Getting excited....makes me nervous

cpm1223 · July 2013

Just a vent:

So now that I'm further along than I had gotten before when I had my loss, I'm starting to let myself get excited. I'm starting to feel like I might actually have a baby in January.

I just spent an hour on the phone talking baby stuff with my mom. I bought some super on sale clothes at target today.

Of course now I'm a bit of a wreck. I used the Doppler and found the hb easily but I'm still so worried that this will all be pulled out from under my feet and something will go wrong. I'm worried that we will find something horrible at the a/s in a few weeks or that something will go wrong even later down the road.

Ugh this pgal brain is a pain in my butt! I know better than to think that I could jinx this by buying items or being excited, but I can't turn off my brain from thinking the worst.

Thanks for letting me vent...sorry this got so long.

cyndilouwho77 · July 2013

I completely understand, the further I get away from my loss time the happier I tend to feel and then I will have a moment of panic. I question all the same things and its like waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak.

Hang in there and keep being happy! No reason to fret over nothing

sugarland726 · July 2013

PGAL brain is a biiitch. I went through a similar thing tonight. I called my aunt and emailed my cousins to tell them the news. I wanted to throw up! I can't take back those words now. But for crying out loud, I'm almost 40% through with my pregnancy. It would be nice if I would ever get comfortable with the news and, like you said, actually believe that we will have a baby in 6 month's time.

growingmybun · July 2013

I had a loss, then my son was born, so I've seen it play out both ways. It gets easier as time goes on and next pregnancy if you go that route will be even a little easier.

lovinglife13 · July 2013

cpm1223:
Just a vent: So now that I'm further along than I had gotten before when I had my loss, I'm starting to let myself get excited. I'm starting to feel like I might actually have a baby in January. I just spent an hour on the phone talking baby stuff with my mom. I bought some super on sale clothes at target today. Of course now I'm a bit of a wreck. I used the Doppler and found the hb easily but I'm still so worried that this will all be pulled out from under my feet and something will go wrong. I'm worried that we will find something horrible at the a/s in a few weeks or that something will go wrong even later down the road. Ugh this pgal brain is a pain in my butt! I know better than to think that I could jinx this by buying items or being excited, but I can't turn off my brain from thinking the worst. Thanks for letting me vent...sorry this got so long.

Sorry I can't relate, I haven't had a loss before, but I can only image how this could be so hard. All I can say is YAY for your little bean, and that is so exciting everything is going so well. Hang in there, you are so strong momma!

mamezcua9015 · July 2013

sugarland726:
PGAL brain is a biiitch. I went through a similar thing tonight. I called my aunt and emailed my cousins to tell them the news. I wanted to throw up! I can't take back those words now. But for crying out loud, I'm almost 40 through with my pregnancy. It would be nice if I would ever get comfortable with the news and, like you said, actually believe that we will have a baby in 6 month's time.

I'm a first time mom, I felt the same way yesterday when I told a few family members. I still feel uncomfortable sharing the news on fb or friends. Yesterday, I thought I had the courage to but backed out. Lol my husband want to wait until we find out what we are having before spreading the word. I just want to know everything is going great!

COgirl29 · July 2013

What does pgal mean?

LittleMommaBlueHen · July 2013

I hear you! I thought PGAL brain would get easier the further I go t away from my loss milestone, but instead I feel like I am volleying between super excited about baby in January and terrified that something has gone or will go wrong. Hopefully it'll get progressively easier and the excitement will be able to kick PGAL brain to the curb. Hang in there!

LittleMommaBlueHen · July 2013

COgirl29:
What does pgal mean?

Pregnant after a loss/pregnancy after a loss

gingerbabe · July 2013

I fear losing this pg and I've never even had a loss before, so I can only imagine how awful it is for you. I just have so many friends that have had one or more m/c that I feel it's inevitable to happen to me at some point. But I'm trying not to worry now that I'm 14 weeks and heard the HB again at my appointment yesterday.

May this be your rainbow baby!

Oh, also, you mentioned buying clothes, do you know the gender already or did you get gender neutral stuff?

cpm1223 · July 2013

gingerbabe:
I fear losing this pg and I've never even had a loss before, so I can only imagine how awful it is for you. I just have so many friends that have had one or more m/c that I feel it's inevitable to happen to me at some point. nbsp;But I'm trying not to worry now that I'm 14 weeks and heard the HB again at my appointment yesterday.nbsp;May this be your rainbow baby!Oh, also, you mentioned buying clothes, do you know the gender already or did you get gender neutral stuff?nbsp;

Gender neutral. We won't be finding out the sex until I give birth so it's all I'll be buying! There's some really cute neutral stuff out there thankfully!

cpm1223 · July 2013

Thank you all for understanding and letting me know that I'm not alone!

Deblondie1 · July 2013

Righ there with you. I just bought a bunch of new maternity clothes and now I feel like I'm tempting fate. I have no reason to believe something is wrong but the 'what if' is still in the back of my mind.

Hang in there!

alinafed · July 2013

A bit behind but just wanted to say I think all Pgal ladies can relate. I'm sure you will only feel better and better as time goes on, and chances are so great now that you will have a baby in January. Getting excited is so scary for everyone but like you said it won't cause anything to go wrong!

jahm64 · July 2013

I feel the same way! We went through so much trying to concieve (3 1/2 years, 4 rounds of IUI and 2 rounds of IVF). Our 1st round of IVF worked, but I miscarried 2 days later. It was super early (only 5 weeks) but it was still so hard. I'm 15 weeks and 6 days now- we just announced to our extended family and friends last week and now I'm so afraid that I've jinxed everything even thought my 1st trimester screening and 12 week ultrasound looked great and the heart rate at my 14 week appointment looked great. I haven't been sick at all, and I wish I could just enjoy my pregnancy but after everything we've gone through to get to this point I'm afraid of it all going away.

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