FTM's VS. STM's (and beyond)

jmk5287 · July 2013

I thought this would be fun for a lot of us, if it is, maybe we do it once a week. First Time Moms - post any of your questions or concerns here and those of us who have been through one or more pregnancies can try to answer them. Second Time Mom's - Post anything you think it would be valuable for the first timers to know, maybe a birth plan/birth story or just some advice! My advice is to sleep on your back or stomach as much as you can, while you can. I know this seems silly but you never want to do something as bad as when you CAN'T do it anymore.... trust me! AND GO!

Unknown · July 2013

FTM here...what advice can you give about names? Did you have trouble "falling in love with a name"? If you did..how/where did you end up finding the name you used?

jmk5287 · July 2013

lancasbg:
FTM here...what advice can you give about names? Did you have trouble "falling in love with a name"? If you did..how/where did you end up finding the name you used?

We started talking names long before we found out the sex last time. We were set on boy names pretty quick (we had 2) but we couldn't agree on anything for girls. He hated everything I liked and vice versa. We went through so many names on the bump name finder and spent hours and hours and couldn't decide. Before we knew it 20 weeks was here and she was a girl! We still couldn't decide! One night when I was around 28 weeks I was laying in bed and "Brianna" popped into my head. I was instantly in love and remember being terrified for him to shoot it down, I woke him up... told him... and he was in love as well My advice would be to make sure you both like the name, it gets difficult but you will both fall in love with one!

rachelbradley44@hotmail.com · July 2013

GO ON LOTS OF DATES!! I wish I would have taken this advice. Some couples do a really good job of still going on dates after baby is born, but we were not one of those couples. Looking back, we always say we wish we would have taken the time to go to movies, dinners, etc. We're getting better now that little one is 14 months.

Advice on names- I didn't know LOs name for sure until he was born. We had our "top names" list and I thought I knew what his name would be, but ended up changing the middle name once I saw him. It just seemed to fit better. We threw around names the entire 9 months, so don't stress. It'll come to you.

bumpuser9058414 · July 2013

bunnyfungo:
lancasbg:
FTM here...what advice can you give about names? Did you have trouble "falling in love with a name"? If you did..how/where did you end up finding the name you used?
Be prepared to compromise. DH and I have similar tastes, but not the same. We narrowed it down to a list of both of our favorites and then didn't touch it for a while. Taking a break from stressing over it let us go back to the list with a fresh set of eyes and we were able to come to an agreement pretty quickly after that. For the record, I love DD's name (Emilia), but it wasn't the top choice for either of us. And that's ok!

I love the name Emilia. Does she have a nn? My daughter is Mia and I've heard that it's a nickname for Emilia/Amelia.

angelsnight · July 2013

bunnyfungo:
Mine doesn't apply for a while... But, pack your hospital bag early!! Everyone will tell you that as a FTM you'll go late. Ha! The average pregnancy length is 40 weeks. Which means that for every woman that goes into labor at 42 weeks, another one is going into labor at 38 weeks. I was completely unprepared when DD came 3 weeks early because everyone had been saying I'd go late and need an induction. Plenty of women go into spontaneous labor, and packing your hospital bag while you're water is breaking, and making a mess, is no fun lol

I don't know what I am....I guess I am a STM until 22 weeks and can help with questions, and after that I am a FTM.

I second the hospital bag....I am a crazy planner and ended up packing mine (or as much of it that I could) at around 20 weeks and ended up going into labor at 22. Not saying you have to pack it that early, but it doesn't really hurt to pack it early and just stick it in a closet. We didn't end up taking ours since I didn't think I was going to be admitted, but it was so much easier to tell my MIL to grab the bag, and these three things....instead of giving her a list of 12 things that I could come up with off the top of my head.

As for the bag, you really don't need as much stuff as they say. Check your hospital website for a list of the essentials (and so you know what they provide). If you are a jammy person (ie pants/shorts and a top) it's better to just stick with the hospital gown. They can't check you periodically with pants on, using the bedpan would be a nightmare with pants if you've had an epidural and when you're sore and tired, you just won't want to deal with them when actually going to the bathroom either. It's a waste of money to buy a nightgown when you can just wear the free one they provide....not to mention the fact that it will be nasty and someone else can take care of putting it in the wash.

