Circumsision???

JullianasMommy · July 2013

Ok I have 3 girls and am expecting our 1st boy. YAY!!!! I don't know anything about boys and my Dr. Asked me are u and your husband planning a circumsision for the baby? I was like Yes, definatly. My husband immediatly said hell no. So I want to and he doesn't. What do you ladies think about it. Anyone preggo with a boy or have boys what did u decide? Help please.

CaityA83 · July 2013

I agree with the other poster.

For me, I defaulted to my husband. I don't pretend to know what it's like to have a penis, circumcised or not... So I just talked to DH about it and he said he wanted DS to be circumcised. I will do the same with this baby if its a boy also.

cherylnicole · July 2013

Is DH circumcised? Rather, what was his reasoning against it? To us, it was a no brainer really...we both immediately agreed to circumcise. I say you and DH just talk it out and figure out the best decision for the two of you!

FutureMrsCaesar · July 2013

I deferred to my husband on this. There are actually TONS of medically convincing reasons NOT to circumcise and almost none for circumcision. So if you husband doesn't want to, it might not be a bad idea to follow his lead on this one.

FWIW we did circumcise both of our boys, but like I said, I let my husband make that call.

MEP923 · July 2013

I did do some research on it and I saw pros and cons to both sides of it. We decided to circumcise and will again if this one is a boy. That was the best decision for us.

KFiori1 · July 2013

DS is circumcised.

leahraewku · July 2013

Is there any reason, aside from social conformity, that makes you pro-circ? On the contrary, what are your husband's reasons for not wanting to circumcise? I think evaluating your reasoning for each side is a good start.

When I was pregnant with DS, I did a lot of research on the subject and was really on the fence (leaning toward not circumcising). DH was adamant we do it. Ultimately, we did it because DH is a doctor and I'm not.

This might help also...

https://www.aap.org/en-us/about-the-aap/aap-press-room/Pages/Newborn-Male-Circumcision.aspx?nfstatus=401&nftoken=00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000&nfstatusdescription=ERROR%3a+No+local+token

ladameperdue · July 2013

I can see this topic starting a mess. But I think many men want for their sons whatever they have or don't have themselves, as they don't know any differently. Personally we wouldn't, and wouldn't cut /pierce anything on our daughter either.

JullianasMommy · July 2013

My DH is not. That's why I think he is against it but when I ask him why he doesn't have any reason. I really want to circumcise but I don't even have a reasoning either. I think you ladies are right I'm going to do my research and have us both talk to the Dr. about the pros and cons.

Thanks!! :

ermimac · July 2013

With DS we decided to get him circumcised. I did my research, but I ultimately left it up to DH. Since DH is, he wanted his son to "look" like him when it came to potty training, noticing body parts, etc. We will most definitely get this little boy circumcised too. With DS, it was a quick and relatively painless process. The Dr put a tiny bit of sugar on a pacifier to calm him and that was it. I think you need to talk to your DH about why he is against it and as others said, do your research.

imrachellea · July 2013

I left the decision up to DH. When we went over it with my doctor they told us typically that is what they see in their practice. We will be circumcising if its a boy.

mcraig107 · July 2013

With my first I wanted him circumcised but the doctor that did them at the hospital he was born at wasn't there and my pediatrician didn't do them so it was just put on the back burner and never done ( I got sick after I had him). With my second I was dead set on him getting one and he got one. I think it helps with hygiene but my oldest has no issues and I told him how he needs clean his private area. I believe it's a personal choice and I wish I would of gotten my oldest circumcised and hope he doesn't have any issues along the way. BTW my brother wasn't circumcised either and from what my mom has told me never had issues either. I don't talk to my brother about his private area so I'm not sure how he feels about it being older hahaha.

