuff.. It's ultimately up to you, but I wouldn't do it.. You may end up with less friends than you started with.
I honestly hope that someone you know will plan one for you still, as there is plenty of time left. I know my mom and friend who are supposedly hosting mine are some of the biggest procrastinators I know.
My first question is, who told you not to throw your own shower? Maybe it's a little hint that one is already being planned and you should stop the pity party.
I don't agree with throwing your own shower. It is a gift done by family and friends to celebrate your baby. I agree with others that you should save the money and just put it directly towards your child.
If you feel like you still need some sort of acknowledgment, then wait until you have your child and arrange a meet the baby.
If you don't have anybody to throw you a shower, you don't have one. I'm sorry, I know it sucks, but you can't throw yourself a party where the sole purpose is to bring you presents. It's very tacky and liable to run off the friends you do have.
Agreed, very tacky. If your friends said not to throw your own they are either doing a surprise shower for you or trying to nicely tell you it's tacky.
"Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it the more it will elude you but if u turn your attention to other things it will come & sit softly on your shoulder."
BFP! 04/26/11 - DS born 12/28/11 - BFP #2! 04/02/13 - DD born 12/11/13 - My Ovulation Chart
I have a question in this regard. I am a way from my family and friends and I only have few ppl that I know now,do I still need to wait on someone to offer throwing it for me or just forget about it as I don't have anyone close to offer?
I have a question in this regard. I am a way from my family and friends and I only have few ppl that I know now,do I still need to wait on someone to offer throwing it for me or just forget about it as I don't have anyone close to offer?
Many people have showers hosted by a friend or family member from out of town. The shower is usually held in whatever location meets the needs of most guests. I have three friends hosting my shower together, and only one of them still lives in my same city. But since the majority of the invitees live here, the two out of town hosts are flying in. Hometown showers are also commonly hosted by a family member or close friend, and in that case the mom to be would travel "home" for the shower. If no one offers, I would take the advice of the PP's.
If you don't have anybody to throw you a shower, you don't have one. I'm sorry, I know it sucks, but you can't throw yourself a party where the sole purpose is to bring you presents. It's very tacky and liable to run off the friends you do have.
This exactly. Sorry but you shouldn't be throwing your own shower, ever.
Well if it were up to me I would love to plan my own shower just for the simple fact I would like to see certain people there that I know my MIL would not know of. I just told her the theme I wanted which was candy land. Candy and cupcakes everywhere and lots of hot pinks with black.
Since all of these comments are no don't plan your own shower I am going to do it anyways oh because I am having twins and I am a FTM, my mom is the only person assisting me so on that note I would place her as the host! I have already started ordering things that I would like at the babyshower so I guess I will be tacky for once in my life & would really knew I threw my own shower besides you moms! Thanks for the advice but I will continue to move forward
I'm having no shower as my best friend is away at the right time and my mother doesn't agree on them.Why don't you host a meet and great after the baby is born? A baby shower should be a gift where everyone may offer a gift, by doing your own shower your expecting gifts.
& I am sure your not a FTM! Meet and greet sounds good but in December around Xmas not to many people would be available besides close family
Since all of these comments are no don't plan your own shower I am going to do it anyways oh because I am having twins and I am a FTM, my mom is the only person assisting me so on that note I would place her as the host! I have already started ordering things that I would like at the babyshower so I guess I will be tacky for once in my life & would really knew I threw my own shower besides you moms! Thanks for the advice but I will continue to move forward
Why would you even post this if you had NO INTENTIONS of taking our advice!? What a waste of our time!!
I wasn't asking for any advice I was just simply venting! And why would you waste your time commenting you could have moved on I the next comment! Your comment wasn't need either!
Since all of these comments are no don't plan your own shower I am going to do it anyways oh because I am having twins and I am a FTM, my mom is the only person assisting me so on that note I would place her as the host! I have already started ordering things that I would like at the babyshower so I guess I will be tacky for once in my life & would really knew I threw my own shower besides you moms! Thanks for the advice but I will continue to move forward
Cool. So, you posted this with no intentions on actually taking any advice?
Re-read the post figure it out don't waste my time asking me questions
Since all of these comments are no don't plan your own shower I am going to do it anyways oh because I am having twins and I am a FTM, my mom is the only person assisting me so on that note I would place her as the host! I have already started ordering things that I would like at the babyshower so I guess I will be tacky for once in my life & would really knew I threw my own shower besides you moms! Thanks for the advice but I will continue to move forward
Cool. So, you posted this with no intentions on actually taking any advice?