VineyardMel · July 2013

FTMs: SLEEP! Read books! Get your nails done! Stroll around the mall! Go out with friends and with DH! After baby comes you can still do all of those things (well, maybe not sleep), but it's MUCH harder to plan and get away.

My second piece of advice is to not wish the pregnancy away. This is especially hard in the end when you're uncomfortable and so ready to meet them, but pregnancy is short, short, short and watching you stomach dance and just feeling them move around inside is so very special. Enjoy it (after they come out you have to share them!).

ellajune2012 · July 2013

bunnyfungo:
Mine doesn't apply for a while... But, pack your hospital bag early!! Everyone will tell you that as a FTM you'll go late. Ha! The average pregnancy length is 40 weeks. Which means that for every woman that goes into labor at 42 weeks, another one is going into labor at 38 weeks. I was completely unprepared when DD came 3 weeks early because everyone had been saying I'd go late and need an induction. Plenty of women go into spontaneous labor, and packing your hospital bag while you're water is breaking, and making a mess, is no fun lol

What do you suggest packing?

SmittyPants · July 2013

Names: Google whatever first name you're thinking along with your last name. We were set on naming DD Paige until we googled it with out last name and found out it's also the name of a porn star.

Nickiechan · July 2013

I'm a STM... but I wish someone would have told me that waddling and aches and pains in hips area is NOT normal at 13 weeks. I started waddling at 13 weeks and thought the aches and pains was normal. Pain turned into a severe pain later down the road that I had to be on narcotics. If I would have known about Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction(SPD) before I think I would been able to prevent my severe case and could have saved myself from a lot of pain/stress and bed rest. I would have went to a chiropractor earlier. It wasn't until I went into pre-term labor at 27 weeks did the OB tell me that my skeletal structure was the blame for the pain and looseness in my pelvis. My right hip was so bad that my leg was 3 inches shorter then my other. Bed rest, wheelchair at baby shower and realignment almost every night until they gave me the OK to walk again at 38 weeks. DS came 2 days later... Please if you start to waddle at 13 weeks and have pretty bad pain... talk to you OB/Midwife about it and get to a chiropractor or PT immediately!

jmk5287 · July 2013

bunnyfungo:
ellajune2012:
bunnyfungo:
Mine doesn't apply for a while... But, pack your hospital bag early!!

Everyone will tell you that as a FTM you'll go late. Ha! The average pregnancy length is 40 weeks. Which means that for every woman that goes into labor at 42 weeks, another one is going into labor at 38 weeks. I was completely unprepared when DD came 3 weeks early because everyone had been saying I'd go late and need an induction. Plenty of women go into spontaneous labor, and packing your hospital bag while you're water is breaking, and making a mess, is no fun lol
What do you suggest packing? 
I packed some extra clothes, but just comfy stuff like yoga pants.
I suggest only bringing nursing tanks if you want to BF. I packed nursing bras but then with lactation consultants wanting to watch and everything I ended up sitting topless most of the time lol. At least with a nursing tank you can cover back up quickly. 
Again, if BF, a boppy! 
I packed some comfy boy-cut underwear because of the giant pads you'll have to wear. And I loved the mesh panties they give you at the hospital, I'm not afraid to admit it.
Snacks! Most of the time they won't let you eat, but I made DH sneak me food.
Phone charger
iPad or nook
CAMERA!!! Almost forgot it, seriously lol
I packed bathroom stuff, but I'll be honest, I didn't even shower at the hospital lol 
Something to dress LO in for the way home
Other than that, I didn't need much else. Like angelsnight, I probably packed more than I needed. 
 

And Chapstick!! You will need it!!!

jmk5287 · July 2013

rachelbradley44hotmail.com:
GO ON LOTS OF DATES!!nbsp;nbsp; I wish I would have taken this advice. Some couples do a really good job of still going on dates after baby is born, but we were not one of those couples.nbsp; Looking back, we always say we wish we would have taken the time to go to movies, dinners, etc.nbsp; We're getting better now that little one is 14 months.nbsp;Advice on namesnbsp; I didn't know LOs name for sure until he was born.nbsp; We had our "top names" list and I thought I knew what his name would be, but ended up changing the middle name once I saw him.nbsp; It just seemed to fit better. We threw around names the entire 9 months, so don't stress. It'll come to you.