Rachel5782 · July 2013

Very personal decision. Do your research. DH is Jewish so it was important to him for DS to get circumisized so we had the doctor do it in the hospital. Fewer and fewer boys are being circumisized now than there used to be. Now the stats say that about 50/50 boys are being circ'ed. So if you decide against it, he won't be the only one in the locker room still intact.

notkateanymore · July 2013

gwinnygirl:
Cashingn2:
I think you should do a lot of research on circumcision before you make your final decision. This is a hot topic on these boards.
We have a son, we made the decision after doing our own research. We are happy with what we chose (which is no one's business BTW).
You will find some people adamantly for and some people vehemently against circ'ing. It's a very touchy subject.

This. We've made our decision, but it's really nobody's business but ours.

zxifnswdjdfn · July 2013

I would say definitely do your research on it. My husband and I are in full agreement that we will NOT circumcise if we have a son. When the issue first came up in my last pregnancy (we were team green until 37 weeks) my husband strongly was against it but all I had heard was that we needed to (my family) until I looked into it more. I found that there was no medical reasons to actually do it and it was mostly an aesthetic thing. It's also very uncommon in most of the world, and started in America as a means to prevent masturbation (really. Look it up.) Anyway, I started researching it and watched one of the videos and I can say that I personally got sick from watching and reading about it. I won't judge anyone who does it, but I can definitely say it's not happening here. My family isn't thrilled with the decision, but in my opinion, my kid's genitals isn't really their call anyway.

Bottom line: do your own research and make your decision with your husband based on that. Good luck.

mlwerts · July 2013

I also believe it's a personal choice. I told DH that I leave the decision in his hands as I really cannot relate. He is not circumcised because he was born in a country where that was not common practice and he has said that if we have a boy we will. I would highly recommend seeking advise from your doctor and/or pediatrician. I also think that it is a good idea to do your own research but beware of the internet as there is a lot inaccurate information. You might ask your doctor if they can point you in the direction of some medical studies that are both for and against so you know the information is credible. There are compelling arguments on both sides so all you can do is arm yourself with as much credible information as possible and make the best decision for YOUR family. Good luck!

[Deleted User] · July 2013

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greenbeanqueen · July 2013

I am not a nurse or doctor so I say that to let you know that most of my information is coming from a conversation I had with my mom who is a nurse.

I was talking to my mom about circumcision. DH and I will most definitely circumcise our child for religious reasons, and personal ones. I however do not impose my personal thoughts onto anyone. When I talked to my mom about this, however, she told me that there were so many horror stories from her nursing where men had to be circumcised due to cleanliness issues and the fact that their foreskin was holding in bacteria and infections. She said that not only was it extremely disgusting, it was very painful to the patient and that several of them mentioned that they wished they had been circumcised at birth because at least then they wouldn't remember having had that pain. Also, it is not as traumatizing to a baby boy as it would be to a grown man. She was telling me how she does not know of medical benefits of having the foreskin, but she has not really researched it because men's health is not her specialty.

That being said, I understand not wanting to do things to your son's body without consent, but at the same time parents make a lot of decisions that affect a child's health without asking the child. That is why they are parents.

I think it is a decision everyone should make on their own within their family.

74dragonfly · July 2013

I am not circumcising my son. Each parent should make their own decision but please do research. No judgement for what people decide but read up on it before you decide. It bugs me when people just make a decision without researching it.

As PP said only 50% of boys are circumcised.

MrsQueale · July 2013

No one can make the choice for you and your H. It's best for you to do all your research and form your own opinion before getting outsiders involved. I've only had girls, but I made sure H and I were on the same page for the start.

watercolor5 · July 2013

FutureMrsCaesar:

I deferred to my husband on this. There are actually TONS of medically convincing reasons NOT to circumcise and almost none for circumcision. So if you husband doesn't want to, it might not be a bad idea to follow his lead on this one.

FWIW we did circumcise both of our boys, but like I said, I let my husband make that call.

There are medical reasons to circumsise- they recently came out with studies that confirm that circumcision makes it harder to contract and pass STDs. That said, the AAP won't advise for or against it, but they certainly don't discourage it either.

