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August 2012 Moms
CrazyDaisy8
member
FFFC
CrazyDaisy8
member
This discussion has been closed.
Re: FFFC
H asked for sex last night and I said AF was still in town.
I spent all last night checking Howell's breathing. He faceplanted at the baby pool and more or less submerged. He didn't even cough when he came out because he's used to dunking at swim class but I was still worried about delayed drowning. He's still alive and I need coffee.
I do this every month!
It's actually for running, but still...
Aaaaaanyways, back to the old ex. The MFer. Some days I just want to stab him in the face. Flameful? Yup.
Now that we're working on an arrears balance of oh, let's say 14k dollars and growing every month, Mr. Wonderful decides to take his "wife" on their honeymoon last week. But they've been married 6 years?
:: roll eyes left:: :: roll eyes right ::
We've gotten 2 partial payments for child support since we drug his butt to court the end of February.
We even moved closer to this doucheyachtclub when we moved out into the country. How many times has he seen the kids since we moved here? DSzero, DD1 day. In 3 months.
Flameful part, IDGAF anymore. I wish my kids had a dad who cared enough to support them financially or even cared about visiting with them. I wish my DH was their Dad and secretly, I think my kids do too.
I'm thinking about going to see my attorney next week and asking if she'll draft him a letter petitioning him to give up his parental rights and waive his obligation to pay current child support and arrears. Am I a POS for even considering this? My DH has mentioned adoption on more than one occasion. I feel like we are getting nowhere with this guy. It's a constant state of turmoil that I'd like to put behind all of us.
It's not the money anymore. It's about my 15 year old sitting in my car listening to the radio and me catching him crying, every now and again. It's about my 10 year old daughter wishing she had a Daddy who could take her fishing and to the father daughter dance.
You know what they say?
If nothing changes, nothing changes.
Am I thinking about this all wrong? Is it me who needs the attitude adjustment? Sorry to dump this in a FFFC. This post just got out of hand in a hurry....
I told my mum I was going to do this, but for walking/jogging lol. She gave me the weirdest look lol
Mel, your XH is the biggest douchecanoe I have recently heard of. If I were in your position I would petition for him to give up his parental rights too.
What an effing twat.
Now I am just mad for your kiddos. ugh. I hate hearing about deadbeat dads that don't care one way or another if they see their kids or not. The only people that get truly hurt in that scenario are the kids.
ugh. *fuming*
Potty training was the first and scariest thought that came to my mind when I was 99 sure I was having a boy.
FWIW - my "father" is a POS. He didn't pay child support, he borrowed money off of me (the oldest) so he could actually do the things he'd promised to do with the 3 of us - then never paid me back, he stole money from my college fund. (We later found out it was for his drug addiction) But I used to be the daughter wishing my dad would take me fishing or to a father daughter dance. And I tried and tried and was let down time and time again. But it is true, he is the way he is and he won't change. So I put the ball in my court and I told him I didn't want to see him anymore. That was years ago and I prefer this much more. Now I'm not getting my hopes up and then disappointed when he doesn't follow through. He wasn't invited to my wedding and won't be in Bella's life.
I was older when my parents split up but he was still a POS when they were together who let me down time and time again. It's tough. I think it is awesome and they are so lucky to have your DH as a real father figure. And since he wants to be in that role, let him. Have him take your daughter fishing. Have him do things with your son. My brother was that age when my parents split and he just wanted a guy to do things with (mind you he was the middle of two girls living with his mum but still). And (as I'm sure you both are already doing) make them feel loved. Loved and supported. Talk to them. Don't bash your ex (as hard as that can be) just say I'm sorry Daddy doesn't come and see you. How does that make you feel etc. I used to write letters, poems, journal entries about this stuff. Sometimes I sent them to him, sometimes I didn't. But it's better to get the feelings out.
Ok... I might be rambling, so I'm going to go. POINT BEING YOU ARE AWESOME AND IT IS NOT FLAMEFUL TO LOVE AND WANT WHAT IS BEST FOR YOUR KIDS!!! *HUGS*
First off, Mel, in no known universe are you possibly a POS, jerk, or even ninnymuffin. Your ex is a tool, and you are doing everything you can to do right by your kids. You are doing a great job, and you should know that.
My FFC: I'm baffled by religion. I don't understand how people can be religious. Let me clarify, I don't mean that in a sh!tty, "ugh, how can you EVEN BELIEVE THAT" kind of way. I mean that I genuinely can't get my head around it because I am so far from religious, and have been for most of my life. It's like how a giraffe would have a hard time imagining how to be a dolphin. Sometimes I think it would be nice to be religious, because there's so much comfort to be found there...but my brain just does not work that way. I'd be faking it the whole time.
