Help.. Again!

apritchett50 · July 2013

I posted on here a week or two ago just to get a feel for the natural childbirth thing! I'm a FTM due in October! I have since read 2
books which helped a little, one really taught me alot about early and active labor! Now I'm still having some trouble with supportive people! Almost everyone I have told I was considering going natural has laughed at me! I tried talking to my husband about it but he never has an opinion about anything so it didn't help! I have been seeing an ob/gyn for the pregnancy but haven't mentioned to her I am interested in natural childbirth. I plan on doing so at my next appointment! Anyway, I will be in a hospital setting without a midwife or doula. I know most people going natural use one of these but I really don't want to. I just feel really alone in my decision and wonder if I should just not ask anyone about it anymore! All advice is appreciated!

Tigerlilym15 · July 2013

Definitely find out if your OB is natural birth friendly. If so, that will make a big difference. Also, you can ask for a natural friendly nurse when you are at the hospital. You will see a nurse a whole lot more than your doctor and I think having one who is supportive and helpful of natural birth makes a big difference.

It sounds like your DH isn't against natural childbirth so I would try to get him more involved in helping you prepare and knowing what he can do to support you in labor.

xnbride · July 2013

I would call the instructor for the birth classes and ask her which providers are the most natural birth friendly. Some OBs make it seem like they are friendly but then on the day of the birth, they just do their own thing with little regard for your preferences. It is very important to find out how your OB actually is. The instructors try to be diplomatic in their responses but you will know based on the response. Also ask around. Ask your local friends who had natural labors and find out who their providers are and how the hospital handled their requests.

JAck5209 · July 2013

I felt the same way about the people in my life. Everyone just assumes that you need an epidural to survive labor, not true! I just look at the negativity as fear. They're afraid to try a natural labor. Ignore the opinions of people who are giving you negativity and talk to your doctor. You definitely want to have a chat with her about your plan. Your H and your doctor will have the biggest influence on the day of your birth. I would have an in depth talk at your next appointment and bring it up at each following appointment so she knows you're serious.

Also, make sure she writes a note in your chart. When I was early labor and called L&D to ask if I should come in and the nurses encouraged me to labor at home because they saw the note that said I wanted a natural birth.

Maybe if you take some time to educate your H about natural birth he will be able to better support you. He needs to learn to be a good cheerleader! Haha

stefaknee · July 2013

Is there any reason you wouldn't be comfortable having a doula to help during labor?

Honestly, if I ever birthed in a hospital again - I would hire a doula in an instant. Husbands can only be so much help. Especially if they see their wife in pain. Their instinct is to want to make the pain go away. Having a doula there would help guide dad in ways to assist you deal with the pain, versus running to the nurses station for an epidural

I don't think I've ever met someone that regretted having a doula at their birth.

I would also research more about the hospital you are delivering at. Find out about the nurses and how they approach natural child birth. They will be with you entirely more than an OBGYN will.

I would also make out a birth plan and make sure every person that enters the room reads it. In order to be successful, you really have to be prepared going in.

clariknittist · July 2013

I get the negativity and naysayers - I felt like I had more than my share. It was important for me to know for myself exactly why natural birth was what I wanted, and thankfully my husband felt like whatever I wanted was what we would do. He actually read the Bradley method's "Husband Coached Childbirth" - the only baby-related book he ever read. He knows me well enough to know what wasn't going to work for me, but the book itself really speaks to a partner about what to expect and why natural birth is desirable. If your hospital has a class, I'd recommend taking it. My biggest thing was being educated in that very class that I had a right to refuse any treatment - namely in my case, pitocin. The very second I got to the hospital, they wanted me to go on it. I refused for 12 solid hours, and they finally let it go and stopped asking me. I felt SO PRESSURED, if I hadn't known better, I would have been talked into it and then who knows what might have happened.

bleusimp · July 2013

I agree with pp. However, I can hire a doula, or use the money to spend an extra 2 weeks at home with my baby. I can't afford to do both...I've checked. By law, you have the right to refuse treatments and interventions in the hospital, so make sure someone is there to help you and be your advocate. I've already talked to my OB, who I researched before choosing, and plan on asking for a natural birth friendly nurse. I work at that hospital and help out with post partum patients, so I already have an idea of who I hope is on shift too. Ultimately, I'm only inviting people to the birth who are supportive and I can trust. My mom is an ld nurse and is finally on board with me, and now wants to know all about hypnobirthing. My boyfriend had been on board since the beginning...he was born at home.

abell77 · July 2013

I wouldn't discuss it with anyone unless you know they went med free also. People tend to be negative and unsupportive, and that's not what you need to hear right now. This board is a good place to be! You can do it:)

Five Lives · July 2013

It is totally possible to have natural birth in a hospital with a doctor. But it's a lot more of a struggle. My family doctor was so supportive, and pushes for breastfeeding. I've had some nurses who seemed nervous about forgoing some hospital policies, but afterwards were very excited about having been at a normal, undrugged birth with an alert baby. One nurse said, "You should do a birth video!" (I am not the type to do that, but it made me laugh.) It would be very difficult for a first time dad to be that much of an advocate for anything natural in the hospital if your doctors and nurses are not also on board. It's just too frightening for them, and it feels 'safer' to go with the suggestions of hospital staff. A woman who has been through it would be a good companion. A doula would be a great idea, if you don't have among your family or friends a woman who could be there.

Want a personalized experience?

Help.. Again!

Re: Help.. Again!

Choose Another Board

Search Boards