I wish we did more dates too!!

jmk5287 · July 2013

I also should have taken more bump pics. We should start bump pic Wednesday once we all feel like showing off something other than bloat!!!

angelsnight · July 2013

lancasbg:
FTM here...what advice can you give about names? Did you have trouble "falling in love with a name"? If you did..how/where did you end up finding the name you used?

We had our names picked before we were even pregnant, but that doesn't mean we didn't run into conflict. MH told me on our second date (yes, second date, 6 years ago) that he wanted to name his daughter Kayla someday.

While I did like this name well enough, I didn't LOVE it. But after referring to our fictional child as Kayla for six years, it grew on me. However as much as I did like it, I was wacthing The Corpse Bride (imagine explaining that to LO someday) and fell in love with the name Emily.

However when it came down to it, I decided my husband was head over heels in love with the name Kayla more than I disliked it, so Kayla it was. Unfortunately she didn't make it, and I feel bad that the name MH loved for years didn't get to get used in the way we thought it would, but when she was born we both decided it was her name...changing it then felt just as weird as changing one of our names.

So if we have another girl, it will be Emily. For a boy, I love classic, traditional names. Many boy names I like the full name, but not the nn. But with Joseph, I love all versions (Joe, Joey). There is also family signifigance since my brother and FIL are both Joe, and my dad is sort of Joe (goes by his mn).

Don't try to fall in love with a name you just aren't in love with and don't try to make your H do the same. You've got plenty of time, you never know where inspiration will hit you (ie Corpse Bride).

Nickiechan · July 2013

jmk5287:
bunnyfungo:
ellajune2012:
bunnyfungo:
Mine doesn't apply for a while... But, pack your hospital bag early!! Everyone will tell you that as a FTM you'll go late. Ha! The average pregnancy length is 40 weeks. Which means that for every woman that goes into labor at 42 weeks, another one is going into labor at 38 weeks. I was completely unprepared when DD came 3 weeks early because everyone had been saying I'd go late and need an induction. Plenty of women go into spontaneous labor, and packing your hospital bag while you're water is breaking, and making a mess, is no fun lol
What do you suggest packing?
I packed some extra clothes, but just comfy stuff like yoga pants.
I suggest only bringing nursing tanks if you want to BF. I packed nursing bras but then with lactation consultants wanting to watch and everything I ended up sitting topless most of the time lol. At least with a nursing tank you can cover back up quickly.
Again, if BF, a boppy!
I packed some comfy boy-cut underwear because of the giant pads you'll have to wear. And I loved the mesh panties they give you at the hospital, I'm not afraid to admit it.
Snacks! Most of the time they won't let you eat, but I made DH sneak me food.
Phone charger
iPad or nook
CAMERA!!! Almost forgot it, seriously lol
I packed bathroom stuff, but I'll be honest, I didn't even shower at the hospital lol
Something to dress LO in for the way home
Other than that, I didn't need much else. Like angelsnight, I probably packed more than I needed.

And Chapstick!! You will need it!!!

We bought a birthing ball to our hospital and I labored on that thing for HOURS... It was the best tool that we brought...

huskymomma94 · July 2013

Start taking a daily stool softener in the 3rd tri...Keep taking it for a few weeks after giving birth. Trust me.

jmk5287 · July 2013

bunnyfungo:
Nickiechan:
jmk5287:
bunnyfungo:
ellajune2012:
bunnyfungo:
Mine doesn't apply for a while... But, pack your hospital bag early!!

