New turn of events

dmndsr4eva · July 2013

So...you may recall I mentioned that I had heard that BD broke up with his GF. Well FF to a few weeks later and his daughter posted a picture of my son in his room at his dad's by himself. It was him in his PJ's. I noticed the photo and it was fine as she posts pics of him from time to time. Well then I noticed two days later that someone had tagged her mom in the photo.

So basically I talked this out with my friend and she interprets this to mean that BD and his exwife are back together. How would you interpret this??

And BTW if they are back together than I guess that is fine with me. I know him and I will never be together so I guess if things can turn out happy for his daughters to get their mom and dad back together than more power to them. I know she will be good to my son...

ReeseFox · July 2013

Or...maybe she just wanted to show her mom a cute picture of her little brother.

dmndsr4eva · July 2013

ReeseFox:
Or...maybe she just wanted to show her mom a cute picture of her little brother.

Nope. Her mom had already seen it as she has replied with "oh I just love him so much." several days before the tag.

Littlejen22 · July 2013

Your sons photo was tagged by his sisters mother so you assume that means they are back together? Huge assumption. I take it to mean that his sister wanted to show off her brother to her Mom and possibly her Moms family. Stop reading into stuff. And man I would still like to know if your FI is still planning in using rat poison around your kid but you are so focused on your ex that you cannot seem to worry about what happens in your house.

ETA. Either ask your ex or stop obsessing over him as it is pathetic.

dmndsr4eva · July 2013

I had mentioned a long time ago that we no longer have any needs for rat poision. Should that situation ever come up again we will have to address it at that time.

I agree it is a bit ridiculous to assume this however I am not the only one. Several ppl have made the same assumption when I explain to them what happened.

And I wish it were the case that it was just to show her mom the photo but she posts pictures of my son fairly frequently and this was the first time ever that her mother was tagged.

trish_edmon · July 2013

I'm new here and I don't know the back story, but does it matter if they are back together? Just an honest question from a person who is new to this board.

dmndsr4eva · July 2013

trish_edmon:
I'm new here and I don't know the back story, but does it matter if they are back together? Just an honest question from a person who is new to this board.

Well it would matter to me mainly because she potenially could become my child's step mother. Which would make things complicated for a lot of reasons including that I was almost her children's stepmother and I was with him for 3 years and in love with him and we when we split it was his decesion. So no matter who he is with there is a jealousy factor as well as the concern for how that relationship will play out in my son's life. So yes it does matter.

Pamelacake · July 2013

It sounds like the picture thing.. yeah.. maybe She just wanted to tag to show him off to ppl who may have been around him when her mom was around.

If they are back together and she is good for to your son.. I see no reason to worry about it.

Pamelacake · July 2013

dmndsr4eva:
trish_edmon:
I'm new here and I don't know the back story, but does it matter if they are back together? Just an honest question from a person who is new to this board.
Well it would matter to me mainly because she potenially could become my child's step mother. Which would make things complicated for a lot of reasons including that I was almost her children's stepmother and I was with him for 3 years and in love with him and we when we split it was his decesion. So no matter who he is with there is a jealousy factor as well as the concern for how that relationship will play out in my son's life. So yes it does matter.

Oh.. That could make things difficult but I wouldn't want to be jealous over a man like that. Sorry if I'm wrong but it sounds like he played you both?

dmndsr4eva · July 2013

Pamelacake:
dmndsr4eva:
trish_edmon:
I'm new here and I don't know the back story, but does it matter if they are back together? Just an honest question from a person who is new to this board.
Well it would matter to me mainly because she potenially could become my child's step mother. Which would make things complicated for a lot of reasons including that I was almost her children's stepmother and I was with him for 3 years and in love with him and we when we split it was his decesion. So no matter who he is with there is a jealousy factor as well as the concern for how that relationship will play out in my son's life. So yes it does matter.
Oh.. That could make things difficult but I wouldn't want to be jealous over a man like that. Sorry if I'm wrong but it sounds like he played you both?

Yeah, to be honest I just don't see him ever settling down. She is probably asking for trouble if she is trying to get back with him. I really thought this last girl was the one for him. I hope I'm just imagining all of this. After everything they've put eachother through the past 12+ years after divorce I just don't see how they could reunite. That's a lot of baggage to get past.

xmaryrickx · July 2013

It means nothing. Who knows. I have accidentally tagged myself in pics before. Maybe that's what happened. Don't speculate.

Sunday924 · July 2013

dmndsr4eva:
trish_edmon:
I'm new here and I don't know the back story, but does it matter if they are back together? Just an honest question from a person who is new to this board.
Well it would matter to me mainly because she potenially could become my child's step mother. Which would make things complicated for a lot of reasons including that I was almost her children's stepmother and I was with him for 3 years and in love with him and we when we split it was his decesion. So no matter who he is with there is a jealousy factor as well as the concern for how that relationship will play out in my son's life. So yes it does matter.

I think this is a huge thing to assume.

Sometimes I think you are a little of your rocker but I have to admit if DH and I split and he got back together with BM I would flip my sh*t. I'd rather him with any other woman.

Lavender P · July 2013

OP, does your fianc? know you are still obsessed with your X? I can't imagine how any guy could be happy knowing that the person they are engaged to is still analyzing her X's life in painstaking detail.

trish_edmon · July 2013

dmndsr4eva:
trish_edmon:
I'm new here and I don't know the back story, but does it matter if they are back together? Just an honest question from a person who is new to this board.
Well it would matter to me mainly because she potenially could become my child's step mother. Which would make things complicated for a lot of reasons including that I was almost her children's stepmother and I was with him for 3 years and in love with him and we when we split it was his decesion. So no matter who he is with there is a jealousy factor as well as the concern for how that relationship will play out in my son's life. So yes it does matter.

