First off I'd like to apologize for not being able to update sooner. The past week has been a blur, and has been beyond stressful.
I started to write out my entire birth story but realized I didn't want to relive the entirety of it. So I'll just give you guys the highlights.
They started my induction on Wednesday. The OB and my MW had different opinions on what should happen after the doctor found that something wasn't right with the blood flow to the baby and the fluid still wasn't as high as they like to see it. The MW recommended daily monitoring and the doctor recommended immediate induction. I didn't know what to do and the doctor got very upset, she took me and my mom into a room and told me over and over if I didn't get an induction immediately with continuous monitoring my chance of delivering a stillborn baby were very high. My MW told me that the baby was scoring an 8/8 everything looked good and she thought it would be wise to wait it out. I was so overwhelmed I cried and cried. Finally a nurse practitioner who was also a very experienced MW mediated and they had a meeting and made the decision that being induced was the right thing to do.
I was under the impression that my MW would be doing the induction, but at the last min she transferred my care to an OB. Very long story short the next three days involved me staying in the hospital being ignored. They began the induction with a prostiglandin gel and it was supposed to be redone every 6 hours, the hospital got busy and it was done ever 14hrs or more. After 3 gels and one cervidil, meeting with 15+ doctors who all had a different opinion and made a different game plan that was never followed through with, I was exhausted, sore, scared and fed up and the baby's NST's got less and less reassuring.
On day 4 of the induction a doctor checked me again and nothing had changed, contractions were weak and I was beat down. The exam was so painful I cried, she told me she would give me some time to relax before taking out the cervidil because everything was beyond sore. She told me that she thought it was time to call it a failed induction and do a c section, and she was going to run it by the OB (she was a resident).
The OB came in about 20 mins later and told me he wanted to check me, I told him I was just checked and I'm very sore so I don't want to be checked again. He said that in order for him to make a decision about what to do he needed to check me. The coldest nurse came in and the doctor checked me in the most aggressive way. I was crying and said please stop, then things got really really painful I was yelling at the top of my lungs "What the f.uck are you doing, stop please stop" He had his hand on the top of my belly and there was no way for me to move. The doctor said that he was stretching me, I yelled no over and over and finally he stopped. The doctor then said "Oh you're just frustrated" DH started to cry, and told the doctor that you can't do things like that to someone against their will, this is Canada and that was so fu.cked up.
As a victim of a sexual assault that was dealt with at the same hospital things were not okay after that. I was crying so hard I was shaking for about 3 hours. Nurses kept apologizing to me, but it didn't matter. I had no desire what so ever to continue with the induction, I was so scared and couldn't even imagine being touched by another male doctor. DH was crying and apologizing to me.
The next morning I was sent up to the L&D ward there was a pitocin IV there waiting for me. I asked to talk to the doctor (a female OB) she came in and I told her that from my understanding pitocin when your cervix isn't favorable isn't a good idea and I think DH and I would be most comfortable going with a c section and avoid pumping my body full of drugs, tiring me out, and most likely ending up with the same result.
The doctor then told me that she thought the baby was too big, and in the wrong position to be delivered vaginally any way and that she supported my decision but thought that it may be worth trying the pitocin because I'm only 21, it's my first baby and I do want more children eventually. I spoke to my MW and she supported my decision to go ahead with the c section, the chances were very low that it would result in a vaginal birth but his chance of distress was very high.
The c section was terrifying. Getting the spinal was gross. I was under the impression that you were completely numb for a c section. I felt everything, and could see everything in the lights, it didn't hurt.. But I felt it.
Max Walter was born at 2:40 pm on Saturday. He came out screaming and it was the most amazing moment of my entire life. The US was bang on (I had a very skilled tech) and he weighed 8p 15oz.
Recovery is going okay physically, but now the baby blues have set in it's hard emotionally too. I worry I'm not feeding him enough, and that I'm too swollen no matter how much I'm reassured.
DH is an amazing father, and I'm so grateful for him. I'm also so thankful for you ladies, knowing you were thinking about me and that I would have support no matter what happend made things a little less scary. Thank you all so much for your words of encouragement. 100+ people being supportive at my scariest moment meant so much to me.
Max and DH
Re: Long Update PIP
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TTC/BFP/FF details in bio
But again, extremely happy that you are all safe and healthy now! Your babe is a handsome little guy!
I'm so sorry the birth was so traumatic for you. Your story brought tears to my eyes. Hugs to you.
TTC since 6/2003. m/c 9/14/03 8 weeks, 5 chemical pregnancies, mmc 6/04 12 weeks, Michael born sleeping 5/25/05 at 22weeks always our angel, fought ovarian cancer and won, m/c 4/06 5.2 weeks and 7/07 6.6 weeks,Our Miracle baby girl born 4/8/10,mc 12/18/11 at 5.3 weeks, BFP 10/26/12 dating u/s on 11/8/12 showing a strong heartbeat!EDD July 4,2013. RCS on 6/27. Baby boy in NICU for 8 long and scary days before he was able to come home. We are now a happy family of 4
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I agree with this totally. Congratulations on your beautiful baby boy, he looks absolutely perfect! Considering I cried reading this though and I am not even the one who went through it, I would find some way to make this maltreatment known. Maybe not right now, as you need plenty of time to recover, but it just isn't okay they did all that to you, a birth experience should never be like that.