Everyone will tell you that as a FTM you'll go late. Ha! The average pregnancy length is 40 weeks. Which means that for every woman that goes into labor at 42 weeks, another one is going into labor at 38 weeks. I was completely unprepared when DD came 3 weeks early because everyone had been saying I'd go late and need an induction. Plenty of women go into spontaneous labor, and packing your hospital bag while you're water is breaking, and making a mess, is no fun lol
What do you suggest packing? 
I packed some extra clothes, but just comfy stuff like yoga pants.
I suggest only bringing nursing tanks if you want to BF. I packed nursing bras but then with lactation consultants wanting to watch and everything I ended up sitting topless most of the time lol. At least with a nursing tank you can cover back up quickly. 
Again, if BF, a boppy! 
I packed some comfy boy-cut underwear because of the giant pads you'll have to wear. And I loved the mesh panties they give you at the hospital, I'm not afraid to admit it.
Snacks! Most of the time they won't let you eat, but I made DH sneak me food.
Phone charger
iPad or nook
CAMERA!!! Almost forgot it, seriously lol
I packed bathroom stuff, but I'll be honest, I didn't even shower at the hospital lol 
Something to dress LO in for the way home
Other than that, I didn't need much else. Like angelsnight, I probably packed more than I needed. 
 

And Chapstick!! You will need it!!!
We bought a birthing ball to our hospital and I labored on that thing for HOURS... It was the best tool that we brought...
Wait. You had to bring your own?? My hospital had them already.
But I agree. The birthing ball was awesome! As was the tub!! 

I wish I could have experienced these things!!! I love hearing people's birth stories! I have never heard 2 of the same!

ellajune2012 · July 2013

bunnyfungo:
Nickiechan:
jmk5287:
bunnyfungo:
ellajune2012:
bunnyfungo:
Mine doesn't apply for a while... But, pack your hospital bag early!! Everyone will tell you that as a FTM you'll go late. Ha! The average pregnancy length is 40 weeks. Which means that for every woman that goes into labor at 42 weeks, another one is going into labor at 38 weeks. I was completely unprepared when DD came 3 weeks early because everyone had been saying I'd go late and need an induction. Plenty of women go into spontaneous labor, and packing your hospital bag while you're water is breaking, and making a mess, is no fun lol
What do you suggest packing?
I packed some extra clothes, but just comfy stuff like yoga pants.
I suggest only bringing nursing tanks if you want to BF. I packed nursing bras but then with lactation consultants wanting to watch and everything I ended up sitting topless most of the time lol. At least with a nursing tank you can cover back up quickly.
Again, if BF, a boppy!
I packed some comfy boy-cut underwear because of the giant pads you'll have to wear. And I loved the mesh panties they give you at the hospital, I'm not afraid to admit it.
Snacks! Most of the time they won't let you eat, but I made DH sneak me food.
Phone charger
iPad or nook
CAMERA!!! Almost forgot it, seriously lol
I packed bathroom stuff, but I'll be honest, I didn't even shower at the hospital lol
Something to dress LO in for the way home
Other than that, I didn't need much else. Like angelsnight, I probably packed more than I needed.

And Chapstick!! You will need it!!!
We bought a birthing ball to our hospital and I labored on that thing for HOURS... It was the best tool that we brought...
Wait. You had to bring your own?? My hospital had them already.
But I agree. The birthing ball was awesome! As was the tub!!

Thanks ladies! AND I can see needing chapstick. I probably used half my Burt's Bees stick last year after my surgery.

jmk5287 · July 2013

huskymomma94:
Start taking a daily stool softener in the 3rd tri...Keep taking it for a few weeks after giving birth. Trust me.nbsp;

So true!!!

jmk5287 · July 2013

Nickiechan:
I'm a STM... but I wish someone would have told me that waddling and aches and pains in hips area is NOT normal at 13 weeks. I started waddling at 13 weeks and thought the aches and pains was normal. Pain turned into a severe pain later down the road that I had to be on narcotics. If I would have known about Symphysis Pubis DysfunctionSPD before I think I would been able to prevent my severe case and could have saved myself from a lot of pain/stress and bed rest. I would have went to a chiropractor earlier. It wasn't until I went into preterm labor at 27 weeks did the OB tell me that my skeletal structure was the blame for the pain and looseness in my pelvis. My right hip was so bad that my leg was 3 inches shorter then my other. Bed rest, wheelchair at baby shower and realignment almost every night until they gave me the OK to walk again at 38 weeks. DS came 2 days later... Please if you start to waddle at 13 weeks and have pretty bad pain... talk to you OB/Midwife about it and get to a chiropractor or PT immediately!