Re-read the post figure it out don't waste my time asking me questions
Yes, please, re-read your post. It's hard to decipher what the fuck you're saying since you're so against punctuation, sentences, and paragraphs.
I wrote this post simply venting & to get feedback I didn't ask for any advice at all! If that was the case the post would have said Why can't I plan my own Bby Shower? I am not on here to waste anyone's time, it's up to you as a person to comment I'm not asking for anyone to comment if you had something negative to say you could have kept that to yourself and move to the other boards!
She did not ask for advice. There was no question mark in the OP. She said "hey everyone, I'm planning my own shower!" Then she said "I'm still going to plan my own shower!" That's why I was surprised people were so nice an offered advice anyway without being too snarky. I didn't even get to make popcorn.
Eta: I stand by my earlier post. This is MUD. Can we have a gif party now?
Since all of these comments are no don't plan your own shower I am going to do it anyways oh because I am having twins and I am a FTM, my mom is the only person assisting me so on that note I would place her as the host! I have already started ordering things that I would like at the babyshower so I guess I will be tacky for once in my life & would really knew I threw my own shower besides you moms! Thanks for the advice but I will continue to move forward
Cool. So, you posted this with no intentions on actually taking any advice?
Re-read the post figure it out don't waste my time asking me questions
Yes, please, re-read your post. It's hard to decipher what the fuck you're saying since you're so against punctuation, sentences, and paragraphs.
Go fuck yourself! It's not that fucking serious dumb ass
I have few friends and family in Florida, and my sister is technically hosting my baby shower, however she lives in Texas and I in Florida so I am assisting in the planning (getting addresses to her helping pick the them that sorta stuff) she is 'footing the bill" and doing any final preparations the week before when she gets here. ...maybe your mom can host and you just assist?
Re: .........
(I'll go back to lurking)
In either case, YOU are having the baby and are ultimately responsible for the little darling. A shower is a great way to help a mom out, but it isn't a requirement, and should not be expected.
My advice would be as PP's have said. Buy your own things, and if you want to, leave stuff in boxes and tags and save receipts. If per chance someone throws one, awesome! Take what you don't 'need' back.
And if nobody does it, you're still prepared for baby's arrival.
@JRT512 , everyone's just waking up on the east coast! Lol.
I honestly hope that someone you know will plan one for you still, as there is plenty of time left. I know my mom and friend who are supposedly hosting mine are some of the biggest procrastinators I know.
CP: 01/2011 | MMC: 01/2012 | MMC: 10/2012 | DS: 11/2013 | MMC: 11/2014 | DD: 01/2016
BFP: 06/2018 - EDD: 02/09/2019
I don't agree with throwing your own shower. It is a gift done by family and friends to celebrate your baby. I agree with others that you should save the money and just put it directly towards your child.
If you feel like you still need some sort of acknowledgment, then wait until you have your child and arrange a meet the baby.
"Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it the more it will elude you but if u turn your attention to other things it will come & sit softly on your shoulder."
BFP! 04/26/11 - DS born 12/28/11 - BFP #2! 04/02/13 - DD born 12/11/13 -
My Ovulation Chart
I am a way from my family and friends and I only have few ppl that I know now,do I still need to wait on someone to offer throwing it for me or just forget about it as I don't have anyone close to offer?
I don't have anything constructive to say other than, no, you shouldn't throw your own shower.
& I am sure your not a FTM! Meet and greet sounds good but in December around Xmas not to many people would be available besides close family
I wasn't asking for any advice I was just simply venting! And why would you waste your time commenting you could have moved on I the next comment! Your comment wasn't need either!
Emma Kate - born 10.16.03 @ 29 weeks, weighed 1lb 13oz and 13.5" long.
TTC #3
"Since all of these comments are, no don't plan your own shower I am going to do it anyways."
Thank you for the laugh.
Eta: I stand by my earlier post. This is MUD. Can we have a gif party now?
Go fuck yourself! It's not that fucking serious dumb ass
Emma Kate - born 10.16.03 @ 29 weeks, weighed 1lb 13oz and 13.5" long.
TTC #3