Baby shower question

piphigirl · July 2013

Obviously, this is totally unrelated to A12 babies.

But I am afraid of the baby showers board. ;o)

FIL's girlfriend and I are throwing a shower for SIL. She is due in mid-November; the shower will be on a Thursday evening in early October. It's going to be a dessert party and we will put that on the invitation so people don't come hungry for dinner. (I am super, super excited to make tasty and adorable desserts!)

FIL's GF would really like to do a couple of big gifts off the registry. She would like to suggest to people that instead of buying a gift, they chip in so a few large items (i.e. a jogging stroller) can be purchased. She feels this will also limit the 2+ hours of gift opening that went on at SIL's first shower.

I'm not sure that it's okay to put this on an invitation. I don't even like to put registry information on invites, although this seems to have become commonplace now. (My mother did NOT include registry information on my shower invites and therefore people assumed we hadn't registered anywhere. I heard many times, "Since you didn't register, we weren't sure what to buy." That is a different rant, though...)

Do you agree? Can you think of ANY tactful way, other than suggesting this by word of mouth when people call to ask about the registry?

cedenton · July 2013

piphigirl:
Obviously, this is totally unrelated to A12 babies.
But I am afraid of the baby showers board. ;o)
FIL's girlfriend and I are throwing a shower for SIL. She is due in mid-November; the shower will be on a Thursday evening in early October. It's going to be a dessert party and we will put that on the invitation so people don't come hungry for dinner. (I am super, super excited to make tasty and adorable desserts!)
FIL's GF would really like to do a couple of big gifts off the registry. She would like to suggest to people that instead of buying a gift, they chip in so a few large items (i.e. a jogging stroller) can be purchased. She feels this will also limit the 2+ hours of gift opening that went on at SIL's first shower.
I'm not sure that it's okay to put this on an invitation. I don't even like to put registry information on invites, although this seems to have become commonplace now. (My mother did NOT include registry information on my shower invites and therefore people assumed we hadn't registered anywhere. I heard many times, "Since you didn't register, we weren't sure what to buy." That is a different rant, though...)
Do you agree? Can you think of ANY tactful way, other than suggesting this by word of mouth when people call to ask about the registry?

Probably a good thing you didn't post this on the Baby Showers board. LOL

What time in the evening? Do people have time to get off work, eat dinner and then make it to the shower since you aren't providing dinner?

Are there a lot of people with their own kids who are attending and work? I know most working parents don't like to sacrifice their minimal time in the evening.

Why are you having it on a TR instead of the weekend?

I would only say on the invite something like "If you would like to contribute to a group gift, please contact "insert name" at xxx-xxx-xxxx.

Absolutely include registry info. I don't care what the BS board (perfect acronym for them) says, people expect to bring a gift to a baby shower.

ETA: I would provide the group gift statement on the same card you include the registry info on.

bigbootyjudi · July 2013

No, there's no tactful way.

Basically, to me, that says, "Come to my shower, but don't buy me too many things because I'm too lazy to open them all!"

If people want to chip in on a big gift, they will, but if they're told to, I have a pretty good feeling that they purposely wouldn't to prove a point.

thepretzelchick · July 2013

There really isn't a tactful way to say it. Chipping in for a big ticket item is something a group of ladies decide to do among themselves, not something their hostess tells them to do.

However, I don't see including registry information on the shower invitation as rude. For a wedding invitation, it's rude, but for shower invitations, no. Isn't the point of a baby or bridal shower to "shower" the MTB or BTB with gifts?

Mrs. Rohde · July 2013

cedenton:
Probably a good thing you didn't post this on the Baby Showers board. LOL ;What time in the evening? Do people have time to get off work, eat dinner and then make it to the shower since you aren't providing dinner?Are there a lot of people with their own kids who are attending and work? I know most working parents don't like to sacrifice their minimal time in the evening.Why are you having it on a TR instead of the weekend? I would only say on the invite something like "If you would like to contribute to a group gift, please contact "insert name" at xxxxxxxxxx. Absolutely include registry info. I don't care what the BS board perfect acronym for them says, people expect to bring a gift to a baby shower.ETA: I would provide the group gift statement on the same card you include the registry info on.nbsp;

I was also wondering these questions. If its in the evening around dinner time then dinner should be served.
I'd probably just tell a few close friends and or family to go in on a gift instead of asking people on the invite.

bigbootyjudi · July 2013

Also, if I'm going to a shower in the evening, where I'll most likely have to come from work, I would expect dinner.

Registry info on an invite is expected, IMO, not tacky.

Rhomonk · July 2013

thepretzelchick:
There really isn't a tactful way to say it. Chipping in for a big ticket item is something a group of ladies decide to do among themselves, not something their hostess tells them to do.
However, I don't see including registry information on the shower invitation as rude. For a wedding invitation, it's rude, but for shower invitations, no. Isn't the point of a baby or bridal shower to "shower" the MTB or BTB with gifts?

I agree with this!