I had this as well! I was on bed rest at 22 weeks. They already told me it will probably happen again : have they told you anything yet?

Bonnesetter27 · July 2013

My advice would be to watch/read happiest baby on the block. My pedi showed us the5 s's in her office when ds was about a week old and it was amazing. Also trust your instincts. My lo was dehydrated (because I didn't have enough milk/colostrum) but when they sent me home they told me to give him 40 cc's of formula after each feeding. I felt like I was starving him and I was. Don't do things just because the doctors say do it one way, you really need to believe in your instincts.

I'm no help on names. We had ours picked for years. Now we have to decide on a boys name.

Oh and for the hospital bag pack a robe. Be sure it is one you don't mind getting rid of but it helps to have it on over the hospital gown. And wear the mesh panties, they're amazing.

Nickiechan · July 2013

bunnyfungo:
Nickiechan:
jmk5287:
bunnyfungo:
ellajune2012:
bunnyfungo:
Mine doesn't apply for a while... But, pack your hospital bag early!! Everyone will tell you that as a FTM you'll go late. Ha! The average pregnancy length is 40 weeks. Which means that for every woman that goes into labor at 42 weeks, another one is going into labor at 38 weeks. I was completely unprepared when DD came 3 weeks early because everyone had been saying I'd go late and need an induction. Plenty of women go into spontaneous labor, and packing your hospital bag while you're water is breaking, and making a mess, is no fun lol
What do you suggest packing?
I packed some extra clothes, but just comfy stuff like yoga pants.
I suggest only bringing nursing tanks if you want to BF. I packed nursing bras but then with lactation consultants wanting to watch and everything I ended up sitting topless most of the time lol. At least with a nursing tank you can cover back up quickly.
Again, if BF, a boppy!
I packed some comfy boy-cut underwear because of the giant pads you'll have to wear. And I loved the mesh panties they give you at the hospital, I'm not afraid to admit it.
Snacks! Most of the time they won't let you eat, but I made DH sneak me food.
Phone charger
iPad or nook
CAMERA!!! Almost forgot it, seriously lol
I packed bathroom stuff, but I'll be honest, I didn't even shower at the hospital lol
Something to dress LO in for the way home
Other than that, I didn't need much else. Like angelsnight, I probably packed more than I needed.

And Chapstick!! You will need it!!!
We bought a birthing ball to our hospital and I labored on that thing for HOURS... It was the best tool that we brought...
Wait. You had to bring your own?? My hospital had them already.
But I agree. The birthing ball was awesome! As was the tub!!

Yes sadly I did... but the care at the hospital went above and beyond my expectations!

Nickiechan · July 2013

jmk5287:
Nickiechan:
I'm a STM... but I wish someone would have told me that waddling and aches and pains in hips area is NOT normal at 13 weeks. I started waddling at 13 weeks and thought the aches and pains was normal. Pain turned into a severe pain later down the road that I had to be on narcotics. If I would have known about Symphysis Pubis DysfunctionSPD before I think I would been able to prevent my severe case and could have saved myself from a lot of pain/stress and bed rest. I would have went to a chiropractor earlier. It wasn't until I went into preterm labor at 27 weeks did the OB tell me that my skeletal structure was the blame for the pain and looseness in my pelvis. My right hip was so bad that my leg was 3 inches shorter then my other. Bed rest, wheelchair at baby shower and realignment almost every night until they gave me the OK to walk again at 38 weeks. DS came 2 days later... Please if you start to waddle at 13 weeks and have pretty bad pain... talk to you OB/Midwife about it and get to a chiropractor or PT immediately!
I had this as well! I was on bed rest at 22 weeks. They already told me it will probably happen again : have they told you anything yet?