74dragonfly · July 2013

Soozerella:
KKDRAGONFLY:
I am not circumcising my son. Each parent should make their own decision but please do research. No judgement for what people decide but read up on it before you decide. It bugs me when people just make a decision without researching it.
As PP said only 50% of boys are circumcised.

I think it depends on the area. My pedi said 50% which matched what i read on line.

As a side note, I was talking to my doctor about this and she said the rate at their hospital was 90%. I was like "holy sh*t."

ScarlettV · July 2013

watercolor5:
FutureMrsCaesar:

I deferred to my husband on this.  There are actually TONS of medically convincing reasons NOT to circumcise and almost none for circumcision.    So if you husband doesn't want to, it might not be a bad idea to follow his lead on this one.

FWIW we did circumcise both of our boys, but like I said, I let my husband make that call.

There are medical reasons to circumsise- they recently came out with studies that confirm that circumcision makes it harder to contract and pass STDs.  That said, the AAP won't advise for or against it, but they certainly don't discourage it either. 

I'm not for it against, but folks should know, if you choose not to circumsize, as pp said, you will need to make sure to keep sons foreskin clean, and teach him how to do it properly when older. Because yes, you can get a pretty bad infection from not keeping it clean.

That being said, I think this topic was handled quite nicely; no fists flying yet!

SoMoNY · July 2013

Our doctor for 1st DS said there was no medical need for it so we passed.

He came out perfect, who am I to put him through a painful procedure of no value?

FutureMrsCaesar · July 2013

Loolaide:
ScarlettV:
watercolor5:
FutureMrsCaesar:

I deferred to my husband on this. There are actually TONS of medically convincing reasons NOT to circumcise and almost none for circumcision. So if you husband doesn't want to, it might not be a bad idea to follow his lead on this one.

FWIW we did circumcise both of our boys, but like I said, I let my husband make that call.

There are medical reasons to circumsise- they recently came out with studies that confirm that circumcision makes it harder to contract and pass STDs. That said, the AAP won't advise for or against it, but they certainly don't discourage it either.
I'm not for it against, but folks should know, if you choose not to circumsize, as pp said, you will need to make sure to keep sons foreskin clean, and teach him how to do it properly when older. Because yes, you can get a pretty bad infection from not keeping it clean. That being said, I think this topic was handled quite nicely; no fists flying yet!
The keeping it clean thing is not really applicable for the first 5 years of life, I think. A lot of people don't know, but you should never forcibly retract a child's foreskin to clean it or anything else. You have to wait until it retracts on its own.
I think cleaning it is more of an issue with circumcision - a few friends have had penile adhesions and had to get it redone because of that.

i don't really consider having to wash his penis a medically valid reason to do it. I was unaware about the new info regarding stds, when I last researched the topic I don't recall seeing that. Still not sure it would change my opinion, but like I said I left this one up to dh, and if we have another boy I'm assuming he will be too.

leahraewku · July 2013

FutureMrsCaesar:
Loolaide:
ScarlettV:
watercolor5:
FutureMrsCaesar:

I deferred to my husband on this. There are actually TONS of medically convincing reasons NOT to circumcise and almost none for circumcision. So if you husband doesn't want to, it might not be a bad idea to follow his lead on this one.

FWIW we did circumcise both of our boys, but like I said, I let my husband make that call.

There are medical reasons to circumsise- they recently came out with studies that confirm that circumcision makes it harder to contract and pass STDs. That said, the AAP won't advise for or against it, but they certainly don't discourage it either.
I'm not for it against, but folks should know, if you choose not to circumsize, as pp said, you will need to make sure to keep sons foreskin clean, and teach him how to do it properly when older. Because yes, you can get a pretty bad infection from not keeping it clean. That being said, I think this topic was handled quite nicely; no fists flying yet!
The keeping it clean thing is not really applicable for the first 5 years of life, I think. A lot of people don't know, but you should never forcibly retract a child's foreskin to clean it or anything else. You have to wait until it retracts on its own.
I think cleaning it is more of an issue with circumcision - a few friends have had penile adhesions and had to get it redone because of that.
i don't really consider having to wash his penis a medically valid reason to do it. I was unaware about the new info regarding stds, when I last researched the topic I don't recall seeing that. Still not sure it would change my opinion, but like I said I left this one up to dh, and if we have another boy I'm assuming he will be too.