Amjones52 · July 2013

cedenton:
piphigirl:
Obviously, this is totally unrelated to A12 babies.
But I am afraid of the baby showers board. ;o)
FIL's girlfriend and I are throwing a shower for SIL. She is due in mid-November; the shower will be on a Thursday evening in early October. It's going to be a dessert party and we will put that on the invitation so people don't come hungry for dinner. (I am super, super excited to make tasty and adorable desserts!)
FIL's GF would really like to do a couple of big gifts off the registry. She would like to suggest to people that instead of buying a gift, they chip in so a few large items (i.e. a jogging stroller) can be purchased. She feels this will also limit the 2+ hours of gift opening that went on at SIL's first shower.
I'm not sure that it's okay to put this on an invitation. I don't even like to put registry information on invites, although this seems to have become commonplace now. (My mother did NOT include registry information on my shower invites and therefore people assumed we hadn't registered anywhere. I heard many times, "Since you didn't register, we weren't sure what to buy." That is a different rant, though...)
Do you agree? Can you think of ANY tactful way, other than suggesting this by word of mouth when people call to ask about the registry?
Probably a good thing you didn't post this on the Baby Showers board. LOL
What time in the evening? Do people have time to get off work, eat dinner and then make it to the shower since you aren't providing dinner?
Are there a lot of people with their own kids who are attending and work? I know most working parents don't like to sacrifice their minimal time in the evening.
Why are you having it on a TR instead of the weekend?
I would only say on the invite something like "If you would like to contribute to a group gift, please contact "insert name" at xxx-xxx-xxxx.
Absolutely include registry info. I don't care what the BS board (perfect acronym for them) says, people expect to bring a gift to a baby shower.
ETA: I would provide the group gift statement on the same card you include the registry info on.

i agree with all of this

ccam · July 2013

cedenton:
piphigirl:
Obviously, this is totally unrelated to A12 babies.
But I am afraid of the baby showers board.  ;o)
FIL's girlfriend and I are throwing a shower for SIL.  She is due in mid-November; the shower will be on a Thursday evening in early October.  It's going to be a dessert party and we will put that on the invitation so people don't come hungry for dinner.  (I am super, super excited to make tasty and adorable desserts!)
FIL's GF would really like to do a couple of big gifts off the registry.  She would like to suggest to people that instead of buying a gift, they chip in so a few large items (i.e. a jogging stroller) can be purchased.  She feels this will also limit the 2+ hours of gift opening that went on at SIL's first shower.
I'm not sure that it's okay to put this on an invitation.  I don't even like to put registry information on invites, although this seems to have become commonplace now.  (My mother did NOT include registry information on my shower invites and therefore people assumed we hadn't registered anywhere.  I heard many times, "Since you didn't register, we weren't sure what to buy."  That is a different rant, though...)
Do you agree?  Can you think of ANY tactful way, other than suggesting this by word of mouth when people call to ask about the registry?
Probably a good thing you didn't post this on the Baby Showers board. LOL
What time in the evening? Do people have time to get off work, eat dinner and then make it to the shower since you aren't providing dinner?
Are there a lot of people with their own kids who are attending and work? I know most working parents don't like to sacrifice their minimal time in the evening.
Why are you having it on a TR instead of the weekend?
I would only say on the invite something like "If you would like to contribute to a group gift, please contact "insert name" at xxx-xxx-xxxx.
Absolutely include registry info. I don't care what the BS board (perfect acronym for them) says, people expect to bring a gift to a baby shower.
ETA: I would provide the group gift statement on the same card you include the registry info on.
 

Have to agree with all this.

gracie__r · July 2013

We do group gifts for all our work showers. I realize that is a little different, but I don't think it is a big deal to mention that. I'd say "so-and-so is registered at blah, blah, blah, or if you are interested in contributing to a group gift, please contact..."

I should add though, if I don't know the organizer of the group gift I'd probably pick up my own.

mrs mosby · July 2013

I would put where she is registered but that's it. If people want to go in on a big gift then they will. Or it can be spread by word of mouth. I don't get offended easily but something like that on an invite would rub me the wrong way.

Also, why is it on a Thursday? As a working mom, that is the last thing I want to go to after work. Even though I do love dessert...

AprilAngie · July 2013

cedenton:
piphigirl:
Obviously, this is totally unrelated to A12 babies.
But I am afraid of the baby showers board. ;o)
FIL's girlfriend and I are throwing a shower for SIL. She is due in mid-November; the shower will be on a Thursday evening in early October. It's going to be a dessert party and we will put that on the invitation so people don't come hungry for dinner. (I am super, super excited to make tasty and adorable desserts!)
FIL's GF would really like to do a couple of big gifts off the registry. She would like to suggest to people that instead of buying a gift, they chip in so a few large items (i.e. a jogging stroller) can be purchased. She feels this will also limit the 2+ hours of gift opening that went on at SIL's first shower.
I'm not sure that it's okay to put this on an invitation. I don't even like to put registry information on invites, although this seems to have become commonplace now. (My mother did NOT include registry information on my shower invites and therefore people assumed we hadn't registered anywhere. I heard many times, "Since you didn't register, we weren't sure what to buy." That is a different rant, though...)
Do you agree? Can you think of ANY tactful way, other than suggesting this by word of mouth when people call to ask about the registry?
Probably a good thing you didn't post this on the Baby Showers board. LOL
What time in the evening? Do people have time to get off work, eat dinner and then make it to the shower since you aren't providing dinner?
Are there a lot of people with their own kids who are attending and work? I know most working parents don't like to sacrifice their minimal time in the evening.
Why are you having it on a TR instead of the weekend?
I would only say on the invite something like "If you would like to contribute to a group gift, please contact "insert name" at xxx-xxx-xxxx.
Absolutely include registry info. I don't care what the BS board (perfect acronym for them) says, people expect to bring a gift to a baby shower.
ETA: I would provide the group gift statement on the same card you include the registry info on.

this all of it

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