But again, such a beautiful baby and you are such a strong mom who made sure to do what you thought was best for your son and he is so lucky to have that in his mama! Take it easy and enjoy your aptly named 'bundle of joy' ;D
Your baby is adorable! I'm so sorry your stay at the hospital was so awful...I can't believe doctors/nurses would treat someone that way! I'm glad everything with Max ended up being ok and I'm sorry for what you had to go through in order to have him:(
We're here for you if you need anything and I hope your baby blues get better:)
I'm sorry you had such a tramatic experience. I can't even imagine. FX for a speedy recovery.
Baby boy 7.10.13
TTC #1 since 5/2010 dx: annovulatory
RLP: 2/2012: normal HSG 3/2012: normal
BFP #1 7/20/11 M/C 7/25/11. BFP #2 11/29/11 M/C 12/21/11
I have two angel babies that I will see again one day
BFP #3 10/27/12 EDD: 7/6/13
Baby Emma arrived at 35 weeks by surprise on June 3rd, 2013!!
BFP #4: 5/23/14 EDD: 1/30/15 Emma's gonna be a big sister!
Beta #1 19DPO: 213 Beta #2 21DPO: 674
Wow. Just wow. I am so sorry you had to go thru this ordeal to have your miracle. We have definitely kept you in our thoughts and I'm sure as saddening as it is to read your very scary story, we are super happy you and Max are okay!!!
Congrats on your precious boy! Sending you lots of hugs and prayers
Married: July 28, 2012
DD: July 29, 2013
DS: July 1, 2015
Current EDD: May 15, 2017
Please find some comfort in the fact that with DS, I had a rather traumatic birth story as well. I've always been a bit green with envy reading the stories of other moms who have had such magical deliveries. I am scheduled for a RCS with LO for next Wed and I have been working with my doctors to ensure that this time doesn't just go smoothly but that we can enjoy it as well. I have faith and hope that this second time around will be better, and I hope the same is true for you one day.
Congratulations on your sweet, adorable baby boy! I am so glad that the both of you are healthy.
I am so sorry to hear about your traumatic experience. I got so angry reading it! I really hope that, as PPs have said, once you feel better that you can take some action against those who were so horrible to you.
Please take care of yourself!
L: 7/12/13
C: 5/11/15
E: 3/7/17
Due 11/10/18
I had a spinal with this csection for the first time. I totally agree, they are not fun at all. Being able to feel everything is not cool, plus I kept feeling like they were going to jerk me off the table with all the tugging and moving my body. Between that and listening to the Dr's talking about what they were doing, I was begging my husband to keep talking to me so I could just focus on him. With my boys I felt nothing at all, so much better.
Your son is adorable!! I am so glad he's okay, it must be such a huge relief for you to have him safely in your arms. Thanks for the update, I know a lot if us were getting really worried about you and your son.
Oh hun! I am so glad to hear something from you! I have been praying and hoping everything was OK. Some of your story absolutely brought tears to me eyes. I just can not believe all the total BS you had to go through after they were wanting to deliver that baby nights ago!
And that SOB who stretched you should be reported, he should have at least told you WTH he was about to do! What an A-hole! Grrr!
Your baby is so gosh darn cute!! I am so happy he is alright and I pray for a good recovery for you too! Keep us updated ((HUGS))
Congratulations! Max is beautiful!
I'm so sorry about your birth experience. Doctors need much more training on how to deal with sexual assault victims during birth. My first birth was fine, but this past one, the epidural didnt take and the doctors were so rough and got really mean when I flipped out (even though my OB had noted on my chart my history). You might want to consider doing a couple of therapy sessions to talk through the birth experience. I've had the baby blues worse with this baby and am wondering if it has anything to do with the birth experience, so I think I'm going to do a some sessions with my counselor.
Beautiful baby! I'm so sorry you had to go through that.
As a fellow Canadian, do you mind if I ask what hospital this was?
TTC since 5/2010; 01/2011=BFP, Missed M/C 6weeks, 3days; IUI #1: 7/31/2012 Clomid+ Trigger+ IUI+ progesterone =BFN; IUI#2: 8/29/12 Clomid + natural LH surge + IUI + progesterone =BFN -- IVF #1: 10/14/12 bw &u/s, antagonist protocol, Gonal-F 300. ER 10/26/2012: 9 eggs. Fert report #1: 8 fertilized; 5 day transfer: 2 embies (4AA&3AB) -- beta #1:8dp5dt=72 BFP! DD Born 07/26/2013! 07/2014=BFP
I'm sorry everything was so tough on you, that breaks my heart...but that little angel is perfect!!!! Congrats mama!