Sigh... Yes they said that I will most likely get it with the second, but I am 15lbs lighter, and have been going to the gym regularly with leg/hip adduction and abduction. I am also planning on seeing a chiropractor, since I didn't find relief with PT and only did I find it after DS was born and the SPD lingered and I got a readjustment. I'm hoping to prolong it as much as possible. I don't know how we are going to do it with a toddler... that was one of the hesitate of DH before we started trying. It put so much pressure on him since i was pretty much disabled for 2 months... It was very depressing and stressful.

legallyginger · July 2013

SmittyPants:
Names: Google whatever first name you're thinking along with your last name. We were set on naming DD Paige until we googled it with out last name and found out it's also the name of a porn star.nbsp;nbsp;

Holy crap, thank God you googled that. I didn't even think to do that. Good tip! I can't imagine accidentally naming your kid Jenna Jameson or something. Oy.

jmk5287 · July 2013

Nickiechan:
jmk5287:
Nickiechan:
I'm a STM... but I wish someone would have told me that waddling and aches and pains in hips area is NOT normal at 13 weeks. I started waddling at 13 weeks and thought the aches and pains was normal. Pain turned into a severe pain later down the road that I had to be on narcotics. If I would have known about Symphysis Pubis DysfunctionSPD before I think I would been able to prevent my severe case and could have saved myself from a lot of pain/stress and bed rest. I would have went to a chiropractor earlier. It wasn't until I went into preterm labor at 27 weeks did the OB tell me that my skeletal structure was the blame for the pain and looseness in my pelvis. My right hip was so bad that my leg was 3 inches shorter then my other. Bed rest, wheelchair at baby shower and realignment almost every night until they gave me the OK to walk again at 38 weeks. DS came 2 days later... Please if you start to waddle at 13 weeks and have pretty bad pain... talk to you OB/Midwife about it and get to a chiropractor or PT immediately!
I had this as well! I was on bed rest at 22 weeks. They already told me it will probably happen again : have they told you anything yet?
Sigh... Yes they said that I will most likely get it with the second, but I am 15lbs lighter, and have been going to the gym regularly with leg/hip adduction and abduction. I am also planning on seeing a chiropractor, since I didn't find relief with PT and only did I find it after DS was born and the SPD lingered and I got a readjustment. I'm hoping to prolong it as much as possible. I don't know how we are going to do it with a toddler... that was one of the hesitate of DH before we started trying. It put so much pressure on him since i was pretty much disabled for 2 months... It was very depressing and stressful.

We were hesitant as well. I am hoping everything I have done between now and then can prevent it from happening, at least as early this time. But DH keeps reminding me that he is capable of taking care of DD and I, and that I need to focus on baby.... easier said then done! However, he is right. It will all work out and we will get a beautiful blessing in the end again!

galore5 · July 2013

lancasbg:
FTM here...what advice can you give about names? Did you have trouble "falling in love with a name"? If you did..how/where did you end up finding the name you used?

Just pick something you both like. No matter what you choose, the kid will "become" that name and you will love it. I think the idea that you can't name the baby until you see them is a little nuts. In the crazy joyful moments that occur after birth you just figure out which name you really preferred and the baby "becomes" that name.
People will tell you " we were going to name her Jennifer, but when she was born she 'seemed' liked an Alexis." Guess what... Mama liked Alexis all along.

galore5 · July 2013

VineyardMel:
FTMs: SLEEP! Read books! Get your nails done! Stroll around the mall! Go out with friends and with DH! After baby comes you can still do all of those things well, maybe not sleep, but it's MUCH harder to plan and get away.nbsp;My second piece of advice is to not wish the pregnancy away. This is especially hard in the end when you're uncomfortable and so ready to meet them, but pregnancy is short, short, short and watching you stomach dance and just feeling them move around inside is so very special. Enjoy it after they come out you have to share them!.nbsp;

I second this entirely! Enjoy it all. You want so badly for time to fly, but it will all happen so fast. Don't miss it.

I going to try really hard to enjoy it more this time

BabyCodd2014 · July 2013

Great idea! I could use all the help I can get! Lol

FTM here btw; Wondering how all you STMs dealt with the stress that comes with the financial aspects of a baby?

JerseyBella · July 2013

My advice for FTM is don't skimp on gear. I found I decided to go with cheaper versions of things and ended up buying the better ones after. Also the I can't recommend the Snugabunny swing enough. It was truly a life saver.

JerseyBella · July 2013

BabyCodd2014:
Great idea! I could use all the help I can get! Lol FTM here btw; Wondering how all you STMs dealt with the stress that comes with the financial aspects of a baby?

