February 2013 Moms
Christee25
member
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smoking babysitter
Christee25
member
My aunt has agreed to watch DS in September when I go back to work full time. This is a huge relief and blessing! She is a wonderful person and is soo good w/ DS. However, she does smoke and I have not broached this with her since she agreed to watch DS. She will respect whatever my wishes are for sure, which would be no smoking in car or house or obviously around DS. However, she is doing us a huge favor and I want to be reasonable and fair to her. So before I broach this subject w/ her, I wanted to ask you ladies what you find reasonable. For example, do you think its okay for her to go outside while he is sleeping and smoke, obviously washing her hands upon coming inside? Or absolutely no smoking at all while on duty? LOL. We are paying her a small amount and she did resign from her current job to watch him. I want to be clear w/ her from the start but I'm not sure where I stand yet. I prefer her not to smoke at all but I realize this may not be viable. She may also tell me she won't smoke at all while she is watching him so this may be a mute point, but like I said, I just want to be firm and not wishy washy when I bring it up. Your input is appeciated! TIA!
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Re: smoking babysitter
I would say, put aside your worries about offending or inconveniencing her and focus on what you are comfortable with. Does the idea of her stepping outside to smoke while watching your DS bother you? Is it something that you are going to worry about if you know it is happening? If so, ask her not to. I'm sure she will understand. Most workplaces do not even allow employees to smoke on site these days, so she may already be used to that.
With that said, I can see both sides of the issue. My mom and step dad smoke. They do step outside and smoke when they are at our house, but they wash their hands immediately and I haven't noticed them smelling of smoke when they come inside and are around her. While I wish they would quit, I don't stress out too much about them being around DD if they take these precautions.
My DH smokes and it is super annoying (and expensive!) to me. We have an outside rule only and he needs to wash his hands and face upon coming inside. You might ask her to wear a smock to smoke so there is less on her clothes too. Obviously, no smoking in the car should be a big one. DH thinks rolling down the window is fine and I had a FIT, so we are clear now that is not okay ever. In my experience, a lot of people in my family who smoke seem oblivious to the health implications for those around them. I really hope my DH can stick to his plan to quit or at least switch to those electronic ones. I'd definitely make it clear what your expectations are up front.