I posted it in my original response, but I'll share again. It's dated 8/27/2012, so this info probably didn't exist when you did your previous research.

https://www.aap.org/en-us/about-the-aap/aap-press-room/Pages/Newborn-Male-Circumcision.aspx

mavgirl_73 · July 2013

Since we've had 2 girls and are having a 3rd we've never had to make that sort of decision. However my DH and I have discussed at length about reasons for and against. He is and if we had a son our son would be as well. I'm well aware of the studies on the medical risks and benefits of each and as someone whose worked in a lot of nursing homes I've seen the horrifics of older gentlemen who are not circumcised. I often have to work on toileting and the disgustingness that is an infected foreskin due to neglect, failure to thrive, and just generally very advanced age pretty much sealed the deal on my thoughts on circ. Its not about cleanliness as a child but rather as a much older adult that got to me. Again as previous pp have said, it's a personal decision but get informed and make the decision that is best for your family.

zou bisou · July 2013

We made a well-researched and joint decision to not circ. No regrets. No hygiene issues. If my son wants to be circ'd one day, he can do that.

I could not sit out on this decision because I am female.

sarah0632 · July 2013

FutureMrsCaesar:
I deferred to my husband on this. nbsp;There are actually TONS of medically convincing reasons NOT to circumcise and almost none for circumcision. nbsp; nbsp;So if you husband doesn't want to, it might not be a bad idea to follow his lead on this one.FWIW we did circumcise both of our boys, but like I said, I let my husband make that call.

I have to disagree. Hygiene is a medical reason for circumcision. Men can't seem to keep it clean. As well, later in life many men run into other issues with their foreskin. They can't pull it back anymore, which results in them peeing everywhere and being unable to have sex etc. I worked for a urologist who was often doing circumcisions for men 60 years or they would get a "dorsal slit" done, but often that would just have to be repeated.

Crgardner957 · July 2013

My husband and every one in our family got a circumcision so I just knew that's what we were going to do with my son. If this one is a boy he will get one too. Usually from what I've heard if the father didnt get one the son doesn't. But that's just what I heard.

EmJacks0n · July 2013

sarah0632:
FutureMrsCaesar:
I deferred to my husband on this. nbsp;There are actually TONS of medically convincing reasons NOT to circumcise and almost none for circumcision. nbsp; nbsp;So if you husband doesn't want to, it might not be a bad idea to follow his lead on this one.FWIW we did circumcise both of our boys, but like I said, I let my husband make that call.

I have to disagree. Hygiene is a medical reason for circumcision. Men can't seem to keep it clean. As well, later in life many men run into other issues with their foreskin. They can't pull it back anymore, which results in them peeing everywhere and being unable to have sex etc. I worked for a urologist who was often doing circumcisions for men 60 years or they would get a "dorsal slit" done, but often that would just have to be repeated.

I agree. I can't keep silent anymore. There's another side to this argument. I just wanted to offer one perspective from 'the adult uncircumsized male' and his wife. My husband is not circumcised, but said he would do it now if it wouldn't be such a painful transition, ie exposing nerves to rubbing on fabric that have never been exposed before. His other main reason why he wouldn't want to do it now is bc sex wouldn't feel as good for him, bc the nerves would not be as sensitive after getting rubbed in a way they aren't accustomed. I'm looking at it from a woman's perspective. If it wasn't as pleasurable for him, there would be more time for it to be pleasurable for me. Do you catch my drift? He would still have the ability to reach his goal, but it would give me a better chance to reach mine more often. Not to mention, that at times it can be less than appetizing. I've never experienced a problem with a circumcised penis being less than fresh. Sometimes I just want to tell his mom that she did a stellar job making that decision. I'm sure I'm going to get jumped all over for this, but its honest, and it is something we've discussed for the past 8 years. In the end, he agrees that it needs to go.