I will say, though, the religious people here (with one notable exception...) have been far and away the nicest and most reasonable I've ever come across. I mean, every Mormon I've ever known has been a huge pile of happy, but aside from that I've mostly known a bunch of high-pressure salesman types, KWIM? Anyway, you guys are nice and I like you. :-)
That was...rambling at best. My bad.
My FFFC is along the same lines. I'm a teacher so I have the summer off but I'm still take DS to daycare a couple days a week to get caught up on housework and work on things for the next school year. If DH was home it might be different but since I'm flying solo, it's the only time I'm going to be able to keep up.
Mel, you're not a POS. I think it's awesome that your DH wants to adopt your kids and I fully support you going that route.
More FFFC:
Car washes make me anxious. I got my car washed today and I thought I was going to throw up. I'm nervous I won't get my tires on the track like I'm supposed to; I don't like that I can't see; and I then I'm nervous I'll get off the track.
I took DS to daycare a little earlier than I have been this summer in hopes of me getting some things done before I see my couselor today ... I'm on FB and TB ...
I had another one but I can't remember it.
I'm feeling all sorts of feelings I SHOULDN'T feel. My FFFC is perhaps I'm not as OK as I thought I was.
Feeling 1:
I feel sad I didn't run into my ex-stepdad while in my hometown. It's been a year since I've talked to him, over a year since I've seen him. I want him to care I exist and I want him to care I've had DD and she's perfect. It's harder since my siblings still have relationships with him. He actually invited both of my siblings over at different times for dinner while I was in town. It made me sad he didn't get over himself and at least try to reach out to me. I wouldn't have gone, but that's not the point.
Feeling 2:
I feel jealousy (I think that's what it is) that DSS's bio-mom held DD for 20 minutes while I was at girls' happy hour. We forced her to at least see DSS on Wednesday by driving to her house after she'd been off work. We didn't want anything to come back on us related to the custody order. When we were leaving, she kissed DD while in her car seat. I was NOT happy. That's weird since we aren't even CLOSE to being friends. She spent more time saying bye to DD than DSS.
She asked to see DSS again yesterday (and was 45 minutes so only got 30 minutes). DH drove him way the heck out to where she lives while I was doing the happy hour thing. According to DH, she took DD out of her car seat while he was getting DSS out of his booster. She then carried DD to the backyard and sat with her, playing and cuddling, for over half of the time she SHOULD have been spending with DSS - all the time talking about how she wanted another baby and deserved a daughter since she'd had 3 boys already.
My first reaction was cut-a-b!tch. She's NOT your kid and you don't just kiss her, grab her, or snuggle her. We AREN'T family. We AREN'T friends. We are BARELY acquaintances. Why don't you spend time with your OWN kid that I raise and already have to "share" when I do all the heavy lifting? <-- I have issues with this as it is. My second reaction was actually jealousy. I reverted back to "I shouldn't have left DD" because if I'd been there, she wouldn't have gotten to enjoy DD since I wouldn't have hogged her. She's MY daughter and that should have been MY time and those should have been MY cuddles. My third reaction was p!ssed at DH for allowing it. However, he really didn't think I'd feel the way I do since I've had no problem with friends and family spending oodles of time with her.
I am right there with both of you ladies! My thinking is along the lines of "whatever gets you through the day" if that's religion, good for you. Just don't try to impose your beliefs on me or my family.
DH has a degree in religious studies so I do find religion fascinating. Especially Mormonism. No clue why.
MandaKay: I'm scared of the carwash, too! Cheerilee: I totally get why you're pissed about DSS's bio mom holding your DD. I would just tell YH that in the future you don't want her to hold, kiss, etc DD since you're not friends or family.
RJ I'm so sorry that your dad treated you that way. Bless your heart. Thank you for supporting at least my feelings on the matter. Whether whatever I want to happen legally actually happens or not.
Thanks "all you guys" for validating my feelings. I think you make me happy cry on a weekly basis lately. I swear in Jesus Name, I'd throw all of you a party in my great big mansion and wear a "Helen" dress while I personally refresh your drinks.
AggieLove, it took me a long time to wrap my head around it. Religion. Long time. I'll admit, I lost my faith for a few years and fell into a scary place.
A very wise pastor told me something one day that never left me. I said to him, "You know, Preacher, it's easy for you to have faith because you know so much about this stuff. I mean, how can I have faith when I'm such a mess? How do I know that I chose the right religion? I don't want to give my all to a religion and just go to hell anyway."
He said, " It's simple. Faith cometh by hearing."
Read, listen, study, reflect.
Remember the greatest of all virtues is love. You got that down pat and to me, that's a beautiful start, sister.
I really PPHY guys....
I just wanted to say that I am truly sorry you have to deal with all this. You should be able to brag about your kid! *hugs*
Me too!!! Seriously, I think it would be fun!
This this all of this. Mel, those kids are better off with DH than douchenozzle ex!! I doubt he would even put up a fight because he is that big if a shitbag.
