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Shower Invitation wording for travelers

kgreisserkgreisser
in Baby Showers

Hello guys and (I'm sure mostly) girls. Me and my wife are expecting in December for our first born, and some of our family members are starting to thing about shower ideas. We live in North Carolina but most of my family lives in the NJ and PA area. My question to you is, what is a good way to word the invitaion (or leave a seperate note)  to the ones that live so far, to let them know that they are invited and we would love to have them there, but understand the long distance; but also dont want them to feel like this invitation was just an excuse for them to get us a gift.

I dont want some of the members to think, "oh geeze they know we cant drive down there, why would they invite us, they must just want us to buy them something". Dont know if that would be there thought process, but we always worry haha.

 Thank you so much for any advice!!Smile

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Re: Shower Invitation wording for travelers

  • SingleMom31SingleMom31 member
    Since the invites will be coming from your hostess and not you, I think that adding a note in may be awkward. I'd probably contact them all and say something like,

    Hostessname will be sending out invitations for our shower soon. We know that you probably won't be able to come since you're so far, but wanted to invite you just in case.

    And maybe add something about how you hope to see them soon or that you're looking forward to introducing them to baby or something a little more personal.

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  • Valie18Valie18 member

    imageSingleMom31:
    Since the invites will be coming from your hostess and not you, I think that adding a note in may be awkward. I'd probably contact them all and say something like, Hostessname will be sending out invitations for our shower soon. We know that you probably won't be able to come since you're so far, but wanted to invite you just in case. And maybe add something about how you hope to see them soon or that you're looking forward to introducing them to baby or something a little more personal.

    This. Or have a family member contact them with the same sentiments. My Grandmas handled these before my wedding.

    ETA: But still send the invites (not you the host.) At least in my family people LOVE getting invites and hold on to them.

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  • ordinary1ordinary1 member
    imageSingleMom31:
    Since the invites will be coming from your hostess and not you, I think that adding a note in may be awkward. I'd probably contact them all and say something like,

    Hostessname will be sending out invitations for our shower soon. We know that you probably won't be able to come since you're so far, but wanted to invite you just in case.

    And maybe add something about how you hope to see them soon or that you're looking forward to introducing them to baby or something a little more personal.

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  • atcwagatcwag member
    I had this problem too and I really went back and forth in regards to inviting those people or not.  I think the only thing you can do is ONLY invite those that you are very close with (talk to regularly and/or immediate family members).  Those people are probably thrilled that you are expecting and wouldn't think twice about the invite.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member

    I had this same dilemma and didn't have my hostess send invites (shower next week) to our out of town friends and family- except MIL and step-MIL because I didn't want to seem like I was fishing for gifts from people that I know wouldn't come to the shower. It was actually a mistake as we got some hurt comments about how an invite would have been nice and we'd like to know where your registered, etc.  These were people we are close to emotionally, just not physically.

    In the end, my DH's opinion was, send an invite and let them decide how to RSVP and whether or not to send a gift.  As a shower is a gift in itself, those who want to or are to make it or send a gift, will, and at least the others know that you are thinking of them.  

    You may always offend or hurt someone's feelings, regardless of what you do or don't do, or try to do, so go with what is best for your family and situation and congrats! 

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  • EastCoastBrideEastCoastBride member

    imagesomerandomchick:
    It's just a shower, just don't invite people who live ridiculously far away. They won't be offended to be excluded. A shower is NOT a huge life milestone, its just a small party before the milestone. I didn't invite my California or Texas grandparents and aunts and uncles to my shower in Oregon... And it's ok, nobody's feelings are hurt. It's just a shower.
    This is where I fall.

    Plus, if you're so concerned about how it will look, this means it's not the norm in your family to invite people from far away to events like this.

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  • KDS1987KDS1987 member
    I vote don't invite them as well. My DH and I live 20 hours from our hometown and still get invited to everyone's baby showers, weddings, bridal showers, birthdays, etc. Honestly, I know their heart is in the right place but I feel obligated to send gifts to these people and it gets a little out of hand. If they are close family members that is one thing, but cousins, college friends, etc can probably just be kept up to date on the pregnancy and sent a birth announcement later. 
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  • JackieA2013JackieA2013 member

    I think you have to do what the norm is in your family/network.  I always receive invitations from close girlfriends and classmates for their out-of-town showers and weddings.  I almost always travel for the weddings, and almost never travel for the showers.  Either way, I appreciate getting the invitation, and usually send a gift.  I don't think of it as gift-grabby, since these are women that are very important to me.

    However, when I received an invite for a male cousin's fiancee's bridal shower all the way across the country, when I had only met her once and was already traveling for the wedding, I did side-eye that invite a bit.  But I gave her the benefit of the doubt that she was just being kind.

    If these folks are your good friends and family, then I think they will give you the benefit of doubt, and presume goodwill.

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  • babymama619babymama619 member
    I was just discussing this with my mom today. I have a large family, some of whom are far away. I don't want to not invite them, but obviously I don't expect them to travel all the way here. My mom said well maybe if someone is in town they would like to come, otherwise it's just nice to be included. I agree. I will not be sending a note because I'm hoping they know these things.

    As for the gifts, if people want to send one they will. If not, they'll be happy they are RSVP ing no and won't feel obliged to send one.

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