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February 2013 Moms
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smoking babysitter

Christee25Christee25 member
in February 2013 Moms
My aunt has agreed to watch DS in September when I go back to work full time. This is a huge relief and blessing! She is a wonderful person and is soo good w/ DS. However, she does smoke and I have not broached this with her since she agreed to watch DS. She will respect whatever my wishes are for sure, which would be no smoking in car or house or obviously around DS. However, she is doing us a huge favor and I want to be reasonable and fair to her. So before I broach this subject w/ her, I wanted to ask you ladies what you find reasonable. For example, do you think its okay for her to go outside while he is sleeping and smoke, obviously washing her hands upon coming inside? Or absolutely no smoking at all while on duty? LOL. We are paying her a small amount and she did resign from her current job to watch him. I want to be clear w/ her from the start but I'm not sure where I stand yet. I prefer her not to smoke at all but I realize this may not be viable. She may also tell me she won't smoke at all while she is watching him so this may be a mute point, but like I said, I just want to be firm and not wishy washy when I bring it up. Your input is appeciated! TIA!
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Re: smoking babysitter

  • froggystomperfroggystomper member
    My mom watched DD for me and I'm not paying her very much at all. She comes to our place so it's already a smoke free interior but I let her smoke on the balcony. My SO is a smoker too so he also only smokes outside. Mom showers before she comes over in the morning and SO showers as soon as he gets home from work. They both wash their hands before baby handling. This works for me. I'll probably get some sort of flamed for that but I'm not gonna make a woman who's watching my kid have a nic fit several times a day while she's doing me a favor.
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  • CatieM80CatieM80 member

    I would say, put aside your worries about offending or inconveniencing her and focus on what you are comfortable with. Does the idea of her stepping outside to smoke while watching your DS bother you? Is it something that you are going to worry about if you know it is happening? If so, ask her not to. I'm sure she will understand. Most workplaces do not even allow employees to smoke on site these days, so she may already be used to that.

    With that said, I can see both sides of the issue. My mom and step dad smoke. They do step outside and smoke when they are at our house, but they wash their hands immediately and I haven't noticed them smelling of smoke when they come inside and are around her. While I wish they would quit, I don't stress out too much about them being around DD if they take these precautions. 

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  • pitterpatter129pitterpatter129 member

    My DH smokes and it is super annoying (and expensive!) to me.  We have an outside rule only and he needs to wash his hands and face upon coming inside.  You might ask her to wear a smock to smoke so there is less on her clothes too.  Obviously, no smoking in the car should be a big one.  DH thinks rolling down the window is fine and I had a FIT, so we are clear now that is not okay ever.  In my experience, a lot of people in my family who smoke seem oblivious to the health implications for those around them.  I really hope my DH can stick to his plan to quit or at least switch to those electronic ones.  I'd definitely make it clear what your expectations are up front.

     

     

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  • penguingrrlpenguingrrl member
    MIL watches our kids pretty frequently (I'm a SAHM so not something regular) and she is a smoker. She never smokes when the kids can see her (I never had to make that rule as she started doing that before my kids were born), always puts a specific shirt/jacket on to go outside to smoke that she doesn't wear otherwise, doesn't smoke in her own home or car or anyone else's and washes her hands as soon as she comes inside. While I understand there could be a very small amount of residual smoke on her I'm okay with that. I'm hyper allergic to cigarette smoke (will wheeze for a while if I walk past someone smoking on the street) and can be around her after, so I feel it' no worse than other environmental toxins.
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  • blondehairblueeyeditalianbabyblondehairblueeyeditalianbaby member
    You need to decide what you are comfortable with and make it clear upfront. My father and MIL both watch DS and are both smokers. My father showers before coming and does not smoke at all while over. I never even had to discuss it with him. My MIL is a different story. I made it very clear years before we had a baby that my child would live in a smoke free environment. She knew this upfront. When she comes to our house she fallows the same rules as my father which is great but she really wants to watch the baby at her house which is the problem. She smokes inside her home. She doesn't feel that it should be an issue as long as she doesn't do it while DS is there. We had a big fight about this after the baby was born. My expectations were clear all along and I didn't back down from them. My DS is 5 months and has never been to her house.
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