You just adapt. Lot' s of couponing and shopping around. At first it seems like such a pain but then you know and it gets to be second nature. Save what you can when you can and just enjoy life. Don't stress over money.

Nickiechan · July 2013

BabyCodd2014:
Great idea! I could use all the help I can get! Lol FTM here btw; Wondering how all you STMs dealt with the stress that comes with the financial aspects of a baby?

My DH is a huge planner and very frugal so before we got pregnant with our first we where already savings... I can understand the stress, but it does work out. We never lived beyond our means. We refinanced our home to bring down our bills and also paid off our one car ahead of schedule. However, my student loans is what really crippled us but there is an option to defer them, but we didn't because we didn't want all that extra interest. I took 6 months unpaid leave with my son and even went part time after that for about a year and half before coming back full time here in February. Start saving now and buy items slowly throughout your pregnancy. Also do yard sale or consignment. Most of all DS clothing is used. We are having financial stress now because DH got let go from his job... so he is trying to find another so I can take 6 months unpaid again, but I'm not sure if we will be able too this time around. Which makes me sad, but we are a team and we will get through this together. I have all the confidence in the world he will be a great SAHD if he doesn't find work before that.

Nickiechan · July 2013

bunnyfungo:
BabyCodd2014:
Great idea! I could use all the help I can get! Lol FTM here btw; Wondering how all you STMs dealt with the stress that comes with the financial aspects of a baby?
Having a good cry in the shower lol Just try to take it one step at a time. Buy things you'll need over the course of the next 9 months so its not all at once. Make a plan now for childcare, or staying at home. Decide your new budget and start using it before baby gets here. Find ways to save money if you need to. Babies don't need as much as you think they do. DD's favorite toy right now is a spatula! From the kitchen. She could care less for the talking puppy we bought for 40 dollars. I also recommend breast feeding and cloth diapering, but I recognize its not for everyone. It did help us save a lot though.

We also BF and cloth diapers which saved us a TON of money. We made ROI on our diaper stash around 4 months into full time cloth diapers. Also Cloth diapers are not like they use to be. I found out about that on TB. The type we use are BumGenius 4.0 snaps which are pocket diapers and one size (Meaning they can grow with the baby. 8lbs to 35lbs I think). We have 33 of them (you can have less then that.) and 2 wet bags and a diaper sprayer on our toilet. I'm glad we went with all the same but I know some people will debate on this, but this helps with DH with stuffing diapers and our 'rotation' is always the same. I'm pretty OCD and would be like what insert goes to which diaper LOL... DS has the same diaper on now as he had when he was an infant.

babylimas · July 2013

That's hilarious about google. I just googled my daughter's name and got a page full of obituaries. Apparently she has an old lady name!

My advice - don't buy Baby Bargains b/c then your husband will read it and get angry when you buy maternity clothes b/c the evil authors said that you could get by your entire pregnancy w/ only $50 of maternity clothes.

But seriously, buy it. Best book I used all pregnancy. Full of reviews for every piece of gear under the sun.

Nickiechan · July 2013

babylimas:
That's hilarious about google. I just googled my daughter's name and got a page full of obituaries. Apparently she has an old lady name!
My advice - don't buy Baby Bargains b/c then your husband will read it and get angry when you buy maternity clothes b/c the evil authors said that you could get by your entire pregnancy w/ only $50 of maternity clothes.
But seriously, buy it. Best book I used all pregnancy. Full of reviews for every piece of gear under the sun.

I bought most of my maternity clothing off of eBay because some of the consignment stores never had my size, and found great deals and my size on there.

Purelife21 · July 2013

lancasbg:
FTM here...what advice can you give about names? Did you have trouble "falling in love with a name"? If you did..how/where did you end up finding the name you used?

My husband and I are ridiculously methodical people. The way we went about it is that I made a long list of names that I liked (about 30-40 for each gender...he contributed maybe 3 total, lol), then he went over the lists and nixed all the ones he didn't like. This knocked the lists down to about 20-25 names each. We then made a spreadsheet that took into account each name's popularity, meaning, possible nns, and compatability with our DD's name and our LN. Within about half an hour, we had a our top 5 names for each gender, and we've since narrowed it down to 2 or 3. Worked like a charm for us and I now sleep better at night :-)

angelsnight · July 2013

huskymomma94:
Start taking a daily stool softener in the 3rd tri...Keep taking it for a few weeks after giving birth. Trust me.