If your talking jealousy then I think it is completely beyond the well being of your son and who is in his life. I get wanting to know who is around your son though, and if that is truly the case then be up front and ask.

Are you friends with his daughter on FaceBook or were you creeping and found this?

dmndsr4eva · July 2013

I am friends with the mom and my FI is friends with the daughter. So between the two of us we saw both photos.

I used to be friends with the daughter until she mysteriously deleted me. Which is a whole other story. When we first broke up she was friends with me and even to the point of coming to my house on several occasions. Then all of the sudden had a change of heart. I never did get an explanation for that one.

Ilumine · July 2013

dmndsr4eva:
I am friends with the mom and my FI is friends with the daughter. So between the two of us we saw both photos.
I used to be friends with the daughter until she mysteriously deleted me. Which is a whole other story. When we first broke up she was friends with me and even to the point of coming to my house on several occasions. Then all of the sudden had a change of heart. I never did get an explanation for that one.

Seriously, you cannot figure this one out?

Then you are more self-absorbed than I first thought.

+just+j+ · July 2013

You are worrying waaaaaaay too much about things you can not control.

twister22 · July 2013

It does sound strange, and although it can be tempting to try to figure these things out, don't dwell on these things.

If XW & BD are back together, that would be very odd, especially considering everything they went through. It's likely just that the XW is supportive of her daughter's relationship with her brother.

PrettyInPearls23 · July 2013

FFS, will you ever get it????

mom2one · July 2013

dmndsr4eva:
trish_edmon:
I'm new here and I don't know the back story, but does it matter if they are back together? Just an honest question from a person who is new to this board.
Well it would matter to me mainly because she potenially could become my child's step mother. Which would make things complicated for a lot of reasons including that I was almost her children's stepmother and I was with him for 3 years and in love with him and we when we split it was his decesion. So no matter who he is with there is a jealousy factor as well as the concern for how that relationship will play out in my son's life. So yes it does matter.

If you still have jealousy issues over your ex, kind of seems like you shouldn't be getting married to someone else.

Lavender P · July 2013

mom2one:
dmndsr4eva:
trish_edmon:
I'm new here and I don't know the back story, but does it matter if they are back together? Just an honest question from a person who is new to this board.
Well it would matter to me mainly because she potenially could become my child's step mother. Which would make things complicated for a lot of reasons including that I was almost her children's stepmother and I was with him for 3 years and in love with him and we when we split it was his decesion. So no matter who he is with there is a jealousy factor as well as the concern for how that relationship will play out in my son's life. So yes it does matter.

If you still have jealousy issues over your ex, kind of seems like you shouldn't be getting married to someone else.

Agree with this. If you are still jealous of who your ex is with then you haven't moved on. The opposite of love isn't hate, but indifference. You are so wrapped up in his life and his business that you can't even see straight. All of your posts recently have been about his relationship status. Unless he is with someone who treats your child badly, it is really none of your business who he is with.

Sigir · July 2013

Get off the facebook! Seriously! You are still friends w your ex's exwife?????? You don't see how this is unhealthy and fosters this obsessive thinking? Unless you and your fi delete them all as friends you will never truly move on.

2chatter · July 2013

I think what disturbs me most is that you are talking with people about this to get their opinions. And posting it. Tagging a photo is not an event. Monitoring who is with who and how other people feel is not healthy. I agree, what does your FI think of this? Have you tried counseling for yourself to see if you can disentangle yourself from ex and get to a healthier place?

CFjo2010 · July 2013

You must know that tracking who BD is or isn't with is not healthy, right? And don't hide behind the "well she might potentially be my DS' SM one day" garbage. You are essentially cyberstalking your ex, having discussions with people about what a tagged photo might mean and then obsessing over whether or not they are dating again. This is not healthy behavior.

Who cares why the XW is tagged in a photo? Who cares if BD and XW are back together? Who cares if BD and GF get back together? How does any of that impact you? Again, don't hide behind "it effects my child". BD's relationships should have no bearing whatsoever on your state of mind. His relationships should not be taking a single second of your time or energy in trying to figure out what's going on. If you are no longer in therapy, I really think you should go back. You are giving BD and his relationships way too much power and space in your head.

+just+j+ · July 2013

The best thing I ever did was remove and/or block XSD, XSS, XH, & XMIL. Out of sight. Out of mind. My life improved immensely and good things keep coming my way. Seriously - my life has done a complete 180, and I am so much happier now without their stupid crap in my life.

What's also very disturbing to me is you give NO INDICATION at all that you even get that what you're doing is not right and not healthy.

You seriously need to move on and quit worrying about him.

If XH stopped talking to me, I'd consider it a blessing. I'd get on with my life and focus on my child and being the best mother I could be to her. I owe that to my child no matter what the situation and while I get that you want to know who he's dating and if she is a decent person to be around, your child, I most certainly wouldn't be focussing that intently on something I can't change or control - which is exactly what you are doing.

I am willing to bet he's not talking to you for good reason. You need to get healthy. If you're not going to a therapist - you need to.

Want a personalized experience?

New turn of events

Re: New turn of events

Choose Another Board

Search Boards