When I was in high school, we would go to the Olive Garden [yes, I've been inside an Olive Garden!] and take turns having a birthday so we could have cake.
C, I would feel the EXACT same way. I want to cut her. People like her make me feel violent. She needs punched in the fcuking throat.
That's all. Hugs, doll.
I'm right there with you. Lets play bumper cars with the bodies.....
...too far? Sorry
This is about seventy five different kinds of wrong! If H told me I wasn't allowed to watch Ellen, I would watch all day long. I'd DVR it so he could be home to witness it. I'd wear Ellen Show tee shirts and drink out of an Ellen coffee cup. Hell, I'd buy him an Ellen coffee cup.
Does FIL not watch Jody Foster movies either? What about Neil Patrick Harris? David Hyde Pierce, Rupert Everett, Nathan Lane [although who does like Nathan Lane?]? Half of Hollywood is LGBT.
Mmmm, twix....I especially love peanut butter twix.
Were you successful in your bathroom attempts? Or is it time for the prunes??
I also don't understand religion and believing in a higher power and believing that some guy in the sky will take care of everything if I just "put it in his hands". I sometimes find myself thinking I'd be a happier person if I could believe in it.... but I also have questions like, why WHY would God let something like... 19 firefighters die in a wildfire... or let 3 people die in a marathon bombing.... or thousands of children die in a school shooting? If he can cure and answer prayers, why can't he stop a crazy person from going in a school and shooting up the place or stop a wildfire from killing heroes?
My BF had her little girl yesterday morning. She wanted to try her best to go natural and she did! I'm so proud of her! But I couldn't help but feel a little twinge of jealousy when she told me her labor was only 5 hours long.
Then I got mad at myself for thinking that ANY birth is anything short of an amazingly difficult task.
Brandy, how could you see in my brain? I feel the exact same way. I was raised in a religious household and I guess I just never bought into it. I am fascinated by people who have faith and I guess I'm just a faithless person. It's kind of sad because I've lost a few family members recently in separate, tragic ways, and I don't believe I am going to see them again. That makes losing them even worse.
I'm kind of jealous of people who believe so wholeheartedly into something, but I can't even pretend to follow.
I may require your cutting services... I just realized she most likely took pictures of herself with DD... If she did, they'll be on FB. I'm not friends with her so I can't see if this happened. DH said she had her phone out while she was sitting there.
But then there are things that happen that DO make me believe there is a greater power.
For instance, my stepdad passed away from lung cancer on June 28th. A woman about 10 years older than my mom randomly stopped by her house this past Monday. My mom didn't know her, had never seen her. The woman introduced herself and she had the same name as my mother. Her husband, who had the same name as my stepdad, passed away from the same thing 2 weeks prior. Turns out the woman lived a block away. Her sister lives directly in front of my mom, and that's how she found out. As they talked, they discovered they had so much in common including twin grandchildren. If I believed in God, I'd have to say it was a gift from him.
SO was supposed to replace our flood light on the front of our house over a week ago. I even went and bought the light bulb since he was "going to buy it tomorrow" for days. Well now we are on "days" of screwing the darn thing in. I was kind of pissed when I got home yesterday and it wasn't in. He took the baby to the sitter and had all day to himself to do it! I can't reach it even with a ladder, short people problems. Anyway, I wasn't rude but I wasn't nice either. I made myself a light dinner and didn't make him anything. Then I put on horrible TLC bridal shows all night. I wanted some booty but I was to irritated to come off it.
Well this morning, Karma bit me for being passive agressive . . . I dropped my cell phone in a huge cup of hot coffee . . . I have it sitting in rice hoping it will dry out.
I was home nearly three weeks, and didn't take the time to see the IL's. They are the same age as my grandparents. They live in a seniors apartment building, don't drive, ETC. My grandma is 71 Grandpa is 76. They live in their own house (yes they have somebody come mow their lawn, but they have a few acres, and it is too much for my grandpa to do), they live in a bus six months out of the year, in the southern states. I call my Il's and ask if we can come for coffee or something like that. It turns into a day of: needing to get groceries, go to the bank, maybe go out for coffee. It is too hard on me, with the five kids on my own.
DH and I have decided to get a 12 passenger van. I am stupidly excited about it.
. I had been putting off switching everyone's car seats. I will do this when we get home. We are getting a Nisan NV, after lots of research. Roo (Mal's new nickname) is going into a combi cocoro, Eryn into Leah's RXT, Logan into his Foonf, Leah into her prosport (though at nearly six years old, she wants to rear face again.) If we do this, Logan will stay in the RXT he is in now, and Leah will go into the Foonf, and Summer is wanting to go into a booster. We will see how this works. But, I am excited to be able to play with a new van, and too shop for a new seat for Summer.
DSS's biomom hasn't seen him in over a year and calls once every other month or less. I share pictures of him because he is more mine than hers. She gave birth to him but that's it.