Actually I recommend starting one soon (Colace). My constipation started around 6 or 7 weeks last time and it was horrible until I started on the Colace.

I would start one now, but I'm kind of having the opposit bathroom issue right now. Not sure if this is a new pregnancy symptom or if it's still from the metformin. Once things get a little better in that dept, I hope to make a pre-emptive strike with the Colace and battle the constipation before it begins.

mamathefox · July 2013

bunnyfungo:
BabyCodd2014:
Great idea! I could use all the help I can get! Lol FTM here btw; Wondering how all you STMs dealt with the stress that comes with the financial aspects of a baby?
Having a good cry in the shower lol Just try to take it one step at a time. Buy things you'll need over the course of the next 9 months so its not all at once. Make a plan now for childcare, or staying at home. Decide your new budget and start using it before baby gets here. Find ways to save money if you need to. Babies don't need as much as you think they do. DD's favorite toy right now is a spatula! From the kitchen. She could care less for the talking puppy we bought for 40 dollars. I also recommend breast feeding and cloth diapering, but I recognize its not for everyone. It did help us save a lot though.

DD favorite toys is the spatula too! I hand it to her and call her Spongebob. She loves that thing. Flipping those Krabby Patties~

mcatmay · July 2013

STM mom here - some FTM advice:

Take everything every mother says with a grain of salt. It was THEIR experience. What works for one baby does NOT work for another baby. You will (i guarantee it - i know you don't believe me, but you will) know what your baby needs - you'll try out certain things and find out they do or don't work. You may be blessed with a great sleeper... or not... or a baby that BF well... or not. A baby that loves the swing...or not.

Borrow equipment before you invest - find out if it works for your baby - if it does, awesome, if not, then you won't have spent the money for nothing.

And remember that EVERYONE is an expert on your baby and will be very free at giving you advice on what you should and should not do. Listen, smile politely and then do whatever the hell you want

LolaBelle11 · July 2013

I wish I had brought premie/newborn sized onsies and a couple of the velcro swaddle sacks to the hospital for baby. the shirts they put them in are huge and look so uncomfortable and in the middle of the night, trying to use a regular blanket to swaddle is not easy right after surgery/giving birth.

Also, if you have a csection, stay up on the pain meds. Morphine made me sick, really sick, so I was afraid to take anything and I was miserable until we found the right pain med combo.

Maggie-Moo · July 2013

BabyCodd2014:
Great idea! I could use all the help I can get! Lol FTM here btw; Wondering how all you STMs dealt with the stress that comes with the financial aspects of a baby?

Totally agree with Baby Bargains! I was so happy to learn that most expensive doesn't mean best. You don't need as many clothes as you think, hand me downs and consignment are awesome, and baby doesn't care if its brand name, just that it fits well and is comfy! Later, making baby food is way cheaper and buy diapers and whatever you can in bulk and use coupons! For entertainment, check out what activities (baby and me, etc) are free or cheap in your town, I found a ton and paid for very few outings, but they were still great.

And don't add up everything your child will cost for their entire life or DH will be on their way to get snipped before this one is out!

jmk5287 · July 2013

mcatmay:
STM mom here some FTM advice:Take everything every mother says with a grain of salt. It was THEIR experience. What works for one baby does NOT work for another baby. You will i guarantee it i know you don't believe me, but you will know what your baby needs you'll try out certain things and find out they do or don't work. You may be blessed with a great sleeper... or not... or a baby that BF well... or not. A baby that loves the swing...or not. Borrow equipment before you invest find out if it works for your baby if it does, awesome, if not, then you won't have spent the money for nothing. And remember that EVERYONE is an expert on your baby and will be very free at giving you advice on what you should and should not do. Listen, smile politely and then do whatever the hell you want :nbsp;

I love this! So true!

Want a personalized experience?

FTM's VS. STM's (and beyond)

Re: FTM's VS. STM's (and beyond)

Choose Another Board

Search Boards