Relatives hogging baby?
LCass
member
I know lots of us were dealing with this issue when we first had our LOs, but is anyone still dealing with it?
MIL has become a huge baby hog. My mom and I both can't stand it (especially since my ILs live 45 minutes away and see her regularly and my parents live 2.5 hours away and only see her once or twice a month, but MIL will still hog her when they're all together). She won't let FIL have a fair chance with Lily, and when he is spending time with her MIL corrects him all the time and constantly tells him what he's doing wrong (when there's nothing wrong). On Father's Day they arrived at our house just as Lily was waking up from her nap. I told MIL to wait for FIL to come too so he could see her as she wakes up, and she just kept going. DH told her to wait. I told her again. Finally DH had to snap at her "Hey, it's Father's Day, let Dad see her!"
It's also bugging me because she's changing my kid's nature. Lily has always been happy to go to anyone, not at all clingy. But MIL makes such a big deal about herself that Lily now clings to her and cries if someone else tries to take her. And I'm a bit worried about what happens when the next baby arrives, because I'm pretty sure MIL is going to be pretty blatant about Lily being her favourite.
I'm a very non-confrontational person. Any ideas on how to deal with this? Or anyone just want to vent about the baby hog in their own life?
BFP #1: July 12, 2010 Natural M/C: July 26, 2010
BFP #2: January 30 ,2011 Born: September 29, 2011
BFP #3: January 5, 2013 Born: August 25, 2013
Re: Relatives hogging baby?
I'd love to get DH to deal with it (especially since it's started bugging him, too), but whenever I tell him that he needs to address something with her he ends up making it very unclear and she doesn't get the point. I don't understand how/why, since he's usually a very good communicator, but it's happened twice in the last month or so with food issues and with doing stuff to our house without checking with us first.
I've tried bringing up the fact that the clingy/crying behaviour isn't really Lily's norm, but I think that just pleased MIL and made her feel special that she's the only one Lily does that for.
BFP #1: July 12, 2010 Natural M/C: July 26, 2010
BFP #2: January 30 ,2011 Born: September 29, 2011
BFP #3: January 5, 2013 Born: August 25, 2013
DH is the same way about communicating. I can see where your MIL thinks it is great that LIly does that with her. Maybe next time she does it, say something like she doesn't need to act like this and that you would appreciate her help with the situation.
Ooh, that's a good approach! Thanks! I'm also going to start subtly saying something when she makes a big deal about herself. For example, she'll go on and on about how Lily came to see Granny at Granny's house, and I'm going to just start saying "and Grandpa" every time she only lists herself. Hopefully she'll start to get the hint.
BFP #1: July 12, 2010 Natural M/C: July 26, 2010
BFP #2: January 30 ,2011 Born: September 29, 2011
BFP #3: January 5, 2013 Born: August 25, 2013