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February 2012 Moms
CotterpinDoozer
member
Whining for Daddy
CotterpinDoozer
member
So... DD is pretty whiney when DH gets near her lately. When she saw him this morning, she whined and turned away from him. He wasn't even near her. She only likes hugs and kisses from him sometimes, but usually doesn't want him to pick her up or get too close. What do you think is going on? What do I do when she does this? I try to ignore it and not pick her up and she throws her arms up at me when she's whining because he is near her. I don't want to make the situation worse, but I am confused.
Also - DH often ignores the whining and picks her up to hug and kiss her anyway. I really have issue with this, because as a grown woman I have real comfort issues around my own father because he often has and still continues to force hugging and cheek kissing when I am very uncomfortable about it. I won't want DD to end up feeling about DH like I do about my dad, so I don't know how to tell him to stop hugging and picking up his daughter.
I hope someone has some advice! TIA!
Also - DH often ignores the whining and picks her up to hug and kiss her anyway. I really have issue with this, because as a grown woman I have real comfort issues around my own father because he often has and still continues to force hugging and cheek kissing when I am very uncomfortable about it. I won't want DD to end up feeling about DH like I do about my dad, so I don't know how to tell him to stop hugging and picking up his daughter.
I hope someone has some advice! TIA!
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Re: Whining for Daddy
Does your DH and LO ever spend any time alone together? When we find one of our kids having a preference for either of us, we make a concerted effort for the other one to spend some 1 on 1 time together and do something special. Your DH could take your LO out for ice cream or to the park or to the book store or some place where you know your LO will have a good time.
I find that once our kids have had that 1 on 1 time they remember that the other parent can meet all their needs too and can be fun to be around. I think a lot of times LOs spend too much time with one parent and get used to turning to that parent for all their needs and fun.
Just a thought!
Here is a different opinion. Until recently, Allison saw both DH and I the same amount of time. She had a CLEAR preference for me. She would very rarely go to DH if I was around.
Now, DH is working a different shift and has tons of time with her every day, almost 3x what I do. She STILL prefers me. All the time.
When I'm not there, they are fine. But if I'm home, forget it...she is all over me.
I don't know that spending time alone will work on every child, it didn't on mine. We just try to do things that involve interacting with DH ("throw Daddy the ball!" "Give Daddy a hug").
As for forcing affection, it may be hurting the situation but it can be hard to tell a dad not to love on his kid...one thing at a time!
That's what concerns me the most...
so my theory is that since they are ok when I'm not around (same as you) I'm ok with her being clingy to me when we are both home. If she was refusing him when they were alone that is another issue. I really think it is a personality thing. And she will grow out of it eventually...someday she will be a teenager and hate us both!
Hahahah... so true!