RNmommyof2 · July 2013

We have 2 girls and this will be our first boy as well. He will absolutely be circumcised. That was a decision we made together as well. I think it's a highly personal decision for each family and can cause rather charged debates on here. Make the decision you feel is best for your family.

zou bisou · July 2013

EmJacks0n:
sarah0632:
FutureMrsCaesar:
I deferred to my husband on this. nbsp;There are actually TONS of medically convincing reasons NOT to circumcise and almost none for circumcision. nbsp; nbsp;So if you husband doesn't want to, it might not be a bad idea to follow his lead on this one.FWIW we did circumcise both of our boys, but like I said, I let my husband make that call.
I have to disagree. Hygiene is a medical reason for circumcision. Men can't seem to keep it clean. As well, later in life many men run into other issues with their foreskin. They can't pull it back anymore, which results in them peeing everywhere and being unable to have sex etc. I worked for a urologist who was often doing circumcisions for men 60 years or they would get a "dorsal slit" done, but often that would just have to be repeated.
I agree. I can't keep silent anymore. There's another side to this argument. I just wanted to offer one perspective from 'the adult uncircumsized male' and his wife. My husband is not circumcised, but said he would do it now if it wouldn't be such a painful transition, ie exposing nerves to rubbing on fabric that have never been exposed before. His other main reason why he wouldn't want to do it now is bc sex wouldn't feel as good for him, bc the nerves would not be as sensitive after getting rubbed in a way they aren't accustomed. I'm looking at it from a woman's perspective. If it wasn't as pleasurable for him, there would be more time for it to be pleasurable for me. Do you catch my drift? He would still have the ability to reach his goal, but it would give me a better chance to reach mine more often. Not to mention, that at times it can be less than appetizing. I've never experienced a problem with a circumcised penis being less than fresh. Sometimes I just want to tell his mom that she did a stellar job making that decision. I'm sure I'm going to get jumped all over for this, but its honest, and it is something we've discussed for the past 8 years. In the end, he agrees that it needs to go.

I guess I can offer the flip side to this flip side as the wife of a circ'd male. My husband is none too pleased with his parents' decision to circumcise. He's of the opinion that it was his body and he should've had a say. And it doesn't help that they did it for silly reasons - that is, to make him look like dad. Not sure why that is so important. It's not like there are going to be family photos where all the penises have to look alike like a set of matching sweaters or something. Dh researched it a lot. He says he's missing the extra sensation from nerves in the foreskin ,and that the head is still too exposed to rough fabrics etc even after decades of chafing taking place (the med term is keratinization). In short, he wants the benefits that a foreskin offers.

And about blaming his parents, I should correct that. He irrationally holds it against his mom more. I don't know what's up with that. In all likelihood, I can see his mom taking the "I don't have a penis so I can't weigh in" stance. But he feels she should've defended him as his mom. Poor moms. We always seem to get the blame.

CRouzer · July 2013

I had my son circumsized and will this time if its a boy.. Mainly for cosmetic reasons.. I have meet a few men who were intacted and HATE it!! In my husband profession, he comes across many men in their adult ages wanting to be circumsized now and get them done.. Getting it done at a later time causes complications.. I don't want my son later in life coming to me asking me why not and wished I did.. Just my take on it.. Could care less what people think and claim I took away his right or I mutilated him..

bunnybean · July 2013

We will not be circumcising if our baby is a boy. It is not my right to alter his body in any way. If he decides he wants to be circumcised, he can have it done when he can legally consent.

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