Making sure to invite everyone

Ledo · July 2013

Hi all,

My mom, grandma and aunt are throwing my baby shower for me but have asked for a list of people to invite. I've gotten all of the information on my friends that they can't get but now I'm a bit stuck.

My problem is that when I got married 6+ years ago, we had a work shower but did not do an actual wedding shower, just had some presents at our reception...either way, I ended up catching ALOT of flack from people because they weren't invited to a 'shower' and, since we had a very small wedding, weren't invited to that either.

So here is my question for yall....Should I just put a general post out on FB (where anyone that might be concerned can see it) saying, if you would like to come to my shower please let me know/send me or my mom your address, or should I just go with the list that I have already and not worry about it?

I really had a hard time coming up with my list as it was just because showers really make me rather uncomfortable...I don't want people to think I just want their gifts, but I also don't really feel like dealing with the same issues that we had with our wedding.

What are yalls thoughts? And TIA Smile

Helenahhandbasket · July 2013

Don't put a post up on facebook. Go with the list you have.

I can't imagine being upset that I wasn't invited to a shower.

74dragonfly · July 2013

Don't do the Facebook thing. I think that looks gift grabby. Just stick with your list. Only invite people you really have a relationship with.
Also I've known people who I'd love to go to their shower but I wasn't invited. I sent a gift anyway. If people want to but something for your baby They will.

EastCoastBride · July 2013

No. Don't do that. Keep your list to the people you really consider friends. Showers are NOT "invite all" events. And I honestly kind of side eye people who not only get upset but then actually TELL the person they are upset over not being invited.

EastCoastBride · July 2013

And how much real flack were you given that wasn't just good natured joking and really from how many people? Was it actually 2 or 3 or 30?

Ledo · July 2013

KKDRAGONFLY:
Don't do the Facebook thing. I think that looks gift grabby. Just stick with your list. Only invite people you really have a relationship with. Also I've known people who I'd love to go to their shower but I wasn't invited. I sent a gift anyway. If people want to but something for your baby They will.

Thanks for all the replys...and your post makes sense to me as that's what I've done in the past if I wasn't invited to something. Memories from the wedding debacle though just had me questioning myself really.

Ledo · July 2013

EastCoastBride:
And how much real flack were you given that wasn't just good natured joking and really from how many people? Was it actually 2 or 3 or 30?

Well, I really wasn't exaggerating very much at all. I was confronted by 10 people that I could name off right now if I felt like it, and I believe there was a few more. And no, these people were actually offended by not getting an invitation, I have a pretty good sense of humor but there was no humor in that situation back then.

msmerymac · July 2013

No. First, for wedding showers, you only invite people who are invited to the wedding anyway, so you wouldn't have invited them in place of inviting them to the wedding. Second, I didn't have a shower and absolutely no one complained; I think that's so odd that people would want to go to a shower so badly!

KELLILOVESJOSH · July 2013

I had family and friends upset with me because I refused to have a second shower! I think you should just invite who you want to invite, include those you remember being upset and don't do the FB thing.

ellewoodsSC · July 2013

I'd keep the info off FB. I think that the people who truly feel left out of a shower are few and far in between as it's more of an obligation than something you would really crave to attend. The guest list for showers should be reserved for friends and family that you consider really close, since it's an obligatory gift giving occasion. Also consider your host's budget and shower venue when coming up with a guest list. Just because someone offers to host, doesn't mean you are entitled to invite everyone you know on their dime.

JocelynB0911 · July 2013

I personally would keep the list you have and leave the rest alone. When you have to rack your brain for more people then IMO, then you didnt have that close enough of a relationship in the first place to invite them.

EastCoastBride · July 2013

Ledo:
EastCoastBride:
And how much real flack were you given that wasn't just good natured joking and really from how many people? Was it actually 2 or 3 or 30?

Well, I really wasn't exaggerating very much at all. I was confronted by 10 people that I could name off right now if I felt like it, and I believe there was a few more. And no, these people were actually offended by not getting an invitation, I have a pretty good sense of humor but there was no humor in that situation back then.

I''ll be really honest, then - you know a lot of weird people! Seriously... even if they were miffed to not be invited, the fact that they actually said something? It's weird.

And my take on this - these people who get all butt hurt over not being invited:

First - they are rude. Because either you want a small shower or your hostess sets a limit of how many you can invite, these people have the nerve to take issue w/ that? It's not their call that your hostess has to throw a larger shower in order to accomodate them.

Second - if it's "oh so important" they come to a shower, you know what they could do instead? Offer to throw you one. If they don't do this and all they do is b1tch to you that they weren't invited - oh well - that's on them. Not you.

database6 · July 2013

https://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html

RibbitGrl930 · July 2013

KKDRAGONFLY:
Don't do the Facebook thing. I think that looks gift grabby. Just stick with your list. Only invite people you really have a relationship with. Also I've known people who I'd love to go to their shower but I wasn't invited. I sent a gift anyway. If people want to but something for your baby They will.

Precisely. I find it silly that anyone would get upset at not being invited to a shower. Really? If you want so badly to give a gift, just give one. Or are you just in it for the free cake? Sheesh.

Ledo · July 2013

RibbitGrl930:
KKDRAGONFLY:
Don't do the Facebook thing. I think that looks gift grabby. Just stick with your list. Only invite people you really have a relationship with. Also I've known people who I'd love to go to their shower but I wasn't invited. I sent a gift anyway. If people want to but something for your baby They will.
Precisely. I find it silly that anyone would get upset at not being invited to a shower. Really? If you want so badly to give a gift, just give one. Or are you just in it for the free cake? Sheesh.

Husband says it was the free cake. I think they just kind of suck personally.

And yes, I know plenty of weird, demanding people who tend to think their feelings come first...alas, most of them are extended family so I'm sort of stuck with them.

Okay, I'm just going with what I have and if people get upset then o' well. Besides, once the girls get here I probably wont have time to care right? Stick out tongue

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