Not in the zone :(

arcook0307 · July 2013

I wanted a natural birth with DD1 and feel like I only avoided an epidural due to the fact that I dilated relatively quickly and because the anesthesiologist was helping someone else.

This time...19 months later with DD2, my husband will be out of the country and it's just me and my doula. I know natural is best but my anxiety anticipating the pain of it all again is through the roof. I have been so busy getting my freezer stocked with yummy food (DH comes home apx 12 days after my due date) and getting everything prepared for someone to swoop in and take care of DD1 that I haven't had one single second to even remind myself of why I believe natural birth is best. It's like I had to talk myself into it last time....and honestly I still begged for an epi. I just don't feel "strong" if that makes sense. Parenting alone for months has taken it's toll and my doula is different this time due to relocation. I'm a little emotional about my husband not being there for the birth as well. I am so stressed over how this will all go down (making it to the hospital in time bc DD came quickly....hoping my doula will answer when I call, hoping my childcare will answer when I call, ensuring things are squared away here at home and ready at all times for someone to walk into and blindly take over, etc.)

Any advice? With 11 days until I'm due, I'm still running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I can't seem to get my hands on any good literature...doubt I have time to buy and read a book anyway.

KatetheGreat79 · July 2013

Ina May's guide to childbirth was a quick read for me and was very encouraging. I think you would love it! Just start with the second part of the book and read the birth stories if you have time.

KateLouise · July 2013

Wow that sounds like you have heaps going on, and it is exhausting parenting whilst pregnant, especially doing it on your own.

Do you feel like you can work some time into your day to just focus on you. Even just ten minutes after LO has gone to bed for the night, to do some breathing exercises and focus on what's important to you about this birth, and try and give yourself some relax time? Maybe you'd find some of the hypnobirth affirmations around your body being made to do this, that every contraction brings your baby a little closer to meeting you etc etc etc

Have you talked your anxieties through with your doula? What was her take?

Best wishes for your upcoming birth!

arcook0307 · July 2013

redaero:
Another thing to keep in mind is that labor will probably be shorter and easier for you the second time around. I just had my second natural birth at a freestanding birth center, and labor was two hours shorter, pushing was about an hour and a half shorter, and I progressed a lot faster than I expected! When I got to the birth center, I was guessing I was maybe at 3cm, based on how I felt, but I was at 6.
Your body really does seem to "remember" what it's doing the second time around. My second delivery was WAY easier to cope with than my first. I think having a previous vaginal birth really does make a world of difference. You can do it!

Thank you so much for this! I hope I don't go any faster than last time but that was really helpful!

arcook0307 · July 2013

BreanneL24:
I am 13 days from my DD and sometimes I feel the same way, although I'm no where close to a situation like yours. However my life has gotten busy and I wasn't in the same positive mindset that I was before DS's birth. I sit in the bath for awhile every night and read some birth stories from Ina May's spiritual midwifery book. It helps me remember why I want to birth naturally and also I get to relax and spend some time by myself. Maybe you can try that.

Going to look for the book tomorrow!

Not in the zone :(

Re: Not